Rules For Not Getting Squished
by StoleTheSpider
Summary: A handy set of rules for living with the Autobots! Hopefully this saves you from annoying certain Autobots enough to result in you getting squished into a little human pancake on the ground... -Rated T to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

Sooo….Hi…This is my first fanfic on this site and I hope I'm doing this right. *hesitantly rubs back of head* But I digress. Anyhoo! This is my (hopefully funny) story about rules for living with those 'Bots we all know and love. Seeing as how I got this idea from the multiple others doing it, if you recognize something that's even remotely close to yours, it probably is and for that, I'm sorry. All credit for that part goes to you. My brain tends to throw things up at me at random and some of your ideas might be mixed in there somewhere. But I'm rambling! ON WITH THE FIC! *phwew*

Disclaimer:

Me: I OWN IT ALL! FANGIRL DENIAL! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Ironhide: *stomps in* What did we tell you about doing that squishy! *shoots at me with potato cannon*

Me: Ow! Hey-! Ouch! Ironhide! Agh! Knock it off! *runs off massaging bruised head*

Ironhide: *grumbles* StoleTheSpider does not own any of the Transformers.

Me: Or anything else for that matter! *sobs*

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><p><strong>1. Don't eat sugar around any of the 'Bots.<strong>

(They will take it.)

(I had one cookie.)

(Ratchet saw me eating it and nearly had a spark attack.)

(He channeled Ironhide right away for backup.)

(They both came running at me. Ratchet even went so far as to knock the cookie out of my hand with his trusty wrench.)

(It must have taken a lot of free time and skill to knock _ONE COOKIE_ out of my hand without even hitting me.)

(Afts.)

**2. Don't introduce either set of twins to paintball.**

(As fun as it seemed in the long run, paint and Autobots are not a good combination.)

(Turns out that paint is insanely hard to remove from an alt mode.)

(Who woulda thought.)

(And another thing, the twins tend to get a little trigger happy.)

(I had to clean more than one alt form that day.)

**3. Pirates of the Caribbean is banned from base.**

_-'Parley?'_

(Saying that to a Decepticon doesn't get you anything but a few confused looks.)

(Saying it to Megatron will just get you a bloodthirsty smile…)

(And a couple more of his weapons pointed your way.)

_-'Nobody move! I dropped me brain…'_

(This line makes Ratchet freak out a bit.)

(He did medical scans on me for the next hour and a half while keeping me tied down in the Med Bay.)

(Not fun at all.)

_-'My peanut.'_

(The 'Bots don't understand the meaning of cravings.)

(When hit by a sudden craving, don't growl at the surrounding 'Bots for food.)

(This tends to freak them out a bit.)

_-'I got a Jar of Dirt! And guess what's inside it?'_

(I recorded that song and played it over the intercom system.)

(For Two. Days. Straight.)

(I swear even Optimus' immense patience wore out.)

(Ratchet looked about ready to take a wrench to either me or the system.)

(Bumblebee surprised me by humming the song after Ironhide finally succeeded in turning it off.)

(By shooting the system with both of his cannons.)

(Spoilsport.)

**4. Books are to be read, not to be used as weapons.**

(Even though some of them seem to be made for it.)

(Take 'War and Peace' for example, or 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'.)

(Those pointy edges can be quite damaging to a 'Bots optics or a humans eyeballs.)

(Ironhide would know.)

(Bu that's what he gets for shutting off the 'Jar of Dirt' song.)

**5. Whipped cream is strictly for eating.**

(As a prank, I snuck up on Ironhide while he was in recharge.)

(I made rabid dog foam on his faceplates with whipped cream.)

(He didn't notice it until he asked what everyone was snickering about.)

(When he turned on me, cannons drawn, it dawned on me that the rabid foam was a good choice.)

(Very fitting.)

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><p>And that's Rules 1-5! Should I go on? Should I stop? Is this horrible and torture for your poor eyeballs to read? Please let me know by dropping me a review! And while your at it, feel free to tell me if I did even the smallest spellinggrammar mistake. I tend to make them a lot…T^T


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you! Just like to get that out there…I'm glad that you find the fic funny and that it (hopefully) made you laugh at least once! The reviews literally, no joke, made my day. I'm happy some people like it enough to alert/favorite/and such to the story! Thank you again! :D

Now here's Chapter Two with Rules 6-10. Hopefully they make you laugh! I don't know how fast I'll be updating but it'll probably be on an irregular basis. So heads up for that and I apologize in advance. But enough of my rambling! ONTO THE FIC!

Disclaimer:

Me: *sneaks back in* Is he gone?

Ratchet: *points wrench at me* Yes. He went off to take a quick recharge. He left me in his place.

Me: *whimpers* Mother…

Ratchet: Now say it.

Me: *sighs in defeat* I do not own anything that has to do with the Transformers.

Ratchet: *lowers wrench* Good. Your learning.

Me: *mutters* I just didn't want to get hit in the head by your wrench.

Ratchet: What was that? *picks up wrench again*

Me: Nothing! *runs off*

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><p><strong>6. Don't take Ironhide to a demolition derby.<strong>

(He seemed to enjoy it a little bit too much.)

(I let him out of my sight for one minute.)

(I now have to try and explain to the authorities how my truck barreled onto the demolition floor.)

(Without a driver.)

(Yelling 'Take this! You stinkin' Decepticons!' no less.)

**7. Do not bother the Autobots with homework questions.**

(I severely detest High School.)

(I swear the teachers are out to kill me with homework.)

(This one question was being a serious aft to complete.)

(I decided to utilize my resources and get help from the 'Bots.)

(Optimus was to busy with meetings and such.)

(Ratchet was preoccupied trying to get everyone into their monthly checkup.)

(Ironhide pointed his cannons at me.)

(Bumblebee blared his radio so loud I couldn't hear myself think.)

(Everyone else was either scouting, on a mission, or hiding.)

(That left Skids and Mudflap.)

(Pretty sure I'm not getting an 'A' on this homework.)

**8. Pets are not allowed on base.**

(I thought that the 'Bots could use a new friend running around.)

(Something smart like a cat or a dog.)

(Something that wouldn't get stepped on because it was to stupid to move outta the way.)

(Ironhide nearly lost control and blew up the small Retriever puppy that I bought.)

(He still must be angry at dogs from his experience with Mojo and 'lubricants'.)

(Turns out I had to return the poor puppy.)

(Lest Ironhide blow him to pieces.)

**9. Don't play with fire around the Autobots.**

(Being a pyromaniac tends to unnerve some 'Bots.)

(Cackling manically while torching targets in the weapons range doesn't help to ease their nerves.)

(I'm not allowed to have matches anymore.)

(Let alone the personalized flamethrower that Wheeljack made for me.)

(He seems to like supplying me with weapons and tools for my crazy, half-baked, and totally random plans.)

**10. Screamo music is to be restricted.**

(I downloaded a couple albums for 'Bee.)

(I wanted him to expand his musical horizons.)

(For the next few days, all 'Bee played was Slipknot and other varieties of regular and hardcore Screamo.)

(Barley anyone could understand him when he used the radio to talk.)

(Sam was coming at me with a baseball bat.)

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><p>And that is it for Rules 6-10! Were they okay? Please lemme know by dropping me a tiny little review by hitting that button down there! Thank for reading! :D<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

A day later than planned but here is update three with Rules 11-15! Sorry for any and all spelling/grammar mistakes…I tend to make them a lot…T^T

Thanks again for everyone who reviewed for the story! (Is this a story..? *shrugs* Whatever.) Glad that I could help make some of you guys laugh! :D I haven't had time to reply to all of your reviews yet but I will get around to it! I'm sorry! Thanks for reviewing and here comes Chapter Three! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: *clenches fists* Today will be the day! I can see it now! Today is definitely the day!

Sideswipe: What's today?

Me: I'm finally going to own the Transformers! *throws confetti and balloons*

Sideswipe: *says in devious voice* Oh really? *pops balloons near me by throwing his arm blade*

Me: Eep-!

Sideswipe: *grins* What about owning the Transformers?

Me: *swallows* Ironhide put you up to this!

Sideswipe: Maybe so.

Me: *groans* Curse that mech. *runs away screaming* I DON'T OWN THE TRANSFORMERS!

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><p><strong>11. ABC gun is to be disposed of.<strong>

(Leo, being the lazy aft he is, just spits the gum out on the floor.)

(Even when the trashcan is within arms reach of him!)

(Humans and 'Bots alike were all sick of stepping on discarded gun and later having to scrape it off.)

(So all the current residents on base decided to teach little Leo a lesson.)

(Leo woke up the next morning with all the discarded gum that could be found in his hair.)

(His girlish screams could be heard all around the base.)

(Leo was sporting a new haircut for the next few weeks.)

**12. Markers are for paper, not metal and skin.**

(I was seriously bored during one of Galloway's weekly rules ramblings.)

(Ironhide was sitting next to me during said meeting.)

(He was sleeping with his head in one hand, facing me, with his back towards Galloway.)

(Perfect.)

(Being one of those random girls who carries random stuff in her pockets, I just so happened to have a couple markers with me.)

(After several minutes, five washable markers, suggestions from other meeting members, and my not so impressive doodling skills…we were done.)

(Ironhide walked out of that meeting with a really high temper, less bullets than he came in with, and an array of animals, people, words, and other doodles on his faceplates.)

**13. Don't tempt Ratchet.**

(If given good reason, he will not hesitate to throw a wrench at you.)

(Maybe even a surgical saw if you rile him up enough.)

(Calling him 'Hatchet' is a good example.)

(It's best not to steal his wrench collection either.)

(Or get into a rubber chicken fight in front of him.)

(Sam and I were having a really off day.)

(Funny how our sources of amusement usually involve bodily harm.)

**14. "Slag happens" is not a valid excuse.**

(Especially if your using it to get out of trouble.)

(Scorching Galloway's pants with my personal flamethrower was my idea.)

(Optimus didn't take my excuse very well.)

(It consisted of a cheery shrug at his accusation with the excuse "Slag happens!")

(He smirked a bit, don't get me wrong, but he was still angry.)

(I got a one way ticket to my room along with my personal flamethrower being confiscated.)

**15. Surprise parties usually lead to violence.**

(Which is why the 'Bots and the N.E.S.T operatives don't have them.)

(Something about them being to busy to celebrate birthdays.)

(That just gave me all the more reason to throw one!)

(It was going to be Lennox's birthday over the weekend and I decided to celebrate it early by gathering everyone willing together to throw a surprise party.)

(Turns out there were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of willing people.)

(Setting up was easy, these people were trained for this kind of stealth, and we even had some Autobots help out!)

(When Lennox came in, he had Ironhide with him.)

(Looking back on it now, we should have warned Ironhide about the surprise party beforehand.)

(We all jumped out at my command and surprised the heck outta Lennox…and unfortunately Ironhide as well.)

(And when Ironhide gets surprised, which isn't often, his cannons come out.)

(The party started with a bullet ridden birthday cake, several trips to see Ratchet in the Med Bay, and a very hacked off weapons specialist.)

(Ironhide tends to shoot first and ask questions later, usually because he assumes everything and everyone is a Decepticon.)

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><p>And that's the end of the third chapter! I posted it later than I wanted and for that I am sorry! Post me a review if you have a moment to spare and tell me what you hate or like! Thanks for reading! See you at Chapter Four! :D<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry! I really wanted this typed up and posted sooner than this. I won't make up excuses and stuff and I'll just get on with the Chapter. ^ ^'

Also, I haven't had the time (Again. Geez. I'm a horrible person…T^T) to reply to all your reviews. But I'm going to reply to them! This I swear! Now! Enough of my rambling! ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: *points at neck* Wheeljack…What the frag is on my neck?

Wheeljack: It's a modified lie detector.

Me: Ooookay…Why is it on my neck?

Wheeljack: Because Ironhide told me you had issues with lying about ownership. Either that, or he just likes to torture you. This was the best idea I could come up with to solve both problems.

Me: *tugs on collar* So what does it do?

Wheeljack: Simple. Every time you tell a lie, the collar will give you a nasty little shock to remind you that you do not, in fact, own us.

Me: WHAT! WHAT THE FRAG! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! *tugs desperately at collar*

Wheeljack: *tuts* It's no use. That collar isn't coming off without my say so. Now. Let's try it out. Say you own the Transformers.

Me: Will you take this dang thing off if I do?

Wheeljack: ….Maybe. Now say it.

Me: *growls* I own the Transformers…BZTPBTZ! *receives huge electric shock and falls to the floor, twitching and smoking*

Wheeljack: Whoops! Hmm. Maybe the voltage was set a little to high. At least the lie detector part works! Now onto the truth of the matter. StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. Primus help us if she did…

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><p><strong>16. The Deathly Hallows are not real.<strong>

(Or so everyone likes to tell me.)

(Wheeljack and I are not convinced.)

(The Matrix of Leadership functions kinda like the Resurrection Stone.)

(Any matter of Cybertronian weapon could be the Elder Wand.)

(Especially Optimus' kick-aft sword.)

(All we need is a Cloak of Invisibility!)

(Wheeljack and I are working on it right away.)

**17. Don't introduce the Autobots to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.**

(I called an unofficial movie night.)

(Gathered around the huge 'Bot sized TV, with popcorn in hand, I popped in TMNT.)

(Ironhide said the monsters reminded him of the Decepticons.)

(Ratchet said it was scientifically impossible for a turtle or a rat to absorb any amount of toxic waste and be able to mutate into smart, human-sized creatures.)

(Much less do epic ninja movies or handle a weapon.)

(Spoilsport.)

(Wheeljack, however, got that devious look on his face when he plans on experimenting on something.)

(Since then, my pet turtle, Reptile, has mysteriously disappeared.)

(We have also been receiving strange deliveries to the base that Wheeljack steals away before anyone can see what is inside them.)

(I fear for Reptile.)

**18. Let sleeping soldiers lie.**

(This rules also applies for government officials.)

(Sadly.)

(Because I love it when my comrades fall asleep around me.)

(It's not often, since they're leaning to never let their guards down around me.)

(So when someone does fall asleep nearby, I take advantage of it.)

(This time it was Lennox and Galloway.)

(Lennox fell asleep on his own. Galloway may or may not have been drugged in order to get him to shut up.)

(So I whipped out my magic marker collection and drew the Dark Mark on Lennox's arm and the Decepticon symbol on Galloway's cheek.)

(When they woke up, everyone on base laughed at the Mark on Lennox.)

(Galloway's mark, however, scared the living Spark right out of the surrounding Autobots.)

(Ironhide tried to blow Galloway up, shouting that he always knew that the meddling fleshling was a spy for the Decepticons.)

(I was too busy dying of laughter to try and stop Ironhide long enough to tell him the truth.)

**19. Do not play Hide 'n Seek with the Autobots.**

(Especially if they don't know that your playing in the first place.)

(I was feeling sneaky and decided to try and out sneak the 'Bots using 'borrowed' N.E.S.T gear to hide myself from the 'Bots scanners.)

(I got Sam, Leo, and Mikaela in on the game as well.)

(When Bumblebee and the rest of the Autobots finally realized that we were missing, three hours had gone by.)

(Leo had already given up and revealed his hiding spot, but under pain of death, he didn't reveal the rest of our hiding spots.)

(It took another hour to find Sam and Mikaela because the Autobot's scanners and 'Bees frantic searching.)

(They couldn't find me because I had the best hiding spot…in the ventilation shafts!)

(Thinking I had won the game and out-snuck them all, I couldn't hold in my victorious giggles.)

(The muffled giggles must have been louder than I thought, because not two seconds later, a shot from what I knew to be from 'Hides cannon, shot up through the shaft and scared the slag outta me.)

(A couple seconds after the first shot, more shots blasted though and the shaft finally gave way because my weight and the multiple cannon holes that 'Hide had put into it.)

(I fell to the floor only to be surrounded by some furious Autobots.)

(Apparently they didn't find my game as fun, nor as funny, as I did.)

(I was sent to be under 24 hour watch in my room for the next week as my punishment.)

**20. Warn everyone on base when it is Halloween.**

(I came to base dressed in the best, most ironic costume I could find.)

(I was dressed as a Decepticon.)

(Megatron to be exact.)

(When everyone saw me, they literally froze for about five seconds.)

(Then all Hades broke loose.)

(Multiple cannons, guns, and such, were fired.)

(The Decepticon alarm was sounded.)

(I even had the odd wrench, potato, and table thrown at me.)

(Goes to show how organized we are if a Decepticon decides to pop in for an unexpected visit.)

(It took the resident Cybertronians and humans a good half hour to realize that I wasn't, in fact, a huge bone crushing unmerciful leader to the Decepticons.)

(For one thing I'm a good deal shorter than he is!)

(They had finally stopped shooting and throwing.)

(Granted, half of the throwers had already run out of ammo to throw at me anyway.)

(After a bunch of apologies from everyone and a promise from Ironhide not to miss next time, I finally got to enter the base and go through with the rest of my day.)

(Except when I had to tell Optimus about something and walked into his office only to have the whole mayhem from this morning happen all over again.)

(But ten times worse!)

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><p>And that's it! Are these getting too long? Are the author notes just a big mess of annoying ramble? Is anything getting on your nerves? Spellinggrammar mistakes? Let me know by dropping my a review! Please! :D


	5. Chapter 5

And now we move onto Chapter 5! Whoot! Sorry if these are getting to long and boring for you! And thank you for all the reviews! I'm getting way more of them than I thought I would get! I only expected a few total. Like 15. So thank you everyone reading! You give me inspiration to keep typing! And I need that because I have been known to be notoriously lazy when I do have free time…Geh…Anyhoo! Sorry for getting sappy and over-dramatic and ONTO THE CHAPTER! ROLL OUT!

Disclaimer:

Me: Hah! Loophole! Yes! I found a loophole! *does happy dance*

Optimus: Have you now. Loophole for what?

Me: For finally being able to say that I own you!

Optimus: And how do you plan on doing that legally?

Me: You said it yourself Optimus. 'Freedom is the right of all sentiment beings'. It is my freedom to say that I own you.

Optimus: …Forgive me…your logic makes no sense.

Me: Whatever. My logic makes sense to me and that's where it matters. *nods and smiles to self*

Optimus: *shakes head sadly* You will never learn. *reaches down and plucks me off the ground*

Me: WAH! OPTIMUS! PUT ME DOWN! *struggles in Optimus' grip*

Optimus: I would not do that if I were you. It is a long way down from here.

Me: Eep…*freezes*

Optimus: All this can be avoided with six little words.

Me: Man! You mechs are all out to crush my hopes and dreams. *sighs* Seeing as how I don't want to die I'll say it. StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. There. Happy to ruin my aspirations for today?

Optimus: Yes. Very.

Me: *grumbles*

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><p><strong>21. A Swirly is immature.<strong>

(I had never seen or heard of a Swirly before.)

(When read about some bully doing one to a poor kid in a book, I asked Leo what they were.)

(Leo, seemingly the expert on High School bullying tactics, explained in great detail to me about what a Swirly was and how exactly to perform one.)

(Now all I needed was a test subject and an excuse to perform one.)

(I would soon have my chance.)

(Wheelie was being his usual annoying, perverted self.)

(He was 'thanking' Mikaela again for who knows what and Sam looked about ready to blow a gasket and tear the former Decepticon into spare parts.)

(So I took care of the problem.)

(Shoving Wheelie into a cloth sack that I happened to have on my person, I carried Wheelie to the nearest human restroom.)

(Grinning deviously to myself, I pulled the squirming and protesting 'Bot out of the sack and readied myself to perform my first Swirly.)

(But it was not to be.)

(Ratchet, as if sensing that I was up to no good, came bursting into the restroom and busted me dunking a blubbering Wheelie's head into the porcelain bowl.)

(Two of Wheelie's mini bullets in my thigh: Immense pain and a bottle of painkillers.)

(Ratchet's yelling and lecturing: A wrench bruise on my arm.)

(Seeing pathetic wittle Wheelie sitting in a puddle of toilet water after a satisfying dunk: Priceless.)

**22. When you see an insect, either kill it or capture it and release it outside.**

(Bugs freak me out quite a bit.)

(I can stare down a raging, cannon blazing, storming Ironhide, but I can't pick up a teensy tiny spider and take it outside.)

(And bugs usually have a way of sneaking up on me in ways that a Decepticon could only dream of doing.)

(One time, I was simply doing my homework and I felt this tickling feeling on my leg.)

(Thinking it was just a piece of lint, I brushed it off with my other foot.)

(But now the tickling was on that foot!)

(Getting agitated, I looked under the table at my feet and what do I see?)

(This huge aft spider crawling up my leg!)

(So naturally I start spazzing out and screaming like kid and scrambling away from the table, shaking my foot around like a madman and generally making enough noise to wake the living dead.)

(Or at least enough noise to wake a couple Autobots from their much needed recharge.)

(Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Optimus Prime himself, come storming into my room to see what the heck I was screaming about.)

(They were less than pleased to find out that it was just a spider.)

(Without a word and only a few heated glares in my direction, Bumblebee and Optimus merely turned and left to go back and recharge.)

(Ironhide and Ratchet, however, stayed just long enough for 'Hide to shoot the spider with his cannon and leave a smoldering hole in my floor, and for Ratchet to swing at me with his handy-dandy wrench.)

(Thus causing me to yelp in surprise and topple backwards out of my chair.)

(All this over a little spider.)

**23. Do not send E-Mails to Soundwave.**

(I had only heard about the Decepticon spy in space.)

(It seems to me that he would be terribly bored and lonely up there.)

(So I decided to send him a couple messages!)

(Anonymous of course.)

(It didn't occur to me that Soundwave could track where the E-Mails were being sent.)

(I'm now in some serious trouble and I'm locked in my room…)

(While the rest of the base fights off the Decepticon attack that suddenly appeared on our doorstep.)

(Others are busying themselves with trying to purge the system of my E-Mails as if they were never sent.)

(Guess Soundwave didn't want to be pen pals…)

**24. Do not sign Ironhide up for anger counseling.**

(I thought that his anger issues were becoming a serious problem.)

(So I signed 'Hide up for the next Dr. Phil show.)

(I didn't tell 'Hide where we were going as I drove him to the set.)

(I told him it was a surprise.)

(He actually believed me!)

(After driving Ironhide to the set and dropping him off, I hitched a ride from Bumblebee, who was also in on my plan.)

(We drove home…and waited for the magic to happen.)

(When the live showing of the Dr. Phil episode aired and introduced their guest, Ironhide, they didn't comment on his strange name.)

(They sure as heck commented on the fact that he was a giant alien robot!)

(Mass. Mayhem.)

(To his credit, Dr. Phil did try and correct and counsel Ironhide and his apparent anger issues while 'Hide himself did all he could to level the set with his cannons.)

(This was all happening while the government tried to shut the program down so that there would be very few witnesses.)

(I'm just a huge headache to everyone.)

**25. Paint is an art supply. Not a prank tool.**

(Skids and Mudflap were complaining that they were bored.)

(I fixed that problem right away.)

(The next morning, both of the Chevy twins woke up to find that they had bright purple Decepticon symbols painted all over their 'Bot forms.)

(Ironhide took great pleasure in hunting down the poor twins and trying to shoot them.)

(He wasn't aiming to kill or seriously injure.)

(I think.)

(Skids and Mudflap have yet to find out that it was me who livened up their day by making them run for their lives from a Decepticon hunting Ironhide.)

(If they knew it was, they would have thanked me.)

(Or chased me down, weapons drawn, while cussing me out in Cybertronian.)

**26. Keep your car air accessories to yourself.**

(Especially those tree shaped air fresher things.)

(Not that the inside of the 'Bots alt modes stink or anything.)

(It's just that they're so…boring.)

(So I stopped by this car place that sold all kinds of things to trick your ride out with.)

(Pretty sure the Autobots wouldn't appreciate me coming at them with decals.)

(And I can't see Optimus rolling out onto the battlefield with one of those smiley face radio antenna heads on.)

(So I settled with the cardboard cutouts of fresh smelling goodness.)

(I picked a variety of scents and distributed them all throughout the Autobots.)

(Some 'Bots liked them. Others ripped them out only seconds after I put them in.)

(They didn't last long anyway.)

(As soon as the Autobots transformed into 'Bot mode, the little scent hanging things got all shredded up during the transformation process.)

(At least I tried.)

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><p>And there you go! Chapter 5! Were any of these horrible? Stupid? OOC? Just let me know by dropping me a line by hitting that little review button down there if you have the time! Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

I never know what to say in these things. People just glaze over them anyway. I know for a fact because I myself do it often. *hangs head* Anyway! Thank you all soooo much for the reviews, alerts, and all that stuff! This story is way more popular than I thought it would be and I hope that it makes you laugh at least once! That's my goal! If any of these Rules are stupid, OOC, or anything else that just plain annoys you, feel free to tell me by dropping me a review! Also, I'm going to reply to all the reviews soon. I'm such a lazy aft...ugh. Now onto the disclaimer!

Disclaimer:

Me: I might as well not even say it. I know what's going to happen. Some random Autobot will come bursting in and once again make me say out loud that I'm just a penniless loser who can only afford to fantasize about owning something so epic.

*utter silence*

Me: What? …No Autobot interruptions today? Have I been forgotten? Am I finally allowed to say that I do own the Transformers with out being threatened or harmed in anyway to get me to tell the truth?

*utter silence*

Me: Wow! I guess I am alone! I can finally say without fear of bodily harm that I do in fact own something! HEY WORLD! GUESS WHAT! I OWN THE-! *is tackled by Wheelie* Gah!

Wheelie: Thought you were gonna get away with it didn't ya nerd girl?

Me: Who..? Wha…? NERD GIRL!

Wheelie: Yeah. Da Autobots were all busy kickin' Decepticon aft. So's they sent me to keep ya from doin' somethin' stupid. You weren't doin' anything stupid were ya? *points his mini weapons at me*

Me: I'm not scared of a little shrimp like you. *crosses arms*

Wheelie: I was hopin' you'd say that. *fires a couple rounds into my leg*

Me: AUGH! Why in the frag did you DO that! *hops around, clutching leg in agony*

Wheelie: I'm just gonna do it again until you fess up nerd girl.

Me: ALRIGHT! STOLETHESPIDER DOES NOT OWN THE TRANSFORMERS! NOW WHERE ARE THE BAND-AIDS! *hops off*

Wheelie: *blows smoke off of weapons* Mission accomplished.

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><p><strong>27. Simmons does not appreciate 'Your Mama' jokes.<strong>

(These just remind everyone about Simmons' current living arrangements.)

(When confronted about said living arrangements, Simmons gets all defensive.)

(Not because he still lives with his mother or anything.)

(Because his mother lives with him.)

(Totally different scenarios.)

(*rolls eyes*)

**28. Don't comment about Epps' throwing skills.**

(He was under fire and immense pressure.)

(I wouldn't have been able to throw that smoke canister any farther than he did.)

(That doesn't stop us from teasing him about it.)

(Especially with little wimpy noises and dramatic flailing.)

(Epps tried out his throwing skills again with us as the targets.)

(In reality, Epps is a really good shot.)

(I have the bruises to prove it.)

**29. Jolt is not a recharge station.**

(In my defense, I didn't mean to make a habit out of it.)

(I kept forgetting to charge my phone the night before.)

(Being that lazy aft that I am, I politely asked Jolt to do a quick recharge on it.)

(With the promise of a fresh cube of energon later as payment.)

(Turns out, it wouldn't be the first time that I asked him to do this.)

(Maybe the twentieth or the thirtieth.)

(Jolt was getting pretty tired of me asking.)

(So this time, instead of charging my phone, he just short-circuited it and blew it to pieces.)

(As I stood above the smoking pile of scraps that used to be my phone, I regretted asking so many times.)

(At least Jolt didn't short circuit me.)

(Though I'm pretty sure he wanted to step on me.)

**30. Retire costume accessories with their respective costumes.**

(I had bought red colored contacts to go with my Megatron Halloween costume.)

(I really liked them so I decided to wear them on the occasional off day.)

(Turns out that they freak out some 'Bots.)

(Especially a certain weapons specialist.)

(The Autobots all freaked out and thought that I had switched loyalties to the Decepticons.)

(So they naturally started shooting at me,)

(Again.)

(It took me three hours of dodging, hiding, and shouting along with one pair of ripped contacts to finally get the 'Bots to understand that I had not, in fact, switched sides to join the Decepticon cause.)

(I really need to stop putting my life in danger.)

**31. Don't fall asleep while riding inside Sideswipe.**

(Being the speed demon he is, he choose his particular alt form for a reason.)

(Everyone has been told to be on a constant watch of him because apparently the cops have memorized his license plates number.)

(He even has his own little collection of speeding tickets.)

(I think a couple are from Barricade…)

(So now, whether your driving or not, if your near 'Sides, watch the speedometer.)

(I was keeping this in mind as Sideswipe drove me to school one day.)

(But school starts way to early for me and I was insanely tired.)

(I admit that I dozed off a bit.)

(Okay. I'm lying. I completely conked out.)

(Sideswipe took this as an open invitation and floored it.)

(The speed limit was forty and Sideswipe was going at least a hundred.)

(A nearby cop pulled 'Sides over to find me asleep in the drivers seat and the engine purring in a way that sounded almost like smug chuckling.)

(I don't now what happened, because I was still asleep, but all I know is that we didn't get a speeding ticket from that cop.)

(I can only imagine what Sideswipe did to get out of that ticket.)

* * *

><p>That's it for Rules 27-31! We're they funny? Annoying? Dry? Anyhoo. Drop me a review and let me know what you think please! Also, if you see any spelling andor grammar mistakes then feel free to point them out to me. Thanks for reading! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Next chapter up! Thanks to all those left reviews! And to the anonymous reviewers I give a huge thank you. I have no way to sending you a 'Thank You' through PM so I'm just gonna say thank you to you all here. Thank You! :D Now. Onto more pressing matters. I hope that this story makes you laugh at least once! That's my goal! If any of these Rules are stupid, OOC, or anything else that just plain annoys you, feel free to tell me by dropping me a review. Now onto the disclaimer!

Me: I'm sick of these verbal beatings! The daily breaking of my spirits! The constant let downs! I give up! *slumps to floor, defeated.*

Jazz: Finally. You were really startin' to get annoying. Your bein' a tad to overdramatic. I can't even hear my music over your shouting. *continues to jam to music*

Me: You Autobots are all as cold as the metal your made of. Have you no Spark? These are my dreams were talking about!

Jazz: We're not cold. We have heating systems.

Me: …Not funny.

Jazz: Yes it is. You were just too busy wallowing in self pity to laugh.

Me: Fine. Since none of you seem to care, I'll just go off and live the rest of my life as a hermit. I'll buy one dog and name it Po. Then I'll _! *continues to ramble on until Jazz smacks over the head*

Jazz: Primus. That one needs a serious reboot. Getting' a little crazy in the head there. Now. Before I'm interrupted by anything else, StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. Now let me get back to my music.

* * *

><p><strong>32. Wheelie is not a toy.<strong>

(His alt mode may be a toy, but the 'Bot isn't.)

(I couldn't care less about the rules.)

(Wheelie was 'hugging' Mikaela again and I decided to take his punishment into my own hands.)

(With a magic little thing called duck tape, I waited for unsuspecting Wheelie to go into his alt mode.)

(I then proceeded to grab him and tape him up like a neon green mummy.)

(I left his wheels free though.)

(I then went to go find Sarah and Annabelle.)

(It was my turn for babysitting duty.)

(Seeing as how there were no toys for Annabelle to play with on hand at the base, I improvised.)

(Wheelie played with Annabelle all day.)

(He put up with her drool, being bashed and smashed around, her smells, and didn't try to transform and escape into 'Bot mode once.)

(Though being encased in duck tape didn't help the matter in the slightest.)

**33. The Autobots have no need to practice the fire drill.**

(I thought it was a handy piece of human safety knowledge.)

(I got all the 'Bots together and started teaching them about fire and how it can be dangerous to humans.)

(Ratchet seemed particularly interested in the effects of burns on the skin.)

(Ratchet's weird about that kind of medical stuff.)

(Sideswipe commented on how we were to slow and stupid to run away from the fire.)

(Apparently to him we're all distracted by the 'pretty sparkly flames'.)

(Everyone was getting off subject so I went straight to the safety drills.)

(Getting down on the floor to demonstrate, I did the classic stop, drop, and roll technique.)

(Sideswipe was barely containing his laughter.)

(Along with the rest of the Autobots.)

(But now it was their turn.)

(Coaxing them all to pretend like their mechanical limbs were on fire, I got some 'Bots to stop, drop, and roll.)

(Optimus, ever the team player, even ordered some of his mechs to do it just to appease me.)

(In the end, my little fire safety meeting was cruelly cut short by Leo running past us with his hair on fire.)

(Skids and Mudflap strike again.)

(Ratchet, seemingly taking my lesson to heart, proceeded to slam Leo down on the ground and roll him around like a rolling pin.)

(I think he broke a couple of Leo's ribs!)

**34. You are not a Sorcerer.**

(It all started with my class ring.)

(Somehow, Wheeljack had done it up to where the thing actually shot plasma bolts!)

(I won't ask how he did it and I don't think I want to know.)

(But for the rest of the day I ran around the base screaming 'DIE MORGANIAN!' and shooting random mechs and humans.)

(But all that is good must come to an end sometime and my ring finally ended up like most of Wheeljack's experiments.)

(In a smoking pile because of spontaneous combustion and/or explosion.)

(Dang. That ring cost a lot of cold hard cash.)

(Galloway seemed smug that my caster had blown up.)

(I kicked him in the shin with my pointy shoes and ran.)

**35. You are not a superhero.**

(I was determined.)

(And random.)

(And a little crazy.)

(But we all knew that already.)

(I had 'borrowed' one of the flight suits that the N.E.S.T operatives used.)

(Donning it, I dubbed myself 'Flying Squirrel Girl' and climbed up to the roof of the base.)

(I screamed by battle chitter for the world, and the watching Autobots and humans, to hear…and then I jumped.)

(All I have to say is that A. Those suits are harder to fly than I thought.)

(B. I have no regrets…except that I didn't get to duck tape Sam, or Ratchet, to the ceiling.)

(And C. I would like to confess that it was me who posted the video of Leo doing the 'Macarana' on YouTube.)

(It was so worth it.)

(As I was waiting for my life to flash before my eyes…Ironhide caught me.)

(Very rough landing but who's complaining?)

(Now I can fulfill my dream of duck taping SOMETHING to the ceiling!)

**36. Do not insist that your car is a Transformer in disguise.**

(The 'Bots got tired of chauffeuring me everywhere.)

(So they all insisted that I get my own car.)

(They even put some money foreword to help with the down payment.)

(I have no idea where they got the human money…)

(But I am now the proud owner of a completely inanimate hunk of metal.)

(…)

(Who am I kidding? No car compares to the Autobots!)

(So, out of spite, I have named my hunk of lifeless metal, I MEAN CAR, and pretend that it is a Decepticon spy.)

(I even introduced it to the Autobots.)

"Hey guys. Yeah. About that car thing? Meet Hunkajunk. Don't let the name deceive you and don't underestimate him. He's a cold stone killer and a Decepticon spy to boot. Now. Who wants Cheetos?"

(I then drove Hunkajunk off the base like Megatron himself was on Hunkajunk's bumper.)

(I wish I could have seen their faces.)

(I bet they were classic!)

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><p>There's Rules 32-36! Were they good? Terrible? Please let me know by leaving me a review by hitting that little button down there! Thanks for reading! :D See you in Chapter 8!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

I procrastinate wayyyyyy to much. I have slag loads of work that needs to be done and not enough time to do it! But I'm getting my 'Just Desserts' or whatever it's called. Karma and all that. *shrugs* I could care less. Anyhoo! This is me skipping over what needs to be done for a few seconds to post this up! It was major hurried so I don't expect you guys to find any of these funny at all. Ugh. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier! Also, I still need to respond to all the reviews! Getting to that! T^T Finally, thank you for all the alerts, favorites, reviews, and stuff! They make my day every time I look in my Inbox! :D This one is for you guys! P.S About the disclaimer…Skids and Mudflap…I CAN NOT for the life of me write their slang. Beware!

Noella50881 gets all the credit for giving me the idea about Rule #40 by bringing up 'Sides and his germ issues! :)

Jessie07 get all the credit for Rule #38 by reminding me about poor, wittle, forgotten Mirage! :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *is writing furiously in corner*

Skids and Mudflap: *walk in and see me in the corner* Whaz you doin' Nerd Girl?

Me: *whips head up glares daggers at Chevy Twins* That nickname. Where did you hear it? Tell me!

Mudflap: Wha 'chu gettin' so worked up for? It's jus a nickname!

Me: TELL ME NOW! *rage*

Skids: *mutters to Mudflap* Someone needs somma that confertin' food or whateva them chicks need.

Mudflap: *nods furiously*

Me: I HEARD THAT! *throws down writing pad and stomps toward the Chevy Twins and hisses* Your gonnna be scrap metal when I'm done with you!

Skids and Mudflap: *quickly backpedal* Wha! Das stupid! You can't touch us cause you don' even own us!

Me: SO WHAT IF I DON'T?

Skids: Well...Tha' gives us permission to do this! *shoots net at me*

Me: Gah! *is entangled* What's this for!

Mudflap: You's has to say you don' own us an' then we'll let ya go! *fist bumps Skids* Nice shoot bro.

Me: *glowers at the Twins* 'Hide and Prime put you up to this. *sighs* Fine. I, StoleTheSpider, do not own the Transformers.

Skids: She's got a weird name bro.

Mudflap: Das 'cause she's a nerd! *fist bumps Skids again*

* * *

><p><strong>37. It <em>really<em> isn't a good idea to pretend that your car is a Transformer.**

(Remember Hunkajunk?)

(Yeah. He disappeared for awhile.)

(I suspect that it was the same mech who stole Reptile.)

(I got my definite answer one quiet day at base.)

(Bumblebee came up to me with a smirk on his faceplates.)

(He used his radio to tell me that the Autobots would like a meeting with me.)

(The meeting ended up being in the weapons range.)

(And in the middle of the range…was Hunkajunk.)

(Ironhide saw me first and sent a devious smile my way.)

"We caught your little spy friend alone and decided to question him. He wouldn't spill even after Ratchet went at him with his wrench. So we decided to offline him. Say hasta la vista to your little spy friend."

(I then watched in horror as 'Hide and the rest of the 'Bots open fired on my poor little Hunkajunk.)

(Within seconds, Hunkajunk was reduced to a smoking pile of scrap metal.)

(I was starting to get a little attached to the plain old car.)

(Now the Autobots had blown it to smithereens.)

(And they seemed awfully pleased about it.)

(It was as if they actually believed that I was stupid enough to bring an actual _Decepticon spy_ to the _Autobot base_.)

(...I don't want to know if they did.)

**38. You are not the Master of Death.**

(Wheeljack and I had finally given up on trying to make a working invisibility cloak.)

(This was mostly because all the prototypes kept blowing up in my face.)

(We had just about given up on ever being the Masters of Death when we saw it.)

(Or rather…him.)

(Mirage. We had totally forgotten about Mirage.)

(We were all in the Med Bay after a particularly nasty Decepticon battle.)

(Ratchet, as usual, was trying to be in twenty places at once, and his patience was wearing thin.)

(The Chevy Twins were being more of a hindrance than a help.)

(Ratchet's wrench hand twitched more than once in their direction until he finally snapped and hurled his wrench at the Twins.)

(Skids, as if sensing danger, ducked just as soon as the wrench flew over his head and right at the passing Mirage.)

(Mirage just barely avoided getting a huge dent in his helm and quickly turned invisible and ducked out of the room before any more items were thrown at him.)

(At least I think he did.)

(I was to busy gleefully chuckling and rubbing my hands together as soon as I saw Mirage turn invisible.)

(I finally had all the components to be the Master of Death!)

(Now all we have to do is stea-, I mean borrow, them!)

(Mirage, Optimus' sword, and the Matrix…they'll be easy to steal!)

**39. Do not hack into websites.**

(After everything that's happened, Leo and Simmons still have their dinky internet sites.)

(They have been getting a lot of hits and feed lately because of all the recent Transformer sightings.)

(Most of those sightings were because of me, not gonna lie.)

(Ironhide and Dr. Phil for example.)

(So I figured that gave me a one way pass to sorta just…hack…into their sites.)

(They totally owe me!)

(On Leo's site, I posted yet another video of Leo dancing alone in his room.)

(This time is was to 'Thriller'.)

(I never knew Leo knew all the moves…)

(On Simmons' site, I posted a video of a regular day at his momma's meat store.)

(It's basically filled with Simmons arguing.)

(Simmons arguing with his momma, with his customers, with his fellow employees, etc.)

(I even think I saw him arguing with a piece of meat hanging off a hook.)

(The sites got quite a few more reviews when I was finished with them.)

(When Leo and Simmons confronted me about the site changes, I blamed Soundwave.)

**40. Just listen to Sideswipe. Please.**

(I wouldn't.)

(I would not wear that stupid protective suit.)

(You might think, 'Oh! That's sweet! Sideswipe wants to protect you!'.)

(Uh-uh.)

(Sideswipe wants to protect himself.)

(The 'suit' is basically a sleeping bag, with a hood, and a thick black mesh covering for my entire face.)

(Sideswipe doesn't want any of my nasty human fumes, liquids, or anything else from our 'nasty, fleshy, squishy human bodies' touching his precious alt-mode interior.)

(Primus. He's such a germaphobe.)

(He only gives me the occasional ride to school because I SOMETIMES let him break the speed limit.)

(What Optimus doesn't know won't kill him.)

**41. Don't point any type of gun at Dutch.**

(It doesn't matter what type of gun it is.)

(I could be a toy gun, pop gun, water gun, or a real gun.)

(Dutch's reaction will always be the same.)

(An immediate smack down.)

(His eyes get all hard and killer and then he lunges at you faster than a freakin' ninja and tackles you to the ground.)

(Then Dutch knocks the gun out of your hands and turns it against you.)

(He'll stand there, aiming the gun at you, before his eyes finally glaze over for a second and he comes back to Earth.)

(But that's only if your lucky.)

(More often than not, Simmons needs to be called to speak the secret password or whatever to bring nice Dutch back.)

(After nice Dutch is back, Dutch'll help you up with frequent apologies and defenses that that 'was the old me' and all that jazz.)

(This experience with Dutch taught me to never take bets from Sam.)

(Ten bucks was not worth it.)

(I think Leo caught my butt being handed to me on video.)

(If he even goes near a computer with that feed, I'll sic Dutch on him!)

* * *

><p>Sorry if all these were lame as Hades and boring to boot. I tried to shorten up the Rules a bit because I noticed them getting longer and longer…For that I am sorry! Thanks again for reading and hopefully the next chapter of Rules are funnier! Also, if you leave me an idea for a Rule in a review or a PM, I promise to try and use it in the Fic. I might tweak it a bit so tell me in advance if you don't want me to tweak it! I can send you a rough draft of the Rule if you want me to. I will also leave credit for the Rule you gave me the idea for in the beginning of the chapter. :) Thank for reading and feel free to review!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

A big huge Devastator sized thank you to everyone who left a favorite, alert, or review to this story! You guys are also awesome with the ides! Sometimes Rules are slow coming to mind and your ideas gave me all new ones! The Rules you guys gave are epic! Make me laugh, they do! XD I promise to use all of them. Sorry if my tweaking annoys you. Feel free to tell me. Now. Onto the Disclaimer.

Disclaimer:

Prowl: *walks past with datapad in hand, completely focused on it*

Me: *jumps out of nowhere and screams* BOO!

Prowl: *without looking up, shoots Nerf bullets at my face*

Me: *quickly dodges* Ha! Can't pull that kind of stuff on me again!

Prowl: *sighs and puts down datapad* Do we really have to do this right now? I have important matters that need to be dealt with.

Me: I don't care. I WILL WIN THIS ROUND! *lunges at Prowl's datapad*

Prowl: *rolls eyes and shoots more Nerf bullets* No, you won't. Now would you be ever so kind as to say why exactly your here?

Me: No. Because I'm stubborn.

Prowl: That much is obvious. Now before I get irradiated, say the words. *pulls weapons out of subspace and aims them at me*

Me: *glowers* Drama Queen. *cowers at Prowl's glare* Fine. You win. Primus forbid I win sometimes. StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. There. Happy?

Prowl: *smirks, picks up datapad, and walks away*

* * *

><p><strong>Rule 42. Don't ask the Autobots where babies come from.<strong>

(Little Annabelle asked me during my shift in babysitting.)

(Sensing I could have some fun with this, I feigned ignorance and asked the surrounding Autobots.)

(Ironhide Googled it, and when he got the results, pointed his cannons at me.)

(When I asked Bumblebee, he put his face mask down super fast and played a couple Slipknot albums to drown me out.)

(Guess he got to much info when he looked up information about humans while starting out as a guardian.)

(When Optimus was asked, he got a little nervous and shuffled his feet a bit before directing us to Ratchet.)

(Ratchet showed his medical knowledge powers and gave Annabelle and I a very VERY lengthy speech on the human body, how it works, the parts involved in making babies, and anything else you could think of.)

(I had to cover Annabelle's ears for most of it!)

(I regret asking now and I booked it outta there with Annabelle as soon as Ratchet was finished.)

(Hopefully Sarah doesn't find out what we've been letting her child hear!)

**43. Don't compare Skids and Mudflap to Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.**

(They will take you seriously.)

(With much cackling and fist bumps between them, the Chevy Twins went to work.)

(They built a boxing ring outside the base with bleachers to match.)

(Skids temporarily changed his alt-form color from green to blue.)

(They posted fliers of their upcoming match everywhere.)

(Epps was wrangled into being the boxing referee.)

(Bets were passed around for which Twin would take the other down first.)

(On the count of three…the match began…and lasted for quite a bit.)

(Ironhide commented that if the Twins put this much effort into their actual work then they'd be halfway decent to have around.)

**44. Don't play the Volkswagen punchies game with the 'Bots.**

(Sam and I convinced 'Bee to change his alt form for a day.)

(We then took a drive with 'Bee in his new shiny Volkswagen alt form.)

(We made sure to hit the heavily populated areas.)

(As soon as people started laying eyes on 'Bee, the fun started.)

(People started punching their friends, or in some cases complete strangers, and yelling out 'YELLOW ONE!'.)

(The looks on some of the peoples' faces that were getting punched!)

(We now make this drive around a weekly thing, hitting a different place every week.)

**45. Don't switch Optimus' truck horn for a train one.**

(I did it without him knowing.)

(Which was nearly impossible in itself.)

(The next time Optimus went to honk his horn on the road, he got the shock of his life.)

(Along with the unfortunate people driving next to him.)

(A couple of people swerved into other lanes!)

(Luckily there were no injures or crashes to the drivers.)

(Myself, on the other hand, suffered a week in the brig.)

**46. You are not a zombie.**

(I absolutely hate getting out of bed in the morning.)

(To express my hatred for it, I decided to get a little theatrical.)

(I covered my face with flour, lined my eyes with kohl, and smeared some fake blood on my cheeks and neck.)

(When my ensemble was complete, I shambled out of my room and went in search of the Autobots.)

(Seeing them all in the common room, I shambled in and moaned, really hamming it up.)

(The 'Bots froze for about half a second before acting.)

(Ratchet was the worst, mainly because he tackled me and hauled me off to the Med Bay faster than the speed of light.)

(He held me for Two. Weeks. while he studied me with millions of tests and such.)

(He wouldn't even let me go when I wiped off the makeup and proved to him that I wasn't a member of the living dead.)

(Optimus visited me while I was being help captive and said that he hoped that this little experience would encourage me to get up faster in the morning.)

(He didn't even try to get me out of the Med Bay!)

**47. Christine is not a Decepticon.**

(Nor is she real.)

(Or is she?)

(I asked Ratchet what she/it was when I was watching the movie one day.)

(Ratchet just simply studied the car on the screen for a few moments before chuckling darkly to himself and walking away.)

(Getting worried, I chased Ratchet down and demanded an answer.)

(I never got one.)

(Just a broken DVD of Christine for my trouble.)

* * *

><p>Welp. That's it. Shorter than the previous chapters. Were they funny? Horrible? Boring? OOC? Lame? Make sure to tell me if you have rime by hitting that little review button down there! :D See you in the next chapter!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry! I have not had Internet access. That's why I haven't been able to update in so long! Has it been long...IDK. I can't remember how often I update. It felt like a long time to me anyway. I was having panic attacks about this story. While my Internet was down I was writing more Rules so that's a plus. As for Rules you guys have given me, I have a pre-written list of the Rules and I'm coming up on the Rules you guys have given me! So please don't be offended that you haven't seen your Rule in here yet! It's coming. I promise!

Noella50881 gets all the credit for Rule #52 by giving me the epic Rule about Jazz and his jams.

Disclaimer:

Me: *twitches and nurses a cup of coffee*

Ratchet: What did I tell you. No one ever listens to the Medic. Now look at you, you stupid human, you've got yourself addicted.

Me: *twithes and sips coffee* Shaddup Hatchet. Coffee is good and nothing bad can possibly happen to me now that I'm drinking it. *continues to twich*

Ratchet: *glares at me then snatches my coffee*

Me: H-Hey! That's my caffeinated goodness! Give it back!

Ratchet: No. This stuff is doing nothing good for your system. And your starting to get hyper.

Me: What? NoI'mnot! Whatareyoutalkingabout! *taps foot furiously on the ground* Nowgivememycoffeeback!

Racthet: Primus help us...

Me: Heyguys! Guesswhat! *runs off* IDON'TOWNTHETRANSFORMERS! MWHAHAHAH!

* * *

><p><strong>48. Don't sell the Chevy Twins on Ebay.<strong>

(I was running low on cash.)

(I also already had a huge pile of IOU'S for Sam and Leo for taxi fees and such.)

(But that was because I didn't have a car anymore.)

(Who do I have to thank for that?)

(So I needed a way to rack up the cash fast.)

(Ebay was calling.)

(I figured that no one would miss the Chevy Twins very much.)

(Just as soon as I put them up for sale, the government realized what I was doing and tore the site apart trying to take my sale down.)

(It worked, but not before I got a decent amount of bids on the Twins!)

(To bad I couldn't accept them…)

**49. Pillow fights are messy.**

(Not those new pillows that just have cotton stuffing in them.)

(No. I'm talkin' about feather stuffed pillows. Real feathers.)

(Prime pillow fighting weapons.)

(Armed to the teeth with said pillows, Leo, Sam, Mikaela, and I snuck up on the unsuspecting 'Bots…)

(And attacked with pillow fighting fury!)

(Feathers went everywhere.)

(The 'Bots never knew what hit them.)

(You can still tell which 'Bots we attacked with pillows just by watching them walk.)

(Pillow attacked 'Bots molt feathers from their gears.)

**50. Barney is not an authorized punishment.**

(Though it is highly effective.)

(Optimus didn't understand how a purple dinosaur could have such an effect on people.)

(I made him watch an episode.)

(He understands everything now.)

(He understands so much, that I'm gonna have to find a new Barney tape.)

(Someone blew up the last one.)

(Optimus has newfound respect and awe for Annabelle.)

(Pretty much because she watches Barney without screaming in horror or agony.)

**51. Spells are not real.**

(I just wanted to try one out.)

(Pushing my sleeves up, I started.)

"Sunshine. daisies, butter mellow,

Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!"

(For the 'Sunshine' part, I sarcastically pointed at 'Hide.)

(I had Sideswipe crumple up a bunch of daisies to throw.)

(The last lines consisted of me grabbing a stick of semi melted butter and waiting for Galloway.)

(When I saw him, I screamed the very last line and threw the butter at him.)

(Galloway is a skinny twig, but he must have been stupid and ratty enough...)

(Because his clothes turned a pretty butter yellow color.)

(On the other hand, his face went an ugly beet red shade.)

**52. Just let Jazz jam.**

(I was trying to do my homework in my room.)

(Suddenly, all I can hear is Jazz and his booming music through the wall.)

(I couldn't even hear myself think!)

(I became angry and yelled at Jazz to turn it down.)

(This wasn't a good idea, because all Jazz did was crank his music louder.)

(In the end, I had to leave the base to finish my homework.)

(Lesson of the day: Don't start a music war with Jazz.)

(He can crank his music louder than you could ever hope to.)

(Optimus is the only one who can get him to turn it down.)

* * *

><p>And that's it! Sorry again for the unexpected delay. Hope you all laughed at least once! Thanks for the reviews! Make my day, they do! I was freaking out the most about you readers while I was lacking Internet. It was killing me not to update. So sorry...T^T. Anyhoo! Happy Thanksgiving! :D Gobble Gobble...<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks to all you readers and reviewers! Even if you don't leave a review, thanks for reading! The reviews are epic and the ideas you guys give are great! Thanks! P.S. I'm not to familiar with Gen 1 'Bots so if anything seems OOC, let me know. Transformers Wiki is amazing. Anyhoo! :D

FantasyAddiction gets all the credit for Rule #55 with Brains being annoying.

My friend gets all the credit for Rule #53 with those stupid sad books.

Moment-Of-Reason gets all the credit for Rules #54 and #56 with a mixture of bubble wrap and knuckle cracking.

Disclaimer:

Me: *says in spooky voice* Oooooooo! Rrreeddd Alleerrrttt! We're coming to get yooouuuu! Ooooo!

Red Alert: WHOZAT! Is this part of a conspiracy! I knew it! They're coming to get me! Show yourself!

Me: Neeevveerrr! Oooooo! We're coming Red Alert! Better watch out!

Red Alert: Agh! Danger! Alert! Someone! We're in danger! *pulls guns out of subspace and open fires*

Me: Agh! What the frag! Red Alert! RED ALERT! IT'S JUST ME! I was playing a prank on you! Stop firing!

Red Alert: Noooo! I can't trust you! You might be working with the enemy! *continues to fire around crazily*

Me: *narrowly avoids getting shot* Gah! Forget this! I'm outta here! *runs away screaming 'I DON'T OWN THE TRANSFORMERS!'*

* * *

><p><strong>53. Don't read books that make you cry.<strong>

(Ever notice how it's always your favorite characters who die?)

(This time it was Fred and Lupin.)

(The Autobots, tired of my Harry Potter obsession, suspiciously asked why I was crying.)

(I was blubbering to much to respond.)

(All I could get out was "He's dead!".)

(Optimus thought I meant Sam.)

('Bee freaked out.)

(The Autobots spent the rest of the day looking for bodies.)

**54. Bubble wrap and Ironhide don't mix.**

(You know that heavy duty bubble wrap that has the huge bubbles on it?)

(I covered the floor in one the base's rooms with it.)

(And waited for my first Autobot victim.)

(When 'Hide walked in and stepped on the paper, the bubbles popped and sounded like guns.)

(Or at least to 'Hide they did.)

(It was hilarious watching 'Hide run around, trying to get out of what he thought was the line of fire.)

(He only managed to pop more bubbles, freak out more, and nearly make me die laughing.)

**55. Brains is not your personal laptop.**

(At first Brains was okay with me looking up a few things on his alt mode.)

(But eventually, Brains had had enough.)

(He showed me that by trying to annoy the slag outta me.)

(Like annoyingly singing 'We Are Family' really loud while I was trying to type an essay.)

(Or taking over control so I couldn't use the mouse pad.)

(Or not allowing me to save what I typed to my flash drive.)

(In the end, I got very annoyed and tried to attack Brains.)

(But before I could give him a Swirly, he called Wheelie and the two little 'Bots ganged up on me.)

(Optimus came in later and saw a scene not unlike 'Gulliver's Travels'.)

**56. Don't crack your knuckles around Ratchet.**

(The fraggin' 'Bot may just be looking out for humans.)

(But it's awfully annoying to be strapped down, stiff as a board, in the Med Bay.)

(Just because Ratchet overheard you popping your back in five different ways.)

(He also put a couple soldiers' hands in casts just because they popped their knuckles.)

(After multiple complaints, Optimus finally ordered Ratchet to Google whether or not popping joints was hazardous to one's health.)

(Ratchet doesn't believe the Internet but at least he's stopped strapping people down.)

(Now he just lectures you for hours when he catches you cracking your joints.)

**57. Don't hide 'Bee in a Chevy dealership.**

(There was a Chevy dealership placed conveniently near the base.)

(Sam was running late for school.)

(Mikaela and I had left him a note on where to find 'Bee.)

(Sam rode up to the dealership on his mother's bike and stopped in shock.)

(There were at least 50 different Cameros, in all different colors.)

(Realizing Bumblebee could change his alt mode color, Sam frantically set to work trying to locate his guardian.)

(He never did find him and eventually gave up and rode his mother's bike to school.)

(Sam forgot that Bumblebee could change his alt mode form as well.)

* * *

><p>Sooo..That's it. Annoying? Funny? Totally clinchy and stupid? Please let me know by dropping me a review on your way out! :D Thank for reading! See ya next chapter! :)<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Oh dear…I just now noticed that all the numbering was off on the Rules. I apparently don't know how to count…*faceslap* I don't know if you all noticed but I went back and fixed them all. Sorry about that! And if any of these Rules offend you...Sorry. Just kinda skip over those ones that do. Anyhoo! Onto the disclaimer! :D

Disclaimer:

Bumblebee: *rolls by, blaring Slipknot, and basically being awesome*

Me: *yells* Turn your radio down! Some people are trying to work! *returns to furiously typing on the computer*

Bumblebee: *rolls up and parks in from of me*

Willa: *cell phones buzzes with text message* Wah…? Oh. *fishes phones out of pocket and reads message* "What are you working on?" Finales! Essays! Everything! Now silence yourself. I have to study.

Bumblebee: *plays Slipknot louder and revs engine*

Willa: *reads another text from 'Bee* "Not if I can help it!" Oh come on Bumblebee! My grades are important! *checks phone for message* "Getting sued sounds fun." Sued? Who's gonna…Oh.

Bumblebee: *chirps*

Me: Yah yah yah. Whatever. I, StoleTheSpider, do not own the Transformers. Now let me study!

Bumblebee: *chirps again and speeds off*

* * *

><p><strong>58. Fanfiction is banned.<strong>

(You wouldn't believe a Transformer could blush until you show them a fanfiction site.)

(Optimus seemed to be a popular target, along with 'Bee.)

(No 'Bot can look each other in the optics anymore.)

(The humans on base just share pity filled looks with each other.)

(Until they found out that they are targeted as well.)

(I've never heard so many awkward silences in one day before.)

**59. Don't show Ratchet food documentaries.**

(I had to watch 'Food Inc.' and 'Supersize Me' for Health class.)

(I was so disgusted that I went vegan for a few weeks.)

(Eventually I got an intense craving for meat and devoured at least ten different kinds of fish and animal.)

(Ratchet was seriously concerned for my physical and mental health.)

(He wanted to know how a video could cause such a drastic change in my eating habits.)

(Somehow he found copies of the movies and rented them.)

(He now watches over the resident humans and their food choices and frequently makes us throw out what we were about to eat.)

(He flipped out on Leo a couple days ago just because he brought McDonalds to the base.)

**60. Don't take the Auobots to car shows.**

(Optimus assumed that they'd have fun and maybe even see a fellow Autobot.)

(Chuckling evilly to myself, I encouraged them to go.)

(Soon enough, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Optimus, and Sideswipe were on their way to the nearest car show.)

(They really had no idea what they were in for.)

(As soon as the first car fanatic tried messing around under their hoods, the 'Bots knew something was up.)

('Sides was the first victim, and who can blame the fanatics, he's a Corvette for Primus' sake!)

(As the fanatics were poking around under his hood, Sideswipe let out an indignant squawk and slammed his hood down.)

(He nearly chopped off a couple fingers.)

(After that little incident, along with Ironhide nearly drawing weapons, Optimus decided to call a retreat from the car show.)

**61. Don't use the Autobots to street race for money.**

(Sideswipe was more than happy to help me earn some money by street racing.)

(We challenged a couple punks for pinks in a race.)

(They seemed to think that they were Greaser incarnates; they had the greased back hair and everything.)

(Their ride was more or less a piece of junkyard scrap that they tricked out with a couple stolen car parts and a fancy paint job.)

(Sideswipe and I decided to take their ego for a spin.)

(Long story short: We creamed them.)

(At least I have a ride now, even if it smells like cheap beer and barely gets past 55 mph.)

(Maybe I'll sell it later…or let 'Hide blow it up for fun.)

**62. Ratchet never thinks it's as funny as you do.**

(It was the perfect prank.)

(Wheeljack was really confused.)

(But maybe that's because he was hanging upside down with lots of magnetic Nerf bullets stuck to his helm…)

(And a sticky, gooey, pink substance dripping of his chest plates.)

(Sideswipe and Bumblebee were in on the prank.)

('Sides had set up the prank and waited for Wheeljack to come innocently along.)

(When he did, 'Bee had burst out and shot him in the chest plates with semi melted Silly Putty.)

(I had then rolled out from my hiding spot, aimed my Nerf gun at Wheeljack's helm, and fired.)

(While 'Sides, 'Bee, and I were rolling around laughing at an immoblized Wheeljack, Ratchet came up.)

(After getting the truth from us with his wrench, we didn't even get a chuckle out of him.)

(Just an order to apologize to Wheeljack, clean up the mess, and cleaning duty for the next month.)

* * *

><p>Funny? Long? Stupid? Any spelling mistakes? Please let me know by hitting that little button down there and leaving me a review! They make my day and I'll be sure to respond to the previous reviews soon! Sorry for the late replys. Thanks for reading! Merry Chirstmas and Happy Holidays! :D<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Fast update! Whoot! Hope this makes up for me not updating in so long. Sorry about that. And now! For the disclaimer!

violentluck gets all the credit for Rule #63 with Ratchet being very ticked off about his tools being missing...again.

Disclaimer:

Me: It's really close to Christmas. Don't you guys think you should be nice and let me say that I own you for once? Without the physical beating? That's my Christmas wish.

Optimus: I am sorry little one. That is not possible.

Me: Hmph. No fair. Show a little Christmas spirit! You guys don't hand out presents! At least humor me on this one thing!

Optimus: Hmm...I suppose I can allow you to say that you own us...just this once. Go ahead.

Me: Yay! I OWN THE TRANSFORMERS!...Are you gonna hit me now?

Optimus: No. That is why I have Ironhide.*gestures to 'Hide, who is smirking evilly*

Me: You guys really love crushing my dreams! *runs* I do not own the Transformers! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

* * *

><p><strong>63. Don't hide Ratchet's tools.<strong>

(If you value you life at all.)

(Leo and I thought it would be a funny prank.)

(We wanted to give Ratchet a very late Easter Egg hunt.)

(Ratchet was not amused.)

(More like stark raving PO'd.)

(He's grumpy most days but this was a whole 'nother layer of slag that you don't want to see.)

**64. Laserbeak is not a toy.**

(The Autobots had captured the trigger happy Decepticon...vulture...thing.)

(He was currently being held in the brig under a 24/7 watch.)

(Laserbeak wasn't spilling his guts yet so I decided to help.)

(Making sure his binds were secure before stepping in, I proceeded to pick up Laserbeak…)

(And scream "ANGRY BIRDS!" before throwing him all over the place.)

(I didn't have Laserbeak screaming for mercy and spilling all his Decepticon secrets yet but I think I had given him a concussion.)

**65. Be serious on the battlefield.**

(I saw Sam running away from some Decepticons…again.)

(Feeling mischievous, I shouted out "Run Forest! Run!" to Sam.)

(Sam whipped around and screamed something at me while he was running.)

(I didn't hear him and just continued to cackle madly.)

(Suddenly I felt the cold metal touch of a gun barrel on the small of my back.)

(A Decepticon had snuck up behind me while I was cackling to myself.)

(Guess Sam was yelling out a warning…)

(I had soon caught up with Sam.)

**66. Do not anger Twifans.**

(That new movie had come out and I decided to stir up some trouble.)

(Buying myself a ticket to the opening night at the theater, I smirked to myself as I felt the multiple glares from the fangirls heat up my back.)

(But maybe that's because I was dressed up as Voldemort.)

(When the movie started, the moment I laid eyes on Edward, I stood up and screamed "KILL THE SPARE!" and fired my custom Wheeljack made wand at the screen.)

(I had no idea what the wand was supposed to do, Wheeljack hadn't told me, so I had the slag scared out of me when an actual green laser was fired at the screen.)

(The screen started on fire and I booked it out of the theater before I was attacked.)

(Not by the staff or the cops, but by the fan girls!)

**67. Trampolines and Autobots don't mix.**

(Wheelie was having the time of his life.)

(He was jumping higher than I ever thought he could.)

(Brains tried out the trampoline for a couple minutes, but then he got motion sick and jumped off.)

(Wheelie and I were making quite a bit of noise.)

(Ratchet, thinking I was tormenting the poor 'Bot again, came to investigate.)

(What he saw was Wheelie and I making fools of ourselves on the trampoline.)

(I insisted that Ratchet try the trampoline and Ratchet took me seriously.)

(He put on foot on the trampoline…and it broke through.)

(Houston…we have a busted trampoline.)

* * *

><p>Sorry Twifans. I couldn't help myself on Rule 65. Anyhoo! Thanks for reading! Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! See you next chapter! :D<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

I hope my readers haven't given up on me. I really don't mean to put this much space between my updates. The good thing is that I get such an itch to post that I put aside everything just to post a new chapter. That's this here. Food can wait! So sorry for he long wait and here's a new set of Rules! :D

violentluck gets all the credit for Rule #68 with Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #70 with cleaning duty and clogged toilets.

Disclaimer:

Me: It's a fresh new year! Let's start it off right with no fighting! *gathers Autobots and Decepticons all together in the same room*

Optimus: Little one...I do not think that this is such a good idea.

Me: Aw come on Optimus! Let's just try this out!

Megatron: *sneers* Yes brother. Let's try this out.

Me: There! See? Megatron gets it!

Megatron: Yes...Let's try...THIS! *lunges forward and slugs Optimus*

Ironhide: THAT'S IT! TAKE SOME OF THIS YOU DECEPTICON SCUM! *barrels forward and tackles Megatron*

Barricade: Finally! I thought we were gonna stand around all day! *dives into the fight*

Brawl: Cannonball! *jumps into fight*

Optimus: *stands beside me, watching the fight* Well. I hope you are happy.

Me: *groans* Yeah...Whoopee. Happy New Year. And I still don't own the Transformers. Yippee.

* * *

><p><strong>68. The 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' song is banned.<strong>

(Sam had unknowingly and unwillingly caused the mayhem when his ringtone went off.)

(Now the Twins won't stop singing it.)

(It was funny the first couple times but after the fiftieth time…it got old.)

(Rrrreeaaallll fast.)

(Ironhide got a nasty twitch in one optic.)

(Ratchet ran out of wrenches to throw.)

(Prowl had taken to wearing earmuffs.)

(We finally got the Twins to clam up by literally throwing peanut butter and jelly bread at them.)

(The Twins' gears were so clogged up with gunk that they could barely move!)

**69. Your not an Energon vampire.**

(Putting on a black bed sheet I found, I slunk around the base.)

(When I came up to an Autobot, I drew the sheet across my face and hissed.)

"I'm an Energon vampire. I vant to siphon your Energon!"

(Everyone laughed at me.)

(Sideswipe asked if I sparkled.)

**70. Do not let the Autobots see a backed up toilet.**

(I love cleaning duty.)

(Cleaning the bathrooms and toilets is just one of the perks.)

(Can you tell that my voice is dripping with sarcasm?)

(Anyway, my toilet cleaning duty came with a nasty little surprise.)

(A clogged up, overflowing toilet.)

(Sideswipe, as punishment for his latest prank, was cleaning right alongside me.)

(When he saw the backed up toilet, Primus, I thought he was gonna offline!)

('Sides swayed a bit, twitched like he was gonna glitch, then ran out of the bathroom like Optimus runs from Barney.)

(Now, if 'Sides is messing around again, all you have to do is mention a stopped up toilet or bathroom cleaning duty to get 'Sides to cower in fear.)

**71. Dingo humor is not funny.**

(I had made an epic little dingo costume.)

(Kinda like the sheep costume that the Wolf wears in the fairy tales.)

(With my new costume on, I snuck over to a relaxing Sarah and Annabelle.)

(With a bark, I jumped around he couch that the mother and daughter were sitting on and grabbed Annabelle.)

(Bumblebee caught on fast. He turned his radio on and blared a woman screaming 'A DINGOES GOT MY BABY!')

(Cackling madly as I ran away, I didn't hear the sound of a gun being loaded.)

(Suddenly a ring of bullets cut my escape off.)

(Standing before me was a very scary looking Lennox, still holding the smoking gun, smiling at me in a very PO'd kinda way.)

(I slowly, carefully put Annabelle down on the ground before I turned tail and ran away with my fake tail between my legs.)

**72. "Brains ate my homework" is not a valid excuse.**

(It was a last minute essay that just so happened to be due this morning.)

(Maybe I procrastinated a bit, but who cares!)

(I practically forced Brains into his alt mode so I cold type.)

(But the little squirt had other ideas.)

(Brains willingly went into his alt mode…)

(But when I went to save my essay so that I could print it later…Brains shut down before I could save.)

(Of course I wasn't saving along the way because of my rush to finish.)

(Screaming hysterically, I turned Brains back on only to find that he had deleted my entire essay.)

(I broke down right there,)

(I was in such hysterics that I didn't notice Optimus come up behind me so that he could tell me that procrastinators never prosper and that he hoped that I have learned my lesson.)

(These life lessons are gonna kill me.)

* * *

><p>And that's it for this Chapter! Good? Bad? Horrible? Funny? Please let me know by leaving a review if you have the time! :) See you next chapter!<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

I am so incredibly happy right now! :D 100 reviews! Oh my Primus! That's so epic! Thank you all so much for reading, and for leaving reviews, and for all the alerts,and for the ideas, and for everything! :D I'm so happy! I'll make sure to get on to responding to all the reviews soon. But for right now here is another chapter for you all in celebration of the one hundred mark! Yay! P.s. BlackHawk98 was the person to leave my 100th review! *showers you with glitter confetti* Thanks!

Prototron MJ Tornada gets all the credit for Rule #73 in which Elmo is always watching...

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #74 for Barbies turning to be not so inanimate.

My friend gets all the credit for Rule #75 in which Sam gets a nifty jacket that lets him hug himself.

Disclaimer:

Me: *walks in*

Prowl: *looks up from datapad and blanches* What...What are you wearing?

Me: Hm? Oh. You mean my earrings? Aren't they cool! They're radishes!

Prowl: Not your earrings. Your shirt. Is that a _Decepticon_ symbol on the front?

Me: Huh? *looks down at shirt* Oh yeah. Yup. It is.

Prowl: Remove that offensive symbol from you clothing at once! Do you want me to call Ironhide in here? As son as he spots that on your shirt he'll blow you to Cybertron and back!

Me: He'd love the excuse to! And no! I'm not changing my shirt! Make me! *runs off*

Prowl: Get back here!

Me: No! Barricade! Save me!

Prowl: He can't! You wanna know why? Because you don't own the Transformers! Now change your shirt! *chases after me*

* * *

><p><strong>73. Elmo is banned. Period.<strong>

(Seeing as how Barney was making more than one Autobot glitch, Sarah had to find another educational show for Annabelle.)

(Sesame Street was her answer.)

(It was acceptable to most of the 'Bots.)

(Until Elmo made an appearance.)

(His grating, nail-on-chalkboard, squeaky, annoying voice combined with his unnatural, unblinking stare freaked out not only Annabelle, but the surrounding Autobots as well.)

(Ironhide solved the problem by doing what is natural for him.)

(Blowing up the T.V.)

(Sideswipe now calls Ironhide 'Oscar'.)

(Oscar the Grouch indeed.)

**74. Don't let Red Alert watch 'Small Soldiers'.**

(Movie night again!)

(This time the movie was 'Small Soldiers'.)

(Some people had told me that it was a scary movie while others had told me that it was not.)

(Deciding to find out for myself, I rented the movie and popped it in.)

(Red Alert, Ironhide, and Bumblebee were curious about the movie as well so they decided to sit down and watch the movie with me.)

(When the movie was over, we all felt totally different about Barbies and Army dolls.)

(Red Alert spazzes out and tries to blast all the dolls he sees to smithereens.)

(It doesn't help that Bumblebee and I leave Barbie and Army dolls lying around everywhere.)

(On the other hand, all of Annabelle's Barbies have mysteriously disappeared.)

(We found one in a pile of blown up bits. Everyone just assumed that it was Red Alert again.)

(Bumblebee and I know better.)

(But that's 'Hide being the overprotective mother hen again.)

**75. Do not sign Sam into a mental ward.**

(Remember when Sam was rambling on and on about the symbols in his head?)

(Leo still remembers Sam's kitten calendar spazz out.)

(With this in mind, I planned my next prank.)

(After describing all that went on with Sam during his little…breakdown, the mental ward doctors eagerly admitted Sam.)

(But there was a little drawback…they admitted me as well…against my will.)

(Now that Sam and I were trapped in the mental ward, we had to call for help.)

(Looking back on it now, Simmons wasn't out best choice. Mostly because he was forcefully admitted as well.)

(We should have seen that one coming.)

(Finally, after much pleading, begging, and favor giving, Lennox was convinced to come and bail us all out.)

(The mental ward doctors were reluctant to let such prime subjects go.)

**76. Blackmail backfires.**

(Hoping to find something to knock old Megsie down a couple robotic pegs, I sought Optimus out.)

(And badgered him with question after question about when Megatron and Optimus were sparklings growing up.)

(Optimus didn't spill one secret about Megatron. Not one dirty little secret.)

(Let down.)

(So I had to seek out…other sources.)

(Mainly Megatron's mechs.)

(I had hoped to draw Barricade out by speeding around town in Sideswipe, but no luck.)

(Ravage was off taking a cat nap or something somewhere.)

(Finally, I had to go to the Decepticon that I wanted to talk to the least of all.)

(Starscream...The Giant Dorito of Doom)

(But Starscream must be more offended by the nickname 'Giant Dorito of Doom' than I thought, because the pretender Lord refused to talk to me.)

(Instead, Starscream shot at me with everything he had.)

(Usually Starscream would jump at the chance to humiliate his Lord.)

(Doritos can be so touchy.)

* * *

><p>That's the end of this set of Rules! Good? Bad? Did they make you laugh? Please help me get to the 200 mark by leaving me a little review! Oh. And if you see any grammarspelling mistakes, feel free to point them out to me. I tend to make them a lot. T^T


	16. Chapter 16

Hey! Another Chapter! You guys ready for this! Whoot! Excuse me. I'm being random. Onto more important things! Thanks for reading, the reviews, the alerts, and for the reviews! They mean a whole lot to me! No joke! :D No! Onto the Disclaimer!

Disclaimer:

Me: I don't have time for this today! Let's just get this over with. I don't own the Transformers. There. Can I go now?

Sideswipe: Wha! That's it! How cowardly! our not gonna put up a fight this time! Your getting boring.

Me: N . I'm not getting boring or giving up. I just don't have time for this whole fight wit hyou guys today. Now I really need to...*tries to walk off, but is stopped by an armblade* Meep!

Sideswipe: *smirks evilly* Your not getting off the hook that easily!

Me: What! Come on! Look! I have to go do something productive! *holds up laptop*

Sideswipe: Oh really? *throws other armblade at laptop and knocks the laptop out of my hand*

Me: ! *gapes at destroyed laptop on the ground*

Sideswipe: *smirks* Looks like your free now!

Me: *glares* Your very much a Decepticon at heart...

* * *

><p><strong>77. Wheelie is claustrophobic.<strong>

(Poor mini 'Bot is still scared from his experience of being shoved into a tiny box and being carted around by Mikaela.)

(We all only just figured this out after a little train ride.)

(The Autobots were on yet another mission and the mini 'Bots had to meet up with them at a later time while the 'Bots went on ahead.)

(I was their guardian, read 'babysitter', for the train ride.)

(The 'Bots weren't allowed in the passenger cars so we had to have them disguised as pets in a dog crate to be put in the baggage car.)

(Brains kept Wheelie calm for awhile, but soon Wheelie started to panic.)

(The guys working on the train didn't know what to make of Wheelie's panicked cries.)

(So they just called me down to the baggage car to calm my 'parrot' down.)

**78. A paper cut is not life threatening.**

(Who knew that being in charge of N.E.S.T involved so much paperwork!)

(I was being Lennox's secretary assistant person for the day to make up for that whole 'dingo' incident.)

(But the work was really boring and my short attention span wasn't letting me sit still.)

(So I had to find a way to spice up the job a bit.)

(Shuffling papers in my hands, I suddenly flung them all up in the air and screamed out in agony.)

(Lennox shot up out of his chair faster than a bullet from a gun and asked what was wrong.)

"I have a paper cut! A horrible one! Augh! The pain! The agony!"

(Lennox rolled his eyes, warned me not to waste time again, and sat back down with a smirk on his face.)

(Ratchet, on the other hand, must have heard my fake scream of pain, because he suddenly charged into the room, picked me up, and rushed me down to the Med Bay.)

(He then ignored my cries of protest and explanations that it was just a paper cut and proceeded to wrap my whole hand up in a cast.)

(Lennox laughs every time he sees it.)

**79. Doing the 'Robot' is offensive.**

(Not only is Sam horrible at doing it…)

(But the Autobots get all offended when they see a person doing it.)

(They start arguing among themselves about how none of them ever movie like that .)

(They could go on for hours.)

(Sam and I explained that it was just a dance move.)

(Jazz got even more offended at that and proceeded to break down into this amazing feat of dance moves.)

(Sam and I were stunned speechless while the Autobots just stood by with smug looks on their faceplates.)

**80. Tasers are not toys.**

(Leo is deathly afraid of Tasers.)

(Especially after his little accident at the National Air and Space Museum.)

(So I decided to mess with him by buying a Taser and bringing it to base.)

(As soon as Leo saw me pull out the Taser and turn it on, he squealed like a little girl, covered his privates, and ran from the room.)

(Ratchet just so happened to see the whole thing.)

(Ratchet actually encouraged me to chase after Leo and give him a good shock in the privates to prevent him from having children.)

(I thought that was kinda mean for Hatchet to say so I jabbed him in the leg with the Taser to get him to apologize.)

(I had totally forgotten that Ratchet actually likes being shocked senseless.)

(His whole incident with the power lines at Sam's house got him addicted.)

(All my Taser did was make Ratchet chuckle happily like it was a pleasant tickle.)

(I sighed in defeat and went to scare the slag outta Leo and Sam instead.)

* * *

><p>Another Chapter done! Yay! So. Anything messed up? Bad spellinggrammar? OOC? Got an idea for a new Rule ? Feel free to let me know by dropping me a review if you have the time! Thanks for reading! See you all next chapter! :)


	17. Chapter 17

Not much to say up here. Lucky you! The only thing I have to say is that I never turn down an idea for a Rule! If you have given me an idea for a Rule, I will make it into a Rule and put it in this Fic! It might not be in this Chapter or in the next Chapter but it will get into the Fic! I promise. Sorry if it takes awhile though. Now! Onto the disclaimer!

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #84 with Pixar being a bad influence.

Disclaimer:

Me: You are at it again! What did you make to torture me with this time?

Wheeljack: I have no idea what you're talking about. *whistles innocently*

Me: Then why are your hands behind your back?

Wheeljack: No reason at all! Why are you always so suspicious? Relax!

Me: I know you guys. I have reason to be worried 24/7.

Wheeljack: *smirks*

Me: You've got that devious look on your face. You only get that look on your face when your experimenting or when...*Ironohide steps out from behind Wheeljack, holding a cattleprod*...your plotting something. Oh snap.

Ironhide: Run squishy. Run.

Me: With pleasure! *scrambles off* I do not own the Transformers!

* * *

><p><strong>81. Do not watch 'Marley and Me' around the Autobots.<strong>

(The beginning and the middle are fine, funny even!)

(It's just that the end gets me every time.)

(When they all say goodbye to Marley…I cry like a baby.)

(The 'Bots who actually sat down to watch the movie with me all looked at me strangely.)

(Ironhide didn't get why I was crying…To him Marley is just another dog that could possibly lubricate on him.)

(Ratchet patted me sympathetically on the shoulder and explained to me with all these scientific health terms about how Marley was at the end of his rope.)

(I figured that all the Autobots were indifferent towards the movie.)

(What I didn't know was that Bumblebee was bawling his optics out in the other room.)

**82. Giving Sam a gym membership is not a good idea.**

(I really didn't know what to get him for his birthday.)

(Seeing as how Sam is always running from stuff…)

(Like Decepticons, me, Ironhide, Dutch with a gun, Decepticons, his parents, Mikaela when she's in a bad mood, Ironhide when he's in a bad mood…you get the picture.)

(So now, with his new membership, Sam can practice running faster and at the same time, buff up a bit.)

(Sam didn't see the reasons behind my gift at all.)

(In fact, he showed me just how fast and just how strong he already was by grabbing one of Ratchet's smaller wrenches…)

(And chasing me down with it.)

(Guess I need the membership more than he does.)

**83. Do not have contests to see who can transform the fastest.**

(It all started because Sideswipe called Ironhide old.)

('Sides also said something to 'Hide about how it always takes him about an hour and a half to change modes because he's so rusted up.)

(Ironhide pulled his cannons out of subspace and pointed them at 'Sides, growling that that wasn't true.)

(Sideswipe chuckled, pulled his arm blades out, and told 'Hide to prove it.)

(In order to prevent a war, I called out a duel between the two.)

(So now here we are, watching the two 'Bots to see who can go from their alt mode to their 'Bot mode the fastest.)

(They were trying to change so fast and really putting stress on their parts.)

(The result is that, somebody call Ratchet!, they're both stuck in the middle!)

(Is that Ironhide's foot by his helm?)

(Ouch. It's like yoga gone wrong.)

**84. Pixar is to be watched in limited amounts.**

('Toy Story' makes Red Alert glitch.)

(Then he usually blows up the T.V.)

('Up' gave Wheeljack bad ideas.)

(It was funny seeing Wheelie float around in a big dollhouse made to fly like the house in the movie.)

(But I got worried when 'Jack said that the dollhouse was a small scale model.)

('Bugs Life' changed the way that the Autobots viewed bugs.)

(Before, the 'Bots would let me stomp the slag outta bugs because of my huge fear of them.)

(But now…they all stop me from even threatening to stomp on one.)

(Something about how bugs have feelings too.)

('Finding Nemo' made Wheelie flush all my fish down the toilet.)

(How the mini 'Bot even managed to fish all the fish out of my fish tank and haul them to the nearest toilet I'll never know.)

(Wheelie's excuse for flushing all my living fish down the toilet was that "All pipes lead to the ocean".)

(They were freshwater fish!)

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><p>There's the end! Funny? Stupid? Totally OOC? Find any grammar spelling mistakes? Feel free to let me know by dropping a review if you have the time! More of your guy's Rules in the next chapter! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Another chapter! Now, if you see anything in here that is OOC, misspelled, grammatically incorrect, just let me know! Oh! And feel free to read my other story about Willa, 'Your Friends With Giant What!', if you have the time. It's my first real stab at writing a story with dialogue and such so constructive criticism is always welcome! :) That's all I have to say for now! Happy reading!

MissShelz gets all the credit for Rule #86 leaving us wondering how much we are not alone.

Charming Cheyenne gets all the credit for Rule #88 with Frenzy playing nice.

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #89 with a poor excuse.

Disclaimer:

Me: Let's keep this short, sweet, and to the point. I don't own you all, and if I try to say differently, you'll hurt me. That it?

Skids: Sounds 'bou right?

Mudflad: Hah! Ya couldn' do nothin' 'bout it anyway.

Me: I beg to differ. I could take you guys down in a heartbeat. *kicks Skids* Come on! Chickens!

Skids and Mudflap: *look at each other, then lunge at Willa* Nobody messes with the Twins!

Me: I'm starting to think that this was a bad idea...*runs away* I don't own the Transformers!

Mudflap: Ge' back here Nerd Girl! Your gonna get some now!

* * *

><p><strong>85. Karaoke is banned.<strong>

(For obvious reasons.)

('Bee was our jukebox while the resident humans somehow got the rest of the Autobots to sing.)

(The Twins broke down and started chanting the 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' song.)

(After a thoroughly wrenching the Twins into silence, Ratchet grudgingly started singing 'It's A Small World' just to annoy the slag out of us.)

(Sideswipe scoffed at the others' singing before stepping up and singing 'I'm To Sexy'.)

(We all dissolved into laughter at the now fuming 'Sides before finally getting 'Hide to sing.)

(With many death stares towards the smirking humans, Ironhide finished our little karaoke session by threateningly belting out 'Highway To Hell' closely followed by 'It's The End Of The World'.)

(After Ironhide's performance, all he got was an awkward and fearful silence.)

(The humans all watch their back for Ironhide now.)

**86. Do not let the Autobots watch 'Men In Black'.**

(I wanted to see if there was any grain of truth to the movies,)

(The Autobots being aliens themselves, I figured that they might recognize some of the aliens in the movies.)

(Even if there was a tiny resemblance.)

(So I gathered as many Autobots as I could into the Rec Room under the pretense of there being another Movie Night, and popped in the movie.)

(I then continued to watch their facial expressions for any sign of recognition.)

(About halfway through the movie, Sideswipe chuckled, nudged Optimus next to him, and said…)

"Hey. That guy looks like that one guy! You know-!"

(But before the wonderfully specific Sideswipe could say anymore, he was silenced by a wrench to the helm, courtesy of Ratchet.)

(Even though I badgered the rest of the 'Bots all week with questions about who 'that one guy' was, I didn't get any answers.)

(But I'm pretty sure Sideswipe wasn't walking about a guy back on Cybertron.)

**87. Brains and Wheelie do not need girlfriends.**

(I figured that it would calm them down a bit.)

(Maybe give Wheelie something to moon over besides Mikaela.)

(Sam definitely approved of my plan.)

(So I came to the base the next day with two long, rectangular boxes under my arm.)

(Calling Wheelie and Brains over, I pulled the boxes out and opened them to reveal…Barbies.)

(Wheelie had a fit, cussed up a storm that was starting to make my ears bleed, before pulling his mini weapons out of subspace and open firing on his Barbie in my hand.)

(Brains was fascinated with his Barbie. In fact, he carried it around with him all day.)

(As Ratchet was pulling out Wheelie's bullets out of my hand, I'm pretty sure I saw Brains tenderly stroking the dolls hair.)

(I'll have to warn Brains to keep his new girlfriend away from Red Alert and Ironhide.)

**88. Frenzy's head is not a toy.**

(After my last visit to Simmons' momma's meat store, I brought home a little souvenir.)

(Frenzy's head.)

(Borrowing Mikaela's makeup kit, I went to work.)

(First, I completely covered Frenzy's head with coverup.)

(Then, I added a little lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, really making Frenzy look like a Prima Donna.)

(Finally, I tipped a table on its side in the Rec Room, grabbed Brains' girlfriend while Brains was in recharge, and put on a little puppet show for Annabelle, the rest of the guys, and the Autobots.)

(Everyone was in stitches until Brains burst in, shot me, grabbed his girlfriend, shot me again for good measure, and booked it.)

(There was a lengthy pause before everyone burst out laughing, even harder than before.)

(I didn't really notice. I was to busy hopping around in agony after having a couple of Brains' bullets put into my thighs.)

**89. "I wanted to see what would happen!" is not a valid excuse.**

(Stay out of Wheeljack's lab.)

(The Autobots were in on of those 'No Organics Allowed' meetings.)

(Bored out of my mind without any Autobots to pester, I sought out some other form of entertainment.)

(And boy did I find one!)

(Wheeljack was experimenting again and had lost track of time.)

(In his rush to get to the meeting in time, 'Jack left his lab open and unlocked.)

(Free for me to wreck mayhem.)

(Walking into the unlocked lab, I looked around and saw all these colorful test tubes and science equipment.)

(Everything was Autobot sized, thus hard to mess with, but I would find a way!)

(Donning a pair of stolen High School safety goggles, I grabbed as many of the colorful beakers I could hold.)

(Seeing as how all the tables and were Autobot sized, I had to work on the floor.)

(As for mixing the ingredients together, I followed the color wheel.)

(Mixing red and yellow chemicals together, I was hoping to get a cool reaction like sparks or something completely random.)

(Instead, I got a huge explosion that nearly blew my head off!)

(The explosion set off the fire alarm, and when Wheeljack and the rest of the Autobots rushed into the lab to see what was going on…)

(They all burst out laughing at the sight of my burned beyond recognition hair and my nonexistent eyebrows.)

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><p>Done! Posted in a hurry, this chapter is so if you see ANY spelling mistakes, please tell me. Grammar mistakes as well! Your doing me a huge favor if you do! Thanks for reading! :D Oh, and I'm not to familiar with makeup. If the stuff in Rule #88 is messed up and wrong, please correct me.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

So I had wanted to have this Chapter up on Friday...but my computer decided to be a Decepticon and spazz out on me and crash a bit. Luckily my work was saved, but it just took me longer to get posted. The good thing is that since I had no time to post, I had extra free time so I now have two Chapters ready for posting. I'm evil though so I'm not going to post the other Chapter until this time tomorrow. Hope you all enjoy this one!

My friend gets all the credit for Rule #90 with 'Hide trying his best to make human pancakes.

BlewItUp gets all the credit for Rule #93 with Sam really needing a chill pill.

Disclaimer:

Me: *walks into room* Pshew! *starts to walk back out* Oh wait. It's just you. How ya been Brains?

Brains: Been good. Been good.

Me: Hmm. You been keeping outta trouble? Staying outta ladies underwear drawers?

Brains: Yeah. Mikaela put a lock on hers so's I can't get into it anymore. Crying shame.

Me: Yeah...So! What're you doing here?

Brains: I'm here on watch. Making sure you don't go lying again. Optimus said so.

Me: Real good job Brains. So. How about this huge bowl of nuts, bolts, and screws to let me get away with lying today?

Brains: Wait. Wait. Gotta let me try one first. *reaches into the bowl and bites the head off of a screw* Yuck.

These taste like they were on sale. You gotta get me the good stuff.

Me: What do you want! Gold ones! Fine. You win. StoleTheSpider owns nothing. Picky picky picky.

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><p><strong>90. Do not teach the Autobots to play 'Red Rover'.<strong>

(I was over with Annabelle again.)

(She was having a play date wit everyone.)

(Which means that she had used her cute toddler looks to wrangle not just me into playing with her.)

(Leo, Sam, Mikaela, Ironhide, and even 'Bee were all suckered into playing with her.)

(Annabelle was in charge of what we were going to play that day, and she just so happened to choose 'Red Rover'.)

(Getting confused looks from the Autobots, the rest of us had to carefully explain how to play.)

('Bee seemed eager, as did 'Hide.)

(I quickly figured out why the latter was so excited.)

(When Annabelle called 'Hide on over…)

(And we all scattered as a huge pair of 'Bot pedes started running toward us, threatening to squish us flat.)

(Play date ended pretty quickly.)

**91. Do not use coarse language around small children.**

(It doesn't even matter if it's Cybertronian cuss words you're spouting either.)

(I was carrying tools around for Ratchet when I stubbed my toe.)

(Really fraggin' hard.)

(Dropping everything I was holding, I clutched my throbbing foot and practically screamed several of the worst Cybertronain curse words I knew.)

(It helps to hang around Ratchet when he's getting angry at either set of Twins.)

(His dictionary is a lot more colorful than mine.)

(Unfortunately, I just so happened to cuss near Annabelle…and Ironhide.)

('Hide, ever the mother hen to Lennox's offspring, pointed both of his cannons at me and growled.)

(I took off, hobbling on my still throbbing foot, as fast as I could.)

**93. Do not tell Sam that he is high strung.**

(He was just sitting there, nursing a cup of coffee and a Monster, trying not to freak out.)

('Bee was off battling Decepticons, so I assumed that that was Sam's problem.)

(Apparently it was much more than that.)

(His parents pressuring him to get a job, college assignments and finales, 'Bee battling, Mikaela and him arguing over the 'Love' word again, and so much more.)

(Slowly pulling the Monster and the coffee out of Sam's hands, I told him that he needed a break.)

(Sam asked why, and I told him that he was high strung.)

(That's when Sam started this huge aft hissy fit.)

(He grabbed the Monster out of my hands and poured it all over me before stomping off to get a coffee refill.)

(After staring after him in shocked silence for a few seconds, I screamed after him, "Drama Queen!".)

(I didn't even understand half of what he cursed at me.)

(All I know is that Sam A. Needs decaf. B. A trip to see Ratchet. And C. Maybe another trip to the mental hospital.)

**94. Do not bring remote control cars to base.**

(Seeing as how all of Annabelle's old toys were blown to bits by hysteric 'Bots…)

(I had to find something different for her to play with that wasn't a teddy bear or something else that the Autobots were currently terrified off.)

(Something that she would recognize…Like a remote controlled car!)

(Wheelie wasn't really allowed anywhere Annabelle, and with good reason, except for that one time when he was heavily covered in duct tape.)

(But boy, when he saw Annabelle playing with that remote controlled truck, he nearly glitched, he was so jealous.)

(He immediately zoomed over in his alt mode and started circling Annabelle, trying to get her to play with him.)

(It didn't work, but Wheelie didn't give up.)

(The next day, when I went to find the remote controlled car to play with again today, I found it torn to pieces.)

(With bullet holes in it, surrounded by shells that looked suspiciously like they were from Brains and Wheelie's guns.)

(The jealous mini 'Bot must have enlisted Brains in helping him take out the competition.)

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><p>Honestly, my computer was being such a frag, that I gave up a bit on this Chapter. I didn't check for spelling and grammar mistakes nearly as close as I have done for the other Chapters. The disclaimer is all weirdly spaced and slag. I honestly just wanted to get this out there before my computer wanted to ruin my day a bit more by eating, and therefore totally deleting, all the Chapter's that I have saved to it. But this is not your problem and I'll stop glitching to you all! Feel free to point out spelling mistakes! :D<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

You non believers thought I wasn't going to update today didn't you? XD I kicked my computer into submission enough to post. Just kidding. Anyway. Here's Chapter 20. Going on 20 Chapters with 146 reviews! I love it! Thank you all so much for the ideas, reviews, alerts, favorites, and just for reading in general! It makes me happy to know that I'm making people laugh from wherever you are in the world! Sorry for getting all cheesy/soppy, but it's true! XD Enough outta me.

Disclaimer:

Me: You know, for an early Valentines Day gift, you should let me say that I own you.

Ratchet : Did you not try this already when that 'Christmas' holiday you celebrate was here?

Me: ...Nooooo...Maybe. Why?

Ratchet: Because if it did not work then, what makes you think that it will work now?

Me: *says with a completely straight face* Fangirl determination.

Ratchet: *quirks an optic ridge*

Me: *sags* And maybe some begging, bribes, tiny threats, big threats, acts of desperation, and do you really want me to go on?

Ratchet: *rolls optics* No. I have had enough of your crazy notions for one day. Please just accept that they will never work. *starts to walk away*

Me: *watches Ratchet walk away* ...Maybe he's right...*pauses* ...*chases after Ratchet, and shouts* Hey Ratchet! What would you do for a box of chocolate covered Eneron?

StoleTheSpider owns nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>95. Do not re-enact 'The Finale Battle'.<strong>

(Sam, with a bald mask on, was Voldemort.)

(Leo, with a lightening bolt scribbled onto his forehead, was Harry.)

(I was in charge of the spells.)

(First came the banter between Voldie and Harry.)

(Then the battle started, and every time one of the guys shot a spell, I threw something at whoever they were aiming at.)

(Pillows, food, furniture, Mojo…)

(At the climax of the battle, when the spells met in the middle, I made dramatic explosion noises and threw rocks everywhere to simulate Hogwarts falling apart.)

(When Harry killed Voldie, I threw one of Ratchet's wrenches at Sam and accidentally knocked Sam unconscious.)

(A few seconds of awkward silence…and Leo and I bowed to our audience.)

**96. Energy drinks. Enough said.**

(Leo is like a little mini drug dealer when it comes to the forbidden stuff.)

(He knows more brands of energy drinks than Ratchet knows cuss words.)

(Leo isn't allowed to bring his wares on base anymore.)

(Especially after what happened last time.)

(On one really hot day, Sam and I popped open and split a can of what we though was just a harmless soda between us)

(Turns out…it was a can of NOS that Leo had brought to base.)

(Seconds later, Sam and I were mad hyper.)

(Talking gobble gook, running around, twitching, the whole shebang.)

(Bumblebee freaked out so much over Sam acting so strange, that he eventually locked Sam in his alt mode interior in an effort to contain him.)

**97. Weapons are not for cooking.**

(In an effort to improve my cooking skills, I had signed up for a cooking class at school.)

(It really hasn't improved my cooking skills, and I still pretty much even burn water.)

(In an effort to try and practice, I enlisted Simmons to try and teach me how to cook.)

(All that time working in his momma's meat store has taught him to cook surprisingly well.)

(After several burned beyond recognition turkeys, I resorted to using my surrounding resources.)

(A.K.A...The Autobots.)

(Simmons just watched, curious as to what my results would be.)

(Ironhide was too trigger happy, and I didn't trust the Twins' aim.)

(Wheeljack had made me an 'Easy Bake Oven' kinda thing for the turkey, but…)

(I wanted the turkey roasted, not incinerated.)

(Jolt asked if he could help.)

(Thinking "What's the worst that could happen?' I let Jolt have at it.)

(He attacked his cables to the frozen bird and fired away.)

(I didn't know a dead turkey could jump like that…)

(We ended up ordering out.)

**98. You are not Tallassee.**

(New 'Zombieland' obsession.)

(I donned a cowboy hat and hijacked Bumblebee.)

(Grabbing some black paint, I painted a big honking '3' on 'Bee's side before hopping back in 'Bee and peeling out.)

(I was in search of those delicious yellow treats.)

(Every time I came across a Twinkie, I laughed manically and attacked anyone near it.)

(Soon enough, people started pelting me with Twinkies to get me to stop.)

* * *

><p>I thought that these Rules were okay. Did they make you laugh? Did you hate them? See any grammarspelling mistakes? Love it? Hate it? Feel free to let me know by hitting that little review down there! Anonymous reviews are welcome! Don't make Optimus pull rank! XD


	21. Chapter 21

Another chapter! So soon! :D This Chapter has some of your guy's Rules in it and has been a long time coming. If your Rule is in here, I hope I got it right and that you like it! Please tell me if it isn't. Hope you all enjoy this Chapter! Finally got 100 Rules! Congrats to xXAutocon-Leader for being the one who gave me the Idea that made Rule #100! *throws confetti* Here's some Energon cake and one of Ratchet's wrenches. Run before he finds you. XD This is a cringe Disclaimer, it really does reek, but I just wanted to get this Chapter out there. Sorry it reeks!

WingedandWackey gets all the credit for Rule #99 with Ratchet taking music a bit too seriously.

xXAutocon-LeaderXx gets all the credit for Rule #100 and #101 with art having duel purposes and much electrocution.

Disclaimer:

Me: So Optimus...You doing anything special for Valentines Day?

Optimus: No. I do not really celebrate your human holidays.

Me: Pity. You've gathered quite a crowd. *points outside*

Optimus: What are you...Oh. *sees millions of raving fangirls outside, waiting for Optimus*

Me: Yeah. You're quite popular. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go warn everyone else. *smirks, sneaks outside, and runs off to go join the raving fangirls* GO TRANSFORMERS! I DON'T OWN YOU YET! BUT I WILL! MWHAHAHA! *coughcough* Did you say something?

* * *

><p><strong>99. Do not let Ratchet hear the song 'Jar of Hearts'.<strong>

(I tend to listen to music when I do my chores.)

(When 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri came on, I started singing it really loudly.)

(Either my singing is worse than I thought, or Ratchet decided to gain a sense of humor.)

(Because the mech himself came barging into the room I was cleaning, asking who was dying.)

(Aft.)

(I told him that no one dying, that I was just singing, and that he needed to leave before I sprayed floor cleaner into his pede.)

(Ratchet wasn't listening to me, and when I looked up at him to see why, I saw the most comical look of horror on his faceplates.)

"Is that song about a literal jar of _hearts_?"

(Still a bit miffed about the singing thing, I told Ratchet that the song was indeed about a jar of literal hearts.)

(Ratchet didn't take that well, ranting on and on about how humans were such violent and gruesome creatures and how he always knew that we'd revert to out ancestors savage ways.)

(I don't have the heart to explain the true meaning to the song, Ratchet lives for rants like this.)

**100. Using DeviantART for revenge is wrong.**

(Which means that I got that site banned as well.)

(If this keeps up, we might as well ban the Internet from the base.)

(All that I did was look up a some slash pics to use as revenge.)

(Seeing as how FanFiction was banned and all, I had to find other sources for revenge material.)

(DeviantART was a gold mine.)

(Some 'Bots don't have that good on an imagination, so reading graphic FanFiction out loud to them was ineffective.)

(DeviantART is art…that can be enlarged, printed, and pasted all around the base.)

(People on DeviantART love pairing 'Bots and people up just as much, if not more, as the people on FanFiction.)

(Sideswipe'll be at my beck and call for weeks if this keeps up.)

**101. Do not send Ratchet to shock therapy.**

(He has a little...'shocky' problem.)

(Optimus decided that the only way to solve it was to send Ratchet to shock therapy.)

(Not really. That's just what Sam and I told Ratchet.)

(Optimus really had nothing to do with sending Ratchet off to get an electric shock sent through his processor to hopefully make him less addicted to getting shocked senseless and to maybe become a happier mech.)

(At first, Ratchet went to the therapy without a fight, because he thought that it was Optimus' orders.)

(After a while, the cat got outta the bag and Ratchet found out that Optimus never gave him orders to go to the therapy.)

(Sam and I hid behind Bumblebee, expecting Ratchet to come at us, wrench swinging, but he didn't.)

(He just kind of…smiled, and made a wishey washy gesture with his wrench. Then walked away.)

(Maybe this shock therapy thing is working after all!)

**102. Do not try to subdue Autobots.**

(We all miss the old Ratchet!)

(After Sam and I sent Ratchet to the shock therapy sessions, Ratchet's been acting like a whole new mech.)

(He's happy all the time, he hasn't swung a wrench at anybody in weeks, and he actually complimented the Chevy Twins yesterday!)

(The world had gone mad.)

(So in an effort to get Ratchet back to normal, Sam and I had to find a way to trigger the old Ratchet.)

(The only way we could think of doing that was by tying Ratchet down and have Jolt shock him until the old Ratchet came back.)

(Kind of a long shot, but it had to work.)

(So, enlisting Bumblebee to help us tie Ratchet up, we called Ratchet into the Rec Room.)

(Being the new, trusting, friendly 'Bot that he was, he totally came into the Rec Room without even the smallest look of suspicion on his faceplates.)

(I kinda felt bad helping Jolt and Bumblebee tie the medic down and shock the slag outta him.)

(At least the plan worked.)

(When Ratchet came to his senses, he saw that he was tied down and flipped out.)

(I'm pretty sure that he even started cussing in different languages, but I wouldn't know.)

(We all ran out of the Rec Room to hide form Ratchet's wrench wrath as soon as we were sure he was back.)

* * *

><p>Stupid? Funny? You like your Rule? You no like your Rule? You see grammar mistakes (besides the ones in this AU) See asny spellins misakes (besides the ones in this AU)? Please let me know by dropping a review! :D Thanks for reading!<p> 


	22. Chapter 22

Another Chpater with your guys' Rules in it! Sorry these have been taking so long to get put into Rule form, but I hoipe it will be worth it whe n oyu see them. If you really don't like what I made the Idea into, feel free to tell me. I can go back and change it. :) Sorry if the character are a bit OOC or if the Rules are a bit long. I can't stop myself. T^T

elita13 gets all the credit for Rule #103 with Sunny and 'Sides looking like a robotic version of Yin and Yang.

annabellelennox gets all the credit for Rule #104 with those really repetitive and annoying songs.

xXAutocon-LeaderXx gets all the credit for Rule #105 with her invention of M&Mittles!

Zsign KRay gets all the credit for Rule #106 with Ironhide being great for a party.

Disclaimer:

Me: Sooo...You and Megatron are brothers, yes?

Opimus: That is correct.

Me: And Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are Twins.

'Sides and Sunny: The better looking pair of Twins if we do say so ourselves.

Mudflap: You got somthin' to say to us fancy aft! Come on! Bring it!

Skids: Yeah! Nobody messes with the Twins.

Sideswipe: Oh please. You two dunderheads couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag.

Skids: Oh! It's on! *lunges at Sideswipe*

Mudflap: What do you got to say sunshine?

Sunstreaker: Nothing. I don't think you'd be able to understand it anyway. Augh! *is tackled by Mudflap*

Me: *watches both sets of Twins fight and looks to Optimus* Aren't you going to stop that?

Optimus: In time. This fight has been long awaited by many. *points behind himself*

Me: What? *looks back* Oh. *spots Ratchet and 'Hide taking bets on who'll win*

StoleTheSpider owns nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>103. Do not frame Sunny and 'Sides.<strong>

(This revenge on 'Sides has been a long time coming.)

(Sunny was just unfortunate enough to be involved in my revenge tactic.)

(Donning a pair of plastic gloves stolen from the Med Bay so I wouldn't leave fingerprints, I set my plan into action.)

(Sneaking into Sunny and 'Sides respective rooms, I grabbed the cans of paint that the Lambo Twins so meticulously covered themselves with.)

(After booking it from the Twins' rooms, I suddenly skidded to a stop as a new idea came to me.)

(Grinning deviously to myself, I snuck back into the Twins' rooms with their paint cans.)

(Later, when the Twins got back from a grueling day of training with Ironhide, they went to their respective rooms to touch up on their scratched paint jobs.)

(Girlish screams were heard all thought the base as the Lambo Twins ran out of their room, clutching their paint cans, with horrified looks on their faceplates.)

(When we all ran to see what was the matter, we all stopped dead and laughed upon arrival.)

(Sunny had cherry red spot over his scuffed parts, while 'Sides had sunshine yellow spots over his.)

(Sunny and 'Sides took one look at each other before shouting out "YOU!" and leaping at each other to try and beat the slag out of who they thought was the cause of their messed up paint jobs.)

(I almost gave myself away by laughing too hard, but because of my previous experience of pranking people and avoiding the blame, I composed my facial expression and slipped away before anyone could suspect me.)

(Watching all those crime shows really pays off.)

**104. Just stay away from the loudspeaker system.**

(They have a guard for that thing for a reason.)

(Just to make sure that no one plays songs over it again.)

(The 'Jar of Dirt' song was okay. They just gave me a warning.)

(But after I played the 'Nyan Cat' song and 'Nom Nom Song' on a repetitive cycle for the rest of the month, I got more than a warning.)

(Lennox was seriously about to pull his hair out.)

(Optimus was more than a little touchy.)

(Ratchet was out for my blood.)

(All of that was nothing compared to Ironhide, who took things a little bit to the extreme.)

(He sprinted up to me, grabbed me by the feet, and hauled me down to the loudspeaker room only to make threats on my life to turn the songs off.)

(The thing is, I locked the system with an unbreakable password that even I don't know, that was achieved by picking Mojo up and dropping him on the keys to get random numbers and letters.)

(The songs will turn off automatically after a period of thirty days.)

(You think everyone would have learned patience by now.)

**105. Do not show Ratchet new foods.**

(Especially if it's newly created junk food.)

(It was a hot day, and everyone was outside, trying to escape the annoying songs playing over the loudspeaker inside.)

(Braving the heat with everyone else, I laid out a chair, grabbed some M&M's, Skittles, and a good book, before settling down to enjoy semi-quiet evening.)

(I forgot I was still being punished for making the life of everyone on base Hades with those songs playing, so I was made to ditch everything to come inside and clean.)

(I didn't know that I'd be cleaning for ten hours straight!)

(When I went back outside to my chair, I found my candy a slushy mess.)

(I grabbed all my stuff and ran back inside to the cool air conditioned building, putting my melted candy in the fridge on the way.)

(Time passed and Ratchet was seriously being a jerk.)

(I guess he had reason to, what with the annoying song and everything, but come on! Bathroom cleaning duty again!)

(I needed something to get back at him, and I found it…in the fridge.)

(All that melted candy had hardened in the fridge as I was being tormented by Ratchet, and made this cool little combination of Skittles covered with once melted M&M's.)

(Leo saw them and dubbed them M&Mittles.)

(Grinning as I ate the new concoction, I walked up to Ratchet to accept my new cleaning assignment.)

(As Ratchet was about to tell me what job I was to do, he stopped mid-sentence and stared at what was in my hand.

"What in Primus are you eating?"

( cheekily told him what exactly they were and what they were made out of.)

(You should have seen his face!

(It was so worth it getting chased around by a ranting, wrench weilding, and all around crazy medic!)

**106. Do not switch Ironhide's cannons.**

(This is what happens when humans and Autobots get bored.)

(We wait for the opportune moment to wreck some mayhem on everyone's favorite weapons specialist.)

(Mostly we wait for Ironhide to go into recharge.)

(You'd think he'd be a light recharger, being so high strung about Decepticons attacking and stuff.)

(In reality, he is the deepest recharger on the base.)

(This gave Sideswipe, a couple other guys, and I the perfect opportunity to sneak up to him and switch his cannons.)

(With confetti cannons.)

(Ironhide didn't suspect a thing when he woke up from recharge.)

(He sure as heck did when he was battling a couple Decepticons.)

(When Ironhide went to fire his trust cannons at the Decepticon he was grappling with, all that came out was high powered confetti.)

(Ironhide and the Decepticon were so surprised at the confetti that they stopped fighting, stated at the confetti, looked at each other, shrugged, and just went back to exchanging blows.)

(After the battle, 'Hide came at Sideswipe and me when he found out that it was us who had the idea to switch his cannons out.)

(He kept firing confetti at us and demanding his old cannons back.)

(That stuff hurts more than you would think!)

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><p>You like your Rule? Hopefully you all laughed at least once, even if it was just a chuckle. That's my goal. :D XD Feel free to tell me what you think by hitting that little review button down there if you have the time! :)<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

I'm supposed to be working on some other things, like my other Fic for instance, but I can't find any inspiration to get out of my funk. All I can write is these Rules! That's good for you all, but bad for me! X) Anyway, I'll just get down to the nitty-gritty and let you all get on with it. :)

annabellelennox gets all the credit for Rule #107 wiht Barney making a surprise appearance to the fight.

FantasyAddiction gets all the credit for Rule #109 with family competition taking a nosedive.

MissShelz gets all the credit for Rule #110 with the Twins thinking they're wrestling superstars.

elita13 gets all the credit for Rule #111 with 'Hide and Hatchet getting a paint job.

Disclaimer:

Me: Kind of long Rules list today so lets keep this short. I, StoleTheSpider, do not own the Transformers. Okay. Rule time!

Sideswipe: Wait...You were serious about keeping this short! Hold on! I wanna talk more! More screen time! Hey! 'Spider! Let me ta- *is cut off by line break*

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><p><strong>107. Do not change a 'Bots holoform.<strong>

(There are so many possibilities when it comes to Autobot holoforms.)

(Holoforms can pretty much be changed into anything.)

(Along with being able to be changed into some pretty scary stuff.)

(Like Barney for instance.)

(Sideswipe was all for switching his holoform to scare the slag outta Autobots and humans alike.)

(Annabelle was thrilled.)

(On the other hand, when Optimus saw the happy, singing, purple and green dinosaur dance onto the battlefield, he completely lost it.)

(He ran at Barney with his Energon sword, shouting a battle cry, and cut the dinosaur into smithereens.)

(Problem was that it was just Sideswipe's holoform, but we didn't tell Optimus that.)

(Sideswipe and I were too busy just standing there, mouths agape, starting at the now cool and collected Optimus.)

(We were thunderstruck at how he could lose and gain control that fast.)

(The opposing Decepticons thought it was pretty intimidating and stunning as well.)

(That was apparent as they turned tail and made a full retreat.)

**108. Do not send the Autobots Valentine's Day cards.**

(Sam, Leo, Mikaela, and I all got together in private to make this Valentine's Day a little more exciting.)

(Cutting out huge hearts to make cards out of, we planned to make anonymous Valentine cards for everyone on base.)

(Especially the Autobots.)

(Each message would be different, maybe a dirty little secret in one, or a really cheesy and embarrassing pick-up line in another.)

(Delivering these messages was our own little Cupid (Wheelie) dressed up in a diaper, carrying a bow and a quiver full of heart tipped arrows.)

(After we all finished our messages and sent Wheelie out with them, we waited for the fun to start.)

(The first reaction came from Ratchet, whose scandalous shout was so loud that it shook the table we all were sitting at.)

(We thought we heard a wrench hit something metal, but it was drowned out by the sound of cannon fire...from Ironhide's cannons if I'm not mistaken.)

(Throughout the day, as Wheelie delivered his hearts, the screams, shouts, and general obscenities got louder and louder.)

(Nobody could look anybody in the eyes or optics, and scorch marks were everywhere on the ground.)

(We all had to pretend to look scandalized as well, or the the actual receivers of Valentines would know it was us who sent them.)

(All in all, a great Valentines Day, especially when Optimus walked past with the funniest look of mortal embarrassment on his faceplates, Valentine card in hand.)

(We heard his cannon go off multiple times when he was out of sight, and when he walked past us again, he didn't have his Valentine anymore.)

**109. Do not let the Autobots star on Top Gear.**

(Don't even ask how I snuck Ironhide, Optimus, and Sideswipe onto the set.)

(Or how I managed to swap them for the cars that the hosts were going to use for that episode.)

(Because even I don't know!)

(Sneaking around the base late at night for junk food midnight snacks to avoid Ratchet's wrenches has taught me well.)

(Once the three Autobots were properly settled down into their new and temporary alt modes, all they had to do was wait for the show to start.)

(What was meant to be some relaxing 'family' competition soon turned into an absolute horror show.)

(Ironhide wasn't helping much.)

(The mechs were getting so competitive that they literally started drawing weapons on each other.)

(Even calm, noncompetitive Optimus!)

(The hosts dove out of what I think they assumed were Christine's relatives, and ran for their lives.)

(Screaming about demon cars all the way, mind you.)

**110. Do not wrestle on base.**

(I knew from the start that it was going to be a bad idea to let the Twins watch too much T.V.)

(Especially without a parental block.)

(The Twins, naturally drawn to violence and people beating the slag out of each other, found the wresting channel.)

(And presumed to watch a whole fraggin' marathon of it.)

(After that, they made up wresting names for themselves and frequently tried and take each other down.)

(The only difference from how they normally fight with each other is that they try to imitate the wrestling moves that they saw on T.V. and hit each other with chairs more.)

(It got so annoying, all this wrestling, that Ironhide decided to do something about it.)

(After yelling at the scuffling Twins to knock off the slag off yet again, Skids said something about how he should 'make him' and 'not that he could with all his rust buildup because of his old age'.)

(All I know is that it really ticked Ironhide off, being talked back to by these little punks.)

(So Ironhide called Ratchet over, who just so happened to be listening in on the conversation, and together they pawned the Twins.)

(It was pretty epic to watch, but now I kinda feel bad for the Twins.)

(They got a pretty serious smack down.)

**111. Do NOT mess with Hatchet and Irnohide's paint jobs.**

(Unless you wish to suffer a fate worse than death.)

(They're as protective of their paint jobs as much as Sunny and 'Sides!)

(I only found this out the hard way after another little prank I pulled.)

(Once again waiting for the targeted 'Bots to fall into recharge, I snuck into their rooms with some of Sunny and 'Sides paint.)

(I dipped my huge paint brush into Sunny's yellow paint and 'Sides' red paint, making sure to don black gloves to hide my prints again.)

(I then tried to imitate Picasso as best I could as I splattered the paint onto the body 'Hide, and then on the body of Ratchet across the hall.)

(When I was finished, I stood back and observed my work. They were beautiful, and I quickly ran out of Ratchets room before I brought him out of recharge with my laughing.)

(When the two mechs came out of recharge the next morning, they took one look at themselves and shouted out, "SIDESWIPE! SUNSTREAKER!" and charged off to wrench and pummel the pair to Cybertron and back.)

(Wincing as I heard the yells of protest from the Lambo Twins, I figured that it was a dang good thing that I was wearing those gloves last night and disposed of the evidence.)

(Or else I'd be turned into a squishy little human pancake from two pairs of mech pedes right now.)

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><p>Good, bad, ugly, funny? Got an Idea for me? Feel free to let me know by hitting that little review button down there! Thanks to all who let me use their ideas and I hope that you like them! Topkicker26's Rule about Mirage and Ezio is the first one up next Chapter! :) Happy Valentine's Day!<p> 


	24. Chapter 24

Little note. As you may have already noticed, not all of these Rules are just Movie!verse. Some are G1!verse and such. Sideswipe frequently changes from Movie!verse to G1!verse for example. I just got into Transformers Prime (Knockout Rocks!) and I might start making Rules about that. I'm becoming a bit familiar with G1!verse. I can't really hold myself back to just one universe. XD. If you want, I can make a notice at the top for what Rules are which universe. *shrugs* It's up to you all.

Topkicker26 gets all the credit for Rule #112 with Mirage being compared to a video game character.

Disclaimer:

Me: I FORGOT TO ADD A DISCLAIMER! Nooooo!

Sideswipe: I don't think anyone missed it.

Me: TnT You're so mean to me...

Sideswipe: It's a talent. Though it doesn't take much skill to do...

Me: Oh ho ho ho! You're gonna get it now buddy. You just wait. We'll see how cocky you are when you're painted...Can't give my new prank away...

Sideswipe: Ooohhh! I'm terrified! It's not like you own me! What are you gonna do? Paint me pink? Been there, done that.

Me: :3 You'll see...You'll see...*hides can of glitter paint behind back*

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><p><strong>112. Do not compare Mirage to Ezio.<strong>

(I was in the Rec Room, playing Assassin's Creed on the huge Autobot-sized T.V.)

(It was a pain in the butt to hook up my game system to the T.V. itself, but in the end it was so worth it.)

(Video games are even more epic when played on a movie theater sized screen.)

(As I was avoiding stuff like Ratchet, chores, and homework by playing Assassin's Creed, I started to notice something.)

(There was something hauntingly familiar about one of the characters, Ezio.)

(I couldn't put my finger on it for the longest time until a group of Autobots walked in, Mirage included.)

(Then it hit me. Mirage is almost exactly like Ezio!)

(They've both got an an Italian accent, wrist blades, are stealthy!)

(MIrage has taken t oturing invisible when he sees me.)

(He gets a little freaked out by my fangirly sequels of "Ezio!" when he walks by.)

**113. Do not tease Jazz.**

(It all started with me being bored out of my mind in the Rec Room, and really needing someone to pester.)

(Jazz just so happened to be sitting in the Rec Room with me with several other mechs and humans.)

(Getting a devious idea, I slowly walked over to Jazz and kindly asked him to pick me up.)

(The 'Bot was suspicious, with good reason, but he lowered his palm in front of me for me to stand on.)

(I scrambled on his palm and stood up as he lifted me up to optic level.)

(Turning around to face the other various mechs and humans in the Rrec Room, I called out…)

"Hey guys! Look! Jazz hands!"

(I then danced around on Jazz's hands, doing jazz hands of my own.)

(Everyone in the Rec Room burst out laughing.)

(Now, every time someone walks past Jazz, they shout "Jazz Hands!" and make jazz hands at him.)

(Jazz is less than pleased at the new trend that I started.)

**114. Do not hum dramatic music.**

(Being bored on patrol doesn't help much.)

(Patrol was cut short by a surprise Decepticon attack, but the enemies the 'Bots were fighting were easy ones.)

(So, to pass the time, Sam, Leo, and I took to humming dramatic movie music.)

(It really set the mood.)

(Especially when we hummed the 'Jaws' theme for when Mirage went invisible to sneak up on a foe.)

(To bad all the humming was really distracting to the Autobots.)

(Ironhide got so fed up with it that he started firing at us instead of the Decepticons.)

(We're not allowed on patrol anymore.)

**115. Autobots take signs seriously. **

(Sam and I had this all planned out.)

(I was the distraction by stopping Galloway in the hall and asking him mindless questions.)

(Sam then proceeded to walk up behind Galloway and slap him on the back, successfully taping a 'Kick Me' sign on him.)

(Sam and I had a hard time stifling out laughter as Galloway walked away, casting suspicious glares back at us as he went.)

(We had no idea that the Autobots would take the sign seriously.)

(At first, Ironhide gleefully tried to kick Galloway, only to be held back by Optimus.)

(Wheelie, however, didn't have anyone to hold him back.)

(Being too short to actually kick Galloway in the rear, Wheelie just settled with shooting him.)

(The pompous airhead couldn't sit down for weeks!)

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><p>That's the end. I have a new Chapter already typed and ready to roll out. It will moat likely be here tomorrow. Unless I can't get to a computer. But no excuses. I will try my hardest to post and to please! Finally, see anything wrong? You like? You hate? Feel free to let me know with a review! :D<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Sorry for the delay in getting your Rules out into the Fic, but I just wanted to get some of mine out there. The rest of your guys' will be coming soon! I already have them all planned out in my notebook. They'll be typed out and ready to read when a new Chapter comes along. Hopefully you all enjoy this Chapter and your own Rule when it pops up! P.s. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not hit the spacebar when I was writing Blurr's part in the Disclaimer. I had a twitch in my hand. Must...not...hit...spacebar. Just a random note. XD

MissShelz gets all the credit for Rule #120 with Sideswipe avoiding germ filled humans.

Disclaimer:

Me: Sooooo...Blurr...You like to talk?

Ironhide: *scoffs* That's the understatement of the millennium.

Me: What? Why?

Blurr: Idoreallyliketotalk. Ican'treallystoptalking. Atleast, that'swhateveryonekeepstellingme. Doyouliketalking? Ithinkthatit'sagreatpasttime! And_*continues to ramble on*

Me: Ono Guh...*twitches*

Ironhide: Exactly.

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><p><strong>116. Do not call Sideswipe 'Sidekick'.<strong>

(He really hates to be compared to Sunstreaker.)

(Especially when you call Sunny the better Twin.)

(Is it dangerous to push Sideswipe's buttons?)

(Well…to him it might be.)

(Because after I said that Sunny was the better Twin, 'Sides went out of his way to prove that he was better.)

(At one point he almost blew Bumblebee's helm off.)

('Sides was in the weapons range, shooting distracted.)

(Mostly because he was trying to out shoot Sunny.)

(Again.)

**117. Walk down memory lane on your own time.**

(I was rooting through some of the crap in my basement for an upcoming yard sale.)

(Yet another money making scheme.)

(Brains was helping...get himself covered in dust bunnies.)

(While rooting through some piles, I came upon some old toys.)

(Mainly my beaten up Easy Bake Oven and a box of old Barbies.)

(Brains seemed taken with the Barbies, so I let him have them while I tried to get my Oven to work.)

(No go.)

(Convinced that I could fix it better back at the base, I gathered the Oven up, with the box of Barbies at Brains' urging, and headed back.)

(But I couldn't get the Oven to work any better there than I did at my house.)

(Moping through the rest of my day, I didn't see 'Bee steal the Oven.)

(A few days later, Wheeljack presented me with my Oven, all fixed up bright, shiny, and new.)

(Squealing like a little kid on Christmas, I quickly ran over and tried to make something with it.)

(Only to have the finished product come out glowing a radioactive green.)

(Wheeljack chuckled nervously and disposed of my new 'fixed' Oven in the bio-hazard bin.)

**118. Do not encourage cannonballs.**

(The Autobots were taking a much needed break from smashing Decepticon can.)

(It was mainly the badgering of us teenagers that got them to even take this break.)

(Driving down to the beach seemed like a good idea.)

(The Chevy Twins had fun making sand forts with Sideswipe and Bumblebee.)

(They all soon dissolved into having a sandball fight, using the forts as cover.)

(When they were throwing the sandballs, one of the 'Bots accidentally threw Wheelie.)

(Ratchet was his usual grumpy self, complaining about how the sand was going to be a glitch to clean out, while Optimus just chuckled beside him.)

(But I could see that even he was starting to relax and enjoy himself.)

('Hide was watching as Sam, Mikaela, and I were having a cannonball contest.)

(He successfully blew us out of the water literally and figuratively when he stepped back and leaped in.)

(His splash was big enough to wash up on shore and knock down the sand forts.)

**119. Don't try to shut Blurr up.**

(There's no way to get Blurr to shut it.)

(We've tried everything.)

(Duct tape doesn't even work. He just talks right through it.)

(Optimus has the only fail safe way to get Blurr to clam up, and that's to pull rank.)

(But sometimes that doesn't even work.)

(I swear he taps out messages in Morse Code with his pedes when he's forced to be quiet.)

(So I used the same tactic on him as I did previously with the other 'Bots.)

(I waltzed up to Blurr and asked him how sparklings were made.)

(I expected him to get all flustered like the rest of the Autobots had when I had asked them how babies were made.)

(But what I got was a lengthy, detailed, rambling, babbling, explanation on exactly how sparklings were made.)

(Way. To. Much. Info.)

**120. Don't taunt Sideswipe with your flu.**

(Fraggin' winter weather.)

(I hate it when my nose gets all stuffy and runny.)

(Apparently I'm not the only one.)

(I noticed that every time I got close to Sideswipe, he would shoot me this terrified look and inch away.)

(At first I thought that I smelled bad or something, but then the pieces clicked in.)

(He was a germaphobe, and I had the flu.)

(Through my mugginess, I smirked evilly. I could have some fun with this.)

(Now, when 'Sides walks by me I pretend to vomit or sneeze and watch as 'Sides squeals and bolts.)

(I don't think that I want to recover.)

(Not with all the fun I'm having.)

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><p>Now remember kiddies. When you get sick, make sure to chase germaphobic people all around for some serious fun and games. Joking! I'm a terrible person when I'm sick. So you all like the Rules? See a mistake? I think you all know the drill! XD See you next Chapter! Oh! And I'm working on responding to all your reviews and PM's. Please be patient with me because I am a Master protagonist. I'm lazy to boot. It's a wonder that these Chapters get typed and posted. Ugh. Anyhoo. Sorry 'bout that. I'm getting on it ASAP. TnT<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Bit of cheese up here...You guys rock! I cannot thank you enough for reading and reviewing my Fic! And all the Ideas! Wow! No really, it makes my day when I open my Email account and see all of the reviews in there. 26 Chapters and going on 215 reviews! Way more than I expected to get when I first started out! I get all giggly when I think about it. Glad I'm making you all laugh and thank you sooooo much for reading and reviewing! Your Ideas are amazing and here are some of them in this Chapter. I hope you enjoy them. :)

Jimanji gets all the credit for Rule #121 with those annoyingly happy bears.

annabellelennox gets all the credit for Rule #122 with those epic suction cup hangings.

cobylori4ever gets all the credit for Rule #123 with Ratchet being a fun sucker.

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #124 with the Mythbusters being a bad influence.

**T.M.D: **Thanks! As for the Idea, XD. They'd probably glitch!

**Jiminji:** Love it! XD I know that every time I see one I get the shivers. Your Rule is in this Chapter! Hope you like!

Disclaimer:

Me: No time. To much AN. I, StoleTheSpider, own nothing.

Ratchet: Thank Primus.

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><p><strong>121. Do not show Megatron Care Bears.<strong>

(He hates them with a passion.)

(I think they give him nightmares.)

(It sure seems like it when you see his reaction towards them.)

(I could visibly see him shudder at the sight of the little pink bear that I held aloft.)

(It was the last of Annabelle's stuffed animals-all the other had been blown up-and I intended to keep it safe.)

(It doesn't help that I forgot that its hiding spot was in my backpack, which means that it gets carted around to most of the battles.)

(At least it came in handy for stopping Megatron!)

(I mean, he shot me a look that was a mixture of pure horror and a little bit of fear before trying to blow me to Cybertron with his cannons…)

(But at least I tripped him up long enough for Optimus to take him down!)

(I bet Starscream will be razzing his leader about the whole Care Bear incident for months!)

**122. Suction cup hangings are included with car accessories.**

(I figured that since the scented pine tree hangings didn't work out so well…)

(I would go to the next best thing…Those suction cup things.)

(They have loads of funny sings for them and the greatest thing is that they stick to windows!)

(No more shredding when the Bot's transform!)

(Giggling gleefully to myself as I checked out my purchases, I imagined what Ironhide and Optimus' reactions would be.)

(I made my move one day as they recharged in their alt modes.)

(Making sure to move super slowly so as not to wake them, I opened their drivers side doors and stuck one sign on Optimus' windshield and another on Ironhide's window.)

(Shoving a fist in my mouth to stifle my laughter, I slowly shut their doors before running away.)

(The next day, when Ironhide and Optimus came out of recharge and switched to their 'Bot modes, they were met with great gales of laughter.)

(For on Optimus' chassis, right on his windshield, was a suction cup sign that read "WIDE LOAD." and on one of Ironhide's door wings, there was a sign that read "BABY ON BOARD!" right on the window.)

(Just what a mother hen needs.)

(Ironhide was seething, totally out for the pranksters blood, but he had no idea who did it.)

(I think Optimus suspected that it was me, but he enjoyed laughing at Ironhide's sign as much as everyone else.)

**123. Do not pretend to be sick**.

(This goes along in part with Sideswipe still avoiding me like I was a scrapling.)

(I was finally starting to get over my cold, but I didn't want the fun to end!)

(I also didn't want to go back to school.)

(So in order to knock off two bird with one stone, I simply pretended to be sick.)

(All that fake retching really paid off. I had convinced Sam and Lennox.)

(It was Optimus who was the skeptic.)

(He commed Ratchet, who grumpily stomped in seconds later to do some medical scans.)

(As I gave him my best sick puppy dog look while sniffling pathetically, Ratchet scanned me.)

(When Ratchet was finished, he cut off the scans, finding no signs of sickness, and growled at me to get to school or he'd make me.)

(I wasn't about to give up that easily, and I let out a few more whines and hacks to try and convince him that I truly was sick.)

(But Ratchet was not amused.)

"Fine. You want to stay home so bad? Two weeks in the brig. Or, since you're so sick, two weeks in the Med Bay. Take your pick."

(You can bet your aft that I quit the sick act and bucked it to school at that threat!)

**124. Make sure that the Autobots see the disclaimer.**

(Wheeljack was amazed by the show Mythbusters.)

(Everyone just thought that he like watching Adam and Jamie blow stuff up.)

(But we were totally wrong.)

('Jack was getting ideas...)

(To try out for real.)

(This was apparent when we came to the base the next morning and saw a Hwacha just like they made in the show…)

(But ten times bigger and with rockets instead of arrows.)

(We all watched with terrified looks on our faces as Wheeljack proceeded to light the Hwacha.)

(The rockets flew out of that thing with such ferocity that we all scrambled back a few steps.)

(When the smoke cleared, the targets that 'Jack had set up outside were reduced to cinders.)

(Optimus doesn't let 'Jack watch Mythbusters anymore, and if he does get to watch it, we make sure that he sees the disclaimer at the beginning of the show.)

(We're all still wondering how he got that Hwacha to work…)

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><p>So! You like? You laugh? You hate? You see a mistake? Feel free to let me know! Reviews are oh so welcome! More updates coming hopefully soon! :) Thanks again!<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

I'm going to try to update every Friday for this Fic. So far so good! XD This is another Chapter of you guy's Rules. Next Chapter is going to be mainly my Rules. Sorry about that but I want to get some of my Rules in here to. I'll alternate so that I can get everyone's Rules in this Fic. Hope you enjoy!

xXAutocon-LeaderXx gets all the credit for Rule #125 with the Shattered Glass universe causing panic.

supergirlprime gets all the credit for Rule #126 with banana's making things awkward.

TheChippedCup gets all the credit for Rule #127 a staring contest gone wrong.

Meowmeow98 gets all the credit for Rule #128 with personality changes causing worry.

**T.M.D: **All the rhyming...Prowl or 'Hide would glitch. Or at least get so annoyed at it that he'd shoot at the book and the unfortunate reader! XD Love the Idea. Thanks for reading! Here's a new Chapter! :)

Disclaimer:

Me: Look! I'm totally decked out! Ready for St. Paddy's Day! Whoot! I feel luckier already! *dances around in completely green outfit*

Prowl: You're making a fool of yourself.

Me: Just you wait. You're mostly white. You need at least a little bit of green on you. If you don't put on this green pin...you're gonna feel the aftereffects. Trust me.

Prowl: Aftereffects? Nonsense. I'm not partaking in your silly little superstition. Please leave me alone so I can finish my work.

Me: *in singsongy voice* Okay! Don't say I didn't warn you! I don't own the Transformers. *watches Sideswipe walk into Prowl's office*

Sideswipe: Hey Prowl! No green? Shucks for you! *punches Prowl then runs*

Me: *yells into Prowls office* Told ya Prowl! You need green!

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><p><strong>125. Do not show the Autobots the 'Shattered Glass' universe.<strong>

(Everything is the opposite.)

(Allegiances, personalities, heck, even some names are different!)

(Which means that showing the Autobots would case a considerable amount of distress.)

(A good person would never try to rile up that kind of trouble…)

(To bad I'm not a good person.)

(So, waltzing up to Optimus, I showed him my laptop that had detailed explanations about everything in that universe.)

(I told him that that universe was the near future.)

(Optimus nearly glitched, especially when I showed him the human hating Decepticon, Nemesis Prime, Optimus' alternate self.)

(He was also shocked by the caring, human loving alternate of Megaton.)

(Optimus immediately commed the others and, seconds later, they all barged in, shouting in disbelief at the pictures that Optimus had sent them.)

(Everyone was in hysterics and they wanted to know how they could prevent that universe from happening.)

(I told them that they had to be super nice to all humans for the rest of the month.)

(They all bought it. Even Ironhide and Ratchet.)

(The next day, Lennox and his men were really confused as to why Ironhide was going so easy on them in training.)

(Ratchet didn't swing his wrench at anyone, and the Chevy Twins didn't spout one rude word all day!)

(After I informed the rest of the humans as to why the 'Bots were acting so weird, there's now a betting pool to see which 'Bot will crack first and how long it'll take.)

(My money's on Ratchet.)

**126. Never make eye/optic contact with others while eating a banana.**

(Ratchet had caught me trying to eat a cookie from my secret stash again.)

(He knocked that one out of my hand as well and put a banana in my hand instead.)

(I was getting really sick of these healthy snacks!)

(In my anger, I pretended that the banana was a gun and 'fired' at Ratchet with a loud "BANG!".)

(After a while, I eventually ate the banana under Ratchet's careful supervision.)

(Mostly because I was hungry.)

(As I was chowing down, Sam and Leo walked in.)

(I didn't see them at first, but when I finally did, their faces threw me for a loop.)

(They were giving me the weirdest stares.)

(I just kept staring back at them, eating my banana, until the pieces finally clicked in and I realized what exactly I was eating.)

(I blushed. This whole situation just got real awkward.)

(Ratchet didn't get what was going on, his scanners were picking up a change in the pheromone levels or something, and he immediately asked us what was going on.)

(Neither of us wanted to explain to him, so I just trashed my banana and we all made a quick retreat.)

**127. Never challenge an Autobot to a staring contest.**

(As it turns out…Autobots don't really need to blink.)

(I had convinced Mudflap to have a staring contest with me.)

(He agreed, and with Skids as out referee, we began.)

(I was wondering why Skids kept snickering throughout the contest.)

(After staring at Mudflap for 30 minutes straight, he finally decided to tell me that they don't need to blink.)

(I tried to close my eyes, but they were all dried out and wouldn't shut)

(In the end, I had to go to Ratchet, who ranted on about how we do the stupidest things in out free time, not caring if it's hazardous to out health.)

(I couldn't shut my eyes for three hours.)

(I still can't decide which was worse, not being able to shut my eyes for three hours, or staring at Mudflap's face for 30 minutes.)

**128. Never pretend that you had changed your personality.**

(I didn't pester Ironhide.)

(I ate only healthy foods and went willingly to my checkup with Ratchet.)

(I was quiet all day and listened to Prowl's orders.)

(When the Twins pranked me, I just smiled pleasantly at them and went to clean myself off.)

(I acted respectfully around Optimus and the higher ranked government men.)

(I even assisted Galloway with some paperwork.)

(I continued this change in my personality for two weeks.)

(It was hard to control myself, especially around Galloway, but it was so worth it.)

(Everyone was freaked out.)

(Ratchet gave me medical scans on the hour along with returning my junk food; Ironhide was hovering around me like a mother hen; the Twins stopped pranking me, and Sideswipe even offered to let me drive his alt mode.)

(Don't even mention how Optimus reacted.)

(I was eventually found out, especially when I squealed at the chance to drive Sideswipe's alt mode, but the Autobots were still cautious around me.)

(Anytime I did something that was against my personality, I was immediately whisked away to the Med Bay for medical scans.)

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><p>Good? Bad? Find a spelling or grammar mistake? Feel free to drop me a review if you have the time to tell me what you think! :D See you all next Chapter! Thanks for reading!<p> 


	28. Chapter 28

I said that I was going to upload every Friday, and I meant it! Yesterday just left me a little busy. Sorry about that. Anyhoo! This Chapter didn't really seem all that funny to me, but maybe you guys will enjoy it. Next Chapter will be mainly your guy's Rules. Hope you all look forward to that. :)

**T.M.D: **Thanks for the check. It's so easy for me to overlook those little mistakes. So aggravating. Loved the new Ideas, especially number 2! XD Mass Mayhem. Thank you very very much! :D Hope you enjoy this Chapter!

Disclaimer:

Me: *ponders* We should do something like the Hunger Games...

Ironhide: *Googles 'Hunger Games'* Nonsense! We are not fighting to the death for some pompous governments enjoyment! The ideas that you come up with in your squishy little head...

Me: No no no! Not to the death! That would be stupid. I just meant a survival contest or something. Or Lasertag. Yuo know, last one standing wins?

Ironhide: Absolutely not.

Me: *huffs* I don't know why you're so against it. You'd win anyway.

Ironhide: I wouldn't want the others to feel inferior.

Me: Was that sarcasm 'Hide!

Ironhide: *growls at the nickname* Yes. And 'Hide' is what you should be doing.

Me: Meep! *runs* StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers!

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><p><strong>129. Doughnuts can be dangerous.<strong>

(Sam was celebrating a recent Decepticon defeat.)

(Hopping into Bumblebee's alt mode, Sam proceeded to take control and spin Bumblebee out onto the grass…

(And do many, many doughnuts, causing grass and dirt clumps to fly up and hit people.)

(We were all wondering when Sam was going to stop when 'Bee answered for us.)

(The poor, dizzy Autobot suddenly ejected Sam from his alt mode interior.)

(He switched to 'Bot mode and stumbled off to the woods to vomit.)

(Ratchet checked him over, but Bumblebee couldn't walk straight for weeks.)

**130. Don't try to act like cheerleaders.**

(Picture this.)

(Instead of a human pyramid…an Autobot pyramid.)

(Epic right?)

(The mental image seemed so easy to follow through, but actually getting a bunch of grumpy, unwilling robots to stack themselves up was a pretty difficult task.)

(It took a couple hours, a bunch of trodden on servos, pedes, and faces, and a couple handfuls of curse words from 'Hide and Ratchet, but they did it.)(Optimus, Ratchet, and Ironhide were on the bottom of the period.)

(Bumblebee, Jazz, and Sideswipe were in the middle, while Skids and Mudflap were the crown.)

(But Brains and Wheelie hated to be left out.)

(So, with much scrabbling and cursing, the MiniCons climbed up to the tippy top of the pyramid.)

(The whole pyramid held its form just long enough for me to snap a couple pictures before they all let go and toppled together in a huge robotic heap.)

(The only problem now is untangling all of the Autobots from the pyramid pile without getting shot by a tetchy weapons specialist .)

**131. The Silent Game is always fun.**

(Sam, Leo, Mudflap, Skids, and me.)

(Optimus was the one who suggested the game.)

(Well…It was kinda an indirect order.)

(Humans got writing pads while mechs got data pads.)

(Armed, we all set about not talking.)

(After about a minute of silence, Simmons successfully goaded Leo into talking by making fun of his dinky Internet site.)

(I say talking, but he was actually yelling insults.)

(Next, Skids and Mudflap broke out into another inevitable fight over some little thing, resulting in their elimination.)

(That left Sam and me.)

(We started an intense stare down across the table.)

(Suddenly, Sam blinked.)

(Triumphant, I yelled out 'Yes! You blinked! I win!' only to have Sam smirk at me.)

"I don't think so. We were having a Silent Contest remember? Guess who talked first?"

(Crap.)

**132. Just settle with the classic fort.**

(Annabelle and I were in the Rec Room, gathering all the couches together.)

(Correction: I was heaving the couches around while Annabelle held the sheets.)

(It was a classic chair-on-couch-sheet-roof fort.)

(Annabelle was amazed…until Ironhide came in and completely one-upped me.)

(He piled all the furniture up and stacked them in a way that resembled Hogwarts...)

(If you tilted your head a certain way and squinted a lot.)

(Annabelle totally forgot about my little fort in favor of running over to play with Ironhide.)

(The smug weapons specialist just smirked at me and went off to play with Annabelle.)

(I didn't think that it looked that great…)

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><p>Another Chapter down! You all like this one? In my opinion, not one of my best. *shrugs* Hopefully you all enjoyed it. :) If you see any grammar or spelling mistakes please let my know, or just an opinion. Reviews are greatly appreciated! :D<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

Friday Update! Yay! Okay. This is all your Ideas made into Rules. I hope you enjoy them. :)

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #130 with an App made real...

Sheekblack gets all the Credit for Rule #131 with half asleep 'Bots becoming volleyballs.

Angelzodica013 gets all the Credit for Rule #132 with Wall-E causing some glitches.

Jet the Scouring Microraptor gets all the Credit for Rule #133 with a water war on 'Hide.

**T.M.D: **Loved the Ideas! Either all the 'Bots would be making fun of my blubbering at the Titanic, or they'd be crying themselves! Either way is hilarious. As for April Fools Day...Sunny and 'Sides are going to have a heyday! John Wayne does kind of remind me oh him...but I haven't seen one of his movies in ages! Grown Ups is classic! How could they not all watch that! XD Thanks for the last comment. Made my day! If I did own them, Ironhide would not have died in the last movie. That was horrible. T^T Thanks for reviewing and for the Ideas! :D

**Optimus' girl: **Thanks! Glad you're liking them! :D I'm definitely going to have more of those mechs. They're reactions to stuff is great and they're just so easy to pick on! XD As for your Idea, how could I forget about the Dinobots! They're epic...and leaving them alone with strangers is a really bad Idea...O.O The Truth Or Dare Rule was also great! The Twins would take it to far with the dares! XD Loved the Ideas. :) Glad I could make your bad day go away! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

**Midnight Prime: **XD Your Rule was classic! Poor 'Bots. Pink really isn't their color! XD Sideswipe's in for it now...XD Thanks for the Idea and for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: Sooooooo...Optimus. How do you feel about all these alterante universes that have you guys in them?

Optimus: Are there many alternate universes?

Me: Yeah! Prime, Animated, Beast Wars. There's a lot. You die in a couple I think...though I might be over exaggerating...

Optimus: I die!

Me: Or nearly die. I might be wrong though!

Optimus: Do you know if I die in this universe?

Me: Uhhhh...Let me say that I own you and I'll tell you.

Optimus: Never. StoleTheSpider will never own the Transformers.

Me: Hmph. Then you'll just have to live in fear.

Optimus: I know that this is the lesser of two evils...

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><p><strong>130. Angry Birds is banned from base.<strong>

(I made the mistake of showing Wheeljack the game on my Ipod.)

(The next day, the first thing I saw when I walked onto base was Wheelie, Brains, and a few soldiers flying through the air.)

(I watched in surprise as they all crashed into some colorful foam blocks on the other side of the base.)

(This went on for two hours with more soldiers flying into the blocks until Wheeljack's fun came to an abrupt stop.)

(Optimus and Ironhide had just come back from patrol.)

(After all the blocks were cleaned up and the injured 'birds' were attended to, the game was banned.)

(None of the soldiers can look at the game the same way anyway.)

**131. All mechs must be fully out of recharge before leaving the hanger.**

(Early morning drills with Ironhide.)

(Not fun. At all.)

(The crazy mech makes everyone, and I mean everyone, get up at the crack of dawn to go do some drills and stuff.)

(He even dragged Optimus out!)

(So here we all are outside, running around, with most of us already half asleep.)

(Sideswipe was teetering on the edge, dozing off into a light stasis here and there until 'Sunny poked him awake.)

('Sides eventually just couldn't stay awake, and fell into a deep stasis…right on Ironhide.)

(Ironhide let out a growl and shoved 'Sides off him…and onto Ratchet, who shoved 'Sides off of him and onto Optimus.)

(There was this huge pass along of 'Sides as mechs pushed him off themselves and onto others.)

(Sunny was just watching, laughing his aft off at the whole thing, until 'Sides woke up and came after him for letting the whole pass along happen.)

(I think my stomach muscles got a workout from belly laughing so long and hard.)

**132. 'Wall-E' is banned from base.**

(I thought that it was an innocent movie.)

(Annabelle liked it.)

(And there were robots!)

(Mindless slave robots…but still robots!)

(As I settled down with Annabelle and some random mechs, I popped in the movie and began to watch.)

(Before the movie really even started, Hound let out this disgusted noise and started to glitch.)

(I had no idea why he was glitching until I actually watched the movie.)

(The environmentalist was glitching at the mountains of trash that the Earth was covered in.)

(As Ratchet came in to take Hound to the Med Bay, he eyed our movie and let out his own scandalized gasp.)

(As soon as he saw the overweight humans, he completely lost it.)

(He changed our diets...again...and made us all do intense physical routines with Ironhide that were added onto the drills that 'Hide was already making us do every morning.)

(I. Am. In. Agony!)

** 133. Water Guns/Pistols are banned from base.**

(Not that we point them at Dutch, one smack down is enough, but we figured that using them around the 'Bots would be different.)

(It was a really hot day and we had nothing better to do than sit and melt.)

(So Sam, Leo, Mikaela, and I all took a little unplanned trip to the dollar store to pick up some entertainment.)

(None of us had used a water gun in years, so filling them up was like a cheesy trip down memory lane.)

(When the water fight started, there was no mercy, especially since we put ice cubes in the water to make it extra cold.)

(The sounds of our startled and excited squeals and shouts soon attracted an audience.)

(Some soldiers wanted in the water fight and soon enough we had a water war going on.)

(The Autobots, not wanting to be left out, came to see what was going on after that…)

(And completely overacted to what they saw,)

(They thought that we were holding actual guns and that we were shooting at each other.)

(Apparently they think that real guns come in neon colors.)

(Ironhide started to take all of our water guns away and scolded us like the mother hen that he denies that he is.)

(We all revolted at having out guns taken away and the few of us that still had our weapons shot at 'Hide, effectively soaking him.)

(We all got our guns back and resumed our war, but now Hide's in the Med Bay, whining about rust while Ratchet dries him off.)

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><p>Good? Bad? Horrible? Please let me know my leaving a review if you have the time! Mistakes found and pointed out to me are amazing! :D Hope you all thought that your Rule was okay!<p> 


	30. Chapter 30

Yay! Thirty Chapters! Almost 300 reviews too! You're all amazing. If I could, I'd stick my hand through the computer and give you all a slice of Energon cake. :D But enough of my hyped up ramblings, on with the nitty gritty! P.S. This Chapter is reallly long. Beware!

Iceshadow911247 gets all the Credit for Rule #134 in which the Dinobots have left the building.

Midnight Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #135 with Sideswipe influencing children.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #136 with April Fool's Day being celebrated late.

AquaGrace gets all the Credit for Rule #137 with cinnamon turning deadly.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #138 with hypnotism making things interesting.

**T.M.D: **I don't like your Ideas, I love them! XD Here's another one of yours made into a Rule! Hope you enjoy it. :) And don't worry, no Idea gets turned down. I will definitely use them all. :) Especially the Warrior Cat one. I'm not too familiar with any of the books. Which cat do you think is most like each of the 'Bots. Wikipedia is an option, but I want to hear from someone who's read the books. :) The 'Bots reactions to being compared to cats...XD Love the Ideas! Thanks for reading, reviewing, and the Ideas!

**I KICKED IRONHIDES ARF LIVED: **XD Ironhide's face would be classic! That picture would be pure gold! You would have to be running pretty dang fast though. Ironhide might just decide to step on you as punishment! I don't think that I'll ever be able to forgive Bay for killing him off. Off all the Autobots why did it have to be 'Hide! Thanks for reading though. :)

**Midnight Prime: **Midnight crazies are the best. That's when your brain is at it's best! As for the bungee jumping Idea, it's so crazy that its perfect! XD It might be a bit hard to babble out like I do, but they way you already wrote it out is great. I might just tweak it a bit, but I'm definitely going to use it. XD Here's your Rule! Hope you like it! Oh, and I'm not sure what the exact definition is, but I'm pretty sure that an OC is an 'Original Character' or an 'Outside Character'. It's a character that someone made up and is not originally part of the movie or book or whatever. You totally should get an account. Having this account had definitely improved my writing. Thanks for that, even though I'm getting better at this writing thing myself! XD I'll do the best I can! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**trans:** XD Glad you're liking it! Really happy that I can make you laugh! I aim to please! Here's more! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Sophie:** XD I made you laugh! Yes! XD Really glad that you're enjoying it and laughing! Babbling is my specialty! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Optimus' girl:** He totally does. Can anyone stand her? As for your Rule, I see a complete mess. Oh my goodness...Ironhide would be glitching because he wouldn't be allowed to shoot them. Optimus' policy about not harming humans and all that...But he might just bend that after a couple hours stuck with the pair...We'd definitely need to prep the Med Bay...Loved your other Rule as well! I'll be sure to use both. :) Glad that you're enjoying the Fic and thanks for reading, the Rules, and for reviewing. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: NO TIME! JUST READ!

Sideswipe: Gah!

Me: STOLETHESPIDER OWNS NOTHING!

Sideswipe: Who let you get your fleshy hands on the high grade?

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><p><strong>134. Never leave the Dinobots with strangers.<strong>

(The last time that they were left unattended caused some headaches and made us replace one poor guys semi.)

(The Dinobots thought that it was Optimus and had chased after it and right out of the base.)

(They had caught the semi and made mince meat of it by accident.)

(The driver nearly fainted.)

(Now the Dinobots have been ordered to be under constant supervision to make sure that they stay on base.)

(This time the unfortunate guards were me and the Chevy Twins.)

(At first, the Dinobots kept pestering the Twins for stories and stuff.)

(Skids and Mudflap hadn't expected to actually do anything while babysitting and they were totally unprepared.)

(They rambled about a Decepticon fight that they had recently had, boasting about all the Decepticon aft that they had whooped, totally making it all up as they went along.)

(I should know. I was there.)

(After a while, the Twins starting razzing on each other, claiming that this never happened and no, you're telling that wrong, and soon enough…a scuffle had broken out.)

(The Dinobots watched for a bit before Grimlock started to get bored.)

"GRIMLOCK ME NO LIKE THIS STORY. GRIMLOCK ME GO NOW FIND FUN. MAYBE NEW CAR FOR ME GRIMLOCK TO CHASE!"

(Without further ado, the huge leader of the Dinobots started to stomp off, the rest of the troop stomping along after him.)

(The Twins had enough sense to stop fighting long enough to see that their charges were escaping.)

(They tried calling them back, insulting them to get them angry enough to follow them, taunting them, and bribing them with Energon, but it was no good.)

(Houston, we have a problem. The Dinobots are loose.)

(Optimus was commed along with the rest of the 'Bots for backup.)

(I don't think it's going to help, the Dinobots never listen to Optimus anyway, they nearly bowled him over once in an effort to get to some fresh Energon.)

(I just hope they don't get on the freeway again.)

**135. Do not leave Annabelle unattended.**

(Will was taking Sarah out to dinner and leaving Annabelle in our more than capable hands…or servos.)

(I was gonna baby-sit her, but I had homework.)

(That left me to find another babysitter.)

(Sam and Mikaela had mysteriously disappeared…again, so there went two more of my options.)

(Many of the soldiers had weapons training and that was no place for a toddler.)

(Most of the Autobots were recharging…except for Sideswipe.)

(The cherry red mech knew that if he harmed Annabelle, there'd be 'Hide to pay, so I was confident that he wouldn't pull anything.)

(I left Annabelle with Sideswipe and went off to finish my homework, wondering if I just made a huge mistake.)

(I'd find out later.)

(Turns out, all those recharging 'Bots were in the hanger, recharging peacefully in their alt modes.)

(Somehow, Sideswipe got his servos on six huge cans of hot pink paint.)

(He handed Annabelle a brush and let her go crazy, telling her that the grumpy, sleepy 'Bots needed some of her expert painting skills to liven up their days.)

(After three hours of uninterrupted painting, Annabelle was finished.)

(Ratchet and Optimus had little smiley faces and hand-prints all over them while Sunny had a pictures of what looked suspiciously like unicorns on both of his doors with tiny footprints walking all over his hood.)

(As for Ironhide, well, he was coated.)

(Not one speck of his original black paint could be seen.)

(He was completely hot pink.)

(That wasn't Annabelle's idea, so much as it was Sideswipes.)

(When all the recharging 'Bots woke up, needless to say they were mad, but none of them blamed Annabelle.)

(I was quickly called to come and pick her up.)

(As I stepped into the room to retrieve her, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from laughing hysterically.)

(That would have gotten me killed, and I booked it from the room as soon as Annabelle was safely in my arms.)

(Sideswipe was not so lucky, and since then he's disappeared, but occasionally I hear shouts and screams from the Med Bay…)

**136. April Fool's Day is not a real holiday.**

(That's never stopped the Twins before.)

(This time they had an excuse to cause havoc.)

(It started off as a regular morning on the base.)

(Ratchet chasing down Lennox for his check-up, Leo fighting with Sam over the cereal, 'Hide dotting on Annabelle…)

(Until we heard Optimus shout.)

(We all dropped what we were doing and rushed to Optimus' quarters.)

(Optimus rarely shouts, even when the Twins and I break something important, so we were all freaking out.)

(As soon as we got to Optimus' room, Ironhide motioned for the rest of us to wait in the hall while he went ahead.)

(There were a few seconds of tense silence before we heard Ironhide shout as well.)

(Lennox sternly told us all to wait outside as well as he and Ratchet went in next.)

(Their shouts were heard seconds later.)

(Not being able to stand it any longer, Sam, Leo, and I gathered our courage and rushed in after our friends…)

(Only to get knocked down to the floor as something slimy and green splashed down on top of us.)

(Stumbling to our feet, we looked at ourselves and found our bodies covered in…slime?)

(Optimus, Ironhide, Lennox, and Ratchet were coated in it as well, grumbling and cursing from their spots in the room.)

(Suddenly we all heard laughter above us, and we all looked up to see Sunny and 'Sides hunkering in the rafters, holding a now empty and dripping slime coated bucket.)

(With how fast Ironhide and Ratchet were shooting at them, I'm surprised they made it down in one piece.)

(The Twins' pedes had barely touched the ground before Ratchet and "Hide chased after them.)

(Optimus made no move to stop them as he went off to get cleaned up.)

(Probably one of the worst punishments that he could have given the Twins.)

**137. Do not try the Cinnamon Challenge. **

(How hard could it be?)

(All the YouTube videos of the challenge looked pretty over-dramatic.)

(I bet I could do it.)

(Leo was skeptical, but he helped me gather together some spoons and cinnamon all the same.)

(Sam was also skeptical, but willing to take on the challenge.)

(Mikaela already knew what was going to happen, so she brought a video camera along to record everything without us knowing.)

(Grabbing our spoons of cinnamon, we waited for the already recording Mikaela to say when.)

(At her signal, we all put the spoons in our mouths and waited.)

(After a few seconds, I felt my mouth get really dry and I tried to swallow, only to find that I couldn't.)

(My eyes started to tear up and I started waving my hands around in the air in a effort to keep the cinnamon in my mouth.)

(Looking around, I saw that Leo and Sam had similar looks of desperation on their faces.)

(After another few seconds, I couldn't take it anymore.)

(I spoofed.)

(And as soon as I did it, Sam and Leo spoofed their mouthfuls as well.)

(Cinnamon flew everywhere.)

(Clouds of it were in the air and Sam, Leo, and I dissolved into a coughing fit.)

(Rushing for the sink, I grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down, Leo and Sam right on my tail, not even waiting to grab a glass.)

(As soon as our coughing had subsided, we all just stood there gasping, until we heard laughter behind us.)

(It was Mikaela…waving the video recorder…she had gotten the whole thing.)

"YouTube is going to love this."

(Leo, Sam, and I shared one collective look…before chasing Mikaela down for that tape.)

(Not only to protect our dignities, but to prevent Ratchet from seeing it.)

(He'd have us in the Med Bay for weeks, ranting about collapsed lugs and the like.)

**138. You are not a hypnotist. **

(I was watching a cool video on YouTube about this hypnotist hypnotizing this woman to make her think that she was all these crazy things.)

(He made her believe that she was a wrestler one time and it was hilarious watching her try to give a volunteer the smack down.)

(As soon as the video was over, I began to get some pretty devious ideas.)

(Running off to go find what I needed for my plot to work, I began to snicker.)

(This was gonna be great.)

(The next morning, I returned to base with a pocket watch in hand, ready to pick my first unlucky hypno victim.)

(But first, I had to make sure that the watch would work, and Wheelie just so happened to be the closest mech.)

(After several seconds of the shiny pocket watch swinging in front of his faceplates, I had Wheelie totally under my control.)

(For the rest of the day, Wheelie was a cowboy, complete with his own little imaginary horse.)

(Now that I knew that my trick worked, I went to test it out on the others.)

(Ratchet became a ballerina, Sam became a clown, Leo became a gorilla, and Brains became a Spanish soap opera starlet.)

(Nobody knew exactly what the MiniCon was crying about, or what he was even saying, but it sure was hilarious to watch.)

(Seeing all my victims parade around, I soon started to get cocky.)

(There was one 'Bot that really needed to let his inner hen shine.)

(Sneaking up behind Ironhide, I dangled the pocket watch in front of his faceplates and tried to hypnotize him into acting like a chicken.)

(Big mistake.)

(Ironhide was a tough cookie and harder to hypnotize than the others.)

(He snatched my watch away from me and crushed it in his servo.)

(Now I have to save up for another watch, mostly because I need it to change everyone back.)

(We had to lock Leo up in his room for a week because he started to attack people with his hypno gorilla powers for food.)

(Ironhide locked me in there with him.)

(I will never be able to look at Leo or a gorilla the same way again.)

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><p>Such a long Chapter! Sorry if your all worn out now. I can see you all thinking "It never ends!" I hope that your respective Rule was good in your book! Happy Easter! May he bring you all many plot bunnies instead of candy! Aw, who am I kidding! Chocolate's epic! XD See you all next Chapter. P.S. Pointing out my mistakes makes me happy! :D *winkwinknudgenudge*<p> 


	31. Chapter 31

Tardy! Sorry! Decepticon computer is acting up again. Other than that, this Chapter is mostly my Rules. Sorry if you're anxiously waiting for your Rule to appear. It's coming! I promise! Next Chapter might have yours in it. No Rule ever gets turned down. :) Oh! And thank you all! I finally hit 300 reviews! I do believe that the 300th reviewer was xXAutocon-LeaderXx. Thanks! :D *throws confetti and hands you a slice of Energon cake* One this last note, I have yet to respond to all your reviews and stuff. *rubs back of head* I'm getting right on that. *hunches over computer and types furiously* Thanks for reading! :D P.S. Rules #139 and #141 are kinda of an opposite thing. As if Willa was with the Decepticons and not the Autobots. *shrugs* I might do that more often. Feel free to send in Decepticon Rules! :) Primus knows Starscream will thank you. XD

Mikaela the Cat gets all the Credit for Rule #142 with KITT causing excitement.

**Osprey2012: **Oh yes. Especially after DOTM! He'll be even more paranoid around Mojo than before! Poor 'Hide. Jetfire is one crazy old mech. It's the crazy ones that are fun to mess with. He rants more than Ratchet. Those random speeches that he rambles off on are enough to drive anyone crazy and he does get offended easy! XD "BACK IN MY DAY!" and "DON'T GET SNIPPY WITH ME FLESHLING!" And yes. Goggles are a must. A 'say it, don't spray it' Rule needs to be made. XD Thanks for the Ideas! They're epic! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Optimus' girl: ** Totally! Both of you have really awesome Rules for this little collection. I promise to use them all. :) That's probably one of that coolest days to have your birthday on. That and Halloween. Free candy on your birthday! But anyway, I'm getting off subject. Happy (really late) birthday! :D And thanks for saying that my Fic is funny. I'm glad that it's making you laugh! :D Jetfire is amazing. He sacrificed himself for Optimus! He's epic in my book. :) But yeah, leaving him with the Twins would be disastrous. Bored Twins are not a good thing! XD And Sentinel...He was kinda okay, but then he killed 'Hide and now I can't stand him. I'd love a go at him too! Getting off subject again, thanks for the Ideas, they're really good. :) Thanks also for reading and reviewing. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *rushes into room, clutching laptop and piles of paper* Late! Late! Very, very late! They're gonna-! *skids to a halt* Oh...Heh heh. Hi guys... *sees all the Autobots glaring towards me*

Ironhide: Squishy. You're late.

Me: I know I know! Sorry! I'm working on it right now! If you'll just let me sit down and finish this last-! *is cut off by one of Sideswipe's arm blades* Meep!

Ratchet: No. You finish now. No excuses.

Me: Slave drivers! Give me some time!

Optimus: Little one, I believe that it would be in your best interests to finish and post as soon as possible. I can not hold my mechs back any longer.

Me: *sweats* Point made. Working now! *sits down where I stand and starts to furiously type* It'll be up momentarily. Why don't you all just..hang out until then. Maybe play a game or something?

Ironhide: The only game that I want to play right now is Red Rover.

Me: That was a thinly veiled threat and you know it! Besides. This laptop is my force field! Squish it and you might as well squish yourselves! Broken laptop means no more updates! Ha ha!

Jazz: Allow me. *pulls laptop to his servo with magnet* You were saying?

Me: ! How is that even possible! *sighs in defeat* Fine. Anyway, StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. Can I have my laptop back now?

Ratchet: No. Staring at that screen like you do is horrible for your eyes. No laptop for the rest of the day. Doctors orders.

Me: D:

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><p><strong>139. Do NOT scratch Knock Out's finish.<strong>

(If you value your life at all.)

(He's very meticulous of it.)

(Almost to the point of no return.)

(I found this out the hard way when I was watching the Eradicons train.)

(Knock Out was supervising for any serious injuries, but not really paying attention.)

(He just sat in the corner, polishing his buzz saw, oblivious to anyone but himself.)

(But the fighting Eradicons kept getting closer and closer to the medic.)

(Finally, in a huge push of power, the conquering Eradicon threw his opponent over his shoulder…)

(And right onto Knock Out.)

(There was a horrible sound of screeching metal as the pair tumbled down into a pile of tangled limbs.)

(Before the winning Eradicon could even bend over to help disentangle the two, the losing Eradicon was thrown off and onto the standing Eradicon by Knock Out himself.)

(The medic had a look of pure fury on his faceplates as he inspected his chassis and arms.)

"You scratched my new finish. This finish took me ages to apply. I'll have your heads!"

(Knock Out then charged at the two shocked Eradicons, buzz saw whirring to life as it was activated, ready to do some serious slicing and dicing.)

(I'd suggest hiding behind Megatron in order to get their Lord to order the medic to stand down but A: Megatron might care less and allow Knock Out to go about his business, or B: Knock Out would just ignore orders and try to hack at the doomed Eradicons anyway.)

(Either was, the medical berth was going to have an occupant by the end of the day.)

**140. Do not call Megatron a 'Divasaurus'.**

(It was a boring night and I was yet again procrastinating.)

(The Internet was calling!)

(Seeing as how I was off the base, I could get on any site that I wanted without hitting the block.)

(So I freely browsed some Fics on Fanfiction while waiting for a reply from Mikaela at the same time.)

(We were E-Mailing each other back and forth, both avoiding things that really needed to be done.)

(We were both making up funny nicknames for the Decepticons.)

(Megatron was our current target and our favorite nickname so far was 'Divasaurus'.

('Diva' because he tends to overact about the whole Lord thing and the huge melodramatic speeches that he makes about how he's going to take Optimus down are a bit taxing.)

('Saurus' because he's probably way older than the dinosaurs.)

(While Mikaela and I laughed over the nickname, Soundwave was inconspicuously hacking into our laptops, viewing our new E-Mails and sending them to his Lord.)

(Seconds later, my laptop dinged with a new message from an unknown sender.)

(Warily opening it up, expecting a virus or something, I was really surprised at the huge, threatening capital letters that the E-Mail was composed of.)

(Turns out the E-Mail was sent by Soundwave and written by Megatron, basically threatening Mikaela and I that he would hunt us down and terminate us if we continued to use the 'Divasaurus' nickname.)

(Rapidly closing the E-Mail and shutting my laptop down, I sweated a bit.)

(Point made!)

**141. Do not comment on Starscream's appearance.**

(You can't NOT break this Rule once you lay your eyes or optics on his pedes.)

"DEM HEELS!"

(Or his little red finial.)

"Da da…Da da…Da da da da da da da da…DA DA DA DUM!"

(Starscream acts like he hates it when I poke fun at his appearance…)

(Especially when I sing the new "Sexy And I Know It" song that I made up for him when he passes by me.)

"When I walk out on the bridge, this is what I see. All the Vehicons standing there, staring at me. Imma gonna be their Lord and I ain't afraid to gloat it gloat it gloat it gloat it…I'M STARSCREAM AND I KNOW IT!"

(He'll fire his cannons at me for a couple hours and thrown a couple curse words at me for my trouble…)

(But he preens later when he thinks that we're not looking.)

(I think I even heard him humming the "Starscream And I Know It" tune.)

**142. Do not watch 'Knight Rider' with the Autobots.**

(All they needed to see was the talking Trans AM, KITT.)

(KITT does kinda seem like a Cybertronian though, doesn't he.)

(To bad that the 'Bots thought that he was a real Cybertronian, living in secret, waiting patiently to be called to his respective side.)

(Or something like that.)

(Optimus was very moving and waxing on poetic when he started talking about it.)

(I tried to convince the mechs that it was just movie magic and that the Trans AM was just a regular car and not really talking or alive in any way.)

(But the 'Bots were so excited at the possibility of a new ally that they didn't listen to me.)

(They all transformed into their alt modes and peeled out of the base, off to the movie studio that made Knight Rider in search of KITT.)

(I'm not looking forward to them returning, having the hopes crushed like that…)

(But I do wish I could be there to see the reactions of the studio guys when they see Optimus in semi mode drive up and ask about KITT.)

(Priceless.)

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><p>Done! Were they funny? Stupid? See a mistake? Pretty please with Energon sprinkles on top point them out to me! :D Sorry my AN's up top keep getting longer and longer. I can't seem to put a lid on it! X) Anyhoo! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	32. Chapter 32

Another Chapter. Yay! Let's just skip to the good stuff, yeah? Okay. :) But before I do that, I wanna let you all know that I extremely appreciate all your reviews that you amazing people left me. It's taking waayyy longer than I would like to review to them all and I could make up a million excuses about why I have yet to send them out, but you don't really care about those. But I will respond to them all. Thank you sooo much for leaving them. :)

Crissy-Fenix-Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #146 with Prowl being convinced to squish bugs.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #144 with the Twins taking it a bit too far.

elita13 gets all the Credit for Rule #145 with yet another website banned.

Iceshadow911247 gets all the Credit for #143 with a prank traumatizing Sideswipe.

**Osprey2012: **I have no Idea who the winner of that contest would be. Totally epic to see though! XD That would be one for the books! Love the Idea! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Midnight Prime: **Your welcome! :D Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Optimus' girl: **I'll have to. :) Faking sick around Ratchet is never a good idea. XD And touching his tools is a definite no-no. Though I'm sorry to say that those two Rules have been done before and were already given to me by other people. Rule #63 for the Ratchet tools one and Rule #132 for the sick one. Sorry! I'd love to use any other Ideas you have! The other Idea that you gave me was great. Every time I see that scene on TP I crack up. XD Do you mind if I twist it a bit, I'm kinda against slash, but I'm sure as heck not against Knock Out snarkily making things interesting! He just loves to make things awkward. "Sweet Rims" indeed! I'll still use your Idea, but not as a slash thing. Sorry if that offends you or anything. Feel free to deny me from using your Idea. As for Megatron, he really does need a chill pill. He's such a Drama Queen. XD I'm glad you're enjoying the Rules. :) Thanks for the Ideas, for reading, and for the reviews. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers. Short, simple, and to the point. Just like Wheelie.

Wheelie: Wha' was that you said?

Me: Noth-Argh! *is tackled by enraged Wheelie*

Wheelie: This is what you get for calling me short!

* * *

><p><strong>143. Stop tormenting Sideswipe.<strong>

(After I found out about Sideswipe's little phobia of germs…I couldn't leave well enough alone.)

(Sideswipe was glitching hard from all the sick pranks that I kept puling on him.)

(He took to edging across the halls when he was passing me, but I had to get him one last time.)

(Since 'Sides was used to the fake vomiting and exaggerated sneezing, I had to go for a more subtle attack.)

(Grabbing a spray bottle and a pile of books, I searched out our favorite prankster in the halls.)

(As soon as 'Sides started to edge around me, I threw back my head and let out a huge fake sneeze, ducking my head into my books as I did so.)

('Sides flinched and made to run, but before he could get anywhere, I had already sprayed him with my spray bottle.)

(Sideswipe took one look at the wet, gooey stain on his chassis, before letting out a screech that could compete with Starscream's.)

"GET SOME HOT WATER! DISINFECTANT! GERMS! DISGUSTING HUMAN GERMS!"

(Thank Primus for the recording device on my phone.)

(Though after Sideswipe scrambled to Ratchet to be disinfected, he found out that what I had sprayed on him was just water, and he took it upon himself to hunt me down and squish my phone before I could share the recording with anyone.)

**144. Do not allow the Twins to watch 'Scare Tactics'. **

(You wanna wakeup call? Try having Sideswipe run onto base, bawling his optics out, barely able to utter a word past his blubbering.)

(All we could get out of him was something that sounded like 'Sunny', 'terminated', and 'Cybonic Plague'.)

(After that, we all kind of freaked.)

(Ratchet immediately whisked 'Sides to the Med Bay, giving him enough medical scans to last him a lifetime, quizzing him about what happened to Sunny and whether or not he was infected.)

('Sides just kept blubbering until suddenly, he grabbed onto his neck and spun around in a circle, something spraying from his mouth.)

(Most of it landed on the surrounding mechs that had come to check out the drama, but some landed on me as well.)

(Ratchet flipped and immediately sprang into action.)

"Cybonic Plague! It spreads by infected Energon! Everyone who was even slightly touched by the smallest drop of Sideswipe's Energon needs to report to the Med Bay NOW!"

(I'm pretty sure that I let out a tiny panicked scream as I looked down at my arm and saw some blue, glowing drops on it, along with everyone else around me.)

(There was a mad dash for the Med Bay as everyone tried to get out into the small hallway at once, thoroughly jamming themselves like sardines.)

(After a few more hours of all around panic, Optimus finally arrived and ordered for complete silence.)

(It got so quiet that you could hear a pin drop…except for some hysterical laughing in the background.)

(Those still in the hanger saw 'Sides, tears now dry, doubled over with laughter.)

"Were you all scared? Pointless question, but guess what? You all just got pranked! Courtesy of 'Scare Tactics', Sunny, and I."

(Everyone stared at him for about two seconds before it all clicked…this was a prank.)

(There were loads of sighs or relief and even more cries of outrage, but the worst was from Ratchet who was looking like he had a huge, violent rant building.)

(But before he could even get a word out, Optimus held up a servo for silence, and gestured for 'Sides to follow him, a cold, disapproving on his faceplates.)

(The prank was in poor taste, but seeing that look on Optimus' faceplates makes me feel kinda bad for 'Sides and Sunny.)

**145. The site 'thinkgeek .com' is banned from base.**

(Ratchet was calmly cleaning off his medical tools in the Med Bay, completely oblivious to anyone around him.)

(That was my cue to stir up some trouble.)

(So, gathering up all my recent purchases from a new site that I had found, I went out to set my plan into action.)

(Operation: Make Ratchet Glitch.)

(At first, Ratchet didn't take well to being rudely interrupted from his few moments of silence.)

(I had invited him down to the cafeteria to join a few of us in a healthy meal.)

(I told him that we were all eating McDonalds.)

(Seconds later, we all braced ourselves when we heard Ratchet storming down the hallway to the cafeteria, yelling about how 'McDonalds food was from the Pit' and 'how dare we eat it while his spark was still online' or something like that.)

(He barged into the cafeteria, expecting to see fast food bags everywhere, but saw something completely different.)

(Leo was clutching something strongly resembling a human heart in his hands and was gnawing away on it happily, a gooey red liquid running down his chin as he did.)

(Sam and I were eating out of a sparkly can with a picture of a unicorn on it, commenting on how fresh unicorn meat really was the other white meat.)

(Even Lennox was there, snacking out of a bag that was clearly labeled 'Zombie Jerky', a piece of molted green something in between his jaws.)

(Ratchet took on good look at all the foods that we were eating…and promptly glitched.)

(Optimus had to be called in after we had all finished dying of laughter, but we had no idea how to revive a glitched medic…)

(Too bad Autobots don't come with instruction manuals…)

**146. Don't over exaggerate to the Autobots.**

(Everybody knows that I'm terrified of bugs.)

(Everyone used to let me stomp the slag out of them whenever I spotted one, but after they saw 'Bug's Life', they made me stop.)

(But then they got tired of my high pitched screams and frantic calls for someone to rescue me from the creepy crawlies.)

(Now they let me stomp on them again.)

(One day, as I was stomping the slag out of a spider, Prowl asked me why I was so scared of bugs.)

(With many dramatic hand gestures, I explained that spiders were slithery, slimy, furry, eight-legged parasites that slowly invaded your body when you least expected it and when you were at your weakest…)

(Only to slowly injecting you with their venom and their eggs so that your very own body starts to fail you as their hatched spawn starts to eat their way out of you, your very muscles turning to liquid in the process.)

(I may have been overexerting a tiny bit, but did I mention that I really don't like any type of creepy crawly?)

(I presented a picture to Prowl of a huge, nasty looking octopus and told him that octopus basically remind me of spiders.)

(Prowl was watching me with undivided attention while I described all this and more to him.)

(At the end of my explanation, I shivered and left Prowl to his thoughts and a pile of squished spider guts, thinking that my explanations had no effect on him.)

(Later, I caught him thoroughly smashing a spider with his precious data pad.)

(I have convinced another…)

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><p>If you see ANY spelling or grammar mistakes, please let me know! It literally makes my day a bit when you point them out to me. All those little mistakes like 'form' instead of 'from'. My eyes slide over them when I'm proofreading. Missing words too. Anything. Also, feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

****So last Friday's post...*rubs back of head* Taking place of the Angel and Devil on my shoulder was Ratchet, who was demanding me to finish replying to all the reviews before posting, and Optimus, who was saying that I should just post regardless. I decided to listen to Ratchet because he was more threatening and no one can stand up to him in full out rant mode. TnT So sorry about that. Hopefully this batch of Rules will make up for my lack of posting.

TheChippedCup gets all the credit for Rule #145 with a food living up to its name.

Optimus' girl gets all the credit for Rule #143 with a lumber party game going bad.

xXAutocon-LeaderXx gets all the credit for Rule #144 with a poor confused 'Bee.

Starscream's Prime gets all the credit for Rule #146 with unicorns being an annoyance.

**T.M.D: **XD You're welcome! I'll be sure to use another one of yours in the next Chapter. :) And thanks for telling me which cat goes to which 'Bot! I would have never figured that out on my own. TvT Those books do sound really good. It's just now there's, what, four different series and stuff? I have no idea where to start! XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. :)

**Optimus' girl: **Definitly. I know I was. :( Poor Knock Out. As for your new Rules, they are funny! XD Especially the one about Silverbolt. Leader of the Aerialbots and he's got a fear of heights. Poor mech. And as for the one about sneaking out to catch Decepticons, there's no sneaking past Optimus. It's like he's got optics in the back of his helm! XD Gotta love him though. X) Thanks for reading, the reviews, and for the Ideas. They're great!

**ratchetsfangirl:** Couldn't PM you so I'll just leave you a message here. It's kinda long though! XD When I saw Starscream get his old arm blown off in 'Shadowzone' I wanted Knock Out to do some revenge for scratching his finish in 'Speed Metal'. But no, he just fixed him up. I thought Knock Out would be more devious than that. X) I'm glad that you liked it. :) I would have paid to see Starscream's reaction too! XD Classic. I already know who your first favorite character is by looking at your username. You only have to look at my user picture to see who mine is. XD Gotta love Ratchet though! 'Stronger, Faster' is my favorite episode because it has KO and Ratchet together, duking it out, banter and all. XD Glad it wasn't OOC. As for the Rules, can't you just see him squishing one like that! XD I share your dislike of the things. *shiver* Totally nasty. And you're welcome for the fav! At first it wouldn't show up on my page, so I deleted it and tried again. I dunno if you got both messages, but if you did and were wondering what was up, it's because I'm impatient and I rarely read what's in green at the top if the pages. ^^; Sorry about that! Loved the quiz! I really was thinking that I'd get higher but stalker is good! XD And we shall take over and find out where the government is actually hiding the Autobots! XD As for your Ideas, I haven't read that book but I heard that it is really sad. I'll have to see if my library has it for a quick read. Tissue box ready. And I haven't done the Friday Song. Autobots…prepare yourselves. *inserts earplugs* Leo could be out human representative on the Guitar Hero contest while Sideswipe or Bumblebee was pitted again him. That contest would be one to see! XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: Too...Much...AN...*gasps for air*

Sideswipe: Maybe you should work more and talk less. That might help.

Me: Look who's talking!

Sideswipe: But not as much as you.

Me: *glares* StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers.

* * *

><p><strong>143. Never play 'Truth or Dare' with the Lambo Twins.<strong>

(Another innocent human game right?)

(But when playing with the Autobots, I'm starting to believe that no game is innocent.)

(Take 'Truth or Dare'.)

(Sideswipe and Sunstreaker laughed their afts off when I described human slumber parties.)

(But when I described how to play Truth or Dare and they immediately wanted to play.)

(Mikaela joined in and the game began.)

(I should have known something was up when it was only Mikaela and I calling Truth.)

('Sides and Sunny only called out Dare.)

(And the Dares that they picked for each other kept getting more and more dangerous.)

(The last one had Sideswipe go into the Med Bay and actually give Ratchet a hug.)

(I thought that 'Sides would be scrapped in minutes by the violent medic.)

(But I was proved wrong when Sideswipe ran out of the Med Bay, still online, cackling madly as wrenches and curse words were thrown after him.)

(He escaped…this time.)

(I'm worried that the Dares are going to be centered around Optimus and Ironhide soon…)

**144. Bumblebee is Bumblebee. Not Wasp.**

(In the list of alternate universes that I showed the Autobots to freak them out included one called 'Transformers Animated'.)

(Bumblebee was reading over the details of that universe with curiosity, laughing at the huge chins that everyone had.)

(He saw the human that they had allied themselves with, Sari, and all the alt modes, liking their current ones better.)

(He was jealous that his alternate dimension self could actually talk and was not confined to the radio.)

(Then, he got to a certain character named Wasp.)

('Bee was confused, thinking Wasp looked kinda familiar.)

(After doing a bit more research, he found out that Wasp was Bumblebee, or rather, alternate dimension Bumblebee.)

('Bee kinda freaked out at that.)

(Everything had changed from his paint job to his way of speaking and even his personality.)

(Bumblebee was totally wrong. Wasp and Animated Bumblebee were two completely different 'Bots.)

(I still had to convince 'Bee all over again that the alternate dimensions wouldn't come true because of the prevention that the 'Bots had taken by being nice to humans.)

(But poor 'Bee was still convinced that he was going to lose it and have split personalities or something.)

(I couldn't really make out was he was trying to tell me because he was switching his radio stations so fast.)

**145. Never eat a Sloppy Joe around First Aid.**

(Two words describe First Aid.)

(Neat. Freak.)

(He watches you like a hawk when you eat around him.)

(I had decided to bring my lunch to base.)

(All it was was and innocent little Sloppy Joe, but before I had even gotten to take a bite, I felt someone staring at me and turned to see First Aid glaring at me, optic twitching.)

(Unnerved, I left the cafeteria and tried to ignore him so I could enjoy my lunch in peace, but he kept following me.)

(I tried to finish my lunch in every room on base except for the bathroom, but he still kept following me.)

(I eventually gave up out of hunger and started to chow down right where I was.)

(The first bite was a bit messy with sauce dripping all over the floor.)

(First Aid looked at the drips in horror, and before I could even blink, he was on his servos and knees scrubbing it up.)

(Figuring that I could have some fun, I went all around the base, leaving a thick trail of meat and sauce in my wake.)

(This was not a good idea.)

(After most of my sandwich was gone, I felt a sudden earthquake behind me, causing me to drop the remains of my sandwich on the floor.)

(I whirled around to see Optimus sprawled out on the floor in a pile of sauce.)

(It turns out that he had slipped…)

(On the sauce.)

(And he wasn't happy about it.)

(I booked it before they could pin the sauce incident on me, and because of that, they never found out exactly where the sauce had come from.)

(Until First Aid ratted me out.)

(As punishment, I had to clean up the rest of the sauce under First Aid's meticulous watch.)

**146.** '**Charlie the Unicorn' is banned from base.**

"It's the Banana King Charlie!"

(Ironhide didn't take to being labeled 'The Banana King' to well.)

(Especially when we buried him in banana's while he was in recharge.)

(I think his breaking point was when we all made him a huge crown that had the words 'Banana King' on it.)

(The base is now covered in melted, mushy, and charbroiled bananas…)

"Shhhhhhuuuuunnnnn-naaa"

(We would follow certain trouble prone 'Bots around.)

(Every time one of them was getting chewed out by Ratchet, Prowl, 'Hide, or Optimus, we would chime in with a long, drawn out shun.)

(It was funny the first couple times, until the 'Bots patience started to wear thin.)

(Ratchet countered with an exasperated 'Shhhhuuuuuttttt uuupppp!'.)

"I LOVE YOU!"

(The 'Bots were quietly relaxing in their hanger, reading through some data pads or recharging.)

(Suddenly, I popped in and screamed out 'STARFISH! I LOVE YOU!' and ducked back out.)

(I didn't get to see their reactions, but I heard some startled smashing and crashing along with feeling a couple mini earthquakes from 'Bots falling over.)

(I'm pretty sire that I heard a couple rounds go off from Ironhide's cannon.)

(Never startle a sleeping weapons specialist.)

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><p>Finished. Kinda sloppy and choppy in my opinion, but my opinion does not matter! What did you all think about this set of Rules? Funny? Cheesy? Just plain stupid? Feel free to let me know by dropping a review if you have the time! :) Thanks for reading!<p> 


	34. Chapter 34

****Friday update! Whoot! Okay. Long Chapter of your guys Rules to make up for my lack of post that one time. Let's get on with it shall we? :)

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #147 with the Autobots starting to be wary of ships.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #148 with the Decepticons actually being nice.

futuremckaychick gets all the Credit for Rule #149 with Loki making a gender change.

MissShelz gets all the Credit for Rule #151 with frozen turkeys becoming deadly.

Angelzodica013 gets all the Credit for Rule #150 with secrets being spilled.

**Optimus' girl: **XD Poor Wheeljack. I'll be sure to leave Credit for both you and AutobotV. Just to cover all the Credit giving and stuff. :) Love the switching tools Rule. Ratchet would probably be less than pleased when he found out that his tools made squeaky noises and were made of rubber or plastic. X) As for the Rule about Jetfire, dang old 'Bot. He may act like a crazy old codger but he can be pretty devious when he wants to. XD The Nemesis Prime Rule is also a good one. Optimus must be really sick and tired to people asking him if they were twins. Brig time it is. X) They do kind of look alike except for their paint jobs. Sorry Optimus! XD

**gabby:** Thanks! Glad you're enjoying them. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D

Disclaimer:

Me: HULK SMASH!

Ironhide: What in Primus are you doing?

Me: Me just saw Avengers! Me buy Hulk gloves to celebrate! Me now Hulk! Hulk smash!

Ironhide: It's amazing how simple you humans are sometime...

Me: Puny mech just jealous of Hulk's amazing sterength! *punches Ironhide with Hulk gloves* !

Ironhide: *smirks* What's wrong Hulk? Where's your 'amazing strength'? Does your hand hurt?

Me: *hobbles off, painfully clutching hand* No! *whimpers* This not over. Me StoleTheSpider no own Transformers.

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><p><strong>147. Do not allow the 'Bots to watch Titanic.<strong>

(Most of the 'Bots had heard of the famous shipwreck from the Internet and stuff, but were curious to learn more.)

(So when I announced that I was commandeering the Autobot's huge TV to watch Titanic, they decided to watch it with me.)

(The huge screen really set the mood, along with the kick aft sound system.)

(All in all, the movie was a success, but the reactions that the 'Bots had to it were not what I was expecting.)

(When Titanic hit the iceberg and started to break up into pieces, Ironhide flipped.)

(Lennox was currently on some kind of battleship and Ironhide wanted to fly there immediately and 'rescue' him.)

(Apparently he didn't know how weak our primitive human ships were and how they couldn't be trusted.)

(When Rose and Jack were in the water, about to be separated forever by the water's freezing embrace, I started tearing up…again.)

(But I was comforted in the fact that I wasn't the only one moved by the scene. 'Bee and 'Sides were sniffing too.)

(Ratchet took one look at all the poor people freezing to death in the water and was immediately captivated.)

(Ever experimenting with the effects of random substances on the human body, Ratchet wanted to test to see just how much cold the human body can take.)

(He had to be thoroughly discouraged from experimenting by Optimus to prevent him from dipping me in a tub of freezing water.)

(No one knows why Ratchet is weird with all that medical stuff.)

(Frankly it's kinda scary sometimes.)

**148. Don't show the Shattered Glass universe to Decepticons.**

(Seeing what kind of reaction that the Autobots had, I just had to show the 'Cons.)

(Their reactions were even more classic than the ones that the 'Bots had.)

(Megatron took one look at his human loving alternate and flipped.)

(He went off somewhere…I'm not to sure where and I'm kinda afraid to find out.)

(Later, when watching the news, I saw that several human suburbs had been blown to bits.)

(No one was hurt, but looking at the damage that the 'unknown attacker' had done sent chills down my spine.)

(Megatron must have been more shocked by the info than I thought.)

(Starscream saw his alternate actually getting along with Megatron and not trying to bump him off in his quest for power and reacted just like Megatron.)

(He started plotting even more ways for Megatron have an…unfortunate accident and result in Starscream becoming Lord.)

(Barricade's alternate self was the strangest…he had a cat.)

(Needless to say, poor Barricade is getting lots of jeers, jibes, and cat calls now.)

(The only difference between the Autobots and the Decepticons is that the 'Cons didn't swarm me with questions on how to prevent the alternate universe from coming true.)

(That's only because I was too busy running for my life as they shot at me to show me just how much they hated humans in order to prove the alternate universes wrong.)

(Ungrateful fraggers.)

**149. Loki is not a positive role model.**

(I had just seen the Avengers movie.)

(It was fraggin' epic!)

(Blew my mind.)

(So in order to spread its awesomeness to everyone on the base, I decided to come to the base dressed up as my favorite character and current role model.)

(Loki.)

(I swaggered around the base all day, pointing my foam scepter at 'Bots and humans alike, ordering them all to kneel before me.)

(Everyone either ignored me, or kneeled just to get me to shut up.)

(The non-kneelers got a whack from my scepter for their trouble.)

(Eventually, my latest dress up ended just like most of the others.)

(With Ratchet and/or Ironhide finally losing their patience with me and smashing my props and costume to smithereens.)

(They even smashed my goat horn helmet…)

(It's okay though. Wait 'till they see me life size arc reactor!)

**150. Stop 'spilling' about Megatron.**

(The Decepticon Second in Command actually started this one.)

(He made some biting comment to his Lord one day about how he must have been dropped on his head as a sparkling and that's why all his plans fail.)

(He got a pretty thorough smack down from Megatron for that, but it got me thinking.)

(The next time that I saw Optimus and Megatron together in battle, I shouted out…)

"Hey Megatron! Optimus told me all about your little secret! I never knew that you leaked Energon in your berth as a sparking!"

(Megatron whirled around to look at Optimus with a look on his faceplates that was a strange mixture of hurt, anger and _embarrassment_ on his face.)

(Optimus got a huge deer in headlights look and immediately denied ever telling this little tidbit to me.)

(They got into this huge argument about how Megatron had thought better of this brother and how Optimus swore that he did not betray his brother's secrets.)

(What I think is pretty hilarious is that I totally made the 'rumor' up on the fly.)

(I had no idea that it would actually be true…)

(Getting chewed out by Optimus later and being on Megatron's personal hate list is kind of worth this.)

**151. Do not test frozen turkeys against the Autobots.**

(I told them that there was one adversary that they could not best.)

(And it was…the frozen turkey.)

(Ironhide scoffed at their opponent, but he was underestimating the poultry.)

(I knew its inner strength.)

(So, gathering up all the 'Bots who thought that they could withstand the brutal attacks of the frozen birds, I took them and a huge bag of frozen turkeys down to the weapons range.)

(There, I loaded up my custom made turkey cannon, courtesy of Wheeljack, and fired away.)

(The first unfortunate victim was Sideswipe as he was whacked in the helm by a wayward bird and went down with a loud crash.)

(Bumblebee went next with a hit to the chassis, and Sunstreaker soon followed.)

(One after the other, 'Bots took hits from the turkeys and fell, groaning and moaning, onto the weapon range floor.)

(Ironhide was soon the only one left standing.)

(He had successfully turned the birds into charbroiled ash in midair with his cannon when any started to fly in his general direction.)

(But now he was my only target.)

(Changing the turkey cannon's setting from 'stun' to 'ooh that's got to fraggin' hurt', I locked and loaded.)

(I'll give Ironhide credit for withstanding the turkey onslaught for a few minutes, but after a while he began to tire and soon fell under the frozen turkey's fury.)

(I blew some imaginary smoke form the top of my cannon and surveyed the turkey's work.)

(Broken windows, dented metal, chipped armor, busted tires, etc.)

(Ratchet was going to be in for a Pit of a time and a few all nighters to fix this mess.)

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><p>So? Did you like your respective Rule? Hope it was okay. Also, if you see any spelling or grammar mistakes, please point them out to me. I love it when people point out my mistakes! Feel free to point them out to me in a review or let me know what you think if you have the time. :)<p> 


	35. Chapter 35

Better late than never, yeah? Well, it's just a few days late. Anyhoo, this Chapter is mostly my Rules, but next Chapter will be back to yours again. Enjoy! :D

Iceshadow911247 gets all the Credit for #155 with Bumblebee having a devastating kicked puppy look.

**Complete-Global-Saturation: **Aw yeah Avengers. :D I'd love to see Leo pretend struggling to pick up a fake plastic Thor Hammer. Ironhide'd pick it up and see how light it is and give him all the more reason from him to believe how weird we humans are. XD Dressing up and acting like like Thor would be epic too! As for inviting the Avengers to the base, looks like Simmons is going to be pulling some strings and we'll have another celebrity appearance. X) Wonder how they'll react to the 'Bots? Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. :)

**Sesshykiss13: **Thanks. :) Monster's Inc is a definite. XD Ironhide would stand guard by Annabelle's closet for weeks! Mulan is a classic. Maybe Lennox and 'Hide could make the rest of the guys do some of the training stuff that they did in the movie. Like the pole climb with only the amulets. And I'm pretty sure that Optimus would glitch if he saw those two kids shows. I'm getting chills just thinking about them. The 'Bots would totally not understand the shows like Bleach and Dragonball Z. I'd love to see their reactions. X) Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. :)

**Ryukapple:** Gotta love tormenting Megatron! XD That is until he get's really PO'd and starts firing off rounds. Then we should all start running. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Optimus' girl:** I'll have to check out that Fic. Sounds hilarious! XD Poor Wheeljack. To much luvin' for him. And yeah, letting the 'Bots plan the meals would not be a god thing. Ratchet would be the worst. And Optimus is really hard to prank. It's like he can read minds or something! XD And I'd love to do some of those things in his truck mode. I'd be the worst peanut gallery passenger ever. I can see Sam and Leo doing some of these too. Gotta love testing the boundaries of the patience of the Autobot Leader. One of these days he's gonna snap...Hopefully not too soon. XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. I love them. :)

**T.M.D: **Thanks! And thanks for checking for mistakes. They tend to slip by me sometimes. And Beetlejuice is an amazing movie. Letting the 'Bots watch it is probably not the best idea though...X) Let me know when you finish the Warrior Cat/Autobots story! I may not have read the books, but I'll be sire to read your Fic when you finish it. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D

Disclaimer:

Ironhide: *walks in* Agh! Decepticon! *pulls cannons out of subspace and points them at me*

Me: Wagh! Ironhide! It's me!

Ironhide: *splutters* Why are you dressed like the Decepticon Medic!

Me: ...Because he's cool...and funny...and snarky...Why? You don't like Knock Out?

Ironhide: ...I'm going to get Ratchet. We'll see what he thinks. *walks out*

Me: What? No! You can't get Ratchet! He'll wrench me for sure! I don't own you! There! Is that enough to get you to stay! Ironhide! Have mercy!

Ironhdie: *continues to walk out* Fresh out of mercy. *yells* Hey! Ratchet! C'mere a sec!

Me: Noooooo!

* * *

><p><strong>152. The 'Bots are not dragons.<strong>

(I kept comparing them to the dragon species in 'How to Train your Dragon".)

(Most of them fit pretty well when you think about it.)

(Sideswipe is exactly like a Deadly Nadder because he's always preening and he has those spiky arm blades just like a Nadder's tail spikes.)

(Wheelie and Brains are the perfect Terrible Terrors, but don't say that when they're around.)

(They have that Terrible Terror ferocity when threatened…or insulted.)

(Ironhide is a Monstrous Nightmare.)

('Nuff said. No explanation necessary.)

(The Chevy Twins are like a Zippleback, seeing as how they're twins and all.)

(I think that Mudflap would be the gas breathing head and the Skids would be the head that lights the gas.)

(Mostly because Skids seems to always be the Twin that starts the squabbles.)

(Ratchet would be a Gronkle, but he'll kill me if I list off the reasons why.)

(Finally, Mirage would be the perfect Nighfury.)

(He's sneaky like a Nightfury and his aim is perfect.)

(Also, Mirage draws exactly like Toothless.)

(Don't tell him I said that...)

**153. 'Alice' is a forbidden name.**

(Sam gets a bit twitchy and turns a little green.)

(All you have to do is mention alien babies digesting and hatching inside of him to get him to run to the nearest bathroom to hurl.)

(Mikaela gets a little angry when you say that name around her.)

(And when she gets angry at that name, Sam gets nervous.)

(Because when Mikaela gets mad, she tends to act like Ratchet by hitting people with the nearest tool on hand.)

(When the name is mentioned to Leo, he just gets a dreamy look on his face for a few seconds before he realizes exactly what he is daydreaming about.)

(Then he just trembles.)

(I've been meaning to explain to Lennox and the other NEST guys why Sam and the others act like this, but I'm too busy cracking up to explain anything.)

**154. Ironhide does not accept dares.**

(I kept noticing how he's constantly using his cannons as a threat and stuff.)

(So I dared him to go for a week without pulling his cannons out of subspace once.)

(At first he didn't want to do the dare.)

(But after I assured him that he could pull them out if a Decepticon was attacking, and after a lot of goading form Lennox, 'Hide finally gave in.)

(If he failed, I got the blind eye from Ironhide for trouble all week.)

(If he succeeded, I had to spend ten weeks in the brig, only coming out for school.)

(I shook his finger and the bet was on.)

(Me being me, I couldn't make it easy for Ironhide.)

(I kept prancing in front of him, doing and saying things that I knew would tick him off.)

(He nearly glitched in his effort to keep his cannons down, and his arm shifted towards me once or twice, but his cannons never came out of subspace.)

(Frag.)

(In the end, I was escorted to the brig by a very smug 'Hide.)

**155. Do not purposely try to make Bumblebee sad.  
><strong>

(In my defense, I had no idea that he would react the way he did.)

(I thought that 'Bee would maybe be a bit shocked, maybe a little bit sad.)

(It was old news in itself! At least...I don't think so...)

(Considering that I live with giant sentient robots, I've been out of the loop for awhile.)

(But I had no idea that 'Bee would go out of his way to make sure that we all knew that Paul Grey had passed away.)

(What had happened was that, as I was listening to one of their CD's, Sam had told me that Paul Grey, from the band Slipknot, had passed away.)

(Seeing as how I had gotten Bumblebee hooked on the band, I decided that I should probably let 'Bee know about Paul's passing as well.)

(The news didn't go over very well.)

(For the rest of the week, all Bumblebee played on his radio was Slipknot as a tribute to Paul.)

(Sam wasn't the only one wanting to come at me with something a little more deadly than a baseball bat.)

(Not only for unintentionally making 'Bee sad again, but for the Slipknot OD as well.)

(Apparently 'Bee's 'kicked puppy look' is more devastating than it sounds.)

(After getting hearty doses of it this week and last week, I'm starting to believe myself.)

(There's only so much heart-wrenching cure a person can take!)


	36. Chapter 36

I gotta say, pretty sure that I jinxed myself when I said that I was going to post every Friday. At least I posted this Friday! Oye. *faceslap*

Jimanji gets all the Credit for Rule #160 with 'Bots not getting subliminal messaging.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #157 with Adventure Time being a bad influence.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #156 with the Twins being secret pyromaniacs.

supergirlprime gets all the Credit for Rule #158 with Disney/Pixar movies causing mayhem again.

Ariyah's Rider gets all the Credit for Rule #159 with the Matrix providing more than just cool moves.

**Sesshykiss13: **Oh Primus. 've seen that commercial so many times that I think I might just tear my hair out if I have to hear that song again. It's getting as bad as the Nyan Cat song, I can believe that. XD Definitely will be used. Some serious mayhem can be wrecked whit this one. Maybe some actual rainbow afros can be brought in...*laughs deviously*

**(): **_"Very funny. Are you going to do my suggestions soon?" _Thanks. Glad that you're enjoying them! :) This review came blank into my Inbox. So I have no idea who sent me this...^^; Rest assured, I have written down all Rules that have been sent to me. But I have been known to miss some. I'm ditsy like that. T T If you wanna make sure that I got your Rule, you can send it to me again. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry about the Inbox thing...

**Optimus' girl: ***rubs back of head* Aug. Yeah. Sorry about that. ^^; I don't know what dragon Optimus would be. Hmmm...Maybe a King Nightfury, if there is such a thing. But Megatron would definitely be the Red Death! He's got the same temper as it! XD And that was an amazing movie! :D Toothless~3 ^^ Ratchet and House...*shivers* I don't know which is worse! Ratchet or House! But the giant cane is a must! XD These are epic Rules. No joke! Especially the "Whatcha haulin'?" one. Pickin' on Optimus is the best. That includes being the worst passenger ever! I read "Tad Bit Tipsy" and laughed my aft off. Oh geez. Who knew that Cybertronians are such fun when drunk! XD Totally amazing ideas. *wipes tear from eye* Thanks for those, and for reading and reviewing. :) I'll be sure to use them. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *hangs head* I know. There's no need to rant at me. *cringes* And please don't hit me with a wrench.

Optimus: *somberly* Little one. Have you really learned your lesson?

Ironhide: I don't think so. She's had this happen before and yet she still messes up.

Ratchet: Indeed.

Bumblebee: _"She needs to sort out her priorities"_.

Me: Yes. Thank you. Especially the Harry Potter clip 'Bee. Rub it in a little deeper why don't ya?

Bumblebee: *chirps happily* _"It's been a pleasure doing business with you"_.

Me: Now Mad Max. Oye. *skulks off to type* I don't own the Transformers.

* * *

><p><strong>156. Do not allow the Twins to have fireworks.<strong>

(Ever.)

(I just need to learn that if it involves any amount of gunpowder at all…)

(Then keep it the frag away from the Twins!)

(It started with one bottle rocket.)

(Then one bottle rock led to one roman candle, and then to one rocket…)

(Soon enough the Twins had an arsenal on their servos.)

(I came across their stock once, but as soon as they figured out that I saw it, they threatened me into secrecy.)

(Their greatest fear is that Optimus, Prowl, or Ratchet will find them out and take their horde away.)

(I think they're planning something devious.)

(All I know is that I don't want to be anywhere around when they pull it off.)

(Last time they set a firework off around me, I lost my hearing for a few weeks.)

**157. Jake is not real dog.**

(Wheeljack still had to be monitored while he watches T.V, but he loves it to much to control him.)

(He sneaks away when he thinks no ones looking in order to go watch it.)

(When we finally caught him in the act, we saw that he was only watching cartoons.)

(Mostly because he couldn't get past the parental 'Wheeljack block'.)

(Figuring that cartoons were okay, we let him carry on.)

(We even watched some cartoons with him.)

(Our favorite was Adventure Time.)

(But after a few episodes of the random show, Mojo suddenly went missing.)

(Sam went into panic mode, fearing that Ironhide finally lost control and terminated the pooch.)

(While Sam spazzed out, I channeled my inner Sherlock Holmes in order to find him.)

(Using my Sherlock Holmes knowledge, I immediately knew to look in Wheeljack's quarters.)

(Thank Primus I got there when I did!)

('Jack had poor Mojo in one of those taffy puller machines.)

(After Sam usefully rescued Mojo, we all asked him why he was stretching Mojo like that.)

(We all already knew his answer.)

(He wanted to see if he could make Mojo stretch like Jake the dog in Adventure Time.)

(After that, Optimus banned Wheeljack from watching cartoons all together.)

**158. Do not allow the 'Bots to watch 'Cars'.**

(Sam thought that it was as close to the Transformers as we could get.)

(The only thing missing is that the cars in the movie couldn't turn into sentient robots.)

(That didn't stop the 'Bots who watched the movie from changing their holoforms.)

(Now, instead of humans, the 'Bots use their holoforms to make eyes appear on their windshields and lips appear above their bumpers.)

(It freaked a couple people out, especially people who had never seen Cars before.)

(Lennox loved it, Annabelle as well, and insisted that they all drive around town like that.)

(My favorite part was convincing Optimus to play along and say the line...)

"Mac? I ain't no Mac! I'm a Peterbilt for dang sake!"

(The line was hilarious coming from Optimus with his deep voice.)

(Heck, just getting to say ain't was hilarious!)

**159. Machines are not really considered evil killers.**

(I really need to stop allowing the 'Bots to watch movies with me.)

(This time it was all Leo's fault.)

(Apparently when Sam was dodging a wrench from Ratchet, he did something called a 'Matrix move'.)

(That got the guys talking about some movie called the 'Matrix'.)

(Confused, I asked them what they were talking about and just what exactly the movie was.)

(Pretty sure that the guys' jaws came a little unhinged as they gaped at me.)

(After they all finally recovered, Leo ran to the movie rental place and brought the movie back with him, making a real show about my not having seen it.)

(That drew the attention of several soldiers and a handful of 'Bots and they came to watch the movie with us.)

(Big mistake.)

(They must have thought that it was about their Matrix of Leadership.)

(But as soon as the movie started talking about how all machines were evil killers and the like, all the 'Bots became outraged.)

(The only way we prevented the T.V. from getting blown up again was to immediately turn the movie off and return it.)

(We have a lot of explaining on our hands now.)

(Well…Leo does because it was his idea.)

**160. Do not use subliminal messaging around the 'Bots.**

(Shrek. Another movie classic.)

(It's a double win!)

(There's parts for kids…and parts for adults.)

(Subliminal messaging is just about as great as sarcasm.)

(Seeing this as another great opportunity to teach the 'Bots about life here on Earth, Sam, Mikaela, Leo, and I set them all down in front of the Autobot TV to watch.)

(They laughed at all the obvious jokes but when all the hidden adult jokes popped up, they didn't catch them.)

(They were really confused when we got to the part that had Shrek and Donkey first come up to Farquaad castle.)

(When the joke came up about how Lord Farquaad was 'compensating for something' with the size of his castle, Sam, Leo, Mikaela, and I cracked up.)

(Especially at the puppet song part when lyrics didn't match up for obvious reasons.)

(The 'Bots were just giving us confused looks, worrying a bit for out sanity.)

(After a bit of thought, 'Bee suddenly let out a comprehending noise and made little laughing sounds.)

(His time as a Scout helped him to get what was going on pretty fast.)

(As for the other 'Bots…they needed a little talk.)

(Thank Primus Ratchet wasn't watching the movie with us or things would have gotten real awkward real fast.)

* * *

><p>Finished. Hope this one had your respective Rule up to your expectations. Also, I have written down every Rule Idea that was submitted to me. It's a pretty long list, but I promise to put every single one into this Fic! THIS I SWEAR! Sorry it's taking me so long to get all of them in and sorry if you've been waiting for yours and it hasn't been showing up. T T Picking is random. *rubs back of head* Thanks for reading. Oh! Please point out any mistakes I make! I love it when people do that! :D<p> 


	37. Chapter 37

Neh. I'm kinda freaked out about the massive purge that's going on, but not freaked out enough to actually change anything. My love for Transformers is too strong to make me want to actually stop making these Rules. Especially when I look at all the Rules that you guys gave that still need to be made into Rules. So I'm bypassing my Rules for ones that were submitted. Enjoy. :) P.S. I still need to work on responding to all the reviews that were sent in. Sorry about that. T^T

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #164 with Optimus really needing his beauty recharge.

Complete-Global-Saturation gets all the Credit for Rule# 161 with Mjölnir being crushed by a robot.

Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna gets all the Credit for Rule #163 with paintballs helping with some revenge.

Midnight Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #162 with Optimus' height proving useful for some fun.

Iceshadow911247 gets all the Credit for Rule #165 with brakes innocently being checked while driving.

**Optimus' girl: **I totally agree. I just recently heard about the purge and it's crazy. I saw some threads or whatever where they post Fics that they find 'offensive' or whatever. I thought this site was so relaxed and cool until stuff like this started happening. Scare tactics and horrible reviews with sudden deletions and account suspensions. Not cool. As for your submitted Rules, the MIB one had already been done I'm afraid. Sorry about that. :( The Rule about pranking Ratchet was hilarious though! XD Especially about painting a wrench to match each mech on base! I don't blame Optimus for not liking his! Easter had been done, mainly wiht Leo and Willa hiding all of Ratchet's wrenches. Needless to say, it did not end well. O.O Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the new Rules. Sorry some of your suggestions were already used though...

**Sesshykiss13:** Primus! I saw that on the news too! It honestly freaked me out a bit, especially after the zombie lovers flared up the Internet with all this 'He's the first zombie! The apocalypse is upon us! Beware!'. *shivers* Just the fact that the attacker was eating the other guys face off gave me the chills. Red Alert gets on look at this story and he'll shut the whole base down, freaking out about cannibalistic killer zombie trying to get them all. Oh Primus...XD Thanks for reading. the review, and for the Rule Idea. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: Freedom! Finally free! *throws confetti up in the air*

Sunstreaker: Free from what? Your daily sentence in the brig?

Me: You're a scream. No. And what I'm free from is none of your business. So there.

Sunstreaker: *shoots me a suspicious look* If you have free time now...that give me reason to be worried.

Me: Relax. It's not like I'm doing to scratch your paint job or anything. Maybe. You never know with my kind of crazy.

Sunstreaker: That's it. I'm leaving.

Me: Fine! It's just a shame that I don't own the Transformers. I'd have entered you in so many street races that I'd be rolling in the dough!

Sunstreaker: Keep dreaming.

* * *

><p><strong>161. You are not Thor.<strong>

(What? Asgardians are awesome!)

(After the whole Loki incident they should know not to let me watch 'Thor' again.)

(Well they do now anyway.)

(Way back when I was making my Loki costume, I figured 'What the heck!' and I went ahead and made a Thor costume while I was at it.)

(It has the cape, Mjölnir, and everything.)

(I even bought a blond wig to wear with it.)

(I practiced my Norse accent for weeks and when I finally got it somewhat down, I dressed up in my Thor costume and headed to base.)

(Sam was totally in on the game.)

(He tried to steal Mjölnir from me, but immediately let it drop to the ground, pretending that he couldn't pick it up.)

(Then I yelled out "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO TOUCH MJOLNIR PUNY HUMAN! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE IT!" and threw cardboard cutouts of lighting bolts at him like I was electrocuting him.)

(Sam fell twitching to the ground just as Ironhide walked in.)

(He took in my costume, wig, accent, the cardboard bolts, Mjölnir, and the twitching Sam before silently rising an optic ridge.)

(Still staying in character, I explained what was happening with my Norse accent.)

(Sam got up and 'tried' to pick up Mjölnir again, still pretending to fail.)

(After a few more seconds of silence, Ironhide bent over and plucked the hammer from the ground, tossed it into his other palm and crushed it.)

(I lost it a bit then and cursed 'Hide, still using my Norse accent.)

(Sam thought it was funny as the Pit when I cursed at 'Hide with that accent.)

(Needless to say, Ironhide didn't.)

('Hide as picked me up by my cape with two fingers and carried me to the brig, me pouting all the way.)

**162. Do not bungee jump off of Optimus' helm.**

(Bored bored BORED!)

(Never let crazy human teenagers and certain silver mechs become bored.)

(Dangerous things tend to happen…)

(You think that the super intelligent giant sentient robots would have learned that by now.)

(But they still tend to underestimate we puny humans and our crafty pranking ways.)

(We really shocked the slag outta them when 'Sides and I rigged a bungee jumping cord up on top of Optimus' helm while he was recharging.)

(All we had to do was wait for the big guy to stand up and BANZI!)

(Instant bungee jumping height.)

(Optimus was totally freaked out.)

(It was pretty fun…until Ratchet was called in.)

(The medic plucked me off of Optimus like I was tiny piece of fluff or something.)

('Sides and I were then escorted down to Lennox who gave up a stern lecture about how it wasn't safe to bungee jump off of robots.)

(Lennox was pretty much making up reasons not to bungee jump on the fly, trying to hide a tiny smirk while he did so.)

(But that's how we roll, bringing mass chaos wherever we go.)

(Optimus still gives me a 'WTF' look when he sees me.)

**163. Paintballs are not a torture device.**

(Oh Leo, you're never going to learn.)

(Do not anger a person who happens to be nuttier than squirrel poop.)

(Because I will get even.)

(And this time Lennox was willing to help.)

(I didn't ask how he got a hold of a couple paint ball guns, but I wasn't complaining.)

(I just grabbed the first one I laid eyes on and went Leo hunting.)

(I found him in the Rec Room, just lounging around.)

(When he saw the murderous look on my face and the paintball gun in my hands, he immediately booked it.)

(Not wanting my prey to escape, I took aim and fired.)

(I got him right on the aft.)

(He let out a little squeal and toppled over, but got up just as quickly and ran before I could get another shot at him.)

(I chased him for a bit, but never actually shot him again.)

(Later, when I had cooled down, I saw Leo trying to sit down for lunch.)

(He had the worst look of pain on his face as his bruised cheeks tried to take a sitting.)

(I got a bit of pleasure out of that.)

(But that's what you get for breaking one of my Harry Potter DVD's and taping it back to together with duck tape as a crappy repair job.)

**164. Never wake Optimus up from recharge.**

(No one really wanted to wake Optimus up.)

(He deserved his much needed recharge.)

(But his schedule was chock full of meetings with various people today and he couldn't afford to miss any of them.)

(The worst thing was that his very first meeting was with Mearing and Galloway.)

(Everyone thought that when Lennox chucked Galloway off the plane in the middle of Primus knows where that that would be the last that we would see of the sniveling weasel.)

(How wrong we were.)

(He'd gotten another job in this department, only reinforcing Ironhide's idea that's he's a Decepticon spy, and continues to annoy the slag outta us.)

(Poor Optimus to have to deal with him and Mearing together first thing out of recharge…)

(He's going to need a bit of High Grade just to get through the rest of the day.)

(Hopefully Mearing and Galloway will be too busy yelling at each other to direct their attention to Optimus.)

(Then all he would have to do is turn off his audio receptors and recharge with his optics open.)

**165. Random brake checks are not necessary.**

(Sideswipe is the worst mech to have drive behind you when you're on the road somewhere.)

(It doesn't matter if you're heading off to a mission to kick Decepticon aft or if you're on a trip to get groceries.)

(Sideswipe will ride your bumper the whole way.)

(Fraggin' speed demon.)

(So in order to teach the little bugger a lesson, I made sure to get in front of him for out next little outing.)

(Waiting for him to get really impatient and start hugging my bumper, I set my plan into action.)

(Yelling out 'RANDOM BRAKE CHECK!' I slammed my foot on the brakes and grinned as Sideswipe slammed into the back of me.)

(Ironhide was so stunned that didn't have time to stop me from slamming on his brakes.)

(He could only watch and listen as Sideswipe slammed into his bumper.)

(After that, it was all Optimus could do to prevent Ironhide from transforming and attacking Sideswipe.)

(Me being in his cab might also have prevented him from knocking the Corvette around.)

(But in my opinion, I think that if Optimus wasn't there to order Ironhide to stand down, he might just have transformed regardless.)

(I've never been more thankful of the Rules in my life.)

(Optimus gave 'Hide the 'We Don't Harm Humans! - What Is With You?' speech and I was saved from becoming compressed hamburger meat in Ironhide's cab.)

(On the bright side, I get to constantly remind Ironhide what a mess he would have had to have cleaned up if he had transformed with me inside of him.)

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><p>Good? Bad? Ugly? Funny? Was your respective Rule to your liking? Hope it was. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! See you all next Chapter! :D<p> 


	38. Chapter 38

*hides behind fort made of Peeps* Sorry! I'll just say that right off the bat. Sorry for missing last Friday's post and for how long it took me to respond to all the reviews that had been left. I'm a horrible person. Allow me to make it up to you with this new and sort of extra long Chapter of your guys' Rules. *weakly* Ta-Da. ^^;

MeowMeow98 gets all the Credit for Rule #166 with the Autobots being grounded by Mojo.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #167 with Wheeljack trying to make dogs talk.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #168 with Megatron getting teased in song.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #169 with Lennox allowed to get chocolate wasted.

Crissy-Fenix-Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #170 with robots and ninjas not being a good combination.

gets all the Credit for Rule #171 with Supermech.

**Sesshykiss13: **Definitely don't quote Gir! XD That would totally make them glitch! And Hamtaro! I remember that show! Aww! How the 'Bots disagree with that show! It's impossible! Unless they freak out about pet hamsters escaping their cages and coming after them...But their so fuzzy and cute! XD And I'll have to watch that episode of Martin. It probably will make Ratchet stop dieting them all! Knowing him, it'll probably just make him find new ways to diet them like you said. X) And being crazy isn't a bad thing! I know that I'm going crazy from how many times they play the commercials of that Afro song! Maybe I do need to see the movie to understand and see sense. I think the 'Bots will appreciate it if finally understood the song! I will definitely use these new Rules of your in the Fic. Especially the rainbow Afro one and the one about Gir! XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the new Rules!

** T.M.D: **I never knew there were so many cats in the Warriors books I won't be able to use all of the cats, probably just the main ones to keep the Rule the right length, but it's cool how there's a cat for every, and I mean every, character! Wicked! :D Are you going to write a Fic about these TransCats? And as for your Rule, definitely not! Ironhide would glitch! Annabelle would love it though. XD Thanks for the cats, reading, the new Rules, and for reviewing! :D

**Optimus' girl: **He totally knows he's a mother hen and that's why he gets so upset when people call him that behind his back! XD Poor 'Hide! And thanks for that! It means a lot to know that I'm making people laugh! I love doing it! :D And yeah, either Brains stole the Barbies for his own harem or Ironhide and Red Alert blew the Barbies up. X) They have not watched AVP yet! Be prepared for nightmares! X) And you're Ideas are great! Who wouldn't like them! And #162 was epic. Optimus giving the 'WTF' look alone! XD I'll be sure to read those stories. :) Messing with Elita-1 would be a really bad Idea! O.O Seeing Optimus angry...OMP...And Mearing isn't as bad as Galloway, but she's getting there. Always yelling and butting in. Poor Optimus.

**anon: **XD They probably would glitch at that! Hopefully they don't have nightmares from watching it! And hopefully Wheeljack doesn't see the movie as well and try to make his own Godzilla. Though they do already have Grimlock...He's close enough. XD I'll be sure to use this new Rule in the Fic. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing and for the new Rule!

**JC:** XD I definitely will. It's too much fun picking on the 'Bots for me to stop! X) I'm totally happy that you're laughing! :D That makes me day, no joke! Glad you're enjoying the Fic! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Midnight Prime:** Welcome! That's the best time for Idea's to be made up! Sugar rush's are how I get through the day! XD And it's good that you remembered it after the sugar rush and everything! I hate it when I get a really good Idea in the middle of the night, go to sleep, wake up, and find that I totally forgot what the Idea was. Really aggravating! Thanks again for the Idea! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Mellonote: **Yeah. One of these day's he just going to snap. Rule about not harming humans or not! He has to hang out with all of the crazies...He'll get his chance for revenge though! X) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer:

Me: *still hiding behind Peep fort*

Ironhide: Just what exactly are you doing?

Me: Nothing. Hiding. Chillin' with my Peeps. *ba dum tish*

Ironhide: You are not doing a very good job of it. That fort could be easily defeated.

Me: Oh yeah? Try it! Hit it with your best shot!

Ironhide: *raises optic ridge and fires cannon at fort* What! *watches as fired shot is adsorbed into fort, leaving no damage at all*

Me: Never underestimate the power of Peeps. StoleTheSpider owns nothing.

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><p><strong>166. Do not lock Autobots in their rooms.<strong>

(It was around midnight and I got a serious case of the munchies.)

(Knowing that Ratchet would glitch if he saw me sneaking out of my room to get at my secret stash of junk foods, I made sure to be extra sneaky.)

(Suddenly, Mojo shot past me, yapping up a storm.)

(I made a grab at him to try and return him to Sam before he woke the whole base up, but the little pooch escaped me and shot into the control room.)

(I guess the current guard had taken a bathroom break or something, leaving the door wide open in his wake.)

(Before I could stop the dog, Mojo jumped onto the control panel and padded all over the keyboards before finally sitting down on the 'Enter' key.)

(Not before entering all these crazy letters and numbers into the system, doing who knows how much damage!)

(I grabbed Mojo as fast as I could and booked it out of the control room before the guard got back, waltzing away like nothing had happened.)

(I found out exactly how much damage was caused by Mojo's butt the next day.)

(The little Taco Bell dog had accidentally locked all of the Autobots in their quarters.)

(Lennox and the assembled techies were trying to get them out, but were blocked by the complex passwords that Mojo's rump had set.)

(They were trying really hard, but maybe that's because songs like 'Barbie Girl' had been rigged to play in the 'Bots quarters as well…On repeat.)

(When the doors were finally unlocked, we discovered that some 'Bots had glitched.)

(Others like Ironhide and Ratchet, were out for my blood, thoroughly convinced that the whole predicament was my fault.)

(I can't tell them the truth because Ironhide would squish poor Mojo for sure.)

**167. 'Johnny Test' is banned. **

(Wheeljack is too addicted to cartoons for his own good.)

(He took one look at the little Wheeljack parental block that we set up on the T.V and immediately figured a way around it.)

(The easily wooed…Me.)

(Knowing that I have a love for cartoons that is almost as big as his own, Wheeljack knew that I knew that password for the block.)

(So he tried bribing me for the password with shiny new cannons and prank weapons.)

(I held fast when I was bribed with a huge whipped cream cannon, but totally gave in at the light saber samurai swords.)

(So fraggin' epic…)

(Now with me as a samurai Jedi and with Wheeljack smugly watching his cartoons, trouble was officially set in motion.)

(The mad scientist found a Johnny Test marathon on his favorite channel, Cartoon Network, and was immediately hooked.)

(Wheeljack and I were eventually found out and the parental block was redone, but not before Wheeljack's started scheming.)

(The scientist had been looking at Mojo a little funny, and he's had this glint in his optics that starting to make me worry.)

(I should have warned Sam, but it was too late because Mojo went missing…again.)

(When was Sam going to learn that bringing his dog to base was a bad idea?)

(As Sam had another freak attack, making sure to check under Ironhide's pedes, Lennox and I headed straight for Wheeljack's lab.)

(We found the little dog just outside Wheeljack's quarters with the very disappointed mad scientist.)

(When asked why he kidnapped Mojo again, he said that he was just trying to get him to talk like Dukey from 'Johnny Test'.)

(Wheeljack was ordered to stay from the T.V. again and a new password was set.)

(This time I wasn't allowed to know what it was.)

**168. Teasing Megatron and Optimus is not a good idea.**

(When is Optimus going to learn that some 'Bots never change?)

(He keeps trying to convince Megatron to join the side of righteous good and leave the Decepticon fraction for good.)

(His pleas always fall on deaf audio receptors though, and then they normally just start arguing.)

(These arguments aren't arguments, more like one-sided shouting matches, with Megatron getting so up into Optimus' face that he's practically spitting in his optics.)

(Drama queen.)

(Finally having enough of his constant yelling, I hunkered behind some pieces of rubble and shouted…)

"Optimus and Megatron sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes mating, then comes a sparkling in a sparkling chamber!"

(Hoo boy! You should have seen the looks on their faceplates!)

(You can be sure as the Pit that I ran as fast as my fleshy feet could carry me before Megatron figured out who was the offending singer.)

(Judging by the way that Optimus had his helm in his servo, he already knew that it was me.)

(Sideswipe was witness to the whole thing and finally decided to help me out by slowing down next to me long enough for me to dive into his alt mode and escape to safety.)

(Megatron's cannon fire followed us the whole way.)

(Later, after we had all returned from the battle, I got a thorough dressing down from Optimus and Ironhide for enraging Megatron like that.)

(Frankly I was more worried about what Optimus' mate, Elita-1, would think.)

(She knew that I knew that Optimus and Megatron were brothers and that she and Optimus were together.)

(Her smothered laughter told me that she thought the prank was just as funny as I did.)

**169. 'Grown Ups' is banned from base. **

**-**'I wanna get chocolate wasted!'

(The term 'wasted' threw Ratchet for a loop and he asked us what it meant.)

(Bumblebee, Sam, Leo, and I all exchanged looks before smirking.)

(We could have some fun with this.)

(We explained that getting 'wasted' meant to eat lots of sugary foods at once and getting sugar high.)

(Ratchet rolled his optics at our definition, not hearing the snickers from Bumblebee and Sam.)

(Lennox came up after overhearing out conversation and asked Ratchet if he was allowed to get 'wasted'.)

(After a few minutes of thinking, Ratchet said that Lennox allowed one free day to get 'wasted'.)

(As soon as Ratchet left, we all burst out laughing, asking if Lennox was going to take his free day seriously.)

(He said not in the literal way, but he did bring a Snickers bar to lunch the next day.)

- 'I bet you five bucks he gets on one knee.'

(Sometimes Optimus gets a little too into his speeches…)

(Especially when a new Decepticon arrives on Earth.)

(Optimus tries his hardest to talk the new 'Con into joining the Autobots.)

(Last time that Sam and I were allowed to tag only to meet a newly arrived Cybertronain, we saw Optimus really getting into it.)

"Bet ya five buck the speech will take him down on one knee."

(Sam was whispering, but Optimus and the rest of the mechs heard him.)

(The Decepticon laughed while Optimus just let out a tiny scowl.)

- 'He calls it maize so it sounds more _mystical_.'

(Ratchet? Do you even know what half of the terms you're spouting out mean?)

(I mean, last time I was sent to the Med Bay for some aspirin for my headache, he spouted off all this stuff that just made my headache worse.)

(Sideswipe thinks that he use all those medical words just so he can sound smarter.)

(I'm starting to believe it myself…)

**170. You are not a Ninja.**

(After the Chevy Twins got back from their little adventure in Egypt, they thought they were ninjas incarnate.)

(It was funny the first few times, watching them do ninja rolls out of rooms and trying to sneak up on people.)

(But after they started throwing their new ninja stars around, things started to get out of hand.)

(Their already terrible aim was bad enough with their cannons.)

(Add their little metal ninja stars and you've got a serious problem.)

(More than one optic was damaged and some stars were even imbedded in some chassis')

(When the Twins started losing interest in attacking the 'Bots, they turned their attention to humans.)

(That was where Sam and I drew the line.)

(Enlisting a real ninja, Mirage, as out coach, we started to train to become ninjas ourselves.)

(After out training was complete, we approached the Twins and challenged them to a game of Ninja Hide n' Seek.)

(Me and Sam against Skids and Mudflap.)

(Turns out that the Twins were better at hiding than we thought….)

(It's been a week now and we're still sneaking around, trying to find one another and attack.)

(None of us want to give up without having taken the other team down.)

(This is gonna be a really long game…)

**171. Optimus is not Superman.**

(The 'Bots knew nothing about comic books and superheroes.)

(So when a little boy that the 'Bots had just rescued from a Decepticon attack pointed at Optimus and shouted 'Superman!', they thought it was an insult.)

(At least Ironhide did, being called Super_man_.)

(Someone had to set the record straight and that fell to Leo and his huge comic book collection.)

(We had no idea that Leo was a comic book junkie.)

(Digging out all of these Superman comics, Leo began to explain what comic books were and who exactly Superman was.)

(I was listening in as he explained everything and I have to admit, Optimus and Superman are alike in some ways.)

(They both can fly.)

(Bullets bounce off of both of their chests.)

(They both fight on the good side and are ahead of their own teams to help defend their turf.)

(The colors that are associated with both of them are red and blue.)

(Both are aliens from another planet.)

(The only thing that would make them more alike would be if Optimus agreed to wear a cape and a huge metal 'S' on his chassis.)

(And cower at the sight of tiny glowing green rocks…)

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><p>Done. :) Di you all think that this Chapter was good? Long? Slow? If your Rule was here, did it meet with your expectations? Was it funny? Stupid? Cringy? Please let me know what you all think by leaving a review if you have the time! :D<p> 


	39. Chapter 39

Lotta AN this Chap. I'll cut to the chase. :)

Angelzodica013 gets all the Credit for Rule #174 with Optimus getting a little tipsy.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #175 with Sam not running out of air.

annebellelenox gets all the Credit for Rule #173 with Prowl glitching...again.

**Anonymous: **XD Thank you! I'm glad that you're laughing! Also, thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**T.M.D: **Those names do sound kinda familiar. Maybe I read one but forgot about it...I'm sure going to read them now! Isn't the same author writing a new series about bears? Or was that a different person? Anyhoo! that is a good Idea. I wold have totally read it if you would written it. :) And I love those songs! I was practically raised on old music. X) 'I Can't Dance' is one of my favorites. I can see the 'Bots listening to it! XD I'm glad that you liked your Rule. Optimus and his speeches...XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas! :)

**Optimus' girl: **XD Thanks. :) I'm glad that you think that they are funny! and yeah, if Screamer heard that song...Megatron is going to be in for it. Starscream better watch his back if he sings it! And your Idea's are great. Really funny stuff! XD Sorry it's taking me so long to get them all in the Fic though. Aww! Baby Optimus and Megatron! So adorable! *squee* Definitely to be used as a Rule! *cuddles baby Optimus* Ironhide as Batmech...XD It's perfect! Now all he needs are some wings...he's already got the pointy helm! Someone else also left and Idea for this. Do you mind if there is duel credit? And those 'Bots watching those T.V shows is definitely not a good Idea! The mayhem that it will cause...XD Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas!

**SomeofAwe: **XD She could train some of the 'Bots in the way of the Jedi samurai ninja and start her own Jedi samurai ninja army! Unless Ironhide gets wind of her plan...then it'd all over. He loves to confiscate things. X) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Sesshykiss13: **I saw it too! Aang! Finally! I miss him as the Avatar...And Appa...I was tearing up for a bit when Aang appeared. The finale epic. *sighs* Season 2! Get here faster! And your welcome! Thank you for the Ideas! :D I have been neglecting to torture the pest...I love your Ideas for getting at him...*grins deviously* This is gonna be fun. And making Pokemon! Wheeljack must do that! Granted, the Pokemon will probably explode or something like all of his experiments do, but they'll be epic while they last! Yes! X) Bridezillas...O.O They certainly changed the way that I see weddings! I can't imagine on how they'll change the 'Bots! As for the Batmech Rule, someone also left an Idea for this one the same time that you did. Do you mind if there is duel credit? And yes! LOKI FOREVER! Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas!

**anon: **They're the best to tease! Gotta love teasing the two. X) It's very hazardous to one's health, but it's totally worth it! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Midnight Prime: **I will use it! Wheeljack and comic books...O.O Willa as Hawkeye! Steve is Lennox! Sam as Thor! XD That one I can see! Mikaela would be a kick aft Black Widow. And Epps as Hulk...Everyone better watch out! Poor Wheeljack always has his experiments busted...I love this Idea! Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Idea! Hawkeye FTW! Sam the Thunder God...XD To good!

Disclaimer:

Sideswipe: *walks by with cloth sack in hand* Do dee do. *hums*

Ratchet: You're awfully cheery. Have you see the author lately?...What's in the sack?

Sideswipe: Oh. Uh...No? And this sack? Well...It's...Uh..

Cloth Sack: Mmgph! MEPGHTH!

Sideswipe: *pokes sack* It's just a little something that I found. Rabid animal. Really needs to be put out of it's misery. I'll be seeing you! *hurries out*

Ratchet: Strange...Wait a minute...*stomps after Sideswipe* Sideswipe! Bring the author back here! She doesn't own the Transformers! There's no need to terminate her!

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><p><strong>172. Do not dress Mojo up.<strong>

(The pet store always has these cute little outfits for dogs.)

(On a recent shopping trip to buy some dog food for Mojo as a favor to Sam I saw that they were on sale.)

(How could I not buy one?)

(Especially since there were so many to choose from.)

(After paying for the little costumes I headed back to base to try them on Mojo.)

(I think Mojo felt kinda pretty.)

(Or at least handsome.)

(He strutted around in his new cute little cowboy outfit, complete with cowboy hat and holster, with his little doggy swagger.)

(Sam felt otherwise.)

(He went on this huge rant about how his mother was bad enough with the jewelry and now I had to go and join in.)

(He grabbed Mojo up and stomped off to strip the little dog of his 'girly' costume.)

(Mojo was a cowboy! That's not girly!)

(I didn't have the heart to buy Mojo a ballerina costume…)

**173. Please speak normally to Prowl.**

(I think Prowl is tired of having to deal with humans now.)

(His poor rational mind can't take us anymore.)

(He's glitched so many times that we're all worried for his health…and sanity.)

(We're ones to talk though, because it's normally our crazy shenanigans that make him glitch in the first place.)

(Out latest shenanigan was to only talk in frilly girl speak to poor Prowl.)

(The way the some teenage girls talk is enough to make regular people want to pull their hair out.)

(Imagine what it could do to Prowl.)

(So for the rest of the day, whenever Mikaela and I had to ask Prowl for something, we would say things like…

"Like, ohmigod, that robot over there, like, totally ruined my mani. I worked freakin' hard to get it the exact shade that I wanted and everything. You know, you robots are really tall and stuff. Can you, like, touch the sky and stuff? You are really need some makeovers though because, like,-"

(And on and on and on.)

(At first, Prowl just ignored us.)

(But we were persistent and soon enough Prowl started to crack.)

(After a few more hours of mind numbing girl babble, he finally lost it.)

"ENOUGH! For the love of Primus please shut up! I've had enough of you humans and your tiny brains! Why do you insist on using the word 'like' in every sentence! It is not-ZGH!"

(Prowl would have continued his little exasperated rant, but he glitched on the spot.)

(Good thing Ratchet had been following his around for the better part of the day, knowing that something like this was going to happen.)

(Ratchet doesn't even bother to ask why and how Prowl glitches anymore.)

**174. There is not such thing as 'accidentally' giving Optimus High Grade.**

(I don't know who's smart idea it was to have the Lambo Twins in charge of passing out the daily Energon rations.)

(Besides handing Optimus a regular cube of Energon, the Twins had handed him a cub of High Grade.)

(Sunstreaker and Sideswipe claimed that it was just a harmless attempt to get Optimus to relax.)

(Either they're telling the truth, or they just wanted to see how Optimus behaved totally wasted.)

(Granted, the amount of High Grade that the Lambo Twins had given Optimus was small, but it was enough to get the Prime more than a little tipsy.)

(He was staggering around the base for hours, muttering unintelligible words that no one could make out.)

(At first, everyone just figured that Optimus was a little stressed and tired and that was why he was behaving so strangely.)

(But after he started singing the theme song to Barney, Ratchet was immediately called in.)

(It took Ironhide, Ratchet, and a few other mechs to subdue Optimus and drag him into the Med Bay.)

(While there, Optimus had to be strapped down so that he wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone by swinging his Energon sword around.)

(It took a few hours for the High Grade to wear off and when it did, Optimus was not a happy mech.)

(I don't think I've ever seen him so grumpy in my life.)

(He was almost like Ratchet…)

(Thank Primus he never figured out that it was the slightly on purpose that the Lambo Twins that had slipped him the High Grade.)

(They wouldn't be alive today if he did know.)

**175. Autobots do not need to breath.**

(I can't believe how stupid he was.)

(Sam, first person to have met the Autobots, should know a little bit better.)

(I thought he knew everything there was to know about them.)

(Apparently not, as he challenged Bumblebee to a no breathing contest.)

(I mean COME ON!)

(They're aliens from outer space. WHERE THERE IS NO AIR!)

(I cold only watch and sigh as Leo started to time it.)

(Mikaela was off somewhere else. Probably because she realized how stupid this was.)

(I continued to stick around just to see how stupid it was.)

(Bumblebee and Sam stared at each other, cheeks puffed out as they held in air)

(Soon Sam's face flushed red, but Bumblebee still didn't quit.)

(When Sam's face turned purple, that's when we all started to worry.)

(Leo and I tried to explain to him that Bumblebee didn't need to breath, but Sam just thought we were trying to make him lose.)

(About 5 seconds later, Sam passed out from lack of oxygen.)

(Bumblebee went into panic mode, rushing Sam to Ratchet because he thought he'd died.)

(Leo and I were concerned for about a second, but then we burst out laughing.)

(I about passed out from the lack of air because of my laughing.)

(It really isn't as fun as it sounds.)

**176. There is no such thing as 'Hug A Decepticon Day'.**

(Poor Decepticons.)

(Always so angry at the world.)

(Maybe Optimus has been looking at this all wrong.)

(Maybe instead of boring them with inspirational speeches to try to get them to join the side of good, he just needs to show them a little kindness.)

(Like give them a hug or something.)

(I shared my idea with the rest of the 'Bots…and was instantly shot down by laughter.)

"Hug a Decepticon? And get me face blasted off? No thank you!"

(Fine. If they were to chicken to hug a Decepticon, then I would.)

(Who knows, maybe I'll be the first one to convert a Decepticon.)

(So during our next battle against the 'Cons, I picked a random Decepticon and ran forward to hug him.)

(Seeing as how they're hulking giants, I could only hug a very small part of his pede.)

(I think my message got across though.)

"AUTOBOTS! One of your pets has glitched! What is it doing to me? GET IT OFF!"

(Just as I was about to get squished by the 'Con, Optimus came to my rescue and tackled the him before he had the chance.)

(My plan of converting a Decepticon may not have worked, but at least I distracted on of them long enough for Optimus to take down.)

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><p>Good? Bad? Pit-spawned? Please let me know in a review if you have the time! :D Thanks for reading!<p> 


	40. Chapter 40

Decepticon chapter! The Con's really need some lovin'. Or rather, some tormenting. Yay! But before you all start reading, I just wanna say one thing. THANK YOU! :D This is my 40th Chapter and it's leveling on 500 reviews! Oh my Primus! So amazing! So many Alerts, and Followers and it's just amazing! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm glad that you're all laughing along with this Fic. :)

Mikaela the Cat gets all the Credit for Rule #178 with Knock Out being softer than he looks on the inside.

Top Kicker gets all the Credit for Rule #181 with tattoos causing trouble.

**Optimus' girl: **Oh Primus...Coffee Energon...So much trouble can be made with that...XD Hyped up 'Bots! Better than drunk 'Bots! XD And yeah, Bumblebee and Sam do need to have a serious talk. Poor 'Bee's gonna have a spark attack one of these days! And who knows where the Twins got that High Grade! Knowing them, they probably did get it from 'Hide's room. They're gonna get it one of these days if they're not careful! And Starscream would have fun flaunting that picture. He's so devious. XD Starscream with a car horn as a voice box...Megatron would love that! No more whining and begging from his SIC! Maybe make it a really pathetic car horn from a really small smart car or something. XD Poor 'Screamer. Thanks for all the epic Ideas! Also, thanks for reading and reviewing. Glad you're enjoying the Fic! :D

**T.M.D: **Thanks. :) I have just started reading the Warriors series, though it's slow going because I have to check the books out from the library and I can't make it there often. It's really great so far. Mirror Mirror, that new Snow White one? OMP! That movie looked hilarious! I bet Wheelie and Brains could make some serious mischief if they saw it. X) And she is? That's epic! I have to say that I'm more of a dog person more than a cat person, so if she is writing a series about dogs, then I'll have to check it out! First I have to get through the Warrior series! Thanks for reading and reviewing. A drunken Optimus thanks you! X)

**Anonymous: **_I love your rules so much, they make me laugh..._ XD Thanks! I'm glad that you're laughing along with them! Though the part where your mom thinks you're insane is a bit of a problem! XD And I'm glad that you think that the 'Bots are in character. It's one of my worst fears that they get OOC. I don't really see and end to these Rules. Hopefully I'll get up to Chapter 100 some day! That'll be a sight! Anyhoo! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad that you're enjoying the Fic. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *holds hand up in the air* I, StoleTheSpider, do so solemnly swear that...

Ratchet: *off to the side, watching* What's she doing now?

Me: I will tell nothing but the funny, only the funny, until...

Sideswipe: Mmm? Oh, her. Yeah. She said something about signing herself over to us as our new leader. She made up some oath and now she's going around saying it.

Me: I swear to follow and treat the Transformers with the utmost care until my dying breath and make sure that...

Ratchet: But why is touching everyone's pedes?

Sideswipe: She said something about making it official. You know how humans have to touch that book when they're in the courtroom to make sure that they're telling the truth? It's like that.

Me: I swear to never to covet another automobile or aircraft...

Ratchet: *shakes helm* She's lost what little brain capacity she has left. I'd better go take her down to the Med Bay and do some mental scans.

Sideswipe: Better hurry! I think she's going to seal the deal with blood next!

Ratchet: *shouting* StoleTheSpider! What did I tell you! You do not own the Transformers! Stop trying! Get over here!

Me: Never! I shall own you! My oath is official! *runs off*

Sideswipe: *sighs* Why do we always attract the crazy ones?

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><p><strong>177. Never tell Starscream to 'Say It, Not Spray It'.<strong>

(Starscream keeps gloating that Seekers are the elite when it comes to Cybertronains.)

(I don't know if that's true, seeing as how it's coming from Screamer's mouth, but if it is true, Seekers do certainly have their faults.)

(Take the gloater himself for example.)

(Besides his really hilari- I mean unique body structure, the mech spits like nobodies business.)

(He can't say one word without almost literally drenching any unfortunate mech that happens to be in his range.)

(Me being none to familiar with mechs and their bodily liquids, I have to wonder what it is the he's spitting.)

(Some kind of Cybertronain spit? Or is it some kind of jet related thing like oil?)

(Whatever it is, it's really hard to wash out of clothes and it has quite a distinctive smell to it.)

(I only know because I frequently get soaked with the stuff.)

(Starscream's frequent rage/rants about filthy humans and all that.)

(How we're all worthless, weak, pathetic opticsores and how he'd just love to just squish the lot of us.)

(Seeing as how I'm the only human around that continues to stick around, Starscream takes it upon himself to direct these rant/rages at me.)

(Apparently it's all my fault that humans are so repulsive.)

(With all these little showers that he's been giving me, I think I need to invest in some kind of raincoat.)

(Or rather, some kind of HAZMAT suit.)

(Who knows how dangerous Cybertronain spit is to humans!)

**178. Don't mention Breakdown's death to Knock Out.**

(Not unless you want to be the subject of some rather gruesome 'experiments'.)

(Knock Out may look like he doesn't care about the loss of this partner on the outside…)

(But in the inside…he really misses that bumbling oaf.)

(He's been slipping in his work and he's been seen frequenting the street races more often than normal.)

(Soundwave used to use clips of Breakdown's voice in order to communicate with others.)

(The communications officer took a buzz saw to the face after using one of the clips in audio range of Knock Out.)

(Needless to say, this was enough warning to all other officers, Vehicons, and Eradicons that it was a bad idea to mention Breakdown's death around the medic.)

(Being slightly new to the _Nemesis_, I had no idea about the warning.)

(When I first saw the medic, I naturally asked where his partner was, having heard about him from Starscream.)

(The Seeker made me promise that I would inquire as to Breakdown's health if I saw Knock Out.)

(I had trusted Screamer at the time. Never again.)

(I should have taken the manic gleam that flashed in Knock Out's optics as a warning.)

(But no, I stood there like an idiot until the medic finally lost it.)

(I was almost sliced in half by his buzz saw.)

(I luckily dodged being split in half, but then I had to flee from the multiple plasma blasts that were shot my way.)

(I thought one was supposed to head to the medical to be healed, not hurt!)

**179. Soundwave does need daycare service.**

(All those Cassettes!)

(He could make his own reality show.)

(Megatron and Soundwave plus Eight.)

(Or maybe something a little more catchy.)

(Is Soundwave considered the mother?)

(But considering that the communications officer carries all those little mini cassettes around in his chassis, you think that the mech deserves a break now and again.)

(So I decided to offer up my services as a favor to the 'Con.)

(For no charge, I would watch over any and all of Soundwave's cassettes while he caught up on some work.)

(Soundwave got some time away from his 'kids' and I got my own little cassette army for a few minutes.)

(The first thing that I did when I had all the cassettes under my control was to storm the Energon containment center.)

(I planned on holding it all hostage until my demands were met.)

(Demands like finally allowing me to have a room that wasn't a cell in the brig.)

(To bad the cassettes were less than willing to follow my commands for hostile takeover.)

(They tattled on me as soon as I explained my plans to them.)

(Looks like the Cybertronic apples don't fall far from the robotic tree.)

(I was sent to me 'room' in the brig until Megatron decided what to do with me.)

**180. 'Cons approve of skydiving for the wrong reasons.**

(Anything that's even the slightest bit deadly to humans is all fine by them.)

(When the 'Cons found out about skydiving, they were boarding on ecstatic.)

(They insisted that I try it out as soon as possible.)

(Skydiving as always been on my bucket list, true, but I wanted to try it out when I felt like it.)

(Not under direct orders from Megatron himself.)

(Being strapped in a F-22 Raptor that's about halfway in space is not a pleasant experience.)

(If I jumped at this height, I'd surely be killed.)

(Then again…I think that that's what the Decepticons had wanted all along.)

(Maybe that's why Starscream was humming a jaunty little tune as he carried me to the drop off point.)

(Way higher than planned!)

(No way in Pit was I going to be jumping out of Starscream at this height!)

(I'm sure that anyone who happened to be looking up at the time got a lovely show.)

(Starscream was doing all of these crazy barrel rolls with his cockpit open in an effort to jostle me out.)

(So much for robots in disguise.)

**181. A Decepticon insignia tattoo is a bad idea.**

(It was just a little fake tattoo!)

(I thought that the 'Cons would love it.)

(Instead of loving it, they pretty much flew off that handle when they saw it.)

(Megatron was the worst.)

"How dare some puny fleshling insect place my mark on it's vile fragile shell! Take it off this instant before I slowly peel the offending skin off of your body!"

(Needless to say, I booked it out of his range before he could get the chance.)

(I needed to hide out after that, so I hit the streets while I waited for everything to cool down back on the _Nemesis.)_

(I wasn't planning on meeting some Autobots while I was hiding out.)

(I've never had anything against the 'Bots.)

(Seeing as how I was never technically in the Decepticon ranks, they really never had the reason to attack me.)

(Megatron would offline himself before he would allow a human to join up.)

(So when I saw that Autobots, I thought that it would just be a normal passing.)

(Except this time, they saw the fake 'Con insignia on my wrist.)

(They kind of flipped out at that.)

(Some laughed at the thought that Megaton had become so desperate as to let a human join up.

(Others flipped and tried to terminate me.)

(The weapon's specialist, Ironhide, was the worst.)

(He practically tore down the building that I was hiding in in an effort to get to me.)

(He was shouting about Decepticon scum the whole time.)

(As I was freaking out in the building, I started spitting on my wrist to wash the tattoo off.)

(It came off just in time: my hiding spot was pretty much reduced to rubble.)

(I didn't want to become a fleshy pancake under a pede, so I rushed out and hide behind the least bloodthirsty looking 'Bot.)

(That 'Bot…turned out to be the Prime himself.)

(Thank Primus for Primes, because he was the only reason that I got to escape.)

(Megaton would kill me for sure if he ever heard me say that.)

* * *

><p>Done! Decepticons need some tormenting! XD So! Funny? Ridiculous? Totally strange? Was your Rule to your liking? Feel free to leave a review telling me what you think if you have the time! Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	41. Chapter 41

Aw Primus. I'm just going to say that I'm sorry one time because if I said it as much as I want to…this whole Chapter would just consist of the word 'sorry'. T^T I really am though. Life caught up to me and got a little crazy. Nothing drastic happened; I just fell short on free time. ^^; This Chapter has been a long time coming so I won't keep you all. Enjoy. :)

neonpenguin14 gets all the Credit for Rule #182 with disco being prevented from coming back in style.

elita13 gets the Credit for Rule #183 with Ironhide being frightened by cookware.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #184 with Knock Out making things awkward.

rathchetsfangirl gets all the Credit for Rule #185 with the Autobot's gaining new summer outfits.

**Optimus' girl: **Fanfiction Drama. *sighs* It's happening a lot recently. You just can't let people bother you. It's not like the person who said those things about you is saying them to your face! It's just on the computer. You can ignore it. What are they going to do? All they can do is Caps Lock away until their fingers hurt. :) You just can't let rude people bother you. And I do like your Ideas. I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to use them all! And as for Mermaids...I guess anything is possible! :) And licking the Autobots...XD Sideswipe and Sunstreaker will glitch! Love your new Idea. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :) (P.S. Sorry. Couldn't respond to all of your review here. I'll finish it up next Chapter!)

**Megan666:** Thanks! Gald you enjoyed it! :D I'll probabaly keep writing these little Rules until my hand falls off...Sideswipe and Sunstreaker would never let me stop. Less screen time for them! XD

Disclaimer:

Me: *jiggles wrist and slumps over table* Is this all really necessary? I mean really. Chains? Shackles? Tiny room with barely any light to write by? Don't you all think you're being a tad bit overdramatic?

Optimus: *gives me a stern look as he stands guard*

Me: I know I know. I'm being punished for not updating in a really long time. But come on! Chains! What if I have to use the restroom?

Optimus: *crosses arms over chassis*

Me: *sighs* Adult diaper it is. I bet Sideswipe and Sunstreaker made this little torture chamber. They really need to lay off the late night television. I'm getting a distinct medieval feel from this.

Optimus: *quirks eyebrow ridge*

Me: Yeah yeah yeah. *in low voice* 'Shut up you and get to work. You have a lot of writing to do'. Don't go all Ratchet on me Optimus. But what if I don't feel like writing right now? It's not like I own you all or anything.

Optimus: *sighs and opens the door next to him to reveal Ironhide, grinning wiht his gun at the ready*

Me: Message received! Working now! *scrambles to gather writing utensils together*

Ironhide: You know Prime…you really have a way with words.

Optimus: *smirks*

* * *

><p><strong>182. Disco parties are banned.<strong>

(Jazz is seriously into 60's disco classics.)

(At least, now he is.)

(He likes his music in stages.)

(This new fancy was fine with me…until Jazz started hosting parties to go along with it.)

(The 'Bot bribed Wheeljack to rig up the floor in the Rec Room to flash colors like a disco dance floor.)

(He bedazzled Wheelie and hung him up from the rafters to make a disco ball.)

(He even bought a neon orange Afro wig from a costume store along with some fake bling.)

(To get the party started, Jazz started moon walking across the dance floor, beckoning us all to join in.)

(Everything was going along great and everyone was having a real groovy time.)

(Until Ironhide and the rest of the older mechs burst in and shut down the party.)

(The weapons specialist was the one to blow the whistle on Jazz's little shindig.)

(He, along with the rest of the older mechs, claimed that they were getting processor aches from all the lights and noise.)

(I bet they were just jealous that they weren't invited.)

(Jazz seemed to think that too, because later that night, I spotted Ironhide in the Med Bay with a neon yellow afro mysteriously attached to his helm.)

(Ratchet had a Pit of a time trying to get that sucker off without taking Ironhide's helm off with it.)

**183. Iron pots are for cooking purposes only.**

(Not for pranking paranoid weapons specialists.)

(Leo came running out of the kitchen one day, arms full of various sized cooking pots.)

(He spread all his pots out in in the Rec Room and waited for 'Hide to step in.)

(As soon as the mech did, Leo started hammering away at the overturned pots like he was possessed.)

(Too bad I was behind 'Hide.)

(Because he flipped out.)

(The mech thought we were all under fire and scooped me up unceremoniously with his servo and dived out of the room.)

(I had barely tumbled out of his servo before he dived back in the Rec Room to start firing at enemies that weren't there at all.)

(He did manage to scare the slag out of Leo though.)

(Chia Pet had been laughing so hard that he wasn't paying attention to his prank victim and almost got his rear end blasted off because of it.)

(He's now on kitchen duty as punishment, scrubbing away at the pots that he was previously banging on.)

(Serves him right. I think my butt's bruised from all that mech-handling.)

**184. Knock Out and Optimus do not mix**

(Oh the Decepticon medic…)

(If he had a theme song, it would be "I'm Sexy And I Know It".)

(The fragger does know it, and he uses it to his advantage.)

(He loves making trouble and is 'gifted' with the ability to say just the right thing to make any situation awkward.)

(Knock Out especially loves to use his little gift on Optimus.)

(The cherry red mech keeps calling Optimus by that little nickname that he gave him…"Sweet Rims".)

(Optimus just ignores the trouble maker - actually, I don't think Optimus has said one word to Knock Out since they've met.)

(As for everyone else, we've learned to steer pretty clear of Knock Out.)

(The 'Con medic never passes the chance to wag his silver glossa at the rest of us.)

(We're all in danger of getting cheesy nicknames like Optimus'.)

(Or at least a thorough lecture on appearances and how to keep them pristine.)

(If Ratchet hears one more word about how to correctly wax ones chassis, I think he's going to glitch.)

(We're all trying to keep that from happening. If our medic glitches, who else could fix him other than Knock Out?)

(Optimus is making sure to keep his CMO under close observation from here on out just because of that fact.)

(The last thing he wants is to have to invite Knock Out to base to fix Ratchet.)

(The 'Con medic might think that it's a date…or at least an open invitation to come over anytime he pleases.)

**185. Autobots do not need swimwear.**

(Summer means swimming!)

(And swimming means beach trips and swimsuits.)

(The Autobots don't understand why we humans have to change into a completely different set of clothes just to go swimming.)

(Heck, they still don't understand why we change clothes everyday.)

(So Mikaela and I decided to enlighten the 'Bots a bit.)

(With visual examples.)

(Grabbing some cans out of my now huge collection of paint, Mikaela and I waited for the 'Bots to enter recharge.)

(We then sneaked over to them and began working on our pran- I mean visual example.)

(The next morning, when the 'Bots emerged from recharge, they were in for quite a shock.)

(Their appearances were changed just a bit.)

(They all had neon pink bikinis painted on their frames.)

(Instant swimwear.)

(While Ratchet and Ironhide ranted and yelled about how insulting it was to be to have their frames fouled like this, Sideswipe took a good look at himself.)

(He later confided in me that he thought he had looked quite sexy in the painted on apparel.)

(Leave it to Sideswipe to see the silver lining.)

(Somehow Optimus, in his pink one piece, knew that it was Mikaela and I who had committed the crime.)

(The Prime must be a really light recharger…funny how he didn't stop us sooner though.)

(Either he thinks that his mechs need to lighten up a bit…or he too thinks that he looks sexy in his new swimwear.)

* * *

><p>Primus…Sorry again. I know I said that I would only say it once, but I feel really bad. I still haven't even replied to past Chapter reviews. T^T Things should be calming down around here in a bit and then that should open some more time for writing and posting. Hopefully this long delay will never happen again. )X Thanks for reading and reviewing. Drop me a review on what you think if you have the time. :)<p> 


	42. Chapter 42

Another Chapter for your enjoyment. :) The only thing that I want to say up here in this little A/N is that I know a lot of you are waiting for your respective Rule to pop up in here. I'd just like say that I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to get your Rule in. Worry not, I have not forgotten you or your Rule. Every single submitted Rule has been written down. :) Some Rules have been written down longer than others and I'm trying to get those out first. Recently submitted Rules will take longer to make an appearance than others. If this is making you want to tear your hair out with frustration, I understand. ^^; Feel free to take a couple hits on Sentinel to relieve some anger.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #186 with one environmentalist having a minor glitch over fuzzy trees.

XXAutocon-LeaderXx gets all the Credit for Rule #187 with Halloween coming early.

Crissy-Fenix-Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #188 with humorous crossing of a ballerina and a robot.

ratchetsfangirl gets all the Credit for Rule #189 with a certain CMO making a scene in public.

HypnotisingCosmicScepterofDo om gets all the Credit for Rule #190 with a strange food being strange.

**Guest: **_This was really funny, it_...Thanks! One 'Bots prank experience is another person's pleasure! XD Primus knows that it's my pleasure to Ratchet pranked senseless by the Lambo Twins. X) Poor Medic. As for your Idea...O.O Wheeljack would try to make a proton pack...That could end so disastrously...He might end up sucking someone's faceplates off! Oh Primus...I'm definitely going to use this Idea. :) Thanks for that! And thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad that you're enjoying these Rules. :)

**T.M.D: **Yes! The mental images I got when I was writing the Rule of the 'Bots all snazzied up in their swimwear had me in near hysterics! XD Especially of the stiffer 'Bots like Ratchet and Ironhide! Ironhide in a pink bikini…Phhttt! XD I'm giggling again! Oh Primus…back on subject. Disney songs! Classics each and every one! I suppose that they could get annoying if sung off key for hours by annoying beings like Leo and Skids…Rathcet beware! XD As for your second Rule, sorry but My Little Pony has already been suggested. :( America's Got Talent hasn't though! I can picture the 'Bots with their…'talents'. Mass Mayhem. Glad you're enjoying the Rules and thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Naughtia:** XD It's hard not to laugh at the mental image one gets of Ironhide/Ratchet in their pink bikini's! I wonder how much Energon they would need to be bribed with to actually get them to pose…? It'd probably be loads but the result would be worth it! XD How your mom wasn't too mad at being woken up! Also, glad that you enjoyed the Chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Optimus' girl:** Starscream would do that! Anything to get back at his beloved Lord! XD The mental image I get of Megsie is a white bikini with rainbow poka dots on it is to glitch for! XD The mental image I get of Optimus in his swimsuit is equally hilarious. Pffttt! I can't stop giggling! And I haven't watched an episode of the Rescue Bots yet. Hmmm. Your request has given me the excuse to. And thanks. That means a lot. :) And I don't think Megatron found out about the nickname…If he had…*shudders* Knock Out might not be around anymore. Megatron would probably offline him for fraternizing with the enemy. I'll be sure to look up your old Rule. Ticking Backstabber off is one of my favorite things to do! XD I would hate to torment Bulkhead like that...but anything ot tick that old jerk off! Rule accecpted! XD Anyhoo, thanks for reading and reviewing and for all the Rules. They're great. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *pokes Jolt and giggles*

Jolt: What are you doing human?

Me: Whenever I poke you, your electric powers makes my hair stand straight up. Better than those static electricity balls at the science museum! *pokes Jolt again*

Jolt: *sighs* You are a simple creature, aren't you?

Me: I can't help it that I enjoy the little things in life! You should try it sometime.

Jolt: Hmm. Maybe I will. *charges up and send a tiny jolt through his frame*

Me: Youch! *yanks shocked and sizzled hand off of Jolt's pede*

Jolt: *chuckles* You're right. It is good to enjoy the little things.

Me: *massaging numb hand* Meaner. Glad I don't own you. *sulks off*

* * *

><p><strong>186. Hound does not need to watch 'The Lorax'.<strong>

(Not only are the songs catchy to the point where they make Ironhide want to glitch…)

(But Hound freaks out every time he sees the Once-ler chopping down all the trees.)

(Sideswipe and Cliffjumper had to forcibly drag the frantic mech out of the room when the trees started falling.)

"He's chopping down all the trees just to make those little ugly pink things!? What about the birds?! What about the bears!? That human is destroying their homes! We have to do something!"

(Hound continued his little freak out all the way down to his quarters where Cliffjumper locked him up until Hound had calmed down.)

(But as soon as Hound heard the last few lines of the "How Bad Can It Be" song, he freaked out all over again.)

(Ratchet was too busy trying to figure out how the fish were breathing and walking out of water to calm Hound down.)

(Frankly…I'm still trying to figure that out myself.)

**187. First Aid is not allowed to hand out Halloween candy.**

(Halloween is not for everyone.)

(First Aid, not really understanding the spooky holiday, was assigned to hand out candy to all the Trick-Or-Treaters this year.)

(First Aid being more paranoid about cuts and wounds than Ratchet, practically offlined when he first laid optics on all the costumes that the kids were sporting this year.)

(Just one look at a zombie costume nearly had the poor mech in pieces.)

(It took all of the humans explanations to convince the glitching mech that the oozing wounds on the kids' costumes were just make-up and stickers.)

(Mikaela even went so far as to do Sam up as a zombie, complete with gaping neck wounds, to try and calm Red Alert down.)

(Red Alert doesn't have a spark attack when he spots a Halloween costume anymore.)

(That's only because we let him put Band-Aid's on the kids' Trick-Or-Treat bags.)

(It's his little way of getting used to Halloween.)

(I just keep thanking Primus that there were no Headless Horsemen costumes this year…)

**188. A tutu does not make an Autobot look more 'sophisticated'.**

(Nor does it make them more graceful.)

(Or improve their dancing skills.)

(All it does it make them seriously PO'd.)

(And a bit more bloodthirsty than normal.)

(You think Ratchet and Ironhide would be a bit more appreciative or all the hard work it took to sew those huge tutu's up!)

(Nevertheless the time that it took to actually snap them on their frames when they least expected it!)

(Sunstreaker had to help me out with putting them on the 'Bots.)

(At least Optimus didn't rip his tutu off and chase Sunstreaker and me into the ground like Ironhide and Ratchet did.)

(I never did see his tutu again though…only a lightly charred spot where he had been standing.)

**189. Ratchet is banned from All-You-Can-Eat Buffets.**

(Oh the possibilities.)(Lennox and his team had just returned from a huge fight with the 'Cons and they were seriously starving.)

(Where else to go but to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet?)

(Ratchet was in CMO mode and didn't want to let Lennox and the rest if his team out of his sight.)

(Lennox, undeterred, just invited Ratchet to come along.)

(He was making this little trip into something of a party; everyone was invited to tag along.)

(Inviting Ratchet turned out to be a really bad idea.)

(We all had barely stepped in the restaurant and sat down at our table when Ratchet started one of his little rants.)

(Ratchet's holoform practically jumped up on top of a table, he was getting that into it.)

(He kept going on and on about unhealthy portion sizes and the effects of greasy food on the body.)

(Everyone in the restaurant was staring.)

(Lennox, sneaking peeks at the still ranting Ratchet, slipped out of his booth and gestured for the rest of us to follow him.)

(We all moved to a new table…all the way on the other side of the restaurant.)

(By the time that we had all eaten our fill from the Buffet, Ratchet was only halfway through his rant.)

(We may have to call a Tow Truck to haul Ratchet's alt mode back to base.)

**190. Keep your shwarma to yourself.**

(After watching the Avengers movie for the tenth time, I got a real hankering for some shawarma.)

(Thing is, I had no idea what shawarma even was.)

(After a quick Google search, I found out that shawarma was some kind of crazy meat combination from another country.)

(That didn't deter me from trying some, and it actually just made me want to try it even more.)

(But I just didn't want to just make shawarma myself or go to a restaurant and order it.)

(I wanted to go to New York myself and find a shawarma joint just like the Avengers.)

(The only problem was that I was really, really far away from New York and too poor to buy airplane tickets.)

(I politely asked some Autobots for a ride, but they refused.)

(Bumblebee really wanted to New York for shawarma with me, but he too had to stay at the base.)

(Optimus really didn't want to have his mechs spread out and away from the base in case a Decepticon attack.)

(I definitely couldn't say no to that and that was totally understandable.)

(So I settled for blackmailing Galloway into paying for my plane tickets.)

(Don't ask what the dirt is. All I'm saying is that Wheelie picked up more stuff than you might think from when he was still a 'Con)

(Especially from Soundwave.)

(So now I'm one my way to New York with plenty of huge, empty suitcases to hold all the shawarma that I'm going to be bringing back home.)

(Ratchet better not have a fit about this stuff and try to take it away.)

(The rabid Avengers fangirl inside of me may not take too kindly to that.)

* * *

><p>Another Chapter done. I think some of you guys are going to need some funnies with school starting back up. Hopefully this gets some chuckles from you all. :) Until next Chapter!<p> 


	43. Chapter 43

I am so fraggin' touched. You have no idea. You all rock. I just wanna say that. Reading all the reviews that this Fic has recieved made me all warm and happy inside. I know this sounds cheesy and lame, but I'm totally happy right now. Which also means that I feel totally guilty for not having responded to all of the reviews yet. I am going to respond to them all. I promise. In the meantime, please enjoy this new Chapter of Rules. Hopefully, if your Rule is in here, it is to your liking. :) YOU ALL ROCK! ROLL OUT!

Osprey2012 gets all the Credit for Rule #195 with rust causing one normally brave 'Bot to glitch.

Rockinryou gets all the Credit for Rule #194 with Leo getting around the parental block on websites. Sadly.

Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna gets all the Credit for Rule #196 with dinosaurs making bad habits among 'Bots.

xXAutocon-LeaderXx and TheChippedCup get all the Credit for Rule #191 with some fruit being less than healthy.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #192 with children's shows creeping the a certain weapon's specialist…again.

TheChipppedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #193 with sugar and a catchphrase makeing someone totally boss like.

**T.M.D:**You're welcome. :) As for your new Ideas, I can see a lot of things NOT getting done if the 'Bots had one of those accounts! XD We'd have to hook the 'Cons up with one as well! And Ratchet would be horrible help with history homework. All he'd talk about is the history of Cybertron. Total F on that assignment. X) If Wheeljack watched X-Men...he'd try to make us all mutants...O.O Cool, but scary...And I know a couple 'Bots that would think Garfield is their hero! XD Thanks for the new Ideas! Love them! And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Optimus' girl: **Yeah, I've heard about that. Some people just don't know when to quit or how o be nice. *sighs* How are we suposed to 'Unleash our Imaginations' if we have to watch out for jerks like aht? I dunno. Anyway, yeah! Alsmot did have to book it out of the country! Optimus can be super scary when he wants too! XD And Screamer would have a feild day if he found that Pic! *shivers* That would be a sight to see! And don't worry! optimus should be apperaing in more of these Rules. Can't let him miss out on allthe 'fun'! XD I'll be sure to check those Rules out. :) As for Ratchet and his nagging, I thnk it's just his way of showing that he cares. Kind of like a more intesse Ironhdie Mother Hen. XD And leave it to Wheeljack to turn those mechs into femmes. XD

**Guest: **_I love these rules. They are so..._ :D Thanks! The Lorax was an epic movie. :) It's a fun movie to watch when 'Bots aren't glitching at it. X) As for Ratchet...probably until he drops form lack of recharge or Energon...I think he can keep up a rant for a pretty impressive amount of time! XD Which means that he'll be at the restaurant for a REALLY long time! XD Gotta love 'im though. X) Anyhoo, thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**yum: **YES! REJOICE FELLOW SHAWARMA LOVER, FOR WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD WITH ITS YUMMY-NESS! *coughcough* Anyhoo, thanks for reading and reviewing. :D

**Naughtia: **You never know what you find at Wal-Mart! :D As for money...Sideswipe really loves to street race. The money he gets for winning he gives to Willa to keep her out of his paint collection, lest she switch all his cans of beautiful red paint with something a little bit more sparkly...like glitter paint! XD And you gotta love the mental image! Ratchet and Ironhide alone! XD Anyhoo, thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**LesleyM: **XD Thanks! I'm about as happy as Thor in a Poptart aisle to hear you say that. And that's really happy! XD As for Optimus...he's pretty used to the pranks by now. Especially with 'Sides and 'Sunny around! XD I have to agree with you that a Prime with a sense of humor is the best thing in the world. X) I'm glad that you think that 'Sides and Sunny are written well and not OOC! I will definitely keep writing Rules. :) I see no immediate end to this Fic, if there will ever be one! XD And don't worry about it! If you do have a future suggestion, feel free to turn it in. :) I'll be sure to use it, though it may take me awhile. I'm happy to provide laughs! Especially to fight off horrible things like college. *shivers* Pleasure to be of service! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing. Glad you're enjoying the Rules. :D

**Guest: **_heres a suggestion for you - a while ago i... _I can see Sam or Simmons or someone like that heading out to see a movie overly tired. They _would_ be laughing through that whole thing! Though I haven't seen Ice Age 4 yet, and I really wanted too since I'm a huge Diego fan, I'll still be sure to use that movie in the Rule. :) I'll just look up bits and pieces from other websites about the movie. :) I can just picture the odd looks that they'd be getting for laughing at all the sad parts. X) And thanks. :) It makes me happy that I've given you so many laughs. Hopefully I give you many, many more! :) Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)

**Californiagirl26: **XD Yeah. Even Prime's have to know when they look good! XD Sunstreaker would have glitched! Oh Primus...That would have been something to see. And that would have been embarrassing if Knock Out would have had to have been called to fix Ratchet. Optimus would not have been pleased...As for Ironhide not allowing him on Base…If it was to fix Ratchet...maybe 'Hide would have let Knock Out in...Just maybe. Other than that no way! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: Skywarp! Hey Skywarp! Can you do me a favor?

Skywarp: Wha!? Leave me alone puny fleshling! Don't you normally bother the Autobots for these things?! *stomps off*

Me: *follows him* Yeah. But I like to torment all my favorite Transformers. You just so happen to be one of them. Congratulations!

Skywarp: Aw Primus. *faceslap* First Starscream, now this. Can my life get any better?

Me: Would you rather hang out with me, a little 'ole pathetic human, or Starscream, the biggest whiner and backstabber there is?

Skywarp: I thought you liked Starscream?

Me: Yeah. But I can't hang out with him. He's always shooting at me.

Skywarp: I'm about to do the same…

Me: Uh huh. Don't be mean. I may not own anything of importance yet, like you, but you never know. I just might one day.

Skywarp: Yeah. The day that Megatron joins the Autobots!

* * *

><p><strong>191. No talking fruit. Period.<strong>

(It started off with Sam and I enjoying a few funny Internet videos on Youtube while we were at Base.)

(We were having such a great time laughing at funny cat videos that we were totally surprised when a hot cloud of air rushed over us.)

(Slowly turning around, we saw a very confused Ironhide and Optimus standing behind us.)

(Optimus asked us what exactly we were laughing at. I just shrugged and said 'Funny Internet videos'.)

(The 'Bots didn't really understand our answer, so we made them watch a video of some poor grandma stuck in a tree while trying to rescue her cat, and get this…Ironhide was SMILING.)

(I didn't know his mouth could do that!)

(Optimus, on the other hand, was still pretty confused so we made him watch a few more videos.)

(Just when we thought that Optimus was starting to get the hang of funny videos, we came to Annoying Orange.)

(We only got through a few episodes of the totally random show before the two mechs were called away, leaving Sam and I to head to the Cafeteria for some lunch.)

(The next day, I was walking by the Rec Room the next day when something caused me to do a double take.)

(Optimus was sitting on the floor, neck craned over a small table with his optics narrowed in concentration.)

(He was staring…At an ORANGE.)

(Getting worried, I poked at Optimus for a bit, but all I got was a grunt in reply.)

(When he finally did answer, he said he was making sure this orange did not do something foolish and hurt another fruit like he did in the show that Sam and I made him watch yesterday.)

(I almost burst out laughing, but held myself back and said-)

"You do know those videos weren't real...right?"

(Optimus didn't even answer. He just continued to stare at the orange some more.)

(Hopefully Optimus won't be too upset when he finds out that the videos weren't real…He can be so gullible sometimes when it comes to human things.)

(All I can say is that I told him so.)

**192. 'Booba' is banned.**

(Recently it seems like Annabelle's educational T.V shows are being banned more than our regular shows are.)

(On a side note, I don't really see how 'Booba' is an educational T.V. show at all.)

(All it is is a bunch of different colored puffballs running around.)

(As innocent as they look, they still seem to make Ironhide wary.)

(He seemed to sense something innately evil inside the blobs.)

(Maybe it's the colors.)

(Or maybe there's some kind of secret signal in their songs and dances.)

(Does he think that the blobs are hypnotizing little kids?)

(I'm trying to think like a paranoid, trigger happy, weapons expert.)

(It's not going well.)

(I don't even think Ratchet understands why Ironhide distrusts the show.)

(I asked Ratchet to give 'Hide some processor scans just to make sure that he wasn't losing it.)

**193. You are not "Like A Boss"**

(I got a little bit too 'in the moment', okay?)

(Like a Boss is apparently a new catchphrase kind of thing, and it was pretty cool to use as a caption for certain things.)

(One good example would be me when I was wielding my second new and improved chainsaw that Wheeljack had built me. He even included a 'chain of fire' setting.)

(I was chased Sam around with it all day, happily screaming, "LIKE A BOSS!".)

(Unfortunately, 'The Ghostrider's Chainsaw', as I have happily named it, was confiscated by Optimus.)

(That still didn't keep me from shouting 'Like a Boss!' whenever a 'Bot or human did something awesome.)

(Of course, there's not a lot of awesome things that happen here at Base.)

(So I just had to improvise and shout it when people did their everyday things.)

(Lennox pouring himself some coffee…)

"LIKE A BOSS!"

(Or Optimus stapling some papers together with his giant stapler…)

"LIKE A BOSS!"

(After awhile, some people got very annoyed with all my shouting, but 'Bee and Leo just joined me with my cheerings of 'Like a Boss!' whenever something happened.)

(Turns out that I had annoyed the rest of the Base so much, that when the Decepticons came to call, I was the first person they tossed out on the battlefield.)

(This didn't really affect me because I had eaten so much stolen candy that day that I was as hyper as a chipmunk on coffee.)

(I proceeded to run up to Megatron in my sugar crazed state and did something that shocked everyone that just so happened to be watching.)

(I kicked him. I kicked Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons.)

(Megatron was pretty shocked as well, but just as he got over his shock and was about to squish me under his pede, I threw my hands up in the air, ran away in circles, and screamed…)

"LIKE A BOSS, LIKE A BOSS, LIKE A BOSS, LIKE A FRICKIN' BOSS!"

(Later, when all the sugar drained out of my system, I found out that I had actually helped that day!)

(I had managed to distract and confuse Megsi long enough so that Optimus had enough time to tackle him.)

(I'm such a boss…)

**194. Do not introduce the 'Bots to 4chan.**

"It's like ISpy, but for adults and on the computer! Totally harmless!"

(Like the naïve fool that I am, I actually believed him and played along.)

(Yeah Leo, you're such a fraggin' liar.)

(I think that some of those images are burned into my brain.)

(I had so many involuntary shivers of disgust/horror that Optimus sent me to see Ratchet.)

(To bad Ratchet can't wipe my memories and clear my processor like he did to Sideswipe.)

(Poor 'Bot glitched as soon as he found the hidden image.)

(I think he knows more about humans than he lets on.)

(But that's what he gets for snooping and trying to poke his nose into what we were doing.)

(All I do know is that Leo bumped his way up to the top of my "People To Terminate" list.)

(He even beat Galloway out.)

(I think I'm scarred for life...)

**195. Ironhide is petrified of rust.**

(After that new movie that that Michael guy made of the Transformers, Ironhide is a changed 'Bot.)

(It's all because of the third movie that he recently saw.)

(Acid Rust, the worst way to go out for an Autobot besides Cosmic Rust.)

(And that's how Ironhide died in the movie.)

(He's terrified of any kind of rust now.)

(He constantly polishes and buffs his frame so much that he's a mini beacon.)

(Sideswipe and Sunstreaker think they have competition now.)

(Ironhide also makes sure that all the machines and vehicles on base are spotless.)

(He scans them and checks for even the tinniest particles of rust.)

(If he finds some, he practically tackles the offending machines and scrubs the living Pit out of it.)

(He's evolved from mother hen, to a nervous wreck of a house wife.)

(I think it's kind of funny. Ironhide's got nothing to worry about.)

(It's not like the events in the movie are going to actually come true…Right?)

**196. 'Dinosaurs' can not be used for history lessons.**

(Apparently the show is more of a bad influence than a history lesson.)

(But I figured that the 'Bots could use all the help they could get with the Dinobots.)

(Their first meeting with them was not exactly the best; Teletran 1's still sparking occasionally.)

(But instead of teaching the 'Bots things to know about dinosaurs, they just picked up on the 'Bots bad habits.)

(Now whenever a 'Bot that is not Ironhide tries to pick Annabelle up for babysitting, she whacks her tiny fists on them and screams 'Not 'Hidey!'.)

(Ironhide lets the nickname slide and had to prevent Wheeljack from giving the toddler a tiny frying pan.)

(The Lambo Twins are also taking notes form the show.)

(Now, whenever Ratchet hits them with a wrench, they just throw up their arms and yell 'Again!'.)

(This, in turn, just makes Ratchet even madder and he normally hits them again.)

(It's become somewhat of a competition to see who will break first.)

(Either the Twin's beg for the wrenchings to stop, or Ratchet will finally glitch.)

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><p>Yet another Chapter finished. :) You all enjoy? Laugh? Totally hate? See a spelling mistake? Ew, rhyme. Anyhoo, let me know what you think by dropping me a review if you have the time. I appreciate it! Thanks for reading! Now go out there and watch those epic new Transformers: Prime episodes! Whoot!<p> 


	44. Chapter 44

Right on schedule, your weekly dose of Autobot tortu-I mean hilarity! :D Enjoy! Oh, one thing, when a person gives me a Rule, I write down their current username. That's the name I give Credit for unless you let me know in advance of if I figure it out by your Profile Pic, etc. So if I use your Rule, but use your old username or spell it wrong, I apologize. Let me know and I will change it. :)

Protoran MJ Tornada gets all the Credit for Rule #198 with the Force not being with Wheeljack.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rules #197 and #199 with Jetfire talking…and talking…and being a bit of a 'Con.

supergirlprime gets all the Credit for Rule #201 with Optimus' height helping with an experiment.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #202 with Ironhide hunting monsters in the closet.

Trapezoidal gets all the credit for Rule #200 with a Wii not being Wii-el fun. *ba-dum tish*

**mudtalon215:** Glad you're enjoying it! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

**Guest: **_that was very funny... _:) Glad you're laughing. Hope this Chapter is just as funny as the rest to you. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Chinagal1: **XD Primus, Elita-1 would be even scarier than Megatron if someone sang that song to her! XD And they haven't read any fanfiction about hemselves yet...but that can be ararnged. *evil smile* I can see a few good reasons why a Rule about waffles not being weapons would have to be made. Heh heh heh. I'd love to see your introduction for your third Rule. :D And thanks for saying that. :) I'm glad you think so! Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the Ideas. :)

**T.M.D: **XD Yeah. The mental image busts me up too. Just picturing the look on Megatron's face! XD As for your Rules...Megatron would glitch so hard if someone sand that MLP song to him constantly. Even more so if someone bribed Soundwave to play it around him. *snickers* The Hunger Games...The 'Cons would love that book...They would so make people act it out...*shivers* And I'll definitely be sure to make Knock Out watch that! XD Thanks for all the new Rules! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Tialakit: **Oh my Primus...Mice...Loose...In Ironhide...Pfffhhhtttt! XD He'd be doing the Ants-In-His-Pants-Dance! That, or totally spazzing out, shooting things, and generally making so much chaos that Ratchet would have to tackle him and tie him down to the medical berth just to get the mice out. Snakes! Snakes would be even better! Slippery, thin, snakes! XD Totally epic...*sighs happily* Ironhide's so fun to torture. Anyway, thanks for the new Rule and for reading and reviewing. :)

**JC: **XD Thanks! Glad that you're enjoying it! Ooh! A giant Bopit! That would be epic! As for Tobuscus...he is stinkin' hilarious! XD I loved his trailers! Just watching him play Slender made me nearly die laughing! XD Oh Primus...When he's talking about Assassin's Creed and the Dubstep music comes on…XD I could go on for days. Anyhoo, thanks for the new Rules, reading, and for reviewing. :) I really want to watch more Tobuscus now...

**Optimus' girl: **Red Alert would flip! XD And that babay can MOVE! XD Fruit is pretty epic. :) Just not when it talks...TuT I did get your Megatron Rule. I'm definitly going to use the one wiht the pictures because, lucky for the Decepticons, most of the Internet sites are not banned over there. *evil grin* Knock Out's not going to like me afte rthis...XD Pretty much anything annoys Ratchet, but Optimus is harder to anger. We'll have to wrk on this...And toy Transformers! Aww! Ratchet would be overjoyed! XD I think that Skids and Mudflap might avoid Annabelle for a bit if they saw her try to transform one of their toys wiht her clumsy toddler hands. So much manahndling...XD And Optimus would act like that. X)

**16DarkMidnight80: **XD Glad that you enjoyed it! And pleasure to be of service. :) Glad that this made your day a little bit better. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**ZAFT Prime: **Glad that you're laughing! :D I aim to please! :) And love the new Rules. :) There are so many possibilities when it comes to making Ratchet glitch and messing with the mainframe! XD And teasing Ratchet about his wrench obsession is always a plus. He's so sensitive about them! XD Pushing him too far might be a bit dangerous though...O.O Anyhoo, thanks for the new Rules. :) Also, thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Naughtia: **I don't blame him either! X) Poor mech...Maybe some therapy is in order...And glad that you enjoyed the Chapter. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

* * *

><p><strong>197. There is no need for Jetfire to share his war stories.<strong>

(He's a great distraction, Jetfire.)(If you get him started on one of his old war stories, he'll go on for ages.)

(It doesn't even take much to get him started.)

(The old Seeker just has to see something that faintly reminds him of something that happened to him in the past and he'll be off!)

(Ranting and raging about how things were totally different in his day and how he's getting too old for this new confounded slag.)

(Primus. He's really distracting on the battlefield.)

(Especially when the Dinobots are around. They love listening to his stories and will stop fighting to hear them better.)

(Jetfire himself sometimes gets so into his stories that he stops fighting as well, using dramatic arm gestures to prove his point.)

(This annoys Optimus to no end.)

(Maybe there's a retirement home for Cybertronains that we can drop Jetfire off at…)

**198. Wheeljack is not allowed to watch Star Wars.**

(He made all the humans on Base light sabers.)

(Real live working light sabers.)

(It was the coolest fraggin' thing ever.)

(Leo and I ran around the Base for the rest of the day having epic Jedi fights.)

(It was really fun, 'Bee even joined in on the fun by playing the Star Wars Theme over his speakers, but all good things must come to an end.)

(Our Jedi fights did when Leo tripped and accidentally chopped a bit of Ironhide's pede off.)

(Totally harmless; I'm pretty sure that Ironhide didn't feel a thing.)

(Well…maybe that's not true…it seemed like he felt something.)

(They way he was hopping around and cursing were evidence of that…)

(Leo and I ran for the hills as soon as we saw that chunk of Ironhide's pede hit the ground, so we had to rely on Sam's explanation of what went down.)

(We're not coming out of hiding until 'Hide has had some time to cool down.)

(That's not going to happen anytime soon because every time Ironhide walks by, 'Bee makes things worse by playing the Imperial March.)

(Nice going reminding him 'Bee!)

**199. Jetfire is not 'confused'.**

(The mech may look old and worn, but he's actually a force to be reckoned with.)

(He was with the Decepticon Seekers before he became an Autobot.)

(What happened was that Leo and Sam were poking fun at the elderly mech.)

(Guess who's audio range they were in?)

(One angry rant about how disrespectful we fleshy whippersnappers were and a surprise warp later, Sam, Leo, and Wheelie are back in Egypt.)

(With me included.)

(When Jetfire had finished his rant and teleported Sam and Leo, Wheelie and I were unfortunate enough to be standing near them.)

(We got sucked into Jetfire's warp and dumped of in Egypt as well.)

(Now we're all really sore, really ticked off, and really hot.)

(I swear, when we get rescued and flown back to base, I'm going to give Sam and Leo a rant that would make Ratchet proud.)

(But for now, I'm too tired and hot so I settled with throwing sand in their eyes and listening to Leo squeal about how it burned his contacts.)

(At least we finally got Wheelie to shut up…he's buried in the sand behind us.)

(Ratchet's gonna glitch when he finds out about all the sand he's going to have to remove him his tiny gears.)

**200. Leave any and all video game systems at home.**

(I can't even bring my ancient Game Boy over anymore.)

(And it's not because Ironhide thinks that it might be a Decepticon in disguise.)

(No, it's all Leo's fault…again.)

(He had wanted to up Game Night a bit more, so he brought his Wii system over to play with instead of regular board games like Sorry and Monopoly.)

(Technological wizard that he is, Leo soon had the system hooked up to the Autobot sized T.V. in the Rec Room.)

(All negative thoughts about how much trouble we could get in vanished as soon as we saw the Super Smash Bros. title screen pop up on the T.V.)

(Diving into the game, Mikaela, Sam, Leo, and I played for what seemed like five straight hours.)

(We only came out of out game coma when we felt the ground start shaking.)

(We all thought that it was an earthquake and immediately sought out our Autobot friends to ask what was going on.)

(Turns out that while we were all playing, the Decepticons decided to start attacking multiple cities across the country.)

(The Autobots would have been warned far in advance of the Decepticons actions…but their main warning device, the T.V, was being used for our video games…)

(The Autobots didn't receive the alarms because we were hogging the T.V.)

(Now they were in a mad scramble to divide themselves up correctly to take on the Decepticons.)

(I'm sure that when all the 'Cons are sent packing and when the fighting dies down we'll be given a lengthy speech about using things that are important and not for our silly things like human video games without permission.)

(But for now…Who's up for another round of Super Smash Bros.?)

**201. The penny drop myth has already been proven.**

(The Mythbusters were the ones that performed the Myth.)

(Something about how if a penny is dropped from a really high place that it will speed up enough in it's decent to kill a person on impact.)

(Psh. I don't believe that for a second.)

(And neither did Annabelle.)(Which is good, because if I didn't have her, I don't think I could have done what I did?)

(What we did was gather up as much pocket change from as many people as we could and sought out the tallest 'Bot that we knew.)

(Optimus Prime.)

(I knew that Optimus would not really want to be a part of our little experiment that Annabelle and I were performing.)

(So I had to use my secret weapon.)

(The weapon of cute that was Annabelle Lennox.)

(Giving Optimus the cutest little puppy dog look that would have put Bumblebee to shame, Annabelle convinced Optimus to raise her and me up to the tippy top of his helm.)

(There, while hopping not to fall, we dropped both of out pennies off of Optimus' helm so that an observing Leo could take all the necessary data and such.)

(After Optimus lowered both Annabelle and I back down to the ground, I gathered up all the data from Leo so we could make out verdict.)

(I bet Adam and Jamie never thought of this when they tell people not to try their experiments at home!)

**202. The movie 'Monsters Inc.' is banned.**

(It being a Disney/Pixar movie, I figured that it was harmless, so I brought it over to the Base for Annabelle to watch before nap while I was babysitting her.)

(Tucking Annabelle into the small cot that provided for her nap time, I popped in the movie for her to watch as she fell asleep.)

(Turns out that my choice of movie was a bad one.)

(I was in the Cafeteria grabbing a bite to eat when I heard Annabelle's scream for 'Hide.)

(The mother hen with cannons came running faster than Sideswipe runs from fresh tar.)

(Running pell-mell to Annabelle's cot, I saw that she was all huddled under the covers with 'Hide standing above her, cannons humming to life and a threatening look on his faceplates.)

(After showing 'Hide that I meant no harm, I ducked past him to ask Annabelle what was wrong.)

(She poked her head out from under the covers and gave me the most tear jerking face ever while whimpering out…

"I is afraid that the monsters is gonna get me like the scary ones in the movie…"

(So that was why the T.V and VCR was now in the middle of a smoking crater…)

(Calming Annabelle down and coaxing her out from under her covers, I reassured her that the movie was not real and that monsters were not going to get her.)

(The toddler was not convinced as still believed that monsters were going to get her.)

(Ironhide now sleeps over the Lennox household to make sure that Annabelle's safe and I'm on his black list for awhile because I was the one to scare her like that in the first place.)

(I'll need to watch my back…)

* * *

><p>:D Finished! This leaves you more time to watch those epic new Transformers Prime episodes! GO SMOKESCREEN! :D And isn't the mental image you get of Ironhide guarding Annabelle while she sleeps from monsters in her closet or under the bed like Randal so adorable! ^u^<p> 


	45. Chapter 45

Ratchet: *glances at information bar on top of Fic* Wait-What!? She hasn't updated this pointless little hodgepodge of Rules since the beginning of this human month?

Sideswipe: *outraged* I haven't been able to show off to my many adoring fans since forever! Make her update now!

Ironhide: *sits in corner, polishing his cannons* I can't complain. I'm having a really nice break from having to listen to that human pest Galloway's ramblings and pesterings.

Ratchet: *muses* Yes. That silence is rather nice, but I cannot let this laziness go on any longer. I shall be back shortly.

**Chinagal1:** Glad you're back! And I love you're new Rules! XD The first one, the doing the robot one, sadly has already been submitted and used. Sorry about that. Loved your description that went with it though. XD And I will probably eventually make a sequel for Rule 38. One cannot be the Master of Death without causing a little chaos, no? X) And leaving that kind of fanfiction behind for poor 'ole Optimus to find would be a terribly awkward thing to do. *evil smirk* Good thing I like trying to shake things up a bit around base. Sorry about your first Rule being taken, but the other one was not! I'll be sure to use it. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Optimus' girl:** XD Thanks! I'm glad that you're still with this Fic after all this! And that you're still lovin' the Rules! XD As for your reviews, yeah. Jetfire will pretty much babble his war stories to anyone who'll listen...or anyone who won't! XD And that movie freaked me out when I was a little kid! Randal scared the slag outta me! Now, not so much, but back then...I always used to make sure that my closet door was securely shut before I went to bed. It's a habit that I still haven't dropped, no matter how hard I try! X) Sorry it's taken me so long to use all your Rules. There are a lot! I totally didn't know that there are Sims versions of Transformers! Where can I get one of those!? And Elita is one scary femme when angered! I'd be running with you! She'll be after Screamer, me, you, and probably Knock Out for good measure! Mixing Elita and High Grade would also be a scary combination…O.O Loved your new Rules and I will be sure to add them to the list of 'Need To Do'. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**LesleyM:** :o Terrible! How can your T.V. not like watching Transformers Prime! The new episodes have just been spectacular! It's good that you've been watching them on Youtube. :) I guess everyone sees Ironhide as the kind of grumpy uncle that's just a riot to wind up! XD Bumblebee being one of the worst winders! And Optimus is epic and very, very regal. I can't disagree with you there. :) No one can resist the puppy eyes! If Sam tried it...XD I can see that. He'd probably just look constipated! Thanks. :) And thanks for reading and reviewing. Glad that you're enjoying the Rules. :)

**Naughtia:** It would... It would...NO ONE can resist the cute that is 'Bee. I don't think even Galloway could. And Megatron was either partying at the thought of actually getting away with something diabolical without half of his mechs being blasted to bits...or totally paranoid and glitching that it was some sort of trap and that they were playing with his processor or something like that. Either way, it'd still be hilarious! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Ratchet: *barges into my room and sees me slumped over laptop, sleeping* Wake up! Wake up this instant!

Me: *starts awake* Huh! Whowhatwhere?!

Ratchet: *crosses hands over chassis* What are you doing? Slacking off?

Me: No! I'm just trying to-!

Ratchet: *cuts me off* No excuses! Get back to work! Now, before I have to start using force! *pulls trusty wrench out of subspace compartment in arm and waves it threateningly at me*

Me: Meep! Yes sir! Right away sir! *scrambles to collect papers and boot up laptop*

Ratchet: *smirks* That's what I thought. Now if I could only get Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to follow my orders and behave like this.

Me: *mutters while typing* Thank Primus I don't own a grumpy old dinosaur like you.

Ratchet: *raises eye ridge* What was that?

Me: Nothing! *gets back to work*

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><p><strong>203. Do not start a swear jar.<strong>

(Sarah doesn't really want Annabelle to come over to the base anymore because of all the cursing that's going on.)

(Mostly from Ratchet and Ironhide.)

(Sarah's afraid that she'll pick up some of the more…creative words from the pair and repeat them at school.)

(Wouldn't that be a scream?)

(Ironhide would be so proud.)

(So, in order to prevent any catastrophes at Annabelle's preschool, Lennox and Sarah started up a swear jar.)

(Any human that was caught swearing had to put a dollar in the jar.)

(Any Autobot that was caught swearing received one solid whack on the helm from one of Ratchet's wrenches.)

(The only problem was that we had no one to give the whacks.)

(Ratchet was one of the main mechs being watched for the swear jar and he couldn't really be trusted to whack himself.)

(That left an unwilling Optimus to do the whacking.)

(In the end, the swear jar was pretty effective in stopping all human cursing…not so much with the Autobot ones.)

(Optimus really didn't want to hit his own mechs, so when a mech was busted for cursing, the whacks that he gave them weren't really whacks.)

(More like feather light taps.)

(Sarah's back at the drawing board.)

**204.** "**ONE MAN! ALONE!"**

(The main point of this Rule is…stop harassing Simmons.)

(That moment in Egypt with Devastator was the greatest moment of his life.)

(We were all ruining it for him by teasing him.)

(In my defense, all that we did was shout "ONE MAN!" when Simmons passed us in the hall.)

(Eventually the whole base picked up on the tease.)

(Skids made the teasing worse.)

(He went whole 'nother step further by playing the actual sound recording of Simmons when he was hitching a ride in his alt mode.)

(You can hear Leo in the background shouting "Stop saying that! I'm in the car! You're not alone!".)

(It was pretty hilarious.)

(It became hysterical when Simmons stopped talking to the lot of us and gave the whole base the silent treatment.)

(We'll eventually have to make it up to him.)

(Maybe there's some other huge apocalyptic secret that Bumblebee can dig up for him as a present.)

**205. If you're double jointed, please keep that information to yourself.**

(And don't freak Ratchet out with it.)

(Because, Primus forbid he catch you twisting in way that is not anatomically correct.)

(He will grab your sorry aft and drag it all the way down to the Med Bay for medical scans.)

(Thinking that something is broken or fractured, he will then wrap you up like a Christmas present and tie you down to a medical berth.)

(It doesn't matter if multiple people try to convince Ratchet that double joints are completely normal in some people and totally harmless.)

(He'll ignore everyone and keep you tied down to a medical berth until he's sure that you're perfectly okay.)

(At least it was Ratchet that caught Leo showing off his double joints and not Wheeljack.)

(For if Wheeljack had caught him showing off…he would have carted Leo off to his lab for so many different reasons.)

(Many of them having to do with plans that strongly resemble Mike TV after his little accident in Willy Wonka's factory.)

(Totally stretched and rubbery.)

(Wheeljack is only interested in human anatomy for all the wrong reasons.)

**206. The misuse of duct tape is forbidden.**

(Everyone knows that it has been a lifelong dream of mine to duct tape something to the ceiling.)

(But they didn't think that I would actually follow through with my little obsession.)

(I was discreet at first, only taping small things together like tears in wallets and stuff.)

(Eventually I moved on to bigger things, like testing just how much duct tape can hold up.)

(When I was satisfied with my little experiments, I put my main plan into action.)

(I guess my research before my main plan could be considered stalking, but it was all in the name of duct tape.)

(All I did was follow Wheelie around for a few days to see what his daily schedule was so I could be sure to catch him alone.)

(I wouldn't want his girl-ish squeals to attract any unwanted attention. That'd put a real kink in my plans.)

(So, when I was sure that I would be able to corner the ex-'Con alone, I grabbed my duffel bag full of neon green duct tape and moved into action.)

(The next morning, no one really noticed that Wheelie was missing…)

(Until some people caught sight of the neon green mummy that was plastered to the ceiling faintly resembling one tiny Cybertronian.)

(I guess they didn't hear his tiny mosquito pitched yells for help.)

(Good thing I also clogged Wheelie's cannons with duct tape, because if I hadn't, I'm pretty sure that I'd have a thigh full bullets by now.)

(Pretty sure that I'll have a huge bruise from one of Ratchet's wrenches when he see's what I've done to Wheelie's cannon.)

**207. Scary movies are to be restricted.**

(Or at least…pick scary movies that don't have so many 'jump scenes'.)

('The Woman in Black' was a really bad choice for our now weekly movie night.)

(I kind of purposely picked this one on purpose because of Sideswipe.)

(So full of himself, he was, that he said that he couldn't possibly be scared that anything that a puny human had made.)

(I challenged him to that and rushed off to the closet movie store that I could find.)

(Since it was the weekend, all of the really good scary movies had already been rented out.)

(All that was left were a few copies of 'Zombieland' and 'The Woman in Black'.)

(The Autobots still remember my little Tallahassee imitation so 'Zombieland' was out.)

(Besides, that movie wasn't even scary.)

('The Woman in Black' it was.)

(I had no idea what the movie was about or that it would freak out the 'Bots so much.)

(Sideswipe was practically glitching in his seat, every jump scene making him twitch and jump like a frightened rabbit.)

(I wasn't much better, hiding behind Bumblebee's pede on the floor and squealing like a stuck pig every time something scary happened.)

(Ratchet just sat there, scoffing occasionally at "the absurdity of humans sometimes".)

(In his opinion, there is no possible way for ghosts to exist, and he can't believe that Sideswipe and I were so easily frightened by something that wasn't even real.)

(He even refused to wipe Sideswipe's memory banks of the memory, leaving the 'Bot face the night with the movie replaying through his processor again and again.)

(All I know is that I'm definitely sleeping with the lights on tonight…Sideswipe probably will be as well.)

* * *

><p>Pwah. Still gotta respond to all the other reviews and such. Sorry that this Chapter was mostly my Rules. Wrote them mainly as a little gift to this Fic. This little set of Rules is officially one year old today! Anyway, I still plan on updating tomorrow with your guys' Rules. :) I know that it's been ages...again. T T I hope you enjoy them. :) THANKS FOR READING AND STICKING WITH THIS FIC! :D<p> 


	46. Chapter 46

I have so many reviews that I need to respond to. I am so unworthy of all of them! I can't even get the ones that have happened Chapters ago done! Augh. I am so sorry. I really am working on them. I have a whole Chapter's reviews done and ready to be sent out. It's just that I need to actually log in to Fanfiction and send them out. Other than that, they're all almost pretty much done. I am so sorry. Here is your promised Chapter.

Amelia gets all the Credit for Rule #208 with one little cleaner bot causing a lot of trouble.

Link's Rose and Topkicker26 both get all the Credit for Rule #209 with portals becoming a reality and perfect for spying.

Optimus' girl gets all Credit for Rules #210 and #211 with Sentinel showing his true jerky colors and Ratchet glitching about his wrench collection.

Osprey2012 gets all the Credit for Rule #212 with a ranting contest of epic proportions.

Disclaimer:

Me: Heh heh heh. *sneaks into kitchen* One tiny cookie. Ratchet will never know.

Ratchet: *walks in* Ratchet will never know what?

Me: *freezes* That...*lightbulb goes off above head and shouts* THAT THIS COOKIE IS OWNED BY ME AND YOU ARE NOT SO ANY POSSIBLE REALTIONSHIP THAT YOU TWO WERE HAVING IS NOT OKAY WITH ME! I SHALL BE TAKING MY COOKIE AND LEAVING NOW! GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR! *dashes off with cookie in hand*

Ratchet: *stares after me, totally startled* By the Allspark...

* * *

><p><strong>208. Do not introduce the Autobots to Roomba<strong>

(Let's face it…this is a huge base…and the people who reside here are busy 24/7.)

(And while this is a military type building, that doesn't mean that there're maids here.)

(It's mainly just the N.E.S.T. guys, some government stiffs, and some teenagers.)

(No one has time to clean, which means that this base gets pretty messy sometimes.)

(Mostly the Rec Room and the kitchen.)

(Sam doesn't clean at his own house! You think that he's going to clean at base?)

(…Well…I wouldn't either.)

(So I decided to stop at the convenience store and pick up a Roomba.)

(This thing would slide around on the floor and vacuum without anyone having to direct it.)

(It even made its own little map of the place, planning out obstacles and stuff so that it ran into things less.)

(I thought it sounded pretty cool when I explained the robots purpose to the guys and 'Bots, but they were less than thrilled.)

(Ironhide was the worst, thinking that the robot could be a Decepticon spy and send it's plans of our base over to the 'Cons.)

(The rest of the guys thought that it would just be an annoyance, always underfoot and liable to get in the way.)

(I pleased for the mall just to give the helper robot a chance, just a week, but the thing didn't even last that long.)

(It had been mysteriously stepped on and smashed just a day after I brought it home…)

(Yeah. It's a real mystery.)

**209. Portal is not allowed on Base.**

(Whoever makes up these random video games seems to have Wheeljack in mind.)

(This time it's Portal.)

(It's actually a really fun game to play.)

(And like every video game that Leo plays, he really gets into it.)

(His exuberant crows of success at beating Sam at a level must have been what drew Wheeljack to see what we were doing.)

(He had barely laid optics on the game for more than a few seconds before he bolted off to his Lab and locked himself in.)

(The next day, Wheeljack proudly presented us with our own Portal making machines.)

(They worked on solid surfaces only, but that didn't make them any less epic.)

(We spent the next hour spying on mechs and humans without their knowing of it.)

(The best part was watching Galloway pick his wedgie when he thought no one was watching.)

(Leo kind of blew our cover…)

"Got some mail Galloway?"

(The liaison whirled around faster than the speed of light and blushed as red as Sideswipe's paint.)

(As soon as he realized who we were, his face went from embarrassed to angry and would have throttled the lot of us if we hadn't escaped through our Portal.)

(I still can't stop laughing!)

**210. Sentinel is not to be left with young 'Bots.**

(The big chinned jerk takes advantage of any 'Bot that falls for his talk.)

(Any new recruits that pass through have to be kept as far away from the glitch as possible.)

(But the sad thing is that all recruits have to meet the fragger at some point.)

(Mostly in training.)

(But Sentinel's training isn't training per say.)

(More like slave training.)

(Ultra Magnus popped in for a surprise visit and found Sentinel ordering the young recruits around like they were his personal slaves.)

(The big chinned jerk got quite a tongue lashing from, not Ultra Magnus, but Ratchet, who was stopping in to give the new recruits their first checkups.)

(Ultra Magnus almost literally had to drag Ratchet out of the room to get him to calm down.)

(The newbies definitely won't try to get on Ratchet's bad side now.)

**211. Leave Ratchet's wrench collection alone.**

(The mech treats those things like they're his sparklings.)

(He polishes them every night and locks them up in their own personal safe in his room.)

(All this attention to inanimate objects is worrying to some, but one sound smacking from said wrenches puts all tittering and gossip to rest.)

(But that doesn't mean that it's stopping the pranks…especially from Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.)

(They had planned out this totally epic prank for Ratchet that involved his pretty little wrench collection.)

(They had snuck into Ratchet's room last night and swapped his regular wrenches with squeaky toy plastic preschool ones.)

(What they did with Ratchet's orginal wrenches, I have no idea.)

(Wherever they were, the location was a secret that they were apparently going to take to the grave.)

(Or… at least to the Med Bay, where they both ended up after Ratchet found out about what had happened to his wrenches and just who had taken them.)

(I cringe everyime I think about how angry Ratchet was.)

(Scarier than Megatron

**212. There is no such thing as a 'ranting contest'.**

(Ratchet and Jetfire have got to be the biggest ranters/naggers in the history of Cybertron.)

(Ratchet's little speech at the restaurant last week is total evidence of that.)

(And don't get me started on Jetfire and his crotchety war stories.)

(It was a match made in heaven to have these two get together and talk.)

(I thought that they would have civil conversation about how terrible we all are and how things were better back in the old days before the War.)

(At least, that's how their conversation started.)

(But apparently Jetfire picked up a few things from when he was with the Decepticons because he immediately started rubbing Ratchet the wrong way.)

(Maybe it's because neither mech can admit that they're wrong.)

(Now they're both over there, practically spitting in each other's faceplates as they argue.)

(Optimus may have to be called to break this own up…)

(Leo is taking bets on which is the biggest ranter and which one will be the first to lose this 'ranting contest'.)

* * *

><p>*is off responding to reviews* Expect to get a full inbox of really old messages.<p> 


	47. Chapter 47

Monday post! I swear I was gonna post this on Friday but…*goes to sit in time-out corner* I'll just post it today because who can honestly say that they actually ENJOY Mondays? I hope this brightens your Monday a tiny bit, even if you do actually like Mondays. Enjoy. :)

sheekblack gets all the Credit for Rule #213 with the recharge of one 'Bot providing some entertainment.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #214 with the Hunger Games making the 'Bots anything but hungry.

supergirlprime gets all the Credit for Rule #215 with Wheeljack being the master of revenge when angered.

Crye 4 Me gets all the Credit for Rule #217 with Lennox becoming…agitated because of a YouTube video.

HypnotisingCosmicScepterofDo om gets all the Credit for Rule #216 with the Avengers becoming quoting fodder.

**Optimus' girl:** I didn't get to see the third MIB movie. I hope it comes out on DVD soon. I also hope that they do make a fourth MIB. I really love those movies. XD And yeah, Sentinel is pretty hard-headed. But mostly a jerk. I don't think I'd want Sunny or 'Sides to be the next Prime! They'd focus more on pranking the Decepticons than beating them in combat. Ratchet would be in a constant glitch. X) I think Jetfire might beat Ratchet at ranting. He's older, therefore has had more experience with it. XD Ratchet sure could give him a run for his money though! And I'm sure they weren't serious. Just messing around. :) I'll see what I can do about having a movie night over at Megaton's place. He's kind of a stick in the mud...and he hates humans...but no one can say no to a good movie and free popcorn! XD Hopefully Screamer won't scream too loud! XD Thanks for the new Rules, for reading, and for reviewing. : )

**Hawky:** Yeah, already used Nemo. Sorry. ^^; Simon Says hasn't! Impersonating Optimus has been used too...Sorry again. Other people are beating you to the punch! ^^; I can definitely see the Simon Says Rule going down though. I know a few 'Bots who would take the came waaaayyyy too seriously! I know another two *coughSunnycoughSides* who might use this game for their devious pranks! XD Thanks for the new Rule! Glad you love the Fic! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

**16DarkMidnight80:** I wouldn't dare pick on Megsie for the fear! It's a legit fear! I don't think there's a 'Bot or 'Con out there who ISN'T afraid of Ratchet's Wrenches Of DOOM! I can definitely make this one into a Rule. :) Thanks for that. :) Definitely going to use the Homecoming Week Rule. Lots of fun to had with that one! XD The rest of the Rules are hilarious and I'll be sure to use them all. I think my favorite is telling Megsie and Screamer that they fight like an old married couple! XD They're faces! I'll definitely almost die for this, but it'll be totally worth it! XD Totally funny Rules! And thanks for reading and reviewing. :) You're welcome for the laughs. :)

**nightwing:** X) Thanks. Who doesn't love the 'Bots? :D And I'm glad that you like this story. :) I remember watching AVP at a friends house...just not the movie itself...^^; This may take some Googling. Is there anything in particular you want this Rule to be about? A certain 'Bots reaction to it? Annabelle's reaction to it? Leo comparing the Aliens to Deceptions and the 'Bots to Predators? Something like that? Or do you want me to wing it? It's your Rule so you get first say. :) Thanks again for saying that you like this Fic and thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the new Idea! :D

**Goginzu:** :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDD HERE ARE MORE RULES! I AIM TO PLEASE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD XD I hope you enjoy! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Chinagal1:** Probably because she's even scarier to mess with than Ironhide, Ratchet, and Megatron combined! You mess with Elita-1, and you better have a fast pair of running shoes! XD I don't even think Sunny and 'Sides mess with her! As for Galloway, he's in the second Transformers movie. He's the National Security Advisor for the President and later the official liaison to N.E.S.T...sadly. He's a huge aft, hates the 'Bots, and gets on everyone's nerves. Lennox eventually throws him out of a plane in the middle of nowhere just to be rid of him...with a parachute of course. All in all, he's really REALLY annoying. Ugh. Anyhoo! Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D

**JC:** Totally! So much fun could be had with those machines...*devious smile* I know loads of people I could prank with those! XD And I laughed at that part in the movie too! Poor Simmons...Crazy dude. XD Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Guest:** _Hiya I really like... _Thanks! :D No Rule is stupid! Believe me! Some of the things that I've come up with to torment the 'Bots are totally strange! XD And Unicron would have a blast with Halloween! Scaring 'Bots is his forte! He'd probably be way to good at it! I feel bad for any trick or treaters that would be unfortunate enough to pass by him while he plans out his Halloween traps for the Autobots! Crying children…Crying children everywhere...Anyway! Totally wicked Rule! I'll be sure to use it. :) Thanks for that. And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Naughtia:** The Twins would enjoy hitting! XD As for Ratchet's wrenches, I think he stores them all in his arm subspace compartments so that they're on hand and ready to be thrown whenever either Twin frags something up! XD Ready at all times! XD And thanks for that! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: *walks past with butterfly net over shoulder, whistling a happy tune*

Sideswipe: *quirks an eye ridge* Why are you so peppy?

Me: Because. I think I may have found a way around the whole 'not-owning- you-thing'.

Sideswipe: *scoffs* Oh really? Do I have to remind you about all of your other failed attempts?

Me: No, because this one is going to work! You'll see.

*1 Hour Later*

Me: *walks past again, still whistling, but with now struggling butterfly net*

Sideswipe: What the…What's in the net?

Me: My ransom. Either you all surrender ownership of yourselves to me, or you'll never see Wheelie again. You have two hours to think it over. Go talk to Prime if you have to.

Sideswipe: …*snorts with laughter* Ha! You seriously think that Optimus and Ratchet are going to give themselves up for someone like _Wheelie_!? You're dreaming!

Me: …Oh…Now that you mention it…Dang it! *stomps off* I don't own the Transformers!

* * *

><p><strong>213. Any possibility of sleepwalking must be reported to Ratchet.<strong>

(It was the last, and I mean LAST, thing I thought I would see.)

(While staying at the base overnight, I got an intense hungering for something sugary and sweet during the middle of the night.)

(I couldn't just waltz into the kitchen, like nothing wrong could possibly happen, to get my sugary fix.)

(Ratchet, the dictator of foods, never recharges…or at least, that's what it seems like.)

(Knowing him, he's probably set up a patrol for the kitchen area or some secret spy camera so that he can catch any poor unfortunate soul that really wants something unhealthy to eat.)

(Because of that, I knew that I had to be as sneaky as possible.)

(So I donned every piece of black clothing that I owned and snuck down into the kitchens.)

(The trip was going surprisingly well, I hadn't seen one nut or bolt of Ratchet.)

(What I did see scared the living scrap out of me.)

(As I was trying to sneak around a corner and into the kitchen, a huge shadow loomed overhead and, thinking that it was Ratchet finally catching me in the act, I screamed a little bit.)

(Turns out that it was just Wheeljack…sleepwalking…or would it be rechargewalking?)

(I was just going to leave him be and continue on with my mission.)

(But Wheeljack had multiple power tools running in his hands and I figured that that was a health concern in itself.)

(I ran to Ratchet right away…looks like there would be no cookie tonight.)

**214. Anything to do with "The Hunger Games" is banned.**

(I loved the books, loved the movie, and just couldn't resist showing the 'Bots my new obsession.)

(Why should I be the only one fantasizing about what District I would be perfect in or what my Opening Ceremony outfit would look like?)

(Of course, when I get excited about things, things never really go as planned...)

(Optimus was kind of horrified at the fact that, in some kind of future, kids would be killing one another for sport and food.)

(Ratchet was fascinated by the Tracker Jackers and their ability to sting people to death.)

(He also was interested in the cream that could heal burns so quickly…and…pretty much all of the medical stuff.)

(Typical Ratchet.)

(Ironhide's reaction scared me a little...)

(He said that he hoped that they would make the Hunger Games a reality, and that I would be one of the first kids to be picked to go.)

(He's so nice.)

(Sadly, Bumblebee must have overheard Ironhide and I talking and thought that we were telling the truth.)

(Thinking that the Hunger Games were soon to become a reality, the Scout is now hiding out somewhere with Sam, so that when the Games start, no one can find his charge and take him away.)

(It's kind of cute in a sad way...)

(Wheeljack's, on the other hand, has started asking me all these questions about how they mutated all those animals and tributes along with how they made the gadgets and gizmos they had.)

(He was very disappointed when I gave him a blank look and said "I don't know.")

(But yesterday…I saw a strange looking wasp flying out of his quarters…)

(Do you think…?…Nah!)

**215. Do Not PO Wheeljack.**

(He's very hard to rile up.)

(Mostly because he's about as crazy as I am and has seen pretty much everything.)

(Also, when you're a mad scientist, you've got to have a little patience.)

(Considering how many of Wheeljack's experiments blow up upon testing, I figure Wheeljack has a huge patience.)

(I was right, but that just made my challenge even more exciting.)

(You see, I was challenged by two certain Lambos that I couldn't get Wheeljack PO'd.)

(Challenge Accepted.)

(At first, I will admit that it was really hard to make the inventor mad, but after the combined efforts of coffee and a slag load of sugar, I finally pulled it off.)

(I angered the mad scientist.)

(I'm kind of regretting accepting the challenge about now.)

(Wheeljack does not shout and yell when angered like most 'Bots…he waits…and plans a revenge prank.)

(And Wheeljack's pretty crafty and creative when it comes to revenge pranks.)

(I won't go into the details, but what I will tell you was that the prank involved a pair of ball bearings, several scary masks, a microphone, and one tiny spy camera that currently has some pretty devious blackmail material against me on it.)

(I'm at Wheeljack's beck and call for a month...and he's totally loving it.)

(I'm surprised he hasn't had me clean the bottoms of his pedes with a toothbrush yet…MY toothbrush.)

**216. The Avengers movie has been qouted to death.**

-'There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could fight the battles that we never could...'

(Some of the new recruits to N.E.S.T just didn't get why the Autobots were here.)

(They thought that they were totally putting the Earth in danger just by being here.)

(Instead of flying off the handle at the skeptical guy like I thought that Sam would, he just stood there for a bit.)

(Then, after his little moment of silence, he looked at the new guy and said that quote.)

(I clapped a bit at the response. Burn.)

-'How desperate are you that you would call upon such lost creatures to defend you?'

(The Autobots had gotten themselves in quite a pickle.)

(Not with the Decepticons or the government…but with average Joe citizens.)

(You know how many times that the Autobots have been sued for property damage?)

(And only one guy was crazy enough to help the 'Bots out with theses legal matters.)

(As soon as Ratchet laid optics on the name of their helper, he said something along this quotes' lines.)

(Only with more colorful words and such.)

(The 'helper' was Seymour Simmons himself.)

(Who knew that he was trained to be a layer as well as Sector Seven Agent?)

-'You people are so petty... and tiny.'

(Sideswipe is a little tired of all the arguing that we humans do.)

(Simmons and Mearing, Sam and Mikaela, Leo and I, etc.)

(The poor mech just wants to sit there and polish his arm blades up in peace.)

(Someone always comes along to ruin the quiet though.)

(After a few days, he had finally had enough.)

(Galloway and Mearing had been arguing really close to the silver mech when he had finally lost his patience.)

(You can bet Galloway and Mearing shut up when Sideswipe's arm blade came out of nowhere and nearly severed Galloway's foot in two.)

(Needless to say, we all tread lightly around Sideswipe now.)

**217. Leekspin is banned.**

(What…The…Frag.)

(Leo. What do you honestly do in your spare time?)

(Sit at the computer and just Google random stuff like this?)

(This 'leekspin' or whatever…I can't even understand it.)

(Poor Lennox…after Leo played the video for two hours while trying to explain to me what the video was about, Lennox started to get a little tired of it.)

(His eye literally twitches whenever the song is played around him, and the veins in his forehead bulge.)

(It'd be a little bit funny if it already wasn't so fraggin' scary…)

(Ratchet carted Lennox off to the Med Bay and gave him a physical and a ton of medical scans.)

(It didn't really solve the problem. Lennox is still messed up.)

(Now he twitches and jumps whenever the song is played around him.)

(Ironhide's grown very protective of his frazzled friend and appears almost out of nowhere if he hears the song being played.)

(He whips out his cannons faster than we run when checkup times are announced and immediately obliterates the source of the music.)

(I've lost many a music player that way.)

(Even the 'Bots are learning never to play that song again.)

(Blaster just about had his spark extinguished by Ironhide after the Lambo Twins dared him to play it around Lennox.)

(Only some quick footing and a sharp order form Optimus saved his aft.)

(Now, Will's recovering, but is still kind of freaky, and Ironhide's nowhere to be found…hopefully he's not out trying to find who made the song in the first place and exterminate them…)

* * *

><p>I promised myself I wouldn't do this…at the top of the page. But here we are at the bottom! X) I have to fan ramble about this for a little bit. Is anyone else loving the fact that Mad Doctor Knock Out is now in pretty much every episode and is much, <em>much<em> darker now that he's had his little revenge? I get happy chills every time. Primus! Knock Out! You're a beast! Alright. That's enough out of me. Back to work! Away! *dashes off*


	48. Chapter 48

Augh. Another Monday post. I really don't mean for these to keep happening. Friday-Sunday is when I actually mean to post. Better late than never, eh? ^^; So sorry. I hope you enjoy. Before I leave you to your daily dose of Autobot hilarity, I just want to thank you all again for all of the wonderful reviews that you have left. I feel happier than Sideswipe after a new paint job right about now. X) Over 700 reviews! You're epic! But you all already knew this. :)

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #218 with Twilight causing mass mayhem…and birthing videos.

Noella50881 gets all the Credit for Rule #219 with one humans trash NOT being another 'Bots treasure.

supergirlprime gets all the Credit for Rule #220 with mirrors causing distress when paired with ghost stories.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #221 with hopped up hobos making some 'Bots to glitch.

Autobot-Blurr 221 gets all the Credit for Rule #222 with fake blood pranks being a really, _really_ bad idea…

**Chinagal1: **XD Thanks! XD And here's another update! I hope you enjoy it as much as the last ones! :D Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. :)

**nightwing: **Hey! :D You're welcome for responding! It's the least I can do! Thank you for reviewing! The Rule you gave...Oh I can see the mayhem already! XD Signs must go on both Ratchet and Ironhide. Definitely Ironhide. The range of emotions that will pass over his faceplates when he sees random humans hugging him is a priceless mental image in my mind! XD I think Optimus needs a sign as well...XD I see much win coming from this Rule. XD Thanks for the new Rule, for reading, and for reviewing! :D

**Optimus' girl: **Loved your new Ideas. X) Especially the one about Nemesis being Optimus' dad in another realm/universe. The poor Prime will glitch! X) Or at least the rest of the Autobots will! Someone's going to end up in the Med Bay for sure. X) Don't cut yourself short! A lot of them were from you! You've been with this Fic since the beginning haven't you. Thanks for sticking around. :) And thanks again. For reading, reviewing, and the new Rules. :)

**Hawky: **Oh I know Stax lids. XD My brothers and I used to have wars with those things too. How can you not? XD Ironhide might fund these to be regular human annoyances...until he gets a Stax lid in the optic! XD Thus resulting in all Stax lids being squished into putty 'accidentally' by one mechs pede. Whoops. Definitely using this Rule! Thanks for that! And for reading and reviewing! :D

**Naughtia: **Yeah! XD I must look up this video. The name alone sounds adorable! X) And yeah. Wheeljack sleepwalking is never a good thing! *shivers* Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D

**LesleyM: **:D *no joke, squeals at your review* Thank you! :D "As Ratchet is obsessed to medicine" That's _really _obsessed! XD As for your new Rule Idea...I have heard of, but never have seen, Doctor Who. I kind of regret it now because loads of people have been telling me epic it is. Hmm. This is why YouTube is alive and kicking. I'll definitely make your Idea into a Rule. :) Thanks for that. :) I'll be sure to keep writing! Keep laughing! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D :D

**Guest: **_HAPPY TREE FRIENDS... _Oh Primus...Why does that sound like it's going to make several 'Bots glitch simultaneously? I need to YouTube this. Right now. Especially this Sergeant Flippy person. As soon as my 'research' is done, I'll be sure to make this a Rule. Thanks for the new Rule! And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: Whee! I finally got one! Finally!

Ratchet: Dare I ask what exactly it is that you have?

Me: I shall gladly tell you, O Grumpy Medic. *shuffles around in plastic bag* I wrapped him up to keep him nice and protected. You're gonna love him. Especially you, Optimus.

Optimus: Hmm…We shall see.

Me: *finally pulls item out of bag* There! TA-DA! It's an action figure! Isn't he just adorable? *cuddles figure*

Ratchet and Optimus: *gasp theatrically* That's….That's-!

Me: Megatron. Yeah. It's an action figure of Megatron. Not the real thing. Calm down guys. Guys?

Ratchet: *grabs me and yanks figure out of hands and throws it to the ground* I got the girl! You get Megatron!

Optimus: *battle mask slides on* This ends now Megatron. *fires at action figure and totally obliterates it*

Me: ! GUYS! What Junk Code do you have stuck in your processors!? That took me a lot of cash to buy! Augh! I actually owned that!

Ratchet: *refuses to let me down* Not anymore. You do not own any Transformers. You would do best to remember that. Now thank Optimus for saving your fleshy hide.

Me: *grumbles*

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><p><strong>218. No Twilight. EVER.<strong>

(Seeing as how the whole Hunger Games thing didn't really go so well, I decided to show the 'Bots the new Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn, as a way to help them forget all about it.)

(Ahhh...I really shouldn't have.)

(Sideswipe and Sunstreaker started arguing about who Bella should have hooked up with.)

(Sideswipe thought that Bella seriously should have hooked up with that Jacob guy, while Sunstreaker started shouting that Bella would be best with Edward.)

(Bumblebee kept asking why Bella kept getting so fat…He never got an answer.)

(No one wanted to scare the poor little guy.)

(When Bella started to actually have the baby, Ironhide looked about ready to purge.)

(Ratchet ranted during that part of the movie about how the birth scene was impossible and how Edward couldn't have dug into Bella's stomach with his teeth and hands without killing her straight away.)

(I asked him if he had ever helped deliver a vampire/human baby.)

(Ratchet didn't answer, but immediately changed the subject and started ranting about a non-living creature mating with a living one and how totally absurd that was.)

(Optimus...I really don't know. He just sort of had this blank expression on his faceplates throughout the entire movie...Though I think he freaked out a bit at the end when Bella opened her eyes and they were all red.)

(All in all…Definitely worse than the Hunger Games event.)

(Bumblebee can't look at a vampire picture the same again, Optimus has been oddly quiet…rather more quiet than usual, and Ironhide can't look at a pregnant woman anymore without thinking of Twilight and purging.)

(Ratchet's been looking up the whole procedure of human birth since the movie and he's not nearly as disgusted by the videos as Sam and I are.)

(We's been looking for some confiscated candies, sneaking into his office like ninjas, and saw what Ratchet was watching.)

(We shot right back out, pale as ghosts and about ready to scream.)

(I'm never having children…)

**219. Yard Sales are not for Autobots.**

(I think they're really cool!)

(One man's trash is another man's treasure and all that.)

(But the 'Bots don't understand my enthusiasm for yard sales.)

(In their opinion, if one person deems something worth selling or getting rid of, then why would someone else buy it? The item must be junk or trash.)

(Not true!)

(You can find some pretty epic things at yard sales!)

(In an effort to get my Cybertronian friends to see yard sales in a better light, I convinced a couple of them to come along with me to a few.)

(Sunstreaker was one of the mechs that I had convinced to come along.)

(I told him that he could find some pretty sweet car parts at some sales.)

(What I didn't tell him was that most, if not all, of the parts were from rusty, secondhand cars.)

(No way was the yellow Lambo putting something rusty and old on his chassis!)

(So now he's off to the side, sulking in the parking lot, as Wheeljack and I shift through boxes of unwanted treasures.)

(If only Sunstreaker was excited about yard sales as Wheeljack is…just not for the same reasons.)

**220. Ornate mirrors do not hold souls.**

(I found a really epic mirror at one yard sale and immediately bought it on the spot.)

(The thing was huge, at least 12 feet tall, and very detailed.)

(I just had to bring it home and show the 'Bots…but this wasn't going to be just a simple showing.)

(I wanted to have a little fun with the mirror while I was at it.)

(Gathering all the 'Bots together as soon as I arrived at the base, I told them to sit down for a little story.)

(I then flicked off the lights in the Rec Room and started telling a ghost story in the spookiest voice I could.)

(In my story, enemy souls from a person's past life were trapped in fancy mirrors like the one I had. If a person looked in said mirror while alone in the dark, it has been said that they could see the souls of their past enemies reflected in the mirror, just waiting to lunge out and attack them.)

(Or posses them…maybe even drag their own souls into the mirror and down into the Pit.)

(I was kind of making this all up as I went along.)

(Judging by the tiny gasps that my audience gave out and the sounds of trembling metal, I could tell that I had them hooked.)

(Near the end of my story, I challenged the 'Bots to stare into the mirror and see if they could see any souls…or rather…sparks inside of it.)

(No one volunteered…except Ironhide, who looked totally unimpressed with my story telling skills.)

(He got up with a snort and crouched in front of the mirror, peering intently into it.)

(A couple minutes went by with nothing happening until Ironhide suddenly let out a gasp.)

(He fell back on his aft and scooted as fast as he could away from the mirror, causing the rest of the 'Bots scatter.)

(After all the 'Bots had cleared out because of fear, I just stood there next to the mirror for a few seconds…totally shocked…Had Ironhide really seen something inside of the mirror?)

(I was too afraid to find out. The mirror found its way to the dump the next day.)

**221. Cannibalism is not a threat.**

(I saw this really creepy story on the news the other day.)

(It was about some homeless guy who was high on bath salts.)

(Apparently the homeless guy went on a rampage and attacked a man…and ate his face off!)

(The public was in a frenzy, screaming about how the zombie apocalypse was starting and all that.)

(The news of the…rather grisly act just recently reached the base and some 'Bots were kind of freaked out.)

(Actually…just one 'Bot in particular.)

(Red Alert.)

(The poor thing's so paranoid that he believes practically anything you tell him, no matter who is the person/mech doing the telling is.)

(So when I exclaimed to Red about what zombies were and then showed him the news footage…he kind of freaked out.)

(Perfect time to put a prank into action.)

(I had dug up my old zombie makeup and costume and shuffled up to Red Alert with it on, moaning and really hamming it up.)

(The mech practically screamed bloody murder and tried scrambling up a wall in an effort to get away from me.)

(Red Alert now thinks that zombies have successfully taken over the planet and has put the whole base on lockdown to protect us from being infected.)

(At least, that's what Bumblebee told Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and I down in the brig…Optimus sent us here as soon as he found out that we were the ones who started this mess.)

**222. Covering yourself in fake blood is never a good idea. **

(Ahh Ratchet. What would you do without us?)

(Your life would be terribly boring, dull, and you would definitely miss us.)

(Or…You would be even more productive than you already are and would probably get slag ton of work done.)

(Maybe even solve the Energon crisis that we're going through.)

(But for now, we all have to make sure you're as bothered as possible.)

(That includes making you have a near spark attack by covering ourselves in fake blood and crawling into your Med Bay at the buttcrack of dawn.)

(I have to say, the look on your faceplates when you saw Leo, Sam, and I all coated in fake blood and moaning was one that I will never forget.)

(After you grabbed us and rushed us all off the Emergency Care part of the Med Bay…we couldn't help but laugh.)

(You just freaked out even more, which in turn just made us laugh even harder.)

(You sure weren't laughing when we exclaimed the prank or when we wiped off the fake blood to show unblemished skin underneath with no wounds at all.)

(In fact, your face had such a stormy look on it that Leo, Sam, and I kind of feared for our lives…)

(Mikaela, if you're reading this…then we obviously haven't returned from our little visit with Ratchet…please…come and rescue us before Ratchet turns us into medical cadavers.)

(I'm too pretty to die.)

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><p>Another Chapter done! :D Hope you laughed at least once. Leave a review telling me what you think if you have the time! :D Thanks for reading!<p> 


	49. Chapter 49

So many feels…So…many…FEELS! That season finale! Oh Primus…Okay. Not gonna start. *large exhale* Here's some new Rules. :)

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #223 with Heatwave needing to cool down.

Top Kicker gets all the Credit for Rule #226 with the Chevy Twins picking up on some rather coarse human jokes.

tjcassielover gets all the Credit for Rule #225 with WHAT? I CAN'T REALLY HEAR YOU! SAY IT AGAIN, BUT LOUDER!

Tialakit gets all the Credit for Rule #224 with live animals really causing a ruckus in one mech's cab.

**Optimus' girl:** X) Yeah. Pretty excited! XD And thanks for that. :) The Twins would have to be sneaky to pull that prank off! And ready to be offlined! Oh Primus…Megatron would flip! And I don't blame you for wanting Screamer off your back! He can be quite heavy and his voice is kinda screechy…Joking, sorry. But yeah! Pranking Megatron I can do! XD Oh Primus…Red Alert and 'The Last Unicorn'? XD So much awesome there! XD That song is the most annoying song in the history of universe! It can get on anyone, and I mean anyone's nerves! *shivers* Perfect for getting on the Autobot's nerves, I agree. I don't blame Optimus for snapping. I loved all of your new Rule suggestions. :D Thanks for sending them in! And thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad you're liking the Fic!

**Chinagal1:** There really is an age limit on here? I didn't know that…Huh. Well sorry about that. :(You're telling me because you gotta vent and rant a little bit! X) I don't blame ya! And I'd love to post some stories for you, but I can barely keep up with my own. Life is determined to keep me as far away from the Internet and computers as it can. T T Sorry about that. Thanks for reading and reviewing though. :)

**Hawky:** I can see someone using that line about the air-soft guns against Optimus because someone 'accidentally' shot Galloway in the aft from at least twenty feet away. XD And they are pretty epic! Can't deny that! Anyway, love the new Rule and line. XD Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**nightwing:** Glad you're back! :D And you brought a Rule! Yay! And you're welcome for responding! Yeah…Those things are kinda weird…Their commercials with the robotic voices and stuff…Very Decepticon-like…*shifty eyes* Why haven't I noticed this before. Thanks for bringing this to my attention! And bouncy houses! Annabelle would love them…but I can see Ironhide totally freaking out. I can see the new bouncy house getting a mysterious hole in one side later on…Mother Hen strikes again! XD Glad you're back and thanks for reading and reviewing! And for the new Rules! :D

**Naughtia:** I didn't even realize that it was a horror Chapter until you all pointed it out to me! XD I guess I was getting into the Halloween spirit and I didn't even know it! XD I hope they were good shivers and not bad shivers! Sorry if they were! Thanks for reading and reviewing though. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *sighs* Halloween's over I guess. Now the only holiday I have to look forward to this month is Thanksgiving.

Ratchet: What is this 'Thanksgiving' you speak of? Is it another gift giving holiday? I don't think I can take another one of your so cleverly planned...'gifts'.

Me: That dental drill was the perfect thing to get you and you know it! It took me a lot of cash to get that drill. I don't know what you're going to use it for...but at least you can say you have one!

Ratchet: *rolls optics*

Me: Anyway, no, Thanksgiving is not a gift giving holiday. It is a holiday where everyone wears sweatpants and watch football. After stuffing ourselves to the point of explosion with food that is. Mmmm...Turkey...I'm getting a little hungry just thinking about it.

Ratchet: ...Let me get this straight. There is an entire holiday made just for you humans to fatten yourselves up with food?

Me: Pretty much. Hence the sweatpants. Bulging waistlines and all that.

Ratchet: ...*gets twitchy glitch in corner of optic* I think I need to go sit down...

Me: *pats Ratchet's foot comfortingly* You go do that Ratchet. Be comforted by the fact that I do not own you...or else I would have made a HUGE feast for all of you...A very _fattening_ feast. A very _unhealthy_, _greasy_- *huge crash* Whoopsie!...Ratchet glitched...

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><p><strong>223. Heatwave does not need to relax.<strong>

(Who knew a little town like Griffin Rock could get into so much trouble?)

(Poor Heatwave is totally worn out.)

(According to the 'Bot himself he's fit as a fiddle. Not tired at all.)

(The way he keeps slipping into recharge really helps prove his point.)

(So, in order to get the stubborn mech to take a day off, we kinda…put him into manual stasis lock.)

(Cody and I really don't want to know how Chase knew how to do that.)

(All we did know was that Heatwave was 'asleep' and it was now time to relax)

(Karma decided that that was not going to happen.)

(Not five seconds after we put Heatwave into stasis lock, alarms started going off everywhere.)

(Apparently a huge forest fire had blazed up somewhere.)

(The Rescue Bots needed to move, and fast, but there was one problem…they didn't have their leader!)

(Kade, Cody, and the Chief were in near hysterics. Their main firefighter, Heatwave, was out of commission, still totally 'asleep'.)

(Chase didn't know how to pull a 'Bot out of a manual stasis lock...only how to put one in.)

(It had taken several frantic seconds of screaming and yelling from Blades and humans alike and one hurried call to Ratchet, Optimus' medic, before Heatwave was 'revived'.)

(He was grumpy at first, but when he saw the news feed of the now humongous forest fire that was threatening the town, he sprang into action.)

(Heatwave won't say it, but the only reason he's totally relaxed, calm, and alert now is because of that little 'nap' that we gave him.)

**224. If transporting live cargo, make sure it's in a secure container.**

(You know what I learned today? Never offer to take up an assignment in Biology for extra credit.)

(Especially if it's two measly points and the teacher has a really sly grin on their face when they offer the credits up.)

(You'll most likely be stuck with a really horrendous job.)

(Like transporting at least a hundred live mice from the nearest pet store to school for the teacher's pet snake.)

(The cage that they all came in was pretty big...and I walk to school everyday.)

(Time to call up the Autobots for a favor.)

(When I told them that I needed a ride, every single 'Bot on hand just so happened to be busy…except for Ironhide.)

(He looked really PO'd that he'd have to stop torturing-I mean training-new N.E.S.T recruits for a few seconds to come and help me out, but he still agreed to give me a ride.)

(And the ride was going along great! Perfectly fine...until Ironhide went out of his way to hit that speed bump…at at least seventy miles per hour.)

(I let out a little yelp as I bounced up out of Ironhide's passenger seat, the cage bouncing up with me and hitting the roof of Ironhide's cab.)

(And flying open.)

(Live mice went _everywhere_.)

(Ironhide immediately skidded to a halt and yelled.)

(I had just barely tumbled out of his cab before Ironhide transformed in the middle of the street and started dancing around, nearly stepping on me in the process.)

(I got some pretty good videos of Ironhide dancing...but sooner or later I guess I better help him get all those mice out of his chassis...Hopefully they aren't all squished up in there...)

(Ew.)

**225. You are not louder than Blaster.**

(Big mistake. BIG MISTAKE!)

(Never, and I mean _never _say that you are louder than Blaster.)

(Jazz made that tiny mistake when he was upgrading his little light/music show attack thing.)

(Mother of Primus...you should have seen Blaster's faceplates!)

(He called out a music showdown right then and there.)

(By then, Sideswipe, who had been watching on the sidelines, had commed everyone about what was going on and invited them to see the showdown.)

(There was a bigger turnout than you might think.)

(All the showdown was was Jazz and Blaster standing in the middle of the Rec Room, periodically cranking their music up to try and down the other 'Bot out.)

(I expected this contest to get pretty loud so I brought earplugs and earmuffs to try and block out the noise, but it was still loud!)

(As the music got louder and louder, I felt bad for the people who didn't think about bringing ear protection.)

(They had to leave...some even went to Ratchet with bleeding eardrums!)

(Finally, the contest ended with Jazz glitching out from all the juice he was putting into his sound systems...leaving Blaster the noise champion.)

(And the rest of us with ringing ears.)

(I still can't hear anything and it's been three weeks since the contest!)

**226. Stop with the 'Yo Momma' jokes. Please.**

(Jiminy Christmas...How immature can the Chevy Twins _get_?!)

(This time its 'Yo Momma' jokes.)

(I find half of them rude and offensive to my poor mother, but one thing that High School has taught me is to be very patient with blockheads that are stronger and less intelligent than you.)

(Not that I'm intelligent...but I like to think that I'm at least a _tiny _bit more intelligent that the Chevy Twins...all that sound whacking from Ratchet must have knocked something loose in their helms.)

(So ignoring the Twins was easy for Sam, Mikaela, and I...Leo on the other hand...was immediately offended and started spitting out 'Yo Momma' jokes of his own.)

(Considering how different human mothers were from Cybertronain 'mothers', if that's what they're even called, I don't get why Skidds and Mudflap became so offended.)

(They started shouting at Leo and were making a real scene.)

(It was all Lennox could do to make the crowd that had gathered around them stop taking bets on who was the better maker-upper-of-jokes and get back to work.)

(He then waited until he had both Leo and the Chevy Twins' attention before letting loose the mother of all 'Yo Momma' jokes.)

(The burn was so bad that I'm pretty sure my eyebrows are singed off! And I was halfway across the room!)

(I didn't think Lennox capable of such things.)

(Leo, Skidds, and Mudflap were flabbergasted…and didn't cause any trouble for the rest of the day.)

(In fact, I think they're still standing there in the Rec Room…In total shock…)

(Lennox has the biggest smirk on his face.)

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><p>And...another Chapter done! :D What'd y'all think? Good? Bad? Terrible? Please let me know by dropping me a review if you have the time! I promise I'll get back to you on it! ...Eventually...T T P.S. Happy (late) Halloween! X)<p> 


	50. Chapter 50

Enough talking! More reading! And sorry anons and Guests! I'll have to catch you next Chapter on the replys! I wanted to get this Chapter out as fast as possible! Sorry!

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #227 with Ironhide getting into a little hissy fit over some water.

supergirlprime gets all the Credit for Rules #228 and 232 with one educational children's show causing some chaos along with some blonde gods.

Trapezoidal gets all the Credit for Rule #229 with dream causing one 'Bot to really question the sanity of all humans.

Kavzi gets all the Credit for Rule #230 with human cells not really being exciting at all.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #231 with one little green alien and friend really not being a good idea to quote.

Dislaimer:

Ratchet: *storms in to see me sprawled out on the floor* What in the Pit are you doing?! You have work you should be getting done! Just look at this list of things that you need to finish! You haven't even started on some of them! Wait till I tell-!

Me: *groans* Ratchet! Shut up!

Ratchet: Shut up? Who are you to tell me to shut up!? That's it! I've had it up to here with your actions! I'm getting Optimus! Maybe he can straighten you out! *starts to storm out*

Me: Oh no you don't.

Ratchet: Are you going to stop me? I'd like to see you try.

Me: *smirks and nods* Thanksgiving.

Ratchet: *skids to a stop, pauses, then glitches*

Me: Unhealthy holidays. Get 'em every time. Now sleep. I don't own the Transformers. Not very good pillows…

**227. No Aquariums.**

(Educational Field Trip Time!)

(The original trip was to the zoo, but it didn't end well...)

(Apparently Ironhide doesn't like monkey poop thrown at him.)

(Taking that into account along with the fact that A: Ironhide couldn't break through aquarium glass or he'd be in serious trouble, and B: Annabelle wouldn't have to be taken away when the animals, a.k.a. rhinos, start playing a nice game of 'leap frog' I figured that the aquarium would be a safer trip.)

(As for the rhino thing…let's just say that it got extremely awkward at the zoo...)

(Gathering Leo, Sam, Bumblebee and Ironhide's holoforms, and the rest of the gang together, we all headed out to the aquarium.)

(Ironhide had a bit of a frightening interest in the sharks and piranhas, Bumblebee was totally into the dolphins, Optimus was looking at the orcas, and Ratchet just seemed annoyed with it all.)

(Sam, Leo, and I were poking at the jellyfish.)

(We were all having a great time, except for Ratchet, and I thought this was going to be one of those moments where we could all say at the end of the day that it was an amazing trip.

(You know... real milestones, team bonding and all that.)

(Of course, the Universe just has to crush my dreams.)

(We were at the dolphin show that Bumblebee had insisted we go to when it happened.)

(Ironhide just had to do something stupid crazy.)

(The dolphins had simply been doing tricks when one of them splashed water all over Ironhide's holoform.)

(He was completely drenched, and the dolphin made these clicks and noises that really resembled laughter. I would have been surprised if it wasn't laughing, 'cause it was pretty funny to watch 'Hide.)

(His face turned red with anger and, knowing the mammal had been laughing at him, went up to the tank, pushed the trainers off the ladder on the edge, and dived in.)

(He wrestled. Underwater. With a dolphin.)

(And I caught it all on tape.)

(Security came and managed to get Ironhide out after about thirty minutes of him trying to kill the poor creature.)

(We were all thrown out, having officially been banned from the aquarium.)

(Well Whoopti-doo.)

**228. The Magic School Bus is not a Cybertronian. **

(Even though the 'Bots have been on Earth for quite some time, they still don't know that much about Earth and how it works.)

(They only bothered to download really important information like the English language and how to avoid accidentally stepping on humans.)

(They didn't bother with stuff like gravity or how to turn a cucumber into a pickle.)

(Wheeljack is the only one who actually went and downloaded all that information, but he's not a really good teacher so I had to find another way to educate the 'Bots.)

(Educational Magic School Bus videos FTW!)

(There's something for everyone in those videos! And little Annabelle can watch them with her mother hen of a guardian.)

(But before I could even get the movie started…the 'Bots were already flipping out. They had seen the Bus.)

(They thought he was a Cybertronian and wouldn't even pay attention to anything that the teacher or students were saying until I convinced them otherwise.)

(The fact that the Bus can transform into different things like planes and blimps really doesn't help my case…)

**229. Keep your dreams to yourself.**

(No really. The 'Bots have no interest in what your recent dream was seeing as they can't have them themselves.)

(If you keep rambling on about them…some 'Bots might try to have you committed.)

(Prowl is one of those mechs.)

(Mikaela and I were just eating lunch, talking about random things and all that, when the conversation we were having turned towards our recent dreams.)

(My recent dream was all about vegetables coming to life and ganging up with zombie squirrels to take over supermarkets all over the world.)

(The sentient veggies wanted to rescue their brethren while the zombie squirrels just wanted the nut aisle.)

(The only problem was that every time a zombie squirrel ate a nut, the nut just fell out of a huge hole in the zombie's stomach.)

(I really have to lay off the Mountain Dew before bed.)

(Mikaela was impressed and totally wigged out by my freaky dream and just sat there, listening when Prowl decided to walk in.)

(He hadn't heard my whole explanation of my dream, just the end bits, but it was enough to make him glitch a bit and drag me off to see Ratchet.)

(Apparently to Prowl, this is just another bullet on his 'Why-Humans-Are-Disturbing' list.)

(Now I'm stuck here in the Med Bay with Ratchet while he gives my brain a couple thousand medical scans.)

**230. Human cells do not resemble Osmosis Jones. **

(Nor do the diseases and viruses resemble Thrax.)

(I had to bring out another Magic School Bus video to teach the 'Bots about human blood cells, white blood cells, and the whole sha-bang.)

(Ratchet was pleased, but the other 'Bots just looked disappointed.)

(I think some of them really wanted to try out the new shrinking ray that Wheeljack is now inventing.)

(Did I mention that Wheeljack is only inventing this shrinking ray because of the movie?)

(He plans on traveling inside of a human being with some other 'Bots at a microscopic level to defeat villains like Thrax.)

(I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not letting any 'Bot near me with a shrink ray. They can scout out someone else to be their guinea pig!)

(Knowing them, they would totally screw something up inside my body, or Primus forbid, the effects of the shrink ray could wear off while they were still inside of me!)

(Wouldn't _that_ be a mess?)

**231. Invader Zim is not a positive role model. **

(I disagree wholeheartedly.)

(Gir and Zim are the best role models.)

"I'm gonna sing the Doom song now."

(Note To Self: When bored…never sing this song.)

(We were all in another 'important' meeting with Morshower was up front, talking about who knows what, while Sam and I sat in the back, bored out of our skulls.)

(So what do we do to amuse ourselves? We sing the Doom song.)

(Quietly at first, then louder and louder until we were practically screaming it.)

(Everyone else in the meeting was just staring and/or glaring at us at this point.)

"I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me."

(Galloway really doesn't like it when you mock him.)

(But this isn't mocking…I'm merely telling the truth.)

(But I guess dressing up like Galloway, briefcase and all, and saying this quote in a nerdy voice is considered mocking…)

(It was still funny as the Pit.)

"Awww... I wanted to explode."

(Yet another demonstration of one of Wheeljack's new inventions.)

(Expecting this experiment to end up like all the others, I had brought my video camera and a pair of sunglasses.)

(Only…This experiment actually worked.)

(Man! I was really looking forward to another epic explosion!)

(No offense to Wheeljack or anything…)

**232. If you want another drink, just ask.**

(Well…I'm mostly to blame for this one…)

(Way back when the Avengers movie was just coming out on DVD, I was trying to get the 'Bots as excited about it as I was.)

(This included showing them all the Marvel movies that led up to the Avengers movie and spewing fun facts about all of them.)

(That includes Thor.)

(Since there were a lot of monsters and fighting in this one, it goes to show that this one was one of the 'Bots favorite Avengers movies.)

(They liked how tough Thor was and how he didn't take crap from anybody.)

(Soon enough, they started comparing Thor to Optimus and Loki to Megatron.)

(Megatron did already have the cape thing going on, but I personally couldn't see him with horns on his helm.)

(Some 'Bots even started acting like the characters in Thor.)

(Take Ironhide for example.)

(Yesterday, during his Energon break, he had finished his first cube pretty quickly.)

(Instead of just getting up and grabbing another Cube, Ironhide picked up his empty one and threw it down on the ground, shouting…)

"This Energon…I like it…ANOTHER!"

(Ratchet was not amused.)

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><p>Yeah…Another Chapter of your Rules. :) Hope they were okay. Please let me know what you think in a review if you have the time. :) I hope you all have an epic and delicious Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble… XD<p> 


	51. Chapter 51

Finals...*dies* That's my only excuse. Oh! If you want to fully undersatnd Rule 234, then I suggest you Google Image Search "Why Being A Girl Isn't Working Out For Me". There's some cussing, watch out for that, but I nearly died laughing by reading it. X) Enjoy.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #235 with one little song causing a mass glitch out.

Midnight Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #236 with Wheeljack dabbling in some human genetic mutations.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #237 with Robin Hood and Spies teaming up for as an unstoppable candy stealing team.

Disclaimer:

Me: *crawls into room* Augh…

Ratchet: What are you - Holy Primus! *runs over and picks me up* Are you hurt? Where's your injury? Is it internal? Did you fall? What happened!?

Me: *mumbles* Thghes fiaghls…Thgnes avnewhey….

Ratchet: What! Speak clearer! Tell me what's wrong!

Me: Finales…There's finales everywhere…They're sucking out my soul…Help…*wheezes*

Ratchet: ...*drops me unceremoniously*

Me: Hey! What the Pit!

Ratchet: Be grateful. If you actually owned us, I would have dropped you from someplace higher. *sighs and walks off* I can't take this anymore. These humans are going to be the end of me. Worse than Sunstreaker and Sideswipe combined!

* * *

><p><strong>233. The Autobots will believe what they want to believe.<strong>

(Annabelle and I had just returned from a little movie trip while her parents went out to dinner.)

(We had seen the movie 'Rise of the Guardians' and Annabelle was ecstatic.)

(She kept saying that she knew her favorite folklore characters like Santa and the Tooth Fairy were real.)

(As Annabelle was happily recounting the movie to her parents and Ironhide, guess who had to come in and pop her bubble.)

(Galloway.)

"Really Lennox? You still allow your child to believe in such complete and utter nonsense like the Tooth Fairy? How pathetic."

(Annabelle started crying and Lennox looked about ready to bust a vein in his temple.)

(I had to hold myself back from actually walking over there and kicking Galloway in the shin.)

(That fraggin' kicked puppy face that Annabelle had was really killing the rest of the base, so I decided to do something about it.)

(Something like proving Galloway wrong about The Guardians not existing.)

(I gathered a couple willing people together and started planning how this was going to go down.)

(I was designated to be Tooth and I had a wetsuit to glue feathers on and everything.)

(Sam was Jack Frost since he already had a pair of raggedy pants and a blue sweatshirt. All we had to do was throw some silver paint on it and spray Sam's hair white.)

(Leo donned a glittery golden robe that I had found at a garage sale and allowed me to spray him down with glitter sand and spike his hair in order to complete the look of Sandy.)

(Ironhide's holoform had to grow a beard and gain a Russian accent, along with donning a nice red robe and a pair of swords, to play the part of North.)

(Lennox himself got to play Bunnymund, and let me tell you, it was hilarious seeing him slip into a rather dorky bunny suit and try and speak with an Australian accent.)

(With out costumes on and accents ready, all we had to do was wait for Annabelle to get drowsy and sneak into her room.)

(We were about to make a little girls entire life...Let's just hope that she doesn't look at 'Bunymund' too closely...)

**234. Information about a human female's menstrual cycle is not important.**

(In my defense, the 'Bots started it by asking about it in the first place.)

(They wanted to know why human females went through so many behavioral changes and why Ratchet kept sensing crazy hormone levels with his medical scanners.)

(Not to mention all the blood that all the females were leaking. They wanted to know why no one was panicking.)

(The 'Bots had originally asked Lennox these questions, but the sheepish solider thought it best to redirect them over to Mikaela and I for an actual answer.)

(I wasn't nervous about answering their questions at all...in fact; I was kind of looking forward to having some fun of 'em.)

(So I pulled up a little picture called "Why Being A Girl Isn't Working Out For Me" and decided to put on a little 'play' for the 'Bots.)

(Mikaela was more than willing and even gathered up a few more willing females in order to help us better explain.)

(I divvied out the parts and lines and gathered the 'Bots all in the Rec Room for our performance.)

(I was the Ovaries and the Torso while Mikaela was the actual female.)

(The play went swimmingly.)

Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!

Me(Mikaela): Please, god, no-

Ovaries(Me): ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOO!

Brain: I quit. I quit. Kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. Oh my god salty snacks. I am furious.

(That was pretty much how the whole play went, with the Torso chiming in with "Time to practice labor. Cramp this glitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO!" and the Stomach with "lol Clothes can't fit you anymore. You are bloated. You are a ballooooooon!"

(Needless to say, by the end of the play, the Autobots understood everything.)

(They tread a bit lighter around any females when Ratchet alerts them to any crazy hormone changes.)

**235.** '**Marty's Afro Circus Challenge' is not an actual challenge.**

(It sure as frag should be.)

(In order to take on the challenge, one needs an iPod with the challenge song on it.)

(I've tried the challenge myself and I could only last for a few minutes before I practically tore my hair out of my head.)

(Leo can last a lot longer than I can, but that's because he's already pretty crazy...)

(Ratchet, having heard about this challenge from Sam, wanted to know if it really was as difficult as he made it sound.)

(I told him that we could have a little experiment to find out and asked him if he could sneak me into the intercom room so I could get at the base's intercom system.)

(Ratchet agreed, and the next day, the Mary Afro song was playing throughout the base on a 24/7 loop.)

(Only Ratchet and I had prepared ourselves with earplugs of some kind.)

(At first, everyone seemed to ignore the music, but after a couple minutes...things started falling apart.)

(Mechs were crashing and glitching everywhere and humans were practically tearing their ears off in order to stop the music.)

(I think even Optimus was at his wits end…he was tapping his pede at a furious pace the last time I saw him…He also kept his battle mask on all day.)

(I bet he was really grinding the Pit out of his denta behind that mask.)

(After Ratchet's medical berths and hospital beds all filled up, he decided that it was time to call off the experiment.)

(Good time too. I think I just saw Simmons running towards the intercom room with a sledgehammer.)

**236. Wheeljack is no longer allowed to read comic books.**

(Wheeljack had to find something else to occupy his time besides inventing things and blowing stuff up after his total ban on TV.)

(And after the whole 'Superman' experience, 'Jack turned to comic books and asked Leo if he could borrow some of his comic books from his humongous collection.)

(He's been flying through them pretty fast and has many favorites...but out of all of them, the Avengers are on the top of his list.)

(He's completely hooked and when 'Jack gets hooked on something...the rest of us are in danger.)

(Will, Sam, Mikaela, Epps, and I were coming back from rather successful lunch break (i.e. nothing blew up or was thrown) when 'Jack called us to his Lab.)

(The last thing I remember is the crazy inventor himself smiling down at us and everything went black like some B-Grade suspense/horror movie.)

(I later woke up in 'Jack's Lab with a killer headache and better vision.)

(After a few seconds of looking around with my enhanced eyes, I saw Ratchet and Wheeljack come in.)

(Ratchet was griping, as per usual, but Wheeljack was smiling.)

(Apparently Ratchet's Wheeljack senses had been tingling and the CMO was just here to check the Lab over.)

(Ratchet only had to take on look at me blinking blearily at them with my comrades still unconscious at my sides for him to know that Wheeljack was up to no good.)

(One tiny Medical Scan later and we were immediately being rushed to the Med Bay where Ratchet sedated the lot of us.)

(Not fun...)

(After I regained consciousness,_ again_, I found out just what exactly Wheeljack had done to us.)

(He had turned us into Avengers.)

(I was modeled after Hawkeye, Will after Capitan America, Mikaela after Black Widow, Epps after The Hulk and Sam was modeled after Thor.)

(We never really found out if it had worked, because none of us felt especially super or felt any different. The only difference I could detect in myself was that I could see way better than I could before.)

(Not that we've really had a chance to test our 'superpowers'...We've been trapped in the Med Bay for the past week.)

(Apparently we have so much radiation in our bodies from Wheeljack's tampering that we would have been dead if Ratchet hadn't of intervened.)

(I just want to know why I couldn't have been modeled after Thor.)

**237. Robin Hood and Spies are not allowed.**

(Ratchet was at it again.)

(He was taking away our precious candy again, but this time he was being very serious.)

(He locked all of our confiscated candy up in a big safe in the med Bay where he kept the rest of his…'private stuff'.)

(I seriously just think he keeps his favorite wrenches in there so no one touches them.)

(So Leo, Sam, and I hatched an idea to get our candy back.)

(During the night, we planned on sneaking into the Med Bay, opening the safe, and getting back our beloved candy!)

(Of course, the plant went a totally different way...)

(On the night of the heist, I said we should dress up like Robin Hood and his Merry Men, with I as Robin Hood of course, Sam as Little John, and Leo as Friar Tuck.)

(Sam and Leo disagreed and said they should dress up as spies with gadgets and gizmos, walky-talky's, and cool black clothes.)

(Neither of us could really agree on what we wanted to dress up as. All we were doing was wasting time.)

(So we left it at that and I quickly made up a Robin Hood costume with the green hat and red feather, green skirt thingy, brown boots, green shirt, and a green cloak.)

(I looked so cool!)

(I had stopped in at a hunting store the other day and had bought a bow with some arrows and had hid them in the little crack near Wheeljack's quarters where I put my stuff.)

(I wasn't going in there in this costume without a fake bow and arrow! Plus...I was seriously gonna need it if we were caught by Ratchet.)

(I met up with Sam and Leo in the Rec Room around one o'clock in the morning dressed in my Robin Hood stuff, bow and arrows slung over my back.)

(Sam and Leo looked like actual spies, dressed in all black with little headsets to talk through and some gadgets and stuff on their belts.)

(I asked where they got the stuff. Their only answer was the word 'Wheeljack'.)

(Oh yeah, now we were ready.)

(Bow in hand, walky talky on my belt, I made sure that Ratchet was in recharge before heading into the Med Bay.)

(Who knew he was a snorer?)

(I signaled Leo and Sam and we creeped past the snoozing Ratchet and up to the giant safe.)

(That thing was at least 30ft tall!)

(I knew this sort of problem would arise, so I got out one of my trick arrows, tied a rope to the end, and shot it near the safe's keypad.)

(Sam climbed up and started typing in random words that we thought Ratchet would use as a password.)

(Wrench, Optimus, Sideswipe, Fraggers...Nothing worked!)

(So I climbed up there with Sam and used the only word I could come up with.)

(Obesity.)

(It worked!)

(The next day, all the humans ate their candy happily, not even knowing who put that bucket load of candy in front of their quarter doors in the first place.)

(Until I couldn't take it anymore and screamed, "Take from the rich and give to the poor!" right in the middle of the Rec Room.)

(That set a few things off.)

(Ratchets wrenches, a few alarms, and scrambling people.)

(It's amazing how fast people can disappear when their sugary snacks are threatened.)

* * *

><p>So sorry for not updating in so long! T T I have a Christmas set of Rules all typed up and ready to go. I hope to post them tomorrow. Don't hold me to that though. If I don't...then I'll just say this now! Merry Christmas! :D<p> 


	52. Chapter 52

So it finally snowed where I live and I am officially pretending that it is Christmas today so that I can have a white Christmas...Yes I know that this is a very flimsy excuse for not posting on the 25th, and for that I am sorry. Next update we'll be back to our regularly scheduled chapters of mayhem with anon responses on the top and with reviews actually being responded to. This is my New Year's Resolution! *determined face*

Disclaimer:

Me: So...Ratchet...Do you approve of Santa?

Ratchet: *glares at me and starts to vent heavily*

Sideswipe: Uhh...I wouldn't go there. Fat guy running around, breaking into everyone's houses, and eating sweets all night? Don't get him started!

Me: So is that why Ironhide was guarding the fireplace at Annabelle's house?

Sideswipe: Yeah. He didn't want Santa sneaking up on him. Probably thinks he works for the Decepticons or something. Wouldn't matter if he did. I'd probably still get coal.

Sunstreaker: I didn't get coal this year!

Sideswipe: *mutters under breath* Probably because you held the elves at gunpoint or kidnapped some of them or something.

Me: Whatever. All I know is that I didn't get my Christmas wish. Not one Autobot or Decepticon. Totally disappointing! I still don't own any one of you!

Sunstreaker: *whispers* I made sure of that...Elves are really agreeable when under fire…Reinforcements were called in before I could get them to put you on the nice list bro…Sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>238. Do not let Hound pick the Christmas tree.<strong>

(You won't get one at all.)

(Dang environmentalist.)

(So instead of Hound picking out and chopping down the traditional Christmas tree for the base, we had Jazz do it.)

(You would not believe the tree that Jazz came to base with.)

(I wanna know how he managed to tie the thing up on top of his alt mode.)

(The tree was about as tall as Optimus, no joke.)

(I have no idea where Jazz even managed to find a tree that big!)

(The base is in the middle of the city and in order to find a decent tree, you have to go really far away.)

(Annabelle isn't complaining. She's already enlisted Ironhide as her lift to reach the taller parts of the tree in order to decorate it.)

(Wheeljack said that he's making the star…I sense that some form of radiation will be involved.)

**239. Santa does not need dieting advice.**

(You thought Thanksgiving was bad with Ratchet.)

(You should have seen his faceplates when I told him about Santa!)

(Jolly old fat guy that breaks into people's houses and leaves gifts and eats all of their sugary snacks? He was having a meltdown!)

(He gathered all of these diet pamphlets together and was insisting that I leave them out by the base's Christmas tree so that Santa would see them.)

(He also insisted that I leave celery and protein shakes instead of the traditional cookies and milk.)

(When Annabelle heard that Ratchet was planning on breaking tradition, she gave Ratchet such a talking to.)

(It was really cute to see a six year old talk all stern to Ratchet like that.)

(Annabelle's excuse was that if Santa didn't like the food that we left out for him, then he wouldn't leave any presents for us.)

(I think Lennox agrees with that one.)

**240. Presents are supposed to be inanimate objects.**

(This really only applies to the 'Bots.)

(They have no idea what to give us humans for gifts this year on Christmas.)

(They even had a little meeting in Optimus' 'office' about it.)

(They were taking ideas on what to give us and guess who some of the main idea givers were?)

(Sunny and 'Sides.)

(Some of the gifts under the tree have air holes drilled in them…and are making really sinister hissing noises.)

(There's one that has Leo's name on it from the Lambo Twins that is really freaking me out.)

(I think it's a badger or something the noises it's making!)

(Now that I think about it…the 'Bots have been going around asking us what our favorite animals were…)

(Maybe I shouldn't have jokingly said to Sunny that Leo's favorite animal was a wolverine…)

(This Christmas is sure going to be something…)

**241. No spiking of the eggnog.**

(Homemade eggnog is one of the greatest things on Earth.)

(So good…The only problem is that the guy who makes the eggnog for us makes two batches.)

(One for the children and teens under 21, and one for the adults.)

(Ratchet never allows any sort of alcoholic beverage on base so he was really confused as to why some of the guys were stumbling around a tiny bit inebriated under his watch.)

(Ironhide figured it out soon enough, but did absolutely the wrong thing with his information.)

(He started spiking regular Energon like we were spiking regular eggnog.)

(Soon enough both Autobots and humans were stumbling around.)

(Lennox is making sure to keep the guys away from the weapons.)

(Prowl is making sure to keep the 'Bots away from humans.)

(I hear that human organs are a real pain to clean out of Autobot gears.)

**242. Stop licking cold Autobots.**

(Come on…This dare is a part of growing up!)

(All it took was one triple dog dare, the promise of a five dollar bill, and Sideswipe…Sideswipe doesn't know that he's involved…but he will soon.)

(The silver mech was in his alt mode and positioned at a street corner for his daily patrol.)

(Leo and I snuck up behind the mech without him even knowing. Recharging on the job!)

('Sides sure wasn't recharging when Leo snuck up behind him and stuck his tongue on his paint!)

(You should have heard 'Sides' squeals! It was hilarious!)

(The dare done, Leo made to pull his tongue back in his mouth and run away before Sideswipe stepped on him for slathering his paint with his disgusting human germs, but there was one tiny problem.)

(Leo's warm tongue was stuck fast to Sideswipe's winter cold alt mode.)

(You see, while Sideswipe was recharging, he had unconsciously let his heating systems turn off and now his alt mode was bitter cold.)

(Cold enough for Leo's tongue to be insta-frozen to his alt mode when he licked him.)

(I had brought a bowl of hot water for just such an occasion, but I was laughing so hard that I had dropped it, and there was no way that Ratchet was going to leave his Med Bay for this.)

(So Sideswipe had to drive insanely slow, with Leo jogging along beside him, back to base so that Ratchet could separate the two.)

(Sideswipe was whining and glitching the whole way. Slow driving _and _germs?)

(I don't think that Sideswipe will ever look at Leo the same way again.)

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><p>MERRY (late) CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D<p> 


	53. Chapter 53

Okay! I had to take a little unplanned vacation away from the Internet for a tiny bit. So sorry! But now that I'm back, I shall be putting my New Resolution into effect and shall respond to each and every review that is left for this little Rulebook! If I don't, I'll let Ironhide step on me. I know that he's been really wanting too...X)

Jimanji the Cynical gets all the Credit for Rule #245 with Soundwave being impervious to practical jokes.

WhiteCougarMatrix117 gets all the Credit for Rule #244 with Scraplets helping Starscream live up to his name.

Boducky gets all the Credit for Rule #246 with Megatron showing off his amazing ability to yell louder than Blaster can blast.

A'isha Ishtar gets all the Credit for Rule #247 with Starscream just being too easy to mess with.

Disclaimer:

Me: *sits at computer* OKAY! Time to update! I'll just-

Megatron: *squishes me* Enough of this!

Ratchet: *yells* Megatron! We needed that!

Optimus: *pinches nasal bridge with didgets* Megatron...

Megatron: What! She left us for scraps on a lonely flash drive with only cat pictures and a old English book report to look at! I almost died of boredom! She must pay!

Sideswipe: My screen time! Without her, I won't have any!

Ratchet and Optimus: *shakes helms*

Wheelie: *holds up sign that says "StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers" on it* Word.

* * *

><p><strong>243. Megatron is not Darth Vader<strong>

(Has anyone else noticed that when Megaton gets really mad, he starts huffing and puffing like he's an asthmatic?)

(Or…like he's Darth Vader.)

(I can't believe that I never noticed the signs before. Darth Vader and Megatron have so much in common!)

(They both were good guys before something happened to them to turn them nasty.)

(They both have startling anger management problems.)

(They both have armies of clones that they treat like dirt.)

(They also both have really epic spaceships.)

(And they both wear buckets on their heads for helmets.)

(Only….I don't know if Megatron has any sparklings under his belt…)

(Maybe I'll have to ask him about that one…when he's had a bit of High Grade in him that is.)

(I don't want to be chocked to death by the force.)

**244. Scraplets are not an appropriate/funny Christmas present. **

(Nor can they be a revenge present.)

(That's just what Starscream gets for being such a prissy aft head all the time.)

(Screamer was totally against the idea of gift giving in the first place.)

(But when the beautifully wrapped Christmas box with his name on it suddenly appeared under the metal Christmas tree….)

(It wasn't soon before long that the SIC's curiosity got the better of him.)

(Soundwave recorded the whole thing.)

(The look on Screamer's faceplates when he opened his present and found all those Scraplets lying in wait!)

(After I finished laughing my aft off, I decided that I _had _to show Megatron.)

(The footage of his SIC screaming loud enough to wake the offlined and dancing around in an effort to get the cannibalistic fraggers off actually got a small smile and a chuckle out of him!)

(Then his personality went back to normal and he sentenced me to the brig for endangering one of his officers.)

(Heh. Merry Christmas to me.)

**245. Soundwave knows where you live. Stop pestering him.**

(Out of all the mechs on the Nemesis, Soundwave is the only on who never talks.)

(Correction: Soundwave is the only mech that I can't get a rise out of.)

(I've tried everything. Gum in his pedes, glitter paint on his visor, duck taping his 'kids' together, playing the Marty's Afro song through his comm. link.)

(Nothing seemed to be working.)

(At least, that's what I thought.)

(After another day of failed attempts at making Soundwave actually talk, I decided to head to my quarters (read: the brig) and take a snooze.)

(What I found was Ravage, Rumble, and Frenzy waiting for me.)

(I barely had time to turn tail and run before they were on me, trussing me up like a Christmas turkey and dragging me down to the Med Bay.)

(Knock Out was out, probably buffing himself somewhere, and the cassettes took that as some kind of green light.)

(They dragged me over a supply closet and started pulling out containers of what looked like oil and started pushing them towards me.)

(Rumble and Frenzy got the lids off just fine and actually started _pouring_ the junk on me!)

(It was cold and slimy and sticky and disgusting and everywhere! I was coated!)

(To make it worse, they started pulling pillows from somewhere and started smacking me with them to get the feathers all over me!)

(They were literally tar-and-feathering me!)

(After they were done, the cassettes just left me there on the floor of the Med Bay for Doc Knock to find.)

(But not without taking pictures of me looking like an overgrown chicken and posting them up everywhere for everyone to see.)

(Message Received Soundwave!)

**246. Anger Management classes don't actually help.**

(Maybe Megatron's mechs would actually be more productive if they were treated better.)

(I mean, look at Starscream.)

(Megatron beats him as a pastime and, as a result, Starscream is constantly trying to overthrow him and snuff his spark.)

(Maybe if Megatron was a nicer leader, like the Autobots' leader, than we would actually get things done and maybe win a couple battles for once!)

(So I took the liberty of signing Megatron up for some anger management classes on the weekends.)

(The flyers said that all types were welcome.)

(I think they meant males and females and not species types like I originally thought.)

(Because when Megatron showed up at the place that was hosting the classes…there was a lot of running and screaming.)

(Megatron's shouting wasn't really helping things either.)

(You see, in order to get Megatron to actually _go_ to the classes, I had to make some fake story up about how Optimus Prime had finally seen his ways and was willing to let Megatron offline him to end the war yadda yadda yadda.)

(I can't honestly remember what I wrote in that data pad that I sent to him in order to get Megatron to come.)

(Musta' been pretty convincing though, because he's making quite a scene in there.)

(He shouting and shooting and…hey…when did he get a flamethrower?!)

(Hook!)

**247. Let's stick to the song's actual lyrics, shall we?**

(Why is it so easy to make up songs up about Starscream?)

(Scratch that…Why is it so easy to make fun of Starscream in general?)

(Nicki Minaj and her song 'Starships' actually helped with this.)

"Starscream is meant to fly! Servos up, he can touch the sky! Can't stop, 'cause he's so hiiiiigh! Let's do this one more time!"

(The song went on for a bit more. I had changed more than half of the song to fit my needs.)

(But I had to stop singing and run for my life as soon as Screamer heard the end of the chorus.)

"He's higher than a Megafragger…"

(Screamer really didn't appreciate the not-so-subtle innuendo.)

(I think he invents new curse words to scream at me when I piss him off.)

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><p>Thought that the 'Cons could use some loving. XD Hope you all enjoyed this Chapter! If yo uleave a review, exprect a reaply sometime this week! Feel free to guilt me into action!<p> 


	54. Chapter 54

You're sitting at a nice tea party when a female white rabbit dressed in a three peice suit dashes past. Just as you start to wonder how in the world the rabbit managed to find a three peice suit to fit its strange frame, the rabbit whips out a pockt watch, eyes the watche face, and lets out a terrified scream. "I'M LATE!" the rabbit howels before flitting off faster than your eye can follow.

ratchetsfangirl gets all the Credit for Rule #251 with Jazz putting Leo in his place via beatboxing poetry.

Trapezoidal gets all the Credit for Rule #248 with *hums Jaws theme* ...fangirls...

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #249 with one night of shopping ruined by the Big Buddha himself.

**Optimus' girl:** "Two stupid Decepticons". You hatin' on Breakdown? *cuddles the poor abused 'Con* X) I'll have to check out that Fic though. : ) And yeah…*rubs back of head* My updates are getting later and later…Thank you so much for guilting me into this…ugh. I feel terrible. TnT I'm glad that you've enjoyed this Fic so much though! :D Thanks for your Devastator sized support! :D You have no idea how much it means to me! :D And as for my horoscope, I was saved by Sideways. XD I have no idea why! XD Maybe Megatron ordered Sideways to because he knows that he would miss me if I was terminated! XD Judging by your review, you're not a big fan of Megsie are you? Thanks for all of the epic rules and reviews! :D :D

**ss:** Yeah, but after the failed attempt against Ironhide, hypnotism was banned throughout the base. Every time Prowl sees a pocket watch from here on out, he immediately snatches it and squishes it under his pede. ^^; But goodness…wouldn't it be fun to hypnotize Prowl? XD Sorry about that Rule being taken already. If you have anything else that you want to see in this Rule book, send it in! Hopefully someone won't have taken your idea! Sorry about that again. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Hawky:** Thanks! :D Glad I've lifted that veil. No one deserves to be ignorant to Megatron's Twin! XD Good luck watching Star Wars the same way again. : ) Thanks for reading and reviewing. : )

**Guest:** _Lmao! I always wondered if Soundwave could…_ Well now you know! XD Children, do not provoke Soundwave at home. He knows where you live and you may think that your safe in your room, but you're definitely not! Soundwave has optics everywhere! XD I'm sure that Screamer agrees with you wholesparkedly on the anger management thing for Megatron…XD Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Californiagirl26:** Thanks! :D Gotta love Sideswipe and his phobias! XD Christmas with the 'Bots…and we thought _our_ families were crazy? X) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**T.M.D:** Happy (late) New Year and Christmas! ^^; Oh no, false redneck teeth….*pictures Ratchet's glitch* So epic! XD I'll have to Google that show you suggested… :) As for the third Rule about the Hunger Games, someone already suggested that one. Sorry! ^^; No one suggested the Rule about ghosts at the base! I can see Leo bringing a Ouija board or something and totally freaking the 'Bots out! XD And yes! I did hear about that! :D :D I heard that not many human actors are going to be playing in the new movie which means more focus on the 'Bots! And that means more 'Bots to replace the ones that were taken from us during the third movie! Come on Sunstreaker! I'd love if Knock Out was given a movie role…One can only dream. X) Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for the epic reviews! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: *wandering around room, arms outstretched* Marco!

Mirage: Polo.

Me: *whirls around* Marco!

Mirage: *struts out of my reach* Polo.

Me: Grr! MARCO!

Mirage: *laughing* Polo!

Ratchet: What in Primus is going on in here? Who is yelling?! *eyes me apparently screaming to myself* What is wrong with the human?

Sunstreaker: She's trying to play that human game 'Marco Polo' again for rights to own us...She found everyone but one. If she finds him, she gets to own us.

Ratchet: *quickly Googles how to play 'Marco Polo'* You're not playing correctly. She needs her eyes closed and…Wait…*eyes the 'found' mechs* Who else is playing? Mirage?

Sideswipe: *nods*

Ratchet: *nods in approval* Good.

Me: DANG YOUR INVISIBILITY POWERS!

* * *

><p><strong>248. Never let the fangirls in.<strong>

(It's been only a few years since the 'Bots have revealed themselves to the public.)

(You'd think that it'd take the general population a while to get over the "OH MY GOD IT'S A FRIGGIN' ALIEN ROBOT! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" stage to the "A transforming robot? Seen it. Show me a dancing platypus. Then I'll be impressed." stage.)

(Turns out that teenage girls tend to ignore the "OH MY GOD! RUN!" stage and skip right into the "OH MY GOD! HUG ME!" stage.)

(I came to the base after a rather sucky day of school to see, just, _hoards_ of teenage girls hanging outside the base.)

(They were all screaming and shouting and some were even trying to climb over the barbed wire perimeter face.)

(The guards on the other side were just watching the girls, occasionally apprehending one of the lucky ones that actually got over the fence.)

(You should have seen it when Sam pulled up in Bumblebee.)

(Complete and utter chaos.)

(I've never seen Bumblebee so scared.)

(He peeled out of the base so fast that you'd think the fangirls were Scraplets!)

(Maybe if Lennox calls Optimus out the fangirls will scream themselves silly and just kinda pass out from lack of oxygen...)

(Then we can just kinda….scoop them up and take 'em home.)

**249. When sneaking out, try to be a bit sneakier.**

(Heaven forbid I go out and have a little fun.)

(So what if it's nearly two in the morning? It's not like I was going out on a school night!)

(When it's Black Friday, it's Black Friday. I am not going to miss out on those figh-deals.)

(I am not going to miss out on those deals.)

(I had planned on sneaking out after the 'Bots had headed to their respective berths for recharge.)

(I already had my stuff together, cab fare in hand, and was trying to sneak as quietly as I could out of the base.)

(Little did I know that Optimus is one of those mechs that never seems to recharge.)

(He was sitting in one of the large chairs that the N.E.S.T guys had fashioned for him, reading a data pad with a small cube of Energon on a table at his side.)

(The sight kind of made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, seeing our leader sitting there all peaceful and quiet like that.)

(He even had a pair of reading glasses on!)

(The image was ruined and the warm fuzzies were squashed when Optimus looked up from his data pad and caught me trying to sneak out.)

(He immediately sent me back to bed and made sure that I stayed there by posting one of Blaster's deployers to stand guard outside of my room.)

**250. Screaming.**

(No. Just…No.)

(Autobots may not be up to date on all the noises that we humans make and the meanings behind them, but I think they get the gist of screaming.)

(They understand that, when humans scream, they're usually in some kind of trouble.)

(Screaming to them is like a car alarm on a car.)

(To Ironhide, it's just an excuse to blow slag up.)

(The last time I saw a spider, I made the mistake of screaming really loud instead of just smashing the spider as per usual.)

(Ironhide came running in and immediately started open firing on anything in sight.)

(I barely made it under some fallen furniture for cover when Ratchet ran in behind Ironhide, shouting about what all the commotion was.)

(I dove out from behind my shelter and started screeching about how Ironhide was trying to kill me.)

(That caused Ironhide to shout about how no, he most definitely was not trying to kill me...yet.)

(Basically, all three of us were shouting, our voices raising in pitch until neither of us could hear ourselves think.)

(Optimus eventually had to be called in to break up the little shouting match and send us all on our ways.)

(The spider got away, my throat hurts like slag from all the shouting, but I'm pretty proud of myself.)

(I held my own against two superior Cybertronian beings in a shouting match without my lungs exploding.)

**251. Do not host rap battles.**

(Leo listens to way too much rap.)

('Bee, being the easily swayable 'Bot that he is, gave into Leo's pesterings and now listens to rap as well.)

(Leo played my "widening his musical horizons/palate" card to get him to listen to it.)

(But that does not mean that you can now host rap battles whenever you want.)

(Jazz was not helping. He kept insisting that he knew more about rapping than Leo because he was the bigger music maestro.)

(Leo replied that making a few light shows with music from the radio does not count as being a music maestro.)

(Now their both in the Rec Room, rapping their lungs out.)

(I will admit that Jazz is a pretty epic rapper; Leo just sounds pathetic compared to him.)

(What really surprised me was when Red Alert pushed past the gathered spectators and busted into a rap of his own.)

(I never knew the paranoid thing had it in him.)

(Kinda makes me wonder what else the spazzy mech has up his robotic sleeves.)

(He'd be a real force to be reckoned with if he wasn't constantly glitching at the slightest thing.)

* * *

><p>I hope that no one was offended by the first Rule. Honestly, I'd be one of the chicks trying to climb over the fence and totally would scream myself silly if they called Optimus out. X) And sorry that this Chapter is so late and not really that funny. TnT I promise to ramp it up next Chapter. Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	55. Chapter 55

I know what you're all thinking. "So soon! A miracle! I am witness to a miracle! Hallelujah!" Well I gotta do my best to keep you all on your toes. X) That's a lie. I just typed this one up really fast because my immense guilt was crushing me to death over the lateness of the last Chapter. ^^; Enjoy!

Iceshadow911247 gets all the Credit for Rule #252 with television from other lands really freaking 'Bee out.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #253 with hamsters putting the drop on the 'Bots...and making them paranoid.

Autobot-Blurr 221 gets all the Credit for Rule #254 with Ratchet really living up to his new nickname.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #255 with Ratchet's paranoia over the delicacy of the human brain proven.

Trapezoidal gets all the Credit for Rule #256 with Leo on-purpose/accidentally banning yet another place for us to eat at.

**Naughtia: **Glad you're not. :) I was worried for a bit that some people would be. And I think I'd be right up there with you! That is...as soon as someone finds out where their base actually _is..._But that's probably the reason why they hide its location so well! XD Screamer would have good reason to scream if he saw hoards of fangirls outside of their base! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**Optimus' girl:** Who knew, right? XD Out of the trine...hmm...I bet Skywarp is. He's so random. XD I did get your new Rule, along with the others that you sent in previous reviews. :) No worries, they're all written down and I plan on using them. Sorry it's taking me so long. TnT It wouldn't have been that bad to have been cuffed to Soundwave. At least he's quiet...maybe _too_ quiet. *shudders* Maybe you're right. Sentinel wouldn't have lived if I was cuffed to him. Either I'd knock him out, or I'd chew though my arm to get away from him. But it depends what Sentinel we're talking about. Totally have to agree with you on Breakdown. :) And thanks! :D Thanks for reading, reviewing, the support, and for the new rules. :)

**Guest: **_I actually loved the... _Glad that you did! :D I know for sure that I'd be one of the girls trying to climb over the fence. Nothing can keep me from the 'Bots! XD The barbed wire might be a problem though...ouch...XD Thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad that you're laughing! :D

**Guest: **_Thanks you! _You're welcome! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: Sooo...You're a copy of Starscream? Like a clone?

Slipstream: *grinds denta* Stop talking to me you pathetic piece of human flesh.

Me: Ooh! Touchy touchy...I'll take that as a yes.

Slipstream: No, really. Keep up your chattering and I'll step on you. I swear I will.

Me: All the clones were fragments of Starscream's personality, right? Skywarp was Screamers cowardice and stuff? Am I right so far? Bits of the original?

Slipstream: One. More. Word. *pulls guns out of subspace*

Me: I am right. So, since all of the clones are bits of Starscream's personality and your one of his clones...what bit of his personality does that make you? What, does Screamer have a feminine side? Is Megatron aware of this? Is Screamer really a diva at heart? Woah! *dodges plasma blast*

Slipstream: *grins evilly* I did warn you. *fires at me again* Run squishy. Run.

Me: I may have pushed her too far...*runs off* I do not own the Transformers! Else I'd have this crazy femme to deal with!

Slipstream: That's it! *changes into alt mode and zooms after me, firing all the way*

* * *

><p><strong>252. Thailand television…really?<strong>

(I dunno...Ratchet likes to learn about other cultures.)

(He thinks that the best way to do this is by watching soap operas from other countries.)

(He went from Spanish soaps to Thailand ones.)

(I find his odd little hobby extremely amusing and I make a point of watching the soaps with Ratchet when they're on.)

(I learned a couple of decent Spanish curse words from the Spanish soaps.)

(Anyway, while Ratchet's show was on commercial, Bumblebee wandered in to see what we were watching.)

(Just as he walked in, the commercial Ratchet and I had dubbed "Thailand House Lizards Love Story" came on...and 'Bee freaked...out.)

(He immediately looked up the commercial on Youtube and forwarded it to the rest of the 'Bots.)

(Red Alert freaked and ran off to try and buy the Flexi Ceiling Tile from the commercial to prevent any more lizard relationships from being devastatingly ruined.)

(Hound nearly broke down in tears over the poor lizard lovers.)

(Ratchet and Prowl eventually ruined the moment by saying that lizards are not actually smart enough to have actual feelings for each other like love.)

(That they only have primal mating desires, natural instincts, and the need to keep their species alive, blah blah blah.)

(Afts.)

**253. Hamsters are not capable of speech.**

(Or are they?)

(At least, that's what the 'Bots are convinced of after I showed Annabelle one of my favorite television shows from my childhood.)

(HAMTARO!)

(I mean, come on. What's cuter than talking hamsters?)

(Annabelle was completely in love with the hamsters and even convinced her parents to buy her a new hamster pet.)

(She named it Bijou after her favorite hamster in the television show.)

(Annabelle took her hamster everywhere, and everywhere that she took it, the 'Bots kept a skeptical optic on it.)

(They kept expecting it to jump up and try and escape its cage when Annabelle turned her back like the hamsters in Hamtaro.)

(One day, Annabelle forgot Bijou at the base.)

(The 'Bots didn't really know what to do with the hamster.)

(Eventually, Ironhide set up a guard around the hamsters' cage.)

(He totally believed that the hamster was just like the ones in Hamtaro and would try to escape and cause mischief as soon as his back was turned.)

(And that last thing that Ironhide wanted was for Annabelle to come back to the base the next day and see her precious hamster was missing.)

(Sparks would be broken, that's for sure.)

**254. When the Doctor of Doom appoints you a checkup, you go.**

(No excuses.)

(Sam, Leo, Mikaela, and I thought that we'd be safe from the CMO, seeing as how we weren't soldiers or anything like that.)

(But nooooo! We all had appointments the next week because Ratchet "wanted to check our pathetic human metabolisms" or something like that.)

(And lemme tell you what, it is not a pleasant experience and I finally understand why all the N.E.S.T guys try to avoid their appointments.)

(Ratchet has no patience, little time, too many pokey tools, and no concept of pity.)

(And those freezing cold metal fingers! Brrr!)

(His constant paranoia over our "delicate fleshy frames and organs" is so annoying.)

(He freaks out over the smallest paper cut, thinking that we're going to bleed out or something.)

(It's no wonder that we all try to avoid our checkups when we can.)

(But if Ratchet catches you trying to avoid your checkup...watch out.)

(Excuses mean nothing to him and he had wayyyy to many medical tools in his subspace compartments.)

(I've seen him whip out a sedative on the spot, jab someone with it, wait for them to pass out, then drag them to the Med Bay right in front of Primus and everyone.)

(He's not even subtle about it. His "Mr. Joe-Cool-I-Knock-People-Out-On-A-Regular-Basis-What-About-It-You-Wanna-Be-Next?" attitude.)

(Doctor of Doom, indeed…)

**255. Brain Freeze.**

(It was just another typical day at the base.)

(Ironhide was rampaging about something or other, there were lots of wrenches being thrown, and pranks were going down. You know, the usual.)

(To jazz the day up a bit, I had brought in some Slurpies for Sam, Leo, and I.)

(Ratchet had no idea how bad Slurpies were yet, so we were trying to eat them as quickly as possible.)

(Not a good idea.)

(All three of us had just finished at the same time when icy coldness suddenly hit us like a tidal wave, leaving us sprawled out on the floor, clutching our heads, and screaming "BRAIN FREEEZZEE!" at the top of our lungs.)

(The N.E.S.T guys didn't pay us any attention, but 'Bee bolted over, scooped us all up, and ran to the Med Bay as quick as his pedes could carry him.)

(Bumblebee made it to the Med Bay in record time, shouting for Ratchet to check us out or something.)

(I couldn't really understand what he was saying. All I knew was that I had one of the worst headaches of all time.)

(Eventually Ratchet came over and asked what was wrong. He took one look at Sam flopping around like a fish screaming "Brain Freeze" over and over in 'Bee's servo and got the picture pretty quick.)

(It all went downhill from there.)

(Ratchet went into a frenzy, panicking about our "frozen brains" and digging through his rather large medical tool box for something that could help us.)

(Bumblebee was probably the worst, making these awful noises with his ruined voice box, hovering over us and yelling at Ratchet with his radio.)

(After about 10 minutes, we had all recovered from our brain freezes and just kinda sat there, watching Ratchet run around like crazy, laughing at how frantic he was.)

(We immediately clammed up when Ratchet stopped scrambling around and realized that we were all fine.)

(All I remember after that is several wrenches being thrown, lots of shouting, and I think the fire alarm...)

(I woke up in the Med Bay two hours later, and got an earful from Ratchet about how we got him all worked up for nothing, that we wasted his precious time, and how we all got what we deserved.)

(And how Slurpies were now banned from Base.)

(Another tasty food gone to waste...)

**256. An argument could be made whether or not Subway is fast food. Don't make it with Ratchet. **

(All food places are the same to him.)

(The only way that an eating establishment can not be considered fast food is that you have to wait at least an hour for your food to arrive at your table.)

(It doesn't matter that Subway has special sandwiches for those looking to cut down on their calorie intake or that they have a menu just for people trying to watch their weight.)

(No. Subway has mayonnaise among their sauces. They are forever marked as unhealthy fast food in Ratchet's optics.)

(It doesn't help that when I brought Ratchet to Subway to try and convince him that it was not unhealthy, that the sandwich that Leo ordered had pretty much all of the unhealthy things that they had to offer on it.)

(And he ordered three cookies...and a bag of chips.)

(When Leo finally turned around to see Ratchet and my reactions...he just made my case worse by talking.)

"What? You said to cut back. This is cutting back. Normally I get two sandwiches and five cookies."

(I slapped my forehead so hard that I had a small bruise on it the next day.)

(Ratchet just looked disgusted about everything...but at least he kept his ranting in check until we had made it back to the base.)

(At least I got some revenge for Leo ruining yet another decent place to eat.)

(Ratchet took his sandwich away from him before he even had the chance to unwrap it.)

* * *

><p>Good? Bad? Funny? Stupid? Let me know by leaving a review if you have the time! Oh! And if you see any spelling mistakes floating about, feel free to tell me about them. My SpellCheck isn't the best and I miss a lot of stuff when scanning. Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	56. Chapter 56

I...don't really have anything of importance to say up here...Huh...Maybe I'm forgetting something...

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #258 with a mad party going on in ones organs.

Boducky gets all the Credit for Rule #259 with Wheeljack using his mad inventor skills to prove a point.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule # 257 with 'Jackie pulling a prank on April Fools days that's...rather surprising.

**Guest: **_Lol. _Keep up the Laugh Out Loud'ing! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**Optimus' girl: **Updating! Updating today! *shuffles papers around meaningfully* X) And yeah! Easter's coming up really fast! I gotta make sure that Wheeljack doesn't tamper with the eggs again...Who knows what he'll make them into! And Megatron and his chocolate addiction! X) Ironhide + Dog Shows = Total chaos. He'd be ranting and raving! Perfect punishment for him though! XD As for best hiding place...hmm. I'd have to say the woman's restroom. His alt mode can't go in there and his bipedal form is too huge to fit. The gals on base would raise Pit if they found one of the mechs going into a woman's bathroom. At least I would! XD And thanks for that encouragement! Really made my day! :D Loved all of your new Ideas and I hope you enjoy the representation of one of your suggested Rules in this Chapter. :) Thanks for reading and all that. :)

**Chinagal1: **XD Oh Primus! I've seen commercials for that show! I think that watching it would drive any 'Bot to tears! Just the sparkles and girly-ness alone would have 'Jackie in fits! XD The best thing has to be the fact that Ironhide _has_ to watch that show because Annabelle wants to watch that show. He _has_ to sit through all the princess parties and stuff because if he didn't...his precious little charge, Annabelle, would be all upset and maybe cry and oh my goodness we can not have that happen. But I can imagine Wheeljack trying his best not to let that show air anywhere near the base! XD Excellent Idea! Oh Primus...XD Thanks for that! And don't worry about it! I totally understand how grueling and demanding life is. It can be a cold and heartless glitch sometimes. *nods* Thanks for the reviews though! :)

**Guest: **_Ratchet is so..._ XD I know, right! He's probably one of the best 'Bots to rile up! Besides Ironhide that is. But if your rile Ironhide up...he might shoot you...and you might not survive that...With Ratchet you just might get a huge knot on your head from getting whacked by one of his wrenches. And because Ratchet is also the CMO, he can fix you up in a jiffy. Ironhide's method of fixing you up would probably be just to step on you...Anyhoo! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

**T.M.D: ***waves hands around excitedly* You have no idea how much I am loving your new Rule Ideas right now. I read your list and I literally was bombarded with mental images of those Rules going down. I literally had to run to my laptop and start typing them up right away because I didn't want to forget and oh my goodness I am laughing so hard and I love the reason behind the puzzle Rule that popped into my head and the one about Slender Man and I'm sure that you guys won't find these as funny as I do but Primus! XD Thank you soooo much! XD Expect the puzzle Rule next Chapter!

**Angel Heart: **Aww...*blushes and shuffles feet* You're just saying that. X) But thank you! I'm really happy that you're loving these Rules and that you're laughing at them! :D Thank you! :D Hopefully this Chapter makes you laugh just as much as the others! :)

Disclaimer:

Me: *hugs Jack Frost* Oh my Primus man I love you right now! Snow! Again with the snow! Fluffy white sparkling shiny white freezing snow! Yay! Snow!

Hound: *walks in and sees me hugging a lamppost* Oh Primus. Here we go again. *opens comm. link* Ratchet? The authoress is hugging imaginary people and conversing with them again...Mmhm...Yeah...Okay. *closes comm. link and motions to Red Alert* Wanna help me drag her to the Med Bay?

Red Alert: *frets* But...what if the people who she's talking to are _real_? What is we're the only ones who can't see them and they're dangerous and we're at risk and she's at risk and we're all going to perish and I just can't see it! *wrings servos together and vents heavily*

Hound: ...Alright then...I'll just have to get her myself...Then take you in after words...

Me: *as Hound drags me away* Nooo! You just don't believe in him! That's why you can't see him! If I owned you I could make you believe! Nooo! Jack! Save me!

* * *

><p><strong>257. Didn't we already talk about April Fool's Day?<strong>

(Apparently Wheeljack didn't get that memo.)

(We had just had a really messy battle with the 'Cons and the base was full of bustling 'Bots trying to get their standard repairs.)

(Ratchet was really busy tending to other soldiers and mechs.)

(That left Wheeljack to take over a few patients to help pick up the slack.)

(Those patients just so happened to be Optimus, Prowl, and Jazz.)

(And what a repair 'Jackie gave 'em.)

(In the middle of all the ruckus, we all had totally forgotten that it was April 1st…but Wheeljack had evidently remembered.)

(Because when Optimus, Prowl, and Jazz came out of recharge after their repairs were finished, they had the shock of their lives.)

(Wheeljack had molded their frames into that of a femme…)

(I never thought that I would hear that kind of scream come out of Prowl's voice box.)

(Optimus just sat there on the medical berth while Prowl continued screaming, helm in servo, venting to himself.)

(Jazz actually got up and started admiring his new frame in the polished metal surfaces of the medical tool cabinets.)

(After Prowl stopped screaming, his old attitude eventually returned and he barked at Wheeljack to return them to their original frames. IMMEDIATELY!)

(I also never thought I'd see Prowl look that scary in a frame like that either…)

**258. Pop rocks + Soda = Are You Out Of Your Fraggin' Mind?**

(Never again. Never. Again.)

(The soda alone was already banned under Ratchet's sugar Nazi dictatorship, but the Pop Rocks…)

(Ratchet had no idea what he was in for.)

(Because I never back down from a dare, especially one that Leo offers up.)

(It involved one mug full of Pop Rocks, one large bottle of soda, and Ratchet.)

(I had to sneak up behind Ratchet, down the soda, and scarf down all the Pop Rocks at the same time.)

(Wait for the Pop Rocks to meet the soda and….)

"I'M A TICKING TIME BOMB OF AWESOME!"

(You should have seen Ratchet's expression when he whirled around to see me running off madly, crackling noises coming out of my mouth.)

(His moment of shock lasted about a microsecond before he chased me down and dragged me to the Med Bay, really thinking that I was a ticking time bomb judging by the noises that were coming out of my stomach.)

(Now I regret the Pop Rocks and soda mixture. My stomach feels like I swallowed a jar full of acid.)

(Ratchet's only diagnosis after about a half hour of medical scans was that whatever brains I had had, I had lost them long ago.)

(Ironhide was not surprised.)

**259. Wheeljack is not MacGyver.**

(One episode. That's all that the Lambo Twins saw.)

(Now they're insisting that Wheeljack is exactly like MacGyver.)

(I've never seen the show myself, but if this MacGyver guy is anything like Wheeljack, does that mean that he blows a lot of crap up?)

(Wheeljack didn't take that well when I asked him that.)

(In fact, he asked Sideswipe and Sunstreaker if they could help him prove to me that he was like MacGyver.)

(I think that that's gonna be pretty hard to do, considering that I've never actually seen the guy.)

(That didn't stop 'Jackie. He came up to me all week-long with all a manner of pocket junk.)

(He would gather all these random objects like paperclips and marbles and junk and make these crazy inventions and sculptures out of them.)

(I'm not impressed. Although the tiny flamethrower made of a match, a thumbtack, a thimble, and a Bunsen Burner was pretty cool.)

(Don't ask me how he made it.)

(I can tell by the smug look on Wheeljack's faceplates that he knew that I was impressed by the pocket flamethrower.)

(And now he never lets me forget it.)

(Cheeky little fragger.)

**260. Miko requires adult supervision at all times.**

(Notice I put ADULT supervision.)

(As in adult HUMAN.)

(Because somebots are too irresponsible *coughSIDESWIPEcough* to watch her.)

(Somebots let her into Wheeljack's lab and let her handle the new electro-bombs that he was making.)

(And then turn a blind optic when she turns the bomb on and hurls it at the nearest Energon tank.)

(When questioned, Miko replied that the bomb had been "wicked awesome" and the resulting explosions were "totally hardcore" thus her reason for throwing it in the first place.)

(She said that she was practicing special effects for her first rock concert.)

(When the 'Bot responsible for not watching Miko was questioned, he responded that he had no idea what his little charge had done and no he didn't know how Miko had snuck past the Autobot encrypted passcode in the door.)

(Must have been magic.)

(Since Miko is too tiny to be punished by Ratchet, Sidesw- er…the 'Bot responsible will have to take her place.)

(I don't think that Ratchet is complaining…)

* * *

><p>Thought I'd finally bring the TFP kids in here. X) Leave a review telling me what you think about this Chapter if you've got the time! Thanks for reading! :D Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get my feels ready for the season three première of TFP. OPTIMUS! *cough* I am such a dork. XD<p> 


	57. Chapter 57

*sniffles* You guys…I jus' wanna hug all of you! The anon reviews/readers, the faithful reviews/readers who've been reviewing since Chapter One, the new readers/ reviews, and even the lurkers! I appreciate you all so much! You have no idea! 1,000 reviews! And let's not forget all the sent in Rules and Ideas! They're awesome! I still haven't got around to using them all, but I promise that I will. :) Thanks you all so much. So please! Enjoy this Chapter! Courtesy of a very grateful StoleTheSpider. :)

**Oh. And P.S. I don't know if it's offensive or not, but I wanna warn you all anyway. A part of a woman's reproductive system is mentioned in the first Rule of this Chapter. If you're offended by that in some way, avert your eyes and scroll down a bit. **Honestly, it's not even that bad. I just felt the need to warn you all anyway.

T.M.D gets all the credit for Rules # 262 and 263 with Slender attacking toilets and puzzles on fire.

Arsenal18 gets all the Credit for Rule #265 with comic book inventions being made by the worst possible mech.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #264 with all hands and feet accounted for…lest we face Hatchet's wrath.

Disclaimer:

Me: HI-YAH! *jumps in and tries to karate kick Smokescreen*

Smokescreen: Huh? *looks down at little ole' me* What're you doing?

Me: Attacking you! I have to make sure you're up to snuff! New recruit of Team Prime and all. And I know that I don't own any of you guys, but that doesn't mean that I can't test you!

Smokescreen: *stares at me, then looks to Ratchet, who's reading a data pad nearby* Translation?

Ratchet: *not looking up from his data pad* She wants to see how much she can annoy you before you crack. Watch yourself so you don't step on her. Their insides are hard to clean up.

Me: Exactly! Except for the insides part…Let's see what you're made of! *pulls out rubber chicken and waves it around* I have a bunch of cheesy jokes to start off with! If you can take that, then we can move onto the next level!

Smokescreen: Next…level?

Ratchet: Immature pranks. Expect flour. Lots of flour.

* * *

><p><strong>261. Tom Hiddleston is not a threat to a woman's reproductive capacities.<strong>

(My God, Tom Hiddleston…that smile.)

(Mikaela and I were talking, rather, squealing, about him while watching 'Thor' one afternoon.)

(Sideswipe was polishing up his armblades in the same room and just so happened to overhear our conversation.)

(That, and being thoroughly impressed by Loki's BA-ness in the movie, Sideswipe went around telling the rest of the 'Bots about him after the movie was over…using one my descriptions.)

"Willa said that his smile is so evil that it can bust a human's ovary!"

(He literally had no idea what he was saying.)

(Some of the 'Bots were impressed-they had no idea what an ovary was either-and others were either unimpressed or just confused.)

(Until they looked up what an ovary actually was…then they were just grossed out.)

(But when Ratchet heard, knowing what an ovary was and how important it was to the reproduction of humans, he flipped out.)

(He called Mikaela and I down to the Med Bay immediately to give us several medical scans that we outright refused to submit to under the pain of off lining.)

(Ratchet huffed a bit, but settled for banning any and all movies that had Tom Hiddleston in them to protect any and all women at base.)

(I think he was just jealous that femmes weren't screaming for him that way that women scream for Hiddleston.)

**262. Puzzles are not to be shouted at.**

(I've been at this at this puzzle for four hours.)

(I thought that I'd be finished with it in a couple of minutes, it being only 200 pieces and all.)

(But noooo. It had to be one of those 'picture made up of pictures' puzzles and I really can't figure it out.)

(Of course I got a little frustrated. And maybe a little shouty.)

(And maybe all my cursing drew Ironhide in to see just what the heck I was getting so worked up over.)

(When I explained my problem to him, Ironhide gave the puzzle one deadpan look…paused a few seconds…then pulled his cannons out of subspace and fired.)

(I was blown back by the blast and when I stood up again…the table that the puzzle had been on was on fire…)

(I had to call Lennox to find out where the nearest fire extinguisher was in order to put out the flames.)

(Ironhide just stood by and watched while I freaked out and sprayed foam over everything.)

(When I walked up to him later and started chewing him out for literally blowing up my puzzle…he just looked at me with that same deadpan look and said…)

"You asked me to solve the problem. I solved it. You got a problem with that?"

(His cannons were still out of subspace when he said that and had begun to power up when he raised an optic ridge.)

(I backed away slowly.)

(Note to self. Never ask Ironhide for help. Something always gets blown up.)

**263. Slender Man is Slender Scary.**

(Psht! Come on guys! It's a computer game! How scary can it be?)

(Red Alert and a few of the other 'Bots were off duty and curious about what Slender was and why everyone was making such a fuss about it.)

(They decided to watch me play on the huge Autobot sized T.V. Big mistake.)

(At first, the game was fine. Find the papers. Avoid getting the Slender guy in your sights.)

(But then, as the game progressed, things got creepier.)

(The noises changed and became more sinister, really setting the creepy mood, and I started to feel my heart rate pick up.)

(Red Alert was nearly glitching beside me.)

(Slender kept popping up on my screen and I kept jumping every time, causing the 'Bots around me to jump.)

(We were all becoming nervous wrecks.)

(When we were all really into the game, the worst happened.)

(I had found this bathroom looking area and had decided to go inside to see if there were any papers.)

(Big mistake number two.)

(I had somehow gotten lost in all the corridors and was basically traveling in circles, trying to find my way back outside again.)

(Until I was sneak attacked by Slender.)

(My terrified/surprised scream could've woken the dead.)

(Red Alert screamed as well, along with a couple other 'Bots, and glitched right there on the floor.)

(I feel about ready to follow his example!)

**264. Never pretend that you have lost an appendage.**

(Pirates are just plain awesome.)

(When I found out there was a 'Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day' I was giggling like a little school girl.)

(I marked my calendar and when the day came, I dressed up in my old pirate Halloween costume and headed to the base.)

(Sam and the rest of the guys thought it was hilarious how I was talking like a pirate, yelling at people to mop the poop-deck, raise the sails, and all that.)

(The Autobots...they were another story.)

(Optimus was confused and thought my dressing up and way of speaking was just some other strange human ritual or something.)

(Ironhide thought I had completely lost my marbles…again.)

(Bumblebee was the only one who seemed to get it, and followed my lead by speaking for the rest of the day with little clips from various pirate movies.)

(He even managed to somehow transform one servo into a hook shape.)

(Then it came down to Ratchet.)

(My costume, of course, had a hook and a peg leg, my hand hidden under my sleeve and my leg tucked in my pants, and after a few days of practicing it looked like they weren't even there!)

(That was the problem...Ratchet actually thought that they weren't there.)

(He screamed when he saw me and started asking me what I had done to myself and why would I even think about cutting off my hand and leg.)

(It took me a while, but I managed to calm Ratchet down and show him that it was all fake.)

(Of course, it had only taken him a second to start ranting about how I should never pull something like that off again and how if I ever did cut my hand or leg off, he wouldn't help me.)

(I just kinda waved it off. When would I ever cut my hand off?)

(When Ratchet finally let me go, I went to the cafeteria to get some lunch.)

(And of course, being me, while I was cutting away at some chicken, I nearly cut my finger off.)

(I might need to reconsider what Ratchet said...)

**265. Leave shrink rays for the comic books.**

(Just a simple shrink ray and an actual working invention of Wheeljack's.)

('Working' just means that it hasn't blown up yet.)

(Thing is, Wheeljack kept the shrink way a secret from Prime and the rest of the 'Bots, not wanting them to take it away from him.)

(He was planning on testing it out during their next Decepticon skirmish…and did.)

(Only the shrink ray wasn't as working as he made it sound.)

(It malfunctioned during the middle of the battle and the resulting shrink ray shock waves hit every 'Bot on the battlefield.)

(After the smoke cleared…the N.E.S.T guys got the shock of their lives.)

(All the Transformers were mini sized! They could fit in the palms of their hands!)

(While the 'Bots were respectfully herded together to prevent them from getting squashed under a guy's heel, the Decepticons' new sizes were taken advantage of.)

(Epps was using Megatron as a cute little hackysack…one that let out a Cybertronian curse word every time you passed it.)

(Lennox turned Starscream into a living paddleball. He tied 'Screamer to a paddle with a piece of string, let him fly away a bit, then yanked him back in only to repeat the whole thing again.)

(This all went on for a few minutes before Optimus started scolding the soldiers for disrespecting the 'Cons in their weak state and told them all to stop.)

(Even though he was only ten inches tall…everyone still listened to the Prime.)

(Now the 'Cons are just being kept in glass bug catching jars in the brig until the effects of the shrink ray start to wear off.)

* * *

><p>Thanks again all. :) Feel free to point out any and all spelling andor grammar mistakes that I have made in this Chapter. No, really. Point them out. :)


	58. Chapter 58

I'm finally done! Graduating! Jiminy Jammin'…That means that I should have more time to update my various Fics and, I don't know, actually respond to the reviews that you guys leave for me?! Primus…I am so sorry. Just know I have read every review that you guys have left, written down the rules that you have suggested, plan on using them, and have done various happy dances of joy when reading your compliments and comments about the Rules. My friends are looking at me funny, but I could care less. XD Anyhoo, enjoy!

A Guest gets all the Credit for Rule #266 with giant Japanese lizards resulting in the need for sedatives to be poked in not-so-nice-places.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #267 with teenagers just wanting to show Galloway that he's still loved…in a way.

JC gets all the Credit for Rule #268 with funny Internet people causing swimming Noodle Mayhem and the swinging of swords.

Jimanji the Cynical gets all the Credit for Rule #269 with teenage children helping shape the children that are our future…in a way.

Disclaimer:

Me: *hugs Sam* Happy Mother's Day!

Sam: What the Pit?! Why are you hugging me? I'm male, for one thing, and Mikaela and I aren't planning on having children any time soon, not that we've been thinking about it, I mean, why would we be thinking about it, and just soo…*embarrassed rambling dies off*

Me: What? I'm not hugging you! I'm hugging the Allspark spark inside of you! You know how the Allspark is what makes the Autobots and the Decepticons? Well, since a little bit of that got inside of you with the whole Egypt thing, I figured that this was as close as I could get to the real thing!

Sam: *looks to Ratchet* Is she crazy?

Ratchet: *makes indifferent noise* Hmm…Technically she is a little bit right…We do not celebrate the same holidays that you humans do. Considering how you all celebrate this 'Mother's Day' I guess that she is correct. Technically.

Me: *still hugging Sam* So you don't have Carrier's Day or anything like that? Shame. If I owned you, I would make something like that. Yep. Mm-Hm.

Ratchet: *gives me a deadpan look* How about you just keep hugging Samuel and stop pestering me with your questions and comments. Maybe chase a shiny thing or two.

Me: Okay! *squeezes Sam until his face turns blue* Hugging first, chasing later!

Sam: *gasps* Ratchet….Help…No…Oxygen…Help…

* * *

><p><strong>266. Godzilla is not Ratchet's fault.<strong>

(Bored Sideswipe and Sunstreaker + Netflix = Chaos.)

(Last week they watched 'Godzilla' and had flipped out.)

(Not in the bad way, but in the mischievously-giggling-like-little-schoolgirls way.)

(They immediately downloaded the movie and sent it to Prowl for him to watch.)

(Prowl, being the stickler for order and rules that he is, totally flipped out as well.)

(But in the bad way.)

(Prowl stormed down to Wheeljack's lab faster than Knock Out runs away from pigeons in a park.)

(He thought that Wheeljack had been experimenting again, had lost control of one of his creations, and now it was storming around in Japan somewhere, wrecking havoc and breathing fire.)

(Poor Wheeljack had no idea what Prowl was shouting at him about and had sent out of ping for help when he couldn't calm the mech down enough to get a coherent sentence out of him.)

(Optimus had to be called in and when that didn't solve anything, Ratchet was summoned…and was requested to bring a sedative with him.)

(Prowl had really been stressing out lately; maybe the sedative that Ratchet had sticking out of an Energon line in his aft will help calm him down a bit so he can relax.)

(Sunny and Sides are still giggling about Godzilla…and maybe about seeing Prowl drugged out of his processor…)

(I mean…I'm still giggling as well. And Sam's video recording Prowl's every move in case something YouTube-worthy happens.)

**267. Poisonous organisms are not to be used as a prank.**

(Where did Optimus get the chalkboard, I mean really.)

(He's got me in the brig writing out sentences on this chalkboard because he looked up proper punishment methods from a history website and this is what he got.)

(I have to write out "I Will Not Place Poisonous Organisms In Automobiles Of Higher-Ups As A Prank" a hundred times…or until my hand falls off.)

(Ratchet reassured Optimus that it was impossible for my hand to fall off because of writing too much, despite my whines and complaints.)

(All I did was buy a couple tarantulas and snakes from the nearest pet shop and stick them in Galloway's car.)

(I had noticed that I had been neglecting to tour-play with the annoying aft and I didn't want him to feel lonely and forgotten.)

(Primus knows that this is the only attention he gets that doesn't involve sneers or hateful snarks about being dropped on his head as a child…or mean genital names…or recommendations on where to go…)

(I had Mikaela pick the lock on his car door, because she dislikes the guy as much as I do, and we just kinda…scattered the creatures throughout his car.)

(I wonder if he found the baby alligator in his glove compartment…)

(He did find the spiders and snakes and made quite a ruckus, insisting that I be banned from the base forever because I was…well I can't repeat what he called me because there might be children reading.)

(Optimus insisted that my punishment be placed into his servos and that's why I'm stuck down here writing lines.)

(It'd be fine if they weren't playing Justin Beiber music in the background….Leo suggested that as part of my punishment…aft…)

**268. Stop with the Tobuscus. Enough with the Tobuscus.**

(I actually can't get enough of the guy.)

"I CAN SWING MY SWORD!"

(Try playing that song as high as you can on your iPod while swinging around a swimmer Noodle.)

(Some 'Bots will ignore you, others will laugh at you, and others will get so annoyed at the song and the fact that you're beating them on the pede with a noodle that…)

(They grab the freakin' Noodle out of your hands and burn it…then stomp on the ashes.)

(Overkill much Ironhide?)

(And don't get me started on Tobuscus' Literal Trailers.)

(It may be a serious movie trailer or a really violent video game trailer, but Tobuscus finds a way to make any serious thing hilarious.)

(And he does it in song. Double whammy.)

(Assassin Creed trailers have got to be the best.)

(It's the mixture of singing, dramatic sword fights, and murder that really does it for me.)

(Leo watches videos of Tobuscus playing Happy Wheels and Minecraft with me all day, busting a gut laughing.)

(Sam, Mikaela, and the rest of the base really doesn't get why we think he's so funny. And they think his dog is ugly, which is a total lie.)

(Maybe they're PewDiePie fans.)

**269. Do not use Annabelle's cute powers to get what you want.**

(Ironhide is very protective of his little charge.)

(And is also wrapped around her little finger.)

(Which means that if you want something, but Ironhide won't let you have it, go through Annabelle.)

(Her cute little toddler looks can melt the spark of almost any 'Bot at base.)

(Except Prowl. Mech's got a metal rob taped to his back and refuses to loosen up.)

(I tried to get him to smile by showing him blogs of cute baby animal gifs, but I got nothing but a warning for wasting his time.)

(Anyone else is totally won over by Annabelle's looks and the little girl knows it.)

(Lennox is worried about the mischievous and kind of devilish streak that she's starting to show that I had nothing to do in grooming.)

(It wasn't me that convinced Annabelle to give puppy eyes to Ratchet in order to let us eat Moon Pies for breakfast.)

(And it definitely wasn't me that let Annabelle giggle and tab dance around Wheeljack in order to distract him with cute so that I could sneak into his lab and steal a couple of his experimental fireworks.)

(Totally Leo's fault.)

(Am I the only on that's picturing Annabelle when she gets to be in her teen years and all the mayhem she'll cause at school with boys and the like?)

(I think I could cry right now…I'm so proud.)

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><p>Good? Bad? Terrible? Let me know what you think in a review if you have the time! Sorry for the huge spaces between Chapters again. ^^;<p> 


	59. Chapter 59

Hoo-Hah! Another Chapter! To all my new readers: HELLO! I hope that you find this funny and that you actually laugh out loud and not just blow air out of your nose really fast like we all do when we read something amusing on the Internet. :) To all my old readers: Welcome back! Thank you for sticking with this crazy mess of random and I hope that you enjoy this Chapter as much as the others. Imma keep chucking these Chapters out and I hope you enjoy them. :) To the lurkers: Lurk away! :D

Jet the Scourging Microraptor gets all the Credit for Rule #271 with Optimus unknowingly shutting down all other attempts at catch phrases.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #272 with balloons adding a little bit of life to that party in ways that Ratchet doesn't approve of.

Chinagal1 gets all the Credit for Rule #273 with Elita obviously being the 'Bot that wears the robotic pants in the family.

inkdragon13 gets all the Credit for Rule #274 with Ratchet really, _really_ needing to take a break from his work.

**Chinagal1: **Aw dude, I'm sorry that's it's been taking me so long to update this. I'm not having as much free time as I thought I would even though school is over. X( Sorry. I hope that this Chapter makes up for the lack of updates! Feel free to rant, it'll make me update faster because of the guilt! I loved your new Rule though. I can just picture 'Bee's frustration when he finds out that his radio is locked on only the girly pop channels. Justin Beiber and Ke$ha all around! And I'll be sure to look up those lyrics. :) As for your fanfic request, I don't know if I can take on any more projects, I already have enough unfinished Fics as it is ^^; , but I really like your Idea…Think I'd be good at writing that kind of thing? Maybe I'll start one…Any ideas for a title? Or a first subject? X) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :) And for the new Rules. :D

**Sesshykiss13: **Yeah. :) Sorry it took me so long. Love your new Rules, though! Especially the Bra one! XD I can picture Ratchet picking up on sugary snacks with his sensors, but not seeing them, and having to do a search…And having to look in those areas because Willa is determined to get some sugary snacks and the awkward-ness that ensues…Oh my Primus XD Too good! And Kung Fu Panda is definitely not a good movie for the Twins to watch! XD They already think that they're ninjas! XD OOH! I love Supernatural! Why didn't I think of doing a Rule about them before! Thanks for reminding me! About the Avengers Assemble Rule, someone already claimed that one…and it's used in this Chapter…Sorry. ^^; Love the other Rules though! Definitely will use them. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. :) And for the Rules! :D

**Optimus' girl: **The Twins would glitch at the very thought of Prowl pulling a fast one on them! XD At least, I would! XD And I don't think that you want to know where Ratchet gets his drugs…He probably makes them! XD And if Lennox doesn't know about his daughters powers of cute, then he does now! Hopefully he won't use them for the power of evil, like getting out of Ratchet's checkups or something. :) And Ratchet generally hits everyone, humans and 'Bots alike. If you screw up around the Hatchet, prepare to get beaten! Thanks for all the reviews that you've been giving and sorry that I can't respond to them all. It would take a whole page to do that! XD And thanks for the many Rules that you've given me and for reading. :)

**Angel Heart: **Hi! Glad you love the Rules! And that they make you smile! :D Love the new Rule! I can already picture the 'Bots reactions. XD I gotta look up those 'chain reaction puzzles' on YouTube. :) Thanks for that! And thanks for reading and reviewing! Keep on Laughing! :D

Disclaimer:

Sideswipe: Hey Optimus…Can you say the letter 'X' 50 times really fast?

Optimus: I believe I am capable of doing that…*starts to say the letter 'X' a couple times*

Me: *walks in* Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Optimus. No. Don't say that.

Optimus: Why not?

Me: Because Sideswipe is immature and likes to pull dirty little 5-year old pranks on people. Ignore him.

Sideswipe: Aww…You really know how to kill the fun…I make the effort to learn your stupid human jokes and this is how your repay me? Lame.

Me: Whatever.

Sideswipe: I was trying to bond with you and everything because I thought that there was a chance that you could actually own us and I wanted to get to know our future owner better.

Me: Hmm-Mmm…Wait-What? What did you say? Own you? Huh?

Sideswipe: …PSYCHE! Nailed it! You'll never own us! Whoot! *dances out of the room* King of Cybertronian comedy and Human comedy!

Optimus: …I shall be returning to my quarters now…

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><p><strong>271. Only Optimus can have a catch phrase.<strong>

"Roll Out!"

(You can't ask for a cooler catch phrase than that.)

(It's one that Megatron can only dream about.)

(Optimus' catch phrase is so cool that I decided that I had to have one for my own.)

(But I don't have the imagination or the creativity to make my own, so I kinda stole one.)

(When a distress signal came through from some far off city…I put it to use.)

"Autobots Assemble!"

(All of the 'Bots gave me strange looks, Leo cracked up, and Sam just rolled his eyes.)

"Can I be Loki this time? You still have the bits and pieces of your Loki costume that Ironhide smashed…please?"

(I had to tell Loki that he didn't have enough swag to be Loki…he retaliated by saying that I didn't have any swag in the first place.)

(We just sat there and bickered about swag and Loki for the next two minutes before Optimus lost his cool and told us that if we didn't "Assemble" like I suggested, Hollywood would be smashed to smithereens by the 'Cons.)

(But the way Optimus said it...he made it sound way cooler than when I said it…and he wasn't even saying it right…Man...)

(He stole my catch phrase, and it wasn't even mine in the first place, though I might have to warn Optimus not to say the 'Assemble' catch phrase out in public.)

(Copyright and whatever.)

**272. Helium is not for humans.**

(Happy Birthday Annabelle!)

(Actually, it was her birthday a couple days ago, but Lennox was away fighting the 'Cons and had to miss it.)

(So he's making up for it today by throwing her a surprise party today.)

(Sam, Leo, Mikaela, and I all played a part in the party setup, mainly Mikaela and I.)

(Lennox didn't want to be seen checking out My Little Pony Party Decorations from the nearest party store. That was a threat against his manliness.)

(After the party decorations were bought and the party guests that were invited arrived, Sarah brought in the birthday girl and the real fun started.)

(Some Autobots were attending, using their holoforms of course, and were mingling with the attending outside family members.)

(Gifts were given, cake was eaten, and party games were played. All in all, a very normal party.)

(Until the family started heading home, leaving some N.E.S.T guys, holoforms, and teenagers as the only guests present.)

(And you know how teenagers are, they like to experiment and do stupid slag that might be hazardous to their health.)

(It was nothing serious, just a couple helium balloons and a more than willing Leo.)

(He would suck some of the helium out of the balloons and start talking and his voice sounded like he was a chipmunk that was doing drugs.)

(We were all in stitches. Sam joined in and I was nearly wetting myself, I was laughing so hard.)

(Until Ratchet came along and killed the fun…again.)

(He saw what Leo and Sam was doing with the balloons and threw a fit, ranting about how that could 'collapse their lungs and kill them if they weren't careful' and how they were 'completely and horrendously stupid to even think about doing something like that'.)

(The other adults present got a chewing out for not preventing us from being so stupid and so did the other assembled 'Bots.)

(Needless to say, the party kinda died after that…)

**273. Leave Optimus and Elita-1 alone.**

(The great Optimus Prime…has a girlfriend.)

(Or whatever girlfriends are called back in Cybertron.)

(She arrived yesterday and I am totally curious…as is Mikaela.)

(Leo and Sam think it's totally creepy that we're so curious about Optimus' love life, but the Prime is so stiff and secretive about everything that we can't help but be curious!)

(So when Elita-1, Optimus' girlfriend, arrived on Earth yesterday, Mikaela and I kinda agreed to...follow them.)

(It's not stalking unless we get caught.)

(I just wanted to see if Optimus had a goopy-lovey-dovey side like a dude out of a romance movie…maybe he would sweep Elita off her pedes or something.)

(Turns out that Elita is totally B.A. and can totally hold her own against any 'Con that crosses her path.)

(Mikaela and I found this out the hard way.)

(Elita caught on to us spying from the very beginning, Optimus had no idea, bless his innocent spark, and she kind of…_asked_ (i.e. threatened) us to leave her and Optimus alone.)

(She said it with her weapons…all her weapons…pointed at our faces…We listened.)

(Our cover may have been blown when I started singing the 'K-I-S-S-I-N-G' song when Elita and Optimus came into view…)

(I guess we'll never know if Optimus has a lovey-sappy side. I'm not ready to die to find out!)

**274. Ratchet needs the Med Bay. Do not keep him from it.**

(Ratchet may act like a grump, but that's not because he needs to recharge.)

(He just acts like that naturally.)

(At least, that's what Sideswipe keeps telling me, rubbing past dents from Ratchet's wrenches on his helm as he does so.)

(I don't believe him. Sideswipe has lied to me before. Ratchet just needs sleep. Then maybe he'll stop acting like such a grump all the time.)

(Locking him out of his precious Med Bay should solve that problem. If the Medic has nothing to work on, then he'll have nothing better to do than recharge.)

(Turns out that's not the case.)

(The rusty old 'Bot is a persistent one and tried to break down the Med Bay doors when he found them blocked and barricaded.)

(He got in, of course, and then gave me the mother of all lectures when he found out that it was me that locked him out of the Med Bay, totally not caring that I just wanted what was best for him.)

"What if there had been a medical emergency? What if the Decepticons had attacked and someone had sustained serious injuries? How would I have been able to do my job if I was locked out of my workstation?"

(The lecture just kept going on and on and I'm starting to think that locking Ratchet out of the Med Bay was definitely not worth having to sit through all this nagging.)

(But I swear, if Sideswipe comes up to me and starts to say "I told you so", I'm going to let Mojo pee on him.)

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><p>Meh. This is kind of a 'bleh bland' Chapter for me. Not really funny. *shrugs* I'll do better next time, I swear. Feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a review in that rather large box down there. Come on…I know you want to…:p Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	60. Chapter 60

*dodges wet sponges* I have been slapped on the wrist by faithful readers for taking so long to update, and I am now heading off to the Time Out corner. *slinks off* Hopefully you all aren't getting used to the huge aft gaps that I leave in between Chapters! I'll just shut up and let you all read now. Enjoy! :)

Chinagal1 gets all the Credit for Rule #278 with 'playing with your food' taking on a whole new meaning.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #277 with one little television show causing a world of hurt to a person's feels.

Autobot-Blurr221 gets all the Credit for Rules #275 with a little voodoo going a long way.

-random fan- gets all the Credit for Rule #276 with movie + sleep deprivation = a really funny movie watching experience.

**Chinagal1: **Dutch is the sassy assistant to Simmons in the third Transformers live action movie, Dark of the Moon. He's the one always wearing the fancy and colorful suits and really knows how to use a gun. And he's German, I think. I've never really been good with accents. *shrugs* As for your other reviews, you're welcome for using your rule! It's the least that I can do! Thank you for submitting it! :D I used another one of yours in this Chapter. I hope you enjoy it. :) I'll think about doing the Q&A Fic, but between you and me, I think I'm gonna do it. :) Your suggestion was totally epic! Thanks for that! And I'm totally prepared for getting lots of asks. X) Anyhoo, thanks a bunch and I hope you enjoy this update! :D

**Guest: **_love it…_ Glad you do! :D Enjoy this new Chapter and keep on laughing! :D

**Optimus' girl: **I have lots of reviews to respond to of yours! I gotta keep this short! Sorry! Let's get down to it. :) Optimus totally gave the 'evil eye'! XD And you know Elita! She had loads of weapons pointed at her! She hasn't shot at Mearing or Galloway yet…but I think she's dangerously close…Optimus better keep a close optic on her…And the Fallen would make a great daddy to Nemesis Prime! XD They can share evil stories and do evil things together and ohmygoodness I can just see it now! XD About Sam and his families eating habits…I'm not going to tell Hatchet! I don't want Sam sicking (did I spell that right? meh) Bumblebee on me! *shivers* Anyway, I love all the new Rules that you sent in! I'll use them all, I swear. And thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

**TolkienGirl052: **Yay! Well…not at the wetting your pants bit, but at the laughing bit! I'm glad that after so long you're still cracking up because of these Rules. :) Thanks for that! :D As for your suggested Rules, only one of them has been suggested before. The Ironman Rule is already taken, but the others are free! Love the one about running around the base screaming "I'm going on an adventure!" XD I can just picture the Autobots' faces as they watch Sam and Leo running around screaming that. XD The others are good too! And I can think of a couple funny things to do with violins…*mischievous smile* It's true. You can have lots of fun with violins. XD All in all, thanks for the new Rules! I will definitely use them in the future! And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D Keep on laughing! :D

Disclaimer:

Sideswipe: You wouldn't survive a day if you weren't allowed to talk.

Me: *raises eyebrow* What makes you say that?

Sideswipe: *points above Disclaimer* Look at how much you gab away in your monstrously huge A/N or whatever it's called! That's a lot of reading these poor people have to go through!

Me: …Well…They can just skim over it…Or just skip it all together…

Sideswipe: But what if you put something important in all that gab? What if they need to read it because you're addressing them? What if they want to find out if you used their Rule?

Me: Then I guess they'd have to skim carefully.

Sideswipe: Which is basically reading.

Me: Whatever. You're hopeless. Maybe I wouldn't talk so much I had custody over you and your smart-aft mouth.

Sideswipe: *scoffs* Hardly. That'd just give you an excuse to talk more. Chatterbox.

* * *

><p><strong>275. Messing with the processors of Autobots is mean.<strong>

(Admittedly, the prank that Leo had planned out was not the nicest of pranks...kinda creepy actually.)

(I knew this beforehand, but I really wanted to see the reactions of the Autobots, so I helped Leo out a bit.)

(Mikaela, with her ability to sew better than anyone on Earth, helped out.)

(In minutes we had little voodoo look-a-likes of the Autobots lined up on the table where we were working.)

(Leo, with his freaky Boy Scout knowledge, was making little nooses for the dolls and was slipping the heads of the 'Bot dolls into them, effectively stringing them up, pinning little Decepticon tags to the dolls as finishing touches.)

(I was in charge of stringing up the dolls in places that the Autobots would be sure to see.)

(The plan was to make a noose doll for every Autobot and string them up all around the base in order to see what their reaction would be.)

(Sideswipe was the first to find his doll, strung up above where he kept his collection of paints and buffers.)

(He was totally flattered that someone had took the time to make a tiny look-a-like of him – thought he had a secret admirer – and showed the doll off to the rest of the 'Bots.)

(Some had already found their dolls and were questioning their meaning, and the humans that the Autobots had questioned knew right away what the dolls were about when they saw the nooses around the necks of the dolls.)

(The N.E.S.T. guys were shocked and surprised when they saw the dolls, as were the 'Bots when it was explained to them what exactly a noose was and why it was so startling to find the dolls strung up like that.)

(There was madness at the base for a few hours after that, with Autobots running everywhere like chickens with their heads cut off, totally panicking.)

(They thought that Soundwave had snuck into the base or something and had strung up the dolls…and after seeing the Autobots reactions to the dolls…Leo and I are too afraid to confess that it was us that made them instead of Soundwave.)

(I'd like to live, thank you.)

**276. If you're tired…GO TO BED!**

(Tonight was Sam's turn to babysit Annabelle, but I was covering for him while he took Mikaela out on a date.)

(Annabelle had brought over 'Ice Age 4' to watch while I babysat her and did other things. I trusted her not to get into too much trouble if I took my eyes off her for a few minutes.)

(While she was watching the movie, I was studying for finals and exams that I had to take tomorrow, stressing out because of that, and seriously lacking in the sleep department.)

(Energy drinks and coffee are lifesavers.)

(So while I was watching the movie with Annabelle, I was a bit out of it, lack of sleep and whatnot.)

(I found myself laughing throughout the entire film, even at the sad bits.)

(Annabelle didn't know what to make of my strange reactions, so she just kind of laughed along with me, not really understanding how crazy I was at the moment because of my lack of sleep.)

(When Lennox came to pick his daughter up at the end of the day, he found her coloring in a coloring book on the floor while I giggled at the movie credits.)

(A bit worried, Lennox took Annabelle home and called Ratchet up.)

(The medic arrived in record time, took one look at my frazzled, coffee-induced state, and carted me to the Med Bay, where he ordered me to sleep.)

"It's a shame I can't put you humans into emergency stasis like I can Cybertronians…It would be so useful."

(I didn't have the energy, or the guts, to tell Ratchet that knocking a person out with something heavy works just fine.)

(He might have done that to me…)

**277. Leave a person's feels alone. That means you Sam Witwicky.**

(I only have to say one word to either make your brain explode or make you want to grab a pillow and sob uncontrollably for the next fifty years.)

(Supernatural.)

(Sam had recently bought all of the seasons and now I'm obsessed…and my feels have taken a giant whopper of a hit.)

(It's a dang good thing that this show has funny bits to even out the heart-wrenching bits…which seems to be most of the show.)

(Just hearing the song 'Carry On My Wayward Son' makes me want to stop what I'm doing and cry.)

(Thank Primus for all the funny banter.)

-_'Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cake hole.'_

(Bumblebee is quite the music stickler.)

(And Sam can never decide on a station to listen to.)

(His constant channel changing really gets on Bumblebee's nerves sometimes.)

(Eventually, 'Bee just locks his radio and picks his own music to listen to, whether or not Sam likes it.)

(I told 'Bee to use this Supernatural quote the next time that Sam started complaining about the locked radio…and he did.)

(I got a kick out of it…Sam sure didn't.)

-_'That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.'_

(And Leo knows something about getting kicked in the jewels.)

(I don't think a day goes by that doesn't have Leo's nuts getting harmed in some way.)

(Be they electrocuted, shot at, kicked, smacked, or beaten with some heavy object, Leo's nuts basically have a target painted on them for everyone to see.)

(I don't think that Ratchet is the only one that thinks that Leo shouldn't be allowed to reproduce…)

-_All business up front…and party in the back.'_

(Did you know that Lennox used to have a mullet in his younger years?!)

(Sarah brought a couple family photo albums to the base for Annabelle to flip through while Mikaela and I were babysitting her.)

(Mikaela and I couldn't help but look up Lennox and Sarah's high school pictures.)

(Sarah wasn't in this album, but Lennox was, and boy was he a looker!)

(His hair alone! The mullet!)

(I had to make an Ash joke when Lennox got back from patrol with Ironhide.)

(I showed him his high school picture and asked if that hairstyle meant that he kept the party in the back and business in the front.)

(Ironhide didn't get it, but Lennox just gave me a bland and slightly embarrassed look…then asked Ironhide to shoot at me in order to get me to go away.)

(Which 'Hide did…with a smile on his faceplates, the fragger!)

**278. Waffles are food, not weapons.**

(When frozen, waffles have the potential to be cut into the perfect throwing star shapes, and can fly pretty well when tossed ninja star style.)

(And they hurt! Especially when you get the person that you're aiming for in the face.)

(Just ask Galloway. He's the one that I was aiming for.)

(Thanks to some pointers from Sideswipe, my aim has been getting better and better.)

(If the black eye that Galloway is sure to have tomorrow is anything to go by.)

(Who knew that frozen breakfast foods could be so fun!)

(Arcee did kill the moment a bit…)

"I thought that you humans weren't supposed to play with your food?"

(Then she saw me smack Galloway with another waffle-star and she changed her opinion completely.)

(In fact, she's now helping me carve up more waffles for throwing!)

* * *

><p>Good? Bad? Let me know what you think by leaving a review if you have the time! For every review you leave, you get a free customary throwing star waffle! Amaze your friends! Wow your parents! Stun your neighbors! The Throwing Star Waffle! XD If your Rule was used, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! :D<p> 


	61. Chapter 61

I know I haven't responded to any of your reviews, and I feel really bad for that, but I want you to know that I've read them all and I appreciate them IMMENSLY. People were probably giving me the weirdest looks if they were watching me read them, I was smiling that much like a loon. X) Seriously. You all are great. :) I hope you enjoy this new Chapter. Read on!

JinxKatKazama gets all the Credit for Rule #281 with Soundwave using his creepy octopus powers to get rid of pests.

16DarkMidnight80 gets all the Credit for Rule #280 with bickering being fodder for some serious teasing.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #282 with plans for making the Decepticons less cranky being met with rather violent attitudes.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #283 with the annoyances from both fractions teaming up to make one glorious prank.

**Optimus' girl: **XD Well at least the pictures weren't of Lennox during his baby years! You know, naked in the sink and all that! XD I think Lennox would have died of embarrassment! And I think I'd bust a lung from laughing so hard if I heard Skids and Mudflap or Sideswipe and Sunstreaker call Lennox Lt. Mullet behind his back! It has a ring to it! XD As for the dolls, 'Kaela is surprisingly good at sewing things, she just doesn't like to advertise it because she thinks it's a stupid talent, and actually made the dolls. And when _isn't _Ironhide hunting for heads? XD And yeah, gotta avoid Elita and Chromia for a few days. ^^; Loved your Predaking Rule! XD I can see that happening! Poor Predaking…Thanks for that! And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D Hope you enjoy your Rule in this Chapter!

**T.M.D: **I GOT THAT REFERENCE! XD Hoofbump! /) XD And thanks! As for your new Rules, ohmygoodness! Autobots + Circus = Reactions that would be more interesting to watch than the circus itself. I can just see Red Alert getting spooked out by the clowns, paranoid little bugger. And Ratchet would be griping about cotton candy and greasy fair food the entire time they were there. Maybe Annabelle could use her powers of cute to get Ironhide to play pretend circus with her after the show? Maybe make him pretend to be the tiger and her the tiger tamer? XD Either way, the circus rule is great! And the others too! Definitely can't let the 'Bots watch gametime with smosh or play slendertubbies. I can see huge amounts of chaos if they do either! XD And Warm Bodies…a romantic zombie movie…'Sides and Sunny would be in stiches! They wouldn't be able to stop laughing throughout the whole entire thing! Everyone else would either be spooked by the zombies, disgusted by the brains, or coo at the romatic bits...And I'm rambling. :) Love your new Rules! They're really funny! XD And thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Disclaimer:

Me: *reading newspaper with bubble pipe clamped between teeth, blowing bubbles occasionally*

Hot Rod: *walks in* Hey Ratchet? Have you seen my…*spots me* You're not Ratchet.

Me: Why hello Hot Rod. Care to join me for a spot of tea? *flips page of newspaper*

Hot Rod: …No, thank you? Have you seen Ratchet? He's got my polish and I need it.

Me: *blows bubbles out of pipe* Regrettably I have not laid eyes upon Sir Ratchet for quite some time. Perhaps try the Recreational Room?

Hot Rod: …Okay…*starts to walk away, then turns back around* Okay! What's up with you? Why are you acting so…freaky? It's weird!

Me: Why Hot Rod! Control your emotions! I am merely acting in a more 'adult-like' way to garner more respect and what not so as to prove that I am responsible enough to claim ownership of you and your kin. Is it working?

Hot Rod: No. You just look like an idiot. You're acting like one too. It's kind of freaking me out. And what's with the bubbles?

Me: *drops act with a pout* Whatever. It was worth a shot. Ratchet's in the Med Bay, beating the slag outta Sideswipe for taking his wrench collection again. Happy?

* * *

><p><strong>280. Tease Megatron and Starscream at your own peril.<strong>

(Megatron and Starscream can't seem to go one day without bickering.)

(That's all they seem to do is argue.)

(They bicker when they're in the same room, they bicker over their comm. links…I'm willing to bet that they bicker at each other while in recharge.)

(I don't get how the other Decepticons can stand it.)

(I certainly can't, and made that pretty obvious.)

"FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS! SHUT UP! YOU'RE BOTH PRETTY! PRIMUS! YOU BOTH BICKER LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE!"

(I didn't mean to scream it, the earplugs that I was wearing caused me to speak louder than I normally would, but I had certainly gotten the pairs attention.)

(Megatron and Starscream were glaring at me like they wanted to squish me under their pedes, then maybe shoot my remains for good measure.)

(Needless to say, I booked it to the safest spot I could find on the _Nemesis _so I could wait out their anger.)

(None of the other 'Cons were helping. They kept snickering behind Megatron and Starscream's backs; calling them the cutest bonded pair they've ever seen and whatnot.)

(At this rate, I'm going to have to hide out here for at least a year…maybe longer.)

**281. Soundwave is not to be tampered with.**

(A vow of silence…that is just too tempting.)

(No one can keep a vow of silence around me. This was a challenge.)

(But Soundwave looks like a tough customer; I'd have to use every trick in the book to get him to talk.)

(Rubber chickens, super glue, fake vomit, and glitter powder isn't going to cut it with this mech.)

(A couple Vehicons and Eradicons were privy to my pranking plans and immediately tried warning me off of them.)

(They said that Soundwave is definitely not the best mech to mess with.)

(I didn't let their worries deter me and set about trying to get Soundwave to break his supposed vow.)

(Everything I did was a dud-all I managed to do was tire myself out-so I resorted to plan B.)

(Target his work and/or Laserbeak.)

(I rigged Soundwave's computer to play 'Nyan Cat' constantly and switched around all of his files, replacing some of them with cute puppy pictures and LOLcats.)

(Soundwave ignored my pestering for about an hour before he couldn't take it any longer.)

(Annoying him was one thing, but messing with his work gets you blacklisted in his book.)

(He came at me, creepy tentacles waving around and snapping, before I realized just how much danger I was in and ran behind Breakdown for protection.)

(Breakdown was no help at all! He even stepped out of the way so that Soundwave could get to me!)

(I can't really blame the mech. Soundwave isn't someone that you want to get on the wrong side of…hanging upside down from one of his tentacles, I understand that now.)

**282. Cons do not require "Cuddle Buddies".**

(When I was little, I always had to have a stuffed animal to sleep with.)

(If I didn't, I would never get any sleep, and would be cranky and grumpy the next day.)

(I figured that that was what the 'Cons needed, a little buddy for them to recharge with. Then maybe they wouldn't be so crabby all the time.)

(So I ran to the nearest dollar store and bought all the stuffed animals that I could find and presented them to the 'Cons.)

(Megatron took immediate offense to my plan and wanted nothing to do with it. Starscream as well.)

(Breakdown thought that some of the toys were cute and picked out a stuffed puppy to recharge with.)

(Knock Out thought that my plan was a load of hooey, but after some cajoling from his partner, picked out a stuffed kitty cat in order to appease him.)

(The Vehicons and Eradicons, however, loved plan. They immediately picked out several animals to make their own.)

(The only fuddy-dud was Soundwave. He wouldn't even look at the animals that I had brought, even ordered Laserbeak to shred any animal that I presented to him.)

(Finally, I had to take drastic measures.)

(I sent a couple Eradicons out to several different stores around town and ordered them to buy as many stuffed toys as they could fit in their trunks.)

(Later, I took all their purchases and stuffed them all in Soundwave's berth room…and waited.)

(The sound of shredding cotton was more sinister than it should have been.)

**283. Collaborating with the Autobots if frowned upon.**

(At least I wasn't betraying the Decepticons' location or anything like that. I just wanted some opinions on some movies.)

(I was planning on having a movie night at on the _Nemesis_ and I wanted to know which movies would be good to show.)

(Judging by the mischievous snickers and smirks that the Lambo Twins were sharing, I picked the right 'Bots to ask.)

(With the meeting over and the movies picked out, all I had to do was set up the projector and call in the 'Cons.)

(Most of them declined, or in Megatron' case, cursed and insulted, my plan and invitations, but a couple 'Cons showed up.)

(Most of them were Vehicons and Eradicons, but some officers showed up as well. Knock Out and Breakdown included.)

(Starscream claimed that my plan was stupid, but stuck around to see the first few minutes of the movie anyway.)

(And what a first few minutes it was.)

(I had picked out 'Piranha 3-D' and 'Attack of the Killer Crocs' as my movie choices and the gory bloody bits were really having an effect on the movie watchers.)

(Knock Out seemed fascinated with the blood and gore that was splashing about on the screen while his partner flinched and covered his optics at every attack.)

(Most of the Vehicons and Eradicons were cowering amongst themselves and holding one another for comfort.)

(Starscream just looked disgusted.)

"Just how violent can this wretched plant _get_?"

(I chuckled to myself. Just wait until he saw the robotic crocodiles and piranhas that Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had provided me with as a prank tool.)

(Maybe I can make Starscream live up to his designation with this prank.)

* * *

><p>Figured it's been awhile since I picked on the 'Cons. So I made another all 'Con Chapter. :) Hope you enjoyed it! And if you spotted any grammarspelling mistakes, please point them out to me! I tend to skim faster than I should and miss annoyingly simple mistakes. Thanks for reading! :D


	62. Chapter 62

I swear to Chuck, Zeus, Primus, and any other deity that you can think of that I didn't mean to go this long without updating…and I promised a couple people that I would update last Friday…but that didn't happen and now I feel like a giant scrapheap. ;n; I am so sorry. I honestly don't mean to go this long without updating. And I'm sorry for not responding to all of your wonderful reviews! Now that I have access to Wi-Fi almost 24/7 because of school I should get better about that. I swear on the River Styx *thunder rumbles in distance*

Kurohane Ookami gets all the Credit for Rule #284 with Prowl getting one-upped by a llama.

Inkdragon13 gets all the Credit for Rule #285 with Wheeljack helping humans annoy his Autobot brethren…again.

TheChippedCup gets all the Credit for Rule #287 with outdoor activates being a really, _really _bad idea.

DoctorWhoRulez gets all the Credit for Rule #288 with note passing reaching a whole new level…of awkward.

TolkienGirl052 gets all the Credit for Rule #289 with Tolkien references not going over well.

**Chinagal1: **No! Nothing drastic! I just kind of dropped off the face of the Earth for a bit. ^^; It also doesn't help that I have the attention span of a squirrel…^^; But I'm updating now! Hopefully things will go back to the way they were with updates every week or so, but don't hold me to that!

**nightbird1001: **Thank you! :D :D I'm glad that you enjoy it! :D And I have to agree with you on it being more fun to make the Decepticons glitch. X) Occasionally I make Chapters dedicated just to making them glitch, so you'll have to watch out for those in the future! :) I hope you enjoy them as much as the others! :) Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Keep on laughing!

**Guest: **_Force the autobots and… _OuO I don't know what this Gummy Bear song is…but I'm going to find out! Thanks for the new Rule mysterious Guest!

**Guest:**_I know right? Doritos… _They are! I mean, seriously! God…Sometimes it just makes you wanna sic Mojo on them. See how much he'd be screaming and yelling when he gets dog pee all over his fancy chicken feet. XD Thanks for the review. :)

**Guest: **_OMG I love HAMTARO… _Yes! That show was so cute! I loved all the different hamsters and their little adventures and the show was just adorable! 0n0 And now it's gone…There is YouTube though…I wonder if they have old Hamtaro episodes…Guess what I'm going to be doing tonight! XD Anyhoo, thanks for the review. X)

Disclaimer:

Wheelie: This new obsession of yours is getting kind of creepy…

Me: *is drawing anti-possession sigil on arm* Why would you say that?

Wheelie: Doc 'Bot says that when humans start 'defacing their epidermal layers in…artistic ways' that's when we need to start worrying.

Me: Hmm…I wonder how Ratchet'd feel about Sam's new tattoo...And besides, I'm just doodling. You're just jealous that I like this 'Supernatural' show more than you.

Wheelie: *pretending not to be worried* I got no reason to be worried, 'cause you don't.

Me: *smirks* That's what you'd like to think.

Ratchet: *walks in and throws wet washcloth at me* I know you're lying. I can smell it. And wash that, whatever that is, off. Now. *walks out*

Me: *grabs washcloth and grumbles* Doesn't get art...*pauses* And what'd he mean 'smell it'?

Wheelie: *shakes helm* Jus' say you don't own us and let's get on with this mess.

* * *

><p><strong>284. Sticky fingered teens should stay out of petting zoos.<strong>

(Prowl is so fun to mess with. His OCD attitude just makes it easier.)

(We have this little game going on at the base that involves anyone who's under the age of 20.)

(The point of the game is to get Prowl as frazzled as possible without actually making him glitch.)

(So far, it's Leo that holds the crown. His cute little llama prank has been pretty hard to beat.)

(Without telling anyone, he snuck out of the base and raided the nearest petting zoos for the most exotic animal that he could find.)

(I thought he'd find something like a zebra or a wildebeest…What he found was a llama.)

(Leo brought that llama all the way back to base and stored it in Prowl's quarters for the stiff mech to find.)

(And find he did! His surprised shout woke everyone up the next morning.)

(It was pretty funny watching Prowl run around his room, digit to his helm, trying to research ways of wrangling llamas without hurting them.)

(The fact that he was a giant metal skyscraper wasn't helping much…Prowl could have picked up the poor creature and squished it between two digits like a gnat if he wanted to.)

(That is…if Prowl actually managed to catch the llama. Every time Prowl thought that he had the beast cornered, it would kick and squirm out of his grip and scamper away.)

(It was hilarious to watch, but eventually Prowl stopped concerning himself over the llama's safety and considered shooting the thing in order to catch it.)

(That's when Lennox and his men stepped in, successfully roping the llama and dragging it out of the base.)

(Prowl was more angry than frazzled when the llama was successfully removed from the premises. Leo changed all that when he poked his head into the room asking what smelled like poop.)

(Turns out the llama had a little accident while it was running around…You should have seen Prowl's facial spasms!)

**285. Some humans were not meant to fly.**

(Wheeljack loves to push the boundaries of human nature.)

(He thinks that humans are so restricted, not being able to fly or change our shapes like they can.)

(So he does his best to make inventions to help us break those restrictions.)

(Jetpacks for example, or as I like to call them, Jackpacks.)

(Sam thought they were bad-aft, and he was right, it's just that, taking into account all of the other inventions that Wheeljack had made, these jetpacks didn't seem too safe.)

(But leave it to Sam and Leo to totally ignore that and jump into those Jackpacks faster than Sideswipe jumps into a car wash after being touched by…well anything really.)

(Mikaela and I could only watch as Sam and Leo powered up the Jackpacks and tried them out, but it seemed like we had nothing to worry about.)

(They flew like a dream and soon enough, Sam and Leo were doing aerial tricks, buzzing around Wheeljack's helm as they tested the Jackpack's boundaries.)

(There were a couple other boundaries that they were testing as well…Ironhide's patience for example…)

(They would fly around his helm and shout things at him, hoping to rile him up, and it worked.)

(Eventually 'Hide got sick of the two bothering him and starting using them like targets, shooting and swatting at them like the bothersome flies that they were to him.)

(That in itself was pure gold, watching Ironhide whirl around and swat at Sam and Leo like he was half crazed.)

(Thank Primus for video cameras…And YouTube.)

**286. Make clear the difference between 'Cereal' and 'Serial'.**

(First it was a plastic knife wedged in Leo's box of Cocoa Puffs.)

(Then a butter knife plunged into Sam's Lucky Charms.)

(Mikaela's Cheerios were next on the hit list with a small pocket knife poking out of the bag.)

(Everyone was curious as to why their favorite breakfast cereals were being targeted, but no one really took any action against the attacker.)

(That was, until Lennox's Raisin Bran had a medium sized steak in it, nearly cutting the box in half, causing most of the cereal in the box to spill onto the floor.)

(Lenox lost it. He loves that old man cereal, despite the teasing it gets him.)

(He threw his ruined cereal box down on the floor and shouted, right in the middle of the Mess Hall,)

"Alright! We've got a cereal killer on our hands! Anyone who knows the identity of this killer better fess up right now or else! Someone owes me a friggin' box of Raisin Bran!"

(Ironhide immediately took the threat seriously, researching what exactly a 'cereal killer' was before completely shutting down the base to start his manhunt.)

(Too bad his results pulled up 'serial killers' instead of the comedic and less harmful 'cereal killers'.)

(Ironhide currently has the base at Defcon: Apocalypse and isn't letting anyone out of his sight, thinking that anyone could be the killer.)

(He's taken away all electronic devices and anything that could be used as a weapon…including pens and hair clips.)

(Thanks Primus I had the sense to stuff my phone down in a place where I knew Ironhide wouldn't dare search…How else could I message for help?!)

(No, really, HELP!)

**287. You many think camping is a good idea…It's not.**

(Never, I repeat, NEVER, take the Autobots camping.)

(Lennox said it would be a great experience for the 'Bots. They'd get a real feel for nature and all, plus use teamwork to really bond with one another.)

(Hound was all for it, being all 'naturey' and stuff.)

(The others...not so much...)

(And by others, I mean Wheeljack.)

(He almost cried when Ironhide had to drag him away from his lab, kissing every piece of equipment and invention as he left.)

(I thought he'd get over it once we got to our campsite, but of course, he was whining and trying to make little 'machines' out of branches and mud.)

(And that was only the beginning.)

(We had reserved the spot for a week, which Lennox, Sam, and I seriously regret right now. Wheeljack had a total fit once he heard that, and we caught him trying to sneak away in the middle of the night.)

(But then Ironhide started acting up.)

(He said this camping trip reminded him of some survival camp or something back on Cybertron, then ripped up our tents, hid all of the equipment, and said it was "every mech for himself".)

(Ironhide hid himself in a cave, blasting everyone who came within range. Optimus kinda just sat there, shaking his helm at everyone. Ratchet said we were all crazy and managed to drive home without Ironhide getting him. Wheeljack was nowhere to be seen.)

(Then we found out about the booby-traps.)

(I was out trying to find some nuts or whatever, when I saw Sideswipe and Sunstreaker all the way down in a hole. Ironhide had drug pitfalls around his cave.)

(On the last day of our little 'trip', I was running away from a crazed Wheeljack with his newly made 'nut-bombs', Sunny and 'Sides were still stuck down in the pitfall, the N.E.S.T guys had to be called to come and knock Ironhide out, Sam was covered in poison ivy, and Lennox was just sitting beside Optimus...staring off into space.)

(I'll never forget those exploding acorns...)

**288. Stop using the Cybertronian language to your advantage.**

(Did you know that Sam still remembers how to read and write in Cybertronian after that little Egypt fiasco?)

(Did you know that I totally used this to my advantage to wreck some havoc at the base?)

(I'd bribe Sam with Twinkies to write something really embarrassing and intimate on a scrap piece of paper.)

(Then I walked up to a 'Bot with my 'innocent-don't-fear-me' face, say that someone left me a note in Cybertronian, then ask them to read it for me. Out loud.)

(Of course the 'Bot that I would pick would be somebot with a giant telephone pole bolted to their backs…like Ratchet or Optimus for example.)

(Ratchet got a note that said, "You're booty-liscious" while Optimus had one that said, "I wuv being a snuggle wuggle teddy bear".)

(Don't ask me how those sentences translated into Cybertronian, all I know was that it was HILARIOUS to hear Optimus and Ratchet read their notes…especially Optimus.)

(Elita thought it was pretty dang funny too, even gave Optimus an affectionate peck on the faceplates as he stood there, looking all awkward and uncomfortable after reading his note.)

(That got an 'awww' out of me, but that's when Elita found out that I was still hanging around and started firing at me.)

(Primus! If she wanted to be alone with the Big O, all she had to do was say so! Not start shooting at me!)

**289. You are not 'Going on an adventure'.**

(Why is it that I'm the only Tolkien nerd at the base?)

(No one else seems to like the movies and books like I do and they never get the movie references when I say them.)

(So when I came to the base the next morning after staying up all night to watch 'The Hobbit', no one understood what I was saying.)

(I kept running around the base shouting, "I'm going on an adventure!" whenever people asked me how I was doing or what my plans were for the day.)

(Eventually people figured I was on one of my fan-benders again and just stopped talking to me for the rest of the day.)

(At least Sam played along for a bit, using a quote that he remembered from the first Lord of the Rings movie.)

(I had tried to run past him while shouting about my adventure, when he jumped up in front of me, arms out, shouting,)

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

(He scared the living slag out of me, making me stumble backwards in my shock and fall on my butt.)

(And of course that's when Galloway decided to walk in, sneer and all, commenting about how maybe there wouldn't need to be so many health and safety meetings if idiots like us weren't running around.)

(Sam and I just glared at Galloway. It's better not to encourage the jerk.)

(It's a shame that we can't feed him to Smaug…)

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><p>There we go! I wouldn't be able to update tomorrow, so I figured I'd just update today. X) Reviews, I just wanna warn you all, won't be answered until Tuesday because of lack of WiFi, BUT THEY WILL BE ANSWERED! I promise! Thanks for reading! See you next Chapter! ;)<p> 


	63. Chapter 63

See? I kept up with my promise! Another Chapter! :) Hope you enjoy, and if your Rule is in this Chapter, I hope it's to your liking. :) If you're still waiting for your Rule to get in here, be patient! I promise that I'll use it! Pinkie swear! :) P.S. Still working on responding to reviews. I've responded to most, if not all, but if I haven't responded to yours yet, I shall respond to it. :)

Inkdragon13 gets all the Credit for Rule #290 with the wrath of Jazz being scarier than checkups from Ratchet.

Autobot StarRacer gets all the Credit for Rule #291 with Ironhide being a sensitive little girl when teased about certain things.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #294 with Irohide's new catchphrase being 'Gotta squish 'em all!'

Aurrawings gets all the Credit for Rule #292 with Ratchet getting a lot more appreciation for doing his job.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #293 with T.V. + Red Alert = one glitching mess of panic.

Disclaimer:

Me: Hey Sideswipe? Wanna hear a joke?

Sideswipe: *shrugs* If it's any good. The sense of humor that you humans have can be pretty dull sometimes.

Me: Shut up. 'How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning?'

Sideswipe: How?

Me: 'You Poker face!' Get it?

Sideswipe: ….I don't get it. *waves off my joke* That was lame. Here. I got a better one for you. Wanna hear a good joke?

Me: Sure.

Sideswipe: You owning us! Hah! *rolls out*

Me: *shouts after him* Jerk!

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><p><strong>290. Do not purposely make Jazz angry.<strong>

(Jazz is such a mellow dude, I don't think that anything can make him angry.)

(Leave it to Leo to really try and push that.)

(He bet Sam ten bucks that he couldn't get Jazz mad at him.)

(Sam, being the poor college student that he is, couldn't pass up the chance at winning money and took the bet.)

(Now he's been tailing Jazz all day, doing his best to make the mech mad.)

(He insulted his choice in music, his dance moves, and his alt mode.)

(I thought that Jazz would just ignore Sam, maybe just shake his insults off and get on with his day, but the exact opposite happened.)

(Sam actually succeeded in getting Jazz mad at him! He was angry and everything! I never thought that I'd see that emotion on Jazz's faceplates! I was witness to history!)

(Ratchet walked in just as Jazz was stomping out in an angry rage, raised a questioning optic ridge, and asked what was wrong.)

(I fessed up, telling Ratchet all about the bet and what Sam had to do in order to win…and how he actually succeeded.)

(Ratchet was shocked that we had purposely set out to make Jazz mad, and not for the reason that you might think.)

(Apparently Jazz's anger is worse than Ironhide and Ratchet's rolled up into one and multiplied by twenty.)

(I didn't believe Ratchet, but the next day I saw that he was telling the truth…It was like Jazz was a completely different person!)

(He was stomping around everywhere, blaring heavy metal rock music as loud as his speakers possibly could, and glaring at anyone that got in his way.)

(I'm surprised that his visor didn't melt the way he was glaring at people…)

(Ratchet said the only way to get the old Jazz back was to host a surprise disco party and bring out the Energon…get Jazz as over-energized as possible.)

(Turns out that it doesn't take much Energon to get Jazz over-energized. The mech was gyrating on the dance floor, back to his old self in microseconds.)

**291. Do not make fun if Ironhide's cannons.**

(Not even as a joke!)

(He's way too sensitive about them.)

(Even the littlest tease about them makes him flip out.)

(And trust me, you don't want to see Ironhide flipped out…it's terrifying.)

(But you should have been there when Ironhide was teased.)

(Lennox was bringing in the new N.E.S.T recruits to meet the Autobots for the first time, and I could tell that some of the new guys were really nervous.)

(Others, though, were just pain cocky.)

(After the new guys were introduced to the assembled 'Bots, this one guy had the nerve to walk right up to Ironhide and ask if the size and number of cannons he had was 'compensating for something'.)

(I think my jaw dropped, along with just about everyone else's at base. I think even Optimus was surprised, if the rising of his optic ridges was anything to go by.)

(As for Ironhide, he just stood there, staring at the insolent solider for a few seconds before whipping out a couple of his larger cannons and pointing them at his face, pulling the 'Dirty Harry' card for all that it was worth.)

(Needless to say, the solider stood down, and was later thoroughly chewed out by Lennox and Epps, but the damage was already done.)

(Ironhide spent the rest of the day in his quarters, polishing and cleaning his cannons till they shone, not speaking to anyone, not even Optimus.)

(Ratchet said that 'Hides ego was hurting and he simply needed to be cheered up a bit, so they called in Chromia to try and cheer up the poor weapons specialist.)

(Whatever she did worked, because soon enough Ironhide was back out of his room, acting like nothing ever happened.)

(Who knew such a rough and tough mech like Ironhide could be so sensitive about his appearance?)

**292. Appreciate Ratchet as your Medic.**

(Maybe I'd appreciate him more if the grouchy mech wasn't so…cold all the time.)

(He's always so grumpy and grouchy all the time. And the way that he gives checkups…Brr!)

(Why do you think everyone has to be drug, kicking and screaming, to the Med Bay for their checkups?)

(So when mine rolled around, I was desperate to get out of it somehow.)

(I was discussing possible escape tactics with Wheeljack when the inventor piped up with news that was new to me…and possibly lifesaving.)

"You know, I dabbled a bit in the Medical field back on Cybertron…I could give you a checkup instead of Ratchet if you wanted me to."

(I practically screamed 'yes' at the inventor, agreeing to meet him at his lab tomorrow for my checkup.)

(When I got there the next day, what I saw kind of made me want to change my mind and go back to Ratchet.)

(Surgical tools were strewn all about the place, beakers with unknown substances were placed on the lab table, and various monitors were beeping sinisterly in the background.)

(If Frankenstein's lab and an alien's torture chamber had a baby, it would have been Wheeljack's Lab…)

(Just as I was going to turn tail and run for Ratchet, Wheeljack walked in all cheery.)

(He had a surgical mask over his faceplates and a very sinister looking syringe in his servo.)

(I nearly fainted right there, but thank Primus I didn't! Who knows what Wheeljack would have done to me while I was unconscious!)

(Probably would have injected me with the bird flu to see if I'd turn into a chicken or something!)

**293. Explain commercials to Red Alert.**

(I really need to learn that T.V. and Red Alert do not mix.)

(The poor mech just doesn't understand human culture sometimes. It tends to freak him out.)

(Red is already frazzled and stressed out as it is. The last thing he needs is to be confused even more.)

(But I just had to go and let him watch T.V.)

(The show itself wasn't bad, just 'How It's Made', because that seems to calm the mech down, watching stuff get built and pieced together, but I didn't account on the commercials being so strange.)

(Most of them were fine, just your average compilation of 'Life Alert commercials, restaurant ads, medical disease informers, car company advertisements, and movie trailers.)

(But this one Pepsi commercial…the one with the dancing baby? Yeah, it really freaked Red Alert out.)

(Red isn't too educated about humans and their development, but I think he understood us enough to know that a baby shouldn't be breakdancing like it was in the commercial.)

(His reaction was to flip out a bit, then desperately try to get my attention, squawking out questions about the baby and asking how it was possible for it to be dancing like that.)

(But see, I wasn't really paying attention to Red. He flips out about the smallest things, so people just generally ignore his spazz attacks unless he's screaming bloody murder.)

(Sort of like the little boy that cried 'Wolf' too many times….except with giant metal robots.)

(This time I should have paid attention to the frazzled mech, because in seconds, Red was on the floor, glitching.)

(I had to call Ratchet, get chewed out by Ratchet, and have my television privileges taken away from me for a whole month because of that little commercial.)

**294. Pokémon…Really?**

(That's what Sam said to me when he found about Wheeljack's latest invention.)

(Haters gonna hate, but I'm still totally into Pokémon. Leo is too.)

(I mean, what's not to like about cute little creatures that have the potential to utterly destroy a large city?)

(So when I asked Wheeljack to make me my very own Pokémon, he agreed, saying that he was bored anyway.)

(I didn't really have a preference as to what Pokémon he made, just so long as it wasn't one of the big ones like Snorlax or Zapdos.)

(What Wheeljack presented me with was the cutest Vulpix that I have ever seen in my entire life. And this one was alive and breathing!)

(I don't think I stopped hugging it for a full minute, repeatedly thanking Wheeljack and taking back anything bad that I ever said about him.)

(Leo was impressed too, and for a few minutes, I got to parade around the base showing off my cute new pet.)

(But, as always, Wheeljack's creations took on a sour note.)

(I really should have seen this coming. I mean, come on. Pocket monster that has the power to shoot flames out of its mouth?)

(All I'm saying is that I really shouldn't have been surprised when the Vulpix went crazy on me and started lighting up the base, setting more than a couple people on fire in its rampage.)

(Sadly, my Vulpix had to be put down in an effort to stop its rampage…and when I say put down, I mean totally blown to pieces by Ironhide.)

(Then stepped on for good measure.)

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><p>Hope you enjoyed this Chapter and thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a review telling me what you think if you have the time. :) See you all next Chapter! :D<p> 


	64. Chapter 64

*runs in, throws Chapter at you all, and runs out before the hordes of hungry, rabid, chinchillas can be sic'd on me* Sorry! Don't kill me!

Link's Rose gets all the Credit for Rule #298 with Wheeljack really setting a record for the destroying of his inventions.

anonomon gets all the Credit for Rule #296 with Sunstreaker being a whiny little sparkling when it comes to teasing.

elita13 get all the Credit for Rule #299 with revenge causing mass panic among the vain.

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rule #297 with illegal smuggling going on at the base…but not of drugs.

Disclaimer:

Ironhide: *drives up beside you* Hey! Let me help! *pulls his potato gun out of subspace and shoots at me* I'll help you get her!

Sideswipe: *rolls up* You all are throwing things at the authoress? I want to help! Give me something to throw! *is handed a carton of Peeps* What the…? *shrugs* I'll take what I can get. *starts pelting me with Peeps*

Wheelie: I can help too! *starts shooting at me* This is the most fun I've had in weeks!

Me: Wah! Guys! What the frag! *is dancing around, frantically trying to avoid getting hit* Stop!

Ironhide: No. You deserve this!

Sideswipe: *still throwing Peeps* What'd she do?

Ironhide: She's gone forever without updating her fanfictions, has barely responded to any reviews, and claims to own us!

Me: Nu-uh! Well…The first two…But not the second! I don't own the Transformers! Promise!

Ratchet: *walks by* What are you all doing? Punishing the authoress again?

Me: *still dodging* RATCHET! HELP!

Ratchet: *looks at Ironhide and Sideswipe, at me, then shrugs* Carry on. *walks off*

Me: *sees Ironhide's evil grin and pales* RATCHET! NOOOOOO! SAVE ME!

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><p><strong>295. Tumblr is a hindrance, not a help.<strong>

(And was also made by the procrastination devil.)

(2 main reasons why are as follows…)

1: Endless scrolling = JUST SAY NO!

(You sit yourself down, planning to get some work done, but decide to check your Tumblr account real quick before you start.)

(You're probably thinking something along the lines of "I'll just look at a few pages of posts, then I'll start on my homework. I swear."

(WRONG!)

(With endless scrolling, you don't have 'pages' anymore! You can just scroll on into infinity!)

(Which means that you'll still be looking at Tumblr posts when the Autobots come in to check on your progress three hours after you first sat down.)

(You will have gotten no work done and will have angered the Hatchet in the process, which will have earned you a solid whack from the Wrench 'O Doom.)

2: Just because all of Tumblr is 'raving about the show' is not an excuse to watch said show.

(Ironhide said it was like watching lemmings jumping off a cliff.)

(I don't see it that way. If not for Tumblr, then I would have never seen shows like 'Sherlock' or 'Supernatural'.)

(All those posts with gifs from the show really got me curious…I wanted to know why so many feels were getting hurt.)

(8 Seasons of 'Supernatural' and 6 Episodes of 'Sherlock' later…I understood everything.)

(I am now one of those bloggers that reblogs the slag out of anything that has to do with 'Supernatural' or 'Sherlock'…And Ironhide is so disappointed.)

(He calls me 'Lemming' now…But I don't care.)

(One look at Jensen Ackles or Benedict Cumberbatch...I REGRET NOTHING!)

**296. 'Barbie Girl' is an annoying song. Stop singing it.**

(The original reason that this song is banned wasn't even my fault.)

(It was all Leo's fault! He was the one that was overplaying the song!)

(…And dancing to it…Eugh.)

(All that just put the song on…'probation'. What got the song actually banned was me playing the song at certain moments.)

(For example, when a certain prissy yellow Lambo walked past, I blared that song as loud as my iPod would let me.)

(I thought Sunny'd take the song as a compliment…Not so much.)

(Since chasing me down and squishing me under pede was out of the question, those pesky we-don't-hurt-humans-what-is-it-with-you Rules, he had to resort to Plan B.)

(Tracking Optimus and Prowl down and whining/complaining like no tomorrow.)

(Which PO'd Prowl and exasperated Optimus and just stressed everybody out.)

(Which resulted in 'Barbie Girl' getting banned...Because Sunstreaker is a whiner baby.)

**297. Undergarments are not to be used to hide contraband.**

(Calm down. I'm not talking illegal drugs here.)

(I'm talking chocolate bars and coffee.)

(With Halloween getting closer and closer, the Hatchet is really cracking down on the 'NO CANDY.' Rule which means that we all have to be super sneaky when it comes to our sugar fixes.)

(In my opinion, the guys lucked out. Girls instantly have a way to sneak candy into the base.)

(Just…tuck a couple bars of chocolate into your bra…Instant hiding spot.)

(Seems kinda gross…but you have no idea what it's like to be deprived to chocolate…It's worse than Chinese water torture…)

(Ratchet's customary candy searches every morning involved a through checking pockets and a pat-down to check undershorts, but not upper undergarments.)

(Sam and Leo are jealous. Especially when Mikaela and I start eating our candy bars in front of them.)

(They were so desperate, that they actually offered to pay us cash money if we snuck in an extra candy bar for them tomorrow.)

(Who am I to pass up on money? The only bad thing was that Leo and Sam weren't the only guys that wanted me to sneak in some candy.)

(At least half of the base knew about the secret candy smuggling that Mikaela and I were doing and wanted in.)

(They offered us $20 for each bar of chocolate!)

(Turns out Ratchet found out about our smuggling plan before we could even try it, making sure to add a small x-ray to his usual pat down for banned foods.)

(I would bet any money that it was Galloway who tattled.)

(The little aft was just mad that Mikaela and I refused to sneak any candy in for him.)

**298. Robotic clones are royally creepy.**

(Who wouldn't want to bring their favorite characters to life?)

(Granted, it wasn't _life_ per se that they were being brought too…They were just robots…Not actual hedgehogs and foxes.)

(But it was still really cool to see Sonic, Tails, Shadow, and Knuckles walk out of Wheeljack's lab.)

(Wheeljack was going to make his latest invention, robot clones, into something mundane and plain-jane like animals.)

(I convinced him to go one step further and make them into characters from Sonic…still technically animals…just much, much cooler.)

(And they had all the powers that they would have had in the video games! Totally cool!)

(…If the clones actually turned out to work…)

(They rebelled not even five seconds after being brought online, totally trashing the place with their Wheeljack-granted skills.)

(Wheeljack and I tried to catch them before word got out about the inventor's latest screw-up, but the clones were way too fast to catch or corral.)

(Which meant that Ironhide had to be called in for a little target practice…)

(The weapons specialist took it as a personal challenge to see how many clones he could shoot in under twenty seconds.)

(What a way for Shadow and Sonic to go out…Blown to scrap metal…)

(At least these inventions weren't stepped on this time like the last one...)

**299. It is not possible for Autobots to go bald.**

(Paint thinner is a blessing from Primus.)

(I still had to get revenge against Sunstreaker for getting the 'Barbie Girl' song banned. The only logical way to do that was to pull a prank.)

(The first park of my epic revenge prank involved buying as much paint thinner as I could find.)

(Secondly, I had to enlist an Autobot to sneak me into Sunny and Sides' washracks and help me switch Sunny's 'beauty products' out with the paint thinner, making sure to place everything back in its original spot so as not to raise suspicion.)

(I made sure to wear gloves during this whole operation, leaving no evidence behind for Sunny to find. Everyone knows how sadistic he can be when it comes to his paint and finish.)

(And really…I'm not being entirely truthful when I say that I left no evidence behind. I left evidence…It just wasn't mine…Galloway should learn not to leave his hairbrush lying around for people to find.)

(With the setup complete, all I had to do was sit back and wait for the magic to happen.)

(I didn't have to wait long.)

(Barely five minutes had gone by before Sunstreaker's bloodcurdling shriek was echoing around the base.)

(Barely anyone reacted, Sunstreaker screams at the littlest things, but they sure did jump into action when Sideswipe started screaming too.)

(Every 'Bot and human available was booking it to the Terror Twin's berthroom. When they got there, they were met with a rather hilarious sight.)

(Both Twins were standing in the middle of the hallway, dripping wet, with looks of bloody murder on their faceplates.)

(As for their paint…let's just say that it's going to take more than one coat to get it looking like it used to…)

(After Prime asked what was wrong, Sunstreaker stepped forward and pointed a menacing digit at Galloway, just as I planned.)

"This…This...THIS LITTLE FRAGGER DID THIS! MY PAINT! I'M BALDING JUST LIKE HE IS! HE'S OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS OF MY BEAUTIFUL PAINT JOB! I'M GOING TO SQUISH YOU, HUMAN!"

(It took several mechs to tackle Sunny and Sides' in order to prevent them from terminating Galloway, who had no idea what was going on. Later on, Galloway was forced to present both Twins with new cans of paint as an apology and peace offering.)

* * *

><p>*laughs weakly* Ta-da? *waits for more foodstuff be thrown in my direction* Review with any comments or concerns! *dodges thrown cantaloupe* Thanks for reading! See you next Chapter! *skedaddles*<p> 


	65. Chapter 65

Can you tell that I'm a college student? *rubs hand over face* I'm so sorry. Really. Meant to have this out on Halloween. Didn't happen obviously. Ugh. Sorry again for your wait. Hope you all enjoy this Chapter. I've got two Halloween Rules in this Chapter, along with some Decepticon rules. I figured, what the heck. Why wait another ten months to use them? Also, I apologize for any and all mistakes.

I appreciate all of you! Thank you so much for being so patient with me! *gives you all a Unicron sized hug* I promise not to abandon this Fic! Cross my heart and hope to fly! *crosses heart*

Sesshykiss13 gets all the Credit for Rules #302 and #301 with sugar being one of the most destructive forces in the universe and the mauling of hats.

**Optimus' girl: **I can see the havoc and the mayhem that their wrecking, believe me. XD With Sam and Leo, it's not hard. XD Definitely going to make this into a Rule because Leo + Sam + that watch thing from the show = THE WHOLE BASE IN PANIC. The things that they would change into…Primus…I also love the Rule Idea about dumping Galloway into a dumpster. Little aft needs it. And thank you for allowing me to use you second, unused FFP. Judging from my lack of update…I'm gonna need it. *sweats nervously* Sorry for your really long wait…And thank you so so much for sticking with this Fic. :) Your reviews mean a lot!

**nightbird1001:** You have PM posting denied on your account, so I'll just respond to your review here. :) I absolutely ADORE your Rule suggestion. Mostly because I'm speaking from personal experience. When someone tries to get between me and my ice cream, especially Dairy Queen, I will get violent. Kinda like Gollum in Lord of the Rings. XD I can definitely see this fight breaking out between Ratchet and the women at base. Ratchet: 0, Girl Power: 1. P.S. Thanks for the review, Rule, and for the read. :)

Disclaimer:

Me: Do you hear that?

Sunstreaker: What? What is it?

Me: The sound…of sleigh bells…

Sunstreaker: O.o

Me: It's December...That means Christmas is coming up soon...I can feel Santa breathing down my neck. *shivers*

Sunstreaker: You really should schedule a check-up with Ratchet…Your head is messed up again…The things you think of…*edges away*

Me: I'll put up with Santa's creepy smiles from all the department store windows if he grants me my Christmas wish…To own all the Transformers…*sighs wistfully*

Sunstreaker: *rolls optics* Keep dreaming, human.

* * *

><p><strong>300. Explaining love to Knock Out is pointless.<strong>

(Being a Medic…that makes everything a science to him.)

(What little he knows, or cares to know, about humans and their functions is all hormone changes and basic carnal desires.)

(According to Knock Out, humans are all basically walking, talking, defecating animals.)

(Animals that occasionally have the need to stuff themselves to the brim with Twinkies when they become stressed or threatened in some way.)

(And that's just his opinion on our 'fight-or-flight' response. Don't even get him started on our emotions.)

(Things like 'love' and 'passion' are ludicrous in his book.)

(When I tried to explaining 'love' and the feelings that go along with it to the Medic, he couldn't seem to get past 'interfacing'.)

"The term 'making love' is preposterous. Is that how you humans show your affection for one another? Clawing at each other and spewing bodily fluids everywhere? Disgusting."

(I think he's getting 'love' and 'lust' mixed up…but I really don't want to correct him…Awkward.)

(Forcing Knock Out to watch romantic comedies in hopes that he understands the difference between the two is not a good solution to the problem.)

(In fact…I think that I just made it worse…Now he makes fun of our versions of comedy and sources of humor.)

(This involves picking apart any one-liner or pun that I happen to use around him and giving me snark for it.)

(He thinks my little attempts to be funny are cute…)

(Cute like a little piglet that's been litter-box trained. He's threatened to stomp me into goo if I continue to make jokes.)

**301. Soundwave does not need a new look.**

(Let me tell you a little story.)

(Once upon a time, there was an ignorant young woman that amused herself by angering god-like alien robots with her rather annoying, life-threatening plans.)

(Her latest escapade involved a cheap fedora, a roll of duck tape, and a plan.)

(This plan involved taking a regular cube of Energon, slipping in a couple Cybertronian sedatives that the young woman had stolen from Knock Out's Med Bay earlier that week, and presenting the tampered Cube to Soundwave.)

(Why the young woman thought it was a good idea to drug one of the most intimidating mechs on the _Nemesis_…the world may never know…)

(After the sedatives kicked in, the young woman grabbed a ladder and managed to climb all the way up to Soundwave's helm in record time.)

(There, she took the rather tiny fedora and artfully duck taped the accessory to Soundwave's helm, making sure that it was securely in place.)

(It's a miracle that the young woman is not paste on the ground right now…because when Soundwave woke up from his little 'nap'…he was not happy with the young woman.)

(He proceeded to yank the fedora off of his helm and shred it with his creepy tentacles in front of the young woman's very eyes.)

(That was when the young woman decided that that was the perfect time to pray to Primus for her life.)

(Turns out, Megatron allowed the squishing of humans, just not on the ship because guts are a glitch to clean up.)

(To this day, it's been said that Soundwave still hunts for the young woman that taped a fedora to his helm in order to extract his revenge.)

(He continues to totally ignore the E-Mails that the young woman sends him from time to time from various public computers. E-Mails that are full of apologies and explanations.)

(He is a relentless beast and does not appreciate changes being made to his fashion statement.)

(Moral of the story…It is unwise to anger Decepticons that have the ability to hack into your bank account and find your social security number.)

(The End.)

**302. Monitor the candy intake of small children.**

(As if we haven't learned from all the other times that candy was involved.)

(You'd think that, wouldn't you?)

(Welp…We haven't. Who knew?)

(So when Anabelle returned to the base after a night of successful trick-or-treating, we weren't really watching how much candy she was eating.)

(Lennox and Sara had already turned in for the night, planning to spend the night at the base in order to get some sleep.)

(Annabelle was a hard core trick-or-treater and had really worn her parents out in her efforts to get as much candy as possible.)

(They had left their daughter in our capable hands. 'Our' being Leo, Kup, Hot Rod, Sideswipe, and me.)

(Sam and Mikaela were out trick-or-treating themselves…At least, that's what they wanted us to believe. Cue eyeroll.)

(Anyway, Annabelle was in capable hands and servos. We were watching her just fine…just…not what she was eating.)

(And it's not like her behavior was a tip off. She was onto her second canvas bag full of candy by the time the sugar really started kicking in, making her crazier and wilier than a cornered raccoon.)

(Kup the war hero couldn't outsmart her. Hot Rod and Sideswipe the speedsters couldn't catch her. Leo the spaz couldn't predict her next crazy move.)

(Me? I was just trying not to die laughing…or let anyone else hear that we had let a small child ingest nearly a whole candy store worth of sugar.)

(Eventually, Ironhide had to be called in because there was no way in Pit that we were going to be able to catch the kid on our own.)

(After Annabelle was caught by a very irritated 'Hide, I convinced the irritated weapons specialist that Lennox and Sarah never had to know that we let their child get out of control.)

(It's just that now Ironhide knows that I owe him one and owing one to Ironhide is never a good thing.)

**303. Pumpkin carving. Not even once.**

(Primus…Who thought that this was going to be a good idea?)

(Carving...That involves sharp objects. Let's break out the knives around some pretty mentally unstable 'Bots. What could go wrong?)

(Who thought that it would be a good idea to let Ironhide carve a pumpkin…or Wheeljack…or Sideswipe…or any Autobot for that matter?)

(I mean, at first things looked like they were going to go fine.)

(But someone, I don't know who, decided to throw some pumpkin guts at Sideswipe.)

(All Pit broke loose.)

(It was no longer pumpkins that were being carved, but Autobot frames.)

(Ironhide was going to break up the fight after he got Annabelle safely out of the room, but ended up joining it instead.)

(It was an all-out war.)

(Wheeljack was tossing these pumpkin bombs that he had been making instead of carving his pumpkin that exploded with a pretty big bang, splattering pumpkin guts everywhere.)

(In the end, Big Momma Optimus had to be called in to break up the fight.)

(He was pretty ticked too. He ended up sending all the 'Bots involved to their berthrooms for a time-out.)

(I would have laughed at Ironhide's pouty face if I wasn't afraid of getting stepped on by him…)

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><p>Welp? What'd ya think? Good? Bad? Find a mistake? Feel free to let me know by sending me a PM or a review! Thanks for reading! Also, I apologize again for the huge wait. ^^; If I don't post anything beforehand, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!<p> 


	66. Chapter 66

Happy Valentine's Day! *runs out of room before you all can pelt me with bricks*

Sentinel Prime gets all the Credit for Rule #305 with the Golden Rule not really being applied at the base…

Dragonsrule18 gets all the Credit for Rule #307 with an awfully big ruckus being caused over a couple spilled drops of dairy.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #304 with a train horn being a real improvement to 'angry chipmunk going through puberty'.

Kurohane Ookami gets all the Credit for Rule #306 with Mirage being a little cheat when he wants to be.

Hawky gets all the Credit for Rule #308 with Sideswipe never allowed to be Simon ever again.

Disclaimer:

Me: I've got it. *smacks fist into palm* The perfect way to thaw Galloway's frozen heart. Maybe after this he'll stop being such an aft and lighten up a little.

Ratchet: Oh really? And what is this amazing plan of yours?

Me: We're going to get every available 'Bot to corner him and give him the biggest group hug of his life. The power of love shall cause Galloway's shriveled heart to triple in size, thus cause him to become a better person. It's foolproof! *triumphant grin*

Ratchet: ….I don't think I'm even going to bother commenting on this one…

Me: That's because it's so awesome and is totally going to work. Now call everyone up! We need to make this happen!

Ratchet: *vents heavily and starts to walk away* You call them. I'm tired of dealing with your idiocy.

Sideswipe: I think this is a great plan! I hope I don't hug him a little _too_ hard, though. I wouldn't want to break all his bones or anything like that…*chuckles evilly*

Me: …I'm actually starting to think that this is a bad idea…*edges away from Sideswipe* StoleTheSpider does not own the Transformers…

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><p><strong>304. Starscream's voice is bad enough as it is. Don't go making it worse.<strong>

(Hook is really twisted. Don't ever forget that.)

(It's just…sometimes it really suits my purposes.)

(For example, he recently helped me pull a little prank on Starscream.)

(The SIC was in Hook's Med Bay, going through some standard issue upgrades and repairs, when Hook suddenly forced the Seeker into stasis.)

(While in stasis, the Constructicon managed to do a little switcheroo on Starscream, switching out his voicebox and replacing it with a train horn.)

(Hook then pulled Starscream out of stasis and sent him on his merry way, not even bothering to explain why he had put him under in the first place.)

(He'd figure it out on his own soon enough.)

(But no way was I going to wait that long! I had better things to do than follow Starscream around all day, waiting for him to talk. I had to intervene.)

(And when I say 'intervene', I actually mean 'pester the living daylights out of him until he snaps and starts screaming'.)

(Didn't take much. Only one little comment whisper-screamed to Barricade about how Starscream's voice sounds like an angry chipmunk going through puberty.)

(Starscream overheard me-not like I was trying _not_ to be heard-and started to scream at me for being an annoying, insubordinate little ball of spit.)

(At least, that's what he tried to do. The only sounds that came out of his mouth were train whistles.)

(While Barricade nearly popped a piston due to laughter, the humiliated SIC bolted off like someone had set his aft on fire.)

(I think that's the last I'll be seeing of Starscream for a while…at least until he figures out that it was my idea to switch out his voice box.)

**305. Treat others how you want to be treated.**

(Maybe that's why Sentinel treats me like a piece of slag.)

(Because I treat him like a piece of slag.)

(I always make fun of him.)

(It's not like it's hard! There's so much to choose from!)

(His optic ridges, his chin, his voice, his choice in altmode, his stupid little shield, his beard, his helm…I could go on and on.)

(Don't even get me _started_ on his mustache. And his EYEBROWS! PRIMUS!)

(Have you seen those things!? They're like giant wings! So feathery looking and luxurious…)

(They're my favorite thing to rib him about.)

(At first, I didn't think that my ribbing was getting through to the older Prime, hence why picking on him was such a wonderful de-stressor.)

(But after a while, it seemed like my teasing was getting to the 'Bot, because now, instead of ignoring me like always, he snaps back at me with his own jabs.)

"My apologies, human. I almost did not recognize you. It is so hard to tell you apart from those Earth creatures you call chipmunks. You both look so alike, you see. You both have chubby cheeks and small statures... You could care to lose some weight to prevent this mistake from happening again."

(Oh, it is so _on_!)

(That big pompous ball of metal thinks that he can out rib _me_! No one calls me fat and gets away with it!)

(At least…It'll be on as soon as my time in the big is over…)

(After Sentinel ribbed me, I kind of lost it.)

(Optimus walked in on me trying to chew Sentinels pede off with little success.)

(I think I chipped a tooth…)

**306. Mirage is the absolute worst mech to play Hide 'n Seek with.**

(Annabelle is the sweetest kid around, no one disagrees.)

(But she's still a toddler, which means that she can be kind of a handful sometimes.)

(Her parents need a break now and then, leaving the rest of us to decide whose turn it is to babysit.)

(But it wasn't just our call. It's Annabelle that ultimately decides who's going to be babysitting her.)

(This week, she wanted Mirage to be her guardian while her parents went out on a dinner date.)

(Mirage, who was still kind of new at the base, wasn't really sure how to babysit a toddler.)

(I just told him to Google the basics, hide the sugar, and play any games that Annabelle wanted to play, up to, and including, horsey.)

(Mirage thought that 'horsey' was beneath him, but was all too willing to play 'Hide 'n Seek'.)

(Annabelle was just happy that Mirage was playing with her, but was a little disappointed when she couldn't find him right away.)

(She considered herself the expert on playing the game, and was determined to find Mirage.)

(Eventually, after five hours of watching Annabelle tirelessly search for Mirage, I had to sit the poor girl down and tell her about Mirages' invisibility trick.)

(She was immediately offended and accused Mirage of being a 'dirty cheater', refusing to have anything to do with the mech until he showed himself and apologized.)

(It was pretty funny watching Mirage grovel at Annabelle's little feet…)

(But it was either grovel, or let Ironhide find out that you angered his little charge.)

**307. Never, EVER, eat in an Autobot's altmode.**

(Some Autobots aren't really picky about people eating in their altmodes.)

(Some *coughSIDESWIPEcough* will tear you a new one if you even _think_ about getting food anywhere _near_ their altmodes.)

(Ironhide used to be one of the more lenient 'Bots, but I figured that that was because he moonlighted as the Lennox family vehicle sometimes. Annabelle is messier than most small children.)

('Used to' being the key here. Now he doesn't let anyone _but _the Lennox family eat inside his cab.)

(It's mostly my fault…But part of it is Leo's!)

(It was his fault that my ice cream fell on Ironhide's upholstery! He shouldn't have taken that stupid game, Flappy Bird, so seriously!)

(All I had tried to do was get Leo's attention. I had just tapped him on the shoulder, nothing more. Primus forbid Leo pause the game or whatever to answer my question.)

(Apparently my tapping Leo on the shoulder caused him to mess up and die in the game, breaking the streak that he was going for. Something about beating Sam's high score of 94?)

(I couldn't really make out anything he was saying. He basically sounded like a distressed rooster.)

(Anyway, as retaliation for causing him to loose in Flappy Bird, Leo smacked my ice cream cone out of my hand.)

(Leo's First Mistake: That was Dairy Queen ice cream, and it was mine. He's going to pay for that later. Leo's Second Mistake = Ice cream is now all over Ironhide's upholstery. He'll probably pay for that now, with his life.)

(There were seven seconds of shocked silence after my ice cream was plastered all over Ironhide's cab, before all Pit broke loose.)

(Ironhide transformed faster than you can say 'Frag', throwing Leo and I out of his anterior in the process.)

(My rear end was skidded up pretty bad on impact, but that was nothing compared to the raw fear I felt as Ironhide bared down upon us, optics practically sparking in rage.)

(If Optimus hadn't been within shouting distance, I don't even want to think about some of the things that Ironhide would have done to us…)

(Saved by the Prime!)

**308. Simon Says is pointless with Autobots.**

(Everyone knows how competitive Sideswipe is.)

(It doesn't matter if you're playing a children's game like Duck, Duck, Goose, or a board game like Candyland, a video game like Assassin's Creed, or any other type of game. Sideswipe _has_ to win.)

(The mech will use any means necessary…even if that means he has to cheat a bit.)

(Because of this, no one really tries to beat the mech anymore, except when it's Simons Says and it's Annabelle.)

(Simon Says is one of her absolute favorite games. She's just as determined to win that as Sideswipe is.)

(I only found this out during her last visit when she challenged Sideswipe to a Simon Says 'duel'.)

(Cutest thing I've ever seen.)

(As the game started, I volunteered to be the first Simon, giving simple commands like "touch your hand to your head" and "sing like an opera singer".)

(I surprised everyone at the end with the command to "speak like a Dalek".)

(That eliminated almost everyone, mostly because hardly anyone at the base appreciates Doctor Who.)

(Sideswipe only stayed in because he actually pulled up an audio clip of a Dalek talking from the show and played it back to us, leaving him last person standing and winner of that round.)

(As Sideswipe took his place as Simon, his cocky, cheeky grin set off alarm bells in my head, warning me that he was planning something.)

(Judging by his first command…I was right.)

"Simon Says…Do THIS!"

(Then the little slag promptly switched from his bipedal mode into his alt mode.)

(I threw my hands up in defeat, along with the rest of the participants, but Annabelle looked like she was really trying to change forms.)

(Or she really had to use the restroom…)

(Either way, Sideswipe had won this game, cheating as per usual, but that didn't surprise anyone.)

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><p>HUGE BLANKET THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PUT UP WITH MY HUGE GAPS IN POSTING, WHETHER YOU'RE A NEW READER, LURKER, OR A READER THAT'S BEEN WITH ME SINCE DAY 1. I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! YOU'RE ALL AMAZING PEOPLE AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE AN AMAZING DAY! PRIMUS BLESS ALL OF YOU! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!<p> 


	67. Chapter 67

First of all: Aakhgdlaghdalghakldhahfoghriaogbrugb

Second of all: Allow me translate the above statement…I AM SO SORRY. LIFE. THINGS. REASONS. I HAVE NONE. WHAT. TIME. UGH. FORGIVE ME. (i need a doge meme as a visual aid...)

Chinagal1 gets all the Credit for Rule #309 with Bumblebee forcibly having to connect with his femmeinine side. (Ba-Dum-Tish)

Skyress98 gets all the Credit for Rule #310 with the Dinobots being easily distracted when they see anything prehistoric.

Guest gets all the Credit for Rule #311 with Sauron being a creepier, more evil version of Santa Claus…And Red Alert being terrified of both.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #312 with Ratchet having a rather dim view on the power of love.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #313 with Elita not really understanding the concept of 'sharing is caring'.

Disclaimer:

Sideswipe: *twiddles thumbs* So...What do we do? We've been sitting here for...*checks chronometer* 8 months, give or take a few days, and she still hasn't updated the Fic...Do we just sit around some more or...

Ratchet: *rubs his faceplates in exasperation* I don't know, nor do I care. With all this free time we've had I've finally gotten some work done around here. Though, I do miss the readers. Their comments were rather nice to read.

Sideswipe: *grins* Whatever Ratchet. We all know you just loved the attention.

Ratchet: *scowls* Don't you have reports to fill out? If not, at least go be annoying somewhere else.

Sideswipe: *gets up and stretches* Yeah, I got work to do, but I think it can wait a bit. Sunny can handle them without me. Right now, I'm going to get the authoress back. She may not own us and she may be annoying sometimes-

Ratchet: *mutters sarcastically* Sometimes?

Sideswipe: -but she was the authoress and I'm sure that some of her readers miss her updates. That is, if they haven't killed her by now...*ponders that last statement* Yeah, I'd better get her before the readers do. They'll be nothing left to bury if they did.

Ratchet: *sighs* It's about to get a lot more chaotic around here...

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><p><strong>309. Tampering with Bumblebee's radio is frowned upon. <strong>

(Bumblebee may be pretty omnivorous when it comes to music, but there are stations that even HE won't listen to.)

(Girly pop stations being one of them.)

(Besides the fact that the songs on those stations have very little use as conversation fodder for 'Bee, he really can't stand to listen to them.)

(So it's not the best idea to tamper with the scout's radio so that the only stations he picks up are said girly pop stations.)

(One wouldn't be able to do this act alone, Cybertronian tech is tricky enough, but if you ask Jazz or Blaster nicely enough and bribe them with iTunes gift cards, they'll help.)

(You should have seen the look on Bumblebee's faceplates the next day when he switched on his radio and all he got was Brittany Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Taylor Swift.)

(I thought he was going to glitch out right there!)

(Everyone was laughing as 'Bee frantically switched from song to song, station to station, only to have each one of them be filled with girly tween madness.)

(Even Optimus was stifling a chuckle or two behind his servo.)

(Jazz, feeling sorry for Bumblebee, ratted me out and told him that it was me who had asked him to change his stations over.)

(I've never heard the lyrics of 'Oops I Did it Again' used with such malice...The way he played the song you'd think it was about an ax murderer or something!)

(I'm hiding from Ironhide in an air vent right now as I speak...Bumblebee paid him with fresh Energon cubes to hunt me down and make me suffer...)

(Needless to say, I'll probably be up here for awhile. Tell my potato cannon I love it.)

**310. When in doubt…MOVIE TIME.**

(You don't know the meaning of the word 'exasperated' until you have to babysit the Dinobots for five hours straight while the rest of the team is off kicking Decepticon can.)

(The Dinobots would have been out with the 'Bots, but they were put under house arrest by orders of Optimus because Grimlock thought it was a good idea to play a game of Lobbing inside the base.)

(Teletraan 1 got a ball right in the monitor.)

(It took Wheeljack several days to get Teletraan 1 fully up and running again.)

(So now here I am, stuck babysitting a bunch of robot dinosaurs that have the attention span of several chipmunks and a bad the habit of setting things on fire when they get bored.)

(They kept trying to escape the base and wreck havoc outside, and it took all of my strength, shouts, and the last of my Dinobot Energon treats to stop that from happening.)

(Finally, I decided that popping a movie into Teletraan 1 was my last option, thankful that I had left a stash of VCR tapes in Spike's room for later viewing.)

(One of those movies was 'Dinosaur', and it was an instant hit with the Dinobots.)

(I've never seen them give anything so much of their attention! And for so long!)

(They especially loved it when dinosaurs that looked like them popped up on the screen, cheering and roaring when pterodactyls, triceratops, and such appeared.)

(You know, for being really annoying 90% of the time, the Dinobots can be really adorable the other 10%.)

(When they're not setting things on fire, that is.)

**311. WHO THE FRAG BROUGHT UP SAURON?!**

(Did I mention that Red Alert is really paranoid?)

(No?)

(WELL HE FRAGGIN' IS! AND SOMEONE HAD TO GO AND BRING UP SAURON WHILE I WAS WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS!)

(Now he thinks that Sauron is always watching him, using his evil eye powers to constantly keep tabs on him.)

(I tried telling Red Alert that Sauron dies at the end of the third movie, but Red Alert just wouldn't listen.)

(There's also the fact that Sauron isn't real in the first place, but since when has that ever convinced Red Alert of anything?)

(He's been making tinfoil hats all day, taping over windows with masking tape, and sneaking around like he's some master ninja spy.)

(Every time someone tries to speak to him, he lets out this high-pitched scream and glitches.)

(Ratchet's taken to following him around, just waiting for him to glitch, knowing that nothing can convince Red Alert to calm down.)

(You just have to wait some things out...)

(And put up with all the screaming.)

(Trust me when I say that this not the worst thing that Red Alert has overreacted to.)

(You should have see how he acted when Annabelle told him about Santa Claus.)

(The whole base was on 'Red Alert', meaning that no one was allowed outside, all means of escape were sealed, and Red Alert became the dictator of fear for the whole week.)

(Sam, Leo, and Mikaela took to hiding with me in my trusty hidey-hole in the ventilation system.)

**312. Ratchet knows his stuff. **

(If you believe movies and books, you'll know that love is a very powerful power source.)

(I mean, come on! The power of love helped Harry Potter withstand a direct attack from Lord Voldemort when he was just a baby! What else can do that?)

(But don't talk to Ratchet about the power of love. You'll just get a speech about things like estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, and a slag-ton of other medical terms.)

(My head is spinning with all this anatomy stuff!)

(Maybe it's just a Medic thing, because I'm pretty sure that Knock Out feels that same way about love.)

(Bumblebee, however, totally believes in the power of love, especially after I showed him the movie 'Warm Bodies'.)

(He tried to get Ratchet to watch the movie with him, if not to see the power of live firsthand, then to look at the human decomposition examples that were the zombies.)

(When R was actually cured of zombie-ism with the power of love that he and Julie shared, Ratchet scoffed so loud that it shook the T.V.)

(He then went about explaining how the chemicals and hormones involved in feeling 'love' could not possibly bring a person back from apparent death, zombie or otherwise.)

(I just paused the movie and gave Ratchet a sly look and said...)

"How would you know Ratchet? It might not work with you Cybertronians, but humans are different. You'd know that if you bothered to study us more."

(Ratchet gave me a look, glanced at the paused movie, back to me, then got up and left.)

(He's in his berth room downloading as many human medical books as he can, fervently searching for instances of love that have cured diseases and such.)

(While he's studying, I'm helping myself to one of my more cleverly hidden candy stashes.)

**313. Looking back, maybe PR wasn't such a great idea…**

(After the whole Chicago fiasco, what with the giant alien deathships and such, the guys at N.E.S.T thought that the Autobots needed some help with their public image.)

(Many people had lost friends and family in the Chicago incident and were more than a bit hostile towards any alien robot, good or bad, because of it.)

(So, in order to make the public more trusting towards the Autobots again, they were asked to write letters to the Autobots, then some of the Autobots would reply.)

(The letters that kindergartners at a nearby school sent were downright adorable. Some of the kids even went so far as to draw pictures to accompany their letters.)

(But it wasn't those letters that were causing such a fuss.)

(Apparently, Optimus has quite the fan following.)

(The last base that the Autobots were stationed at had girls of all ages throwing themselves at the perimeter fences, trying to get inside to see one little peek of Prime.)

(No one thought anything of it then, but now, almost buried under fan mail from females fans, Optimus has to deal with all this sudden attention.)

(He's taking it rather well...Elita, however, isn't.)

(Woe to any fangirl of Optimus' that approaches him when Elita is around. Mega-woe if you approach him, Elita is there, and there are no other Autobots present to drag her away from you for having the nerve to approach her hubby.)

(She's really protective of Optimus and doesn't really understand that 'Sharing is Caring'.)

(I told her about the whole "Sharing is Caring" thing and she nearly blew my head off.)

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><p>I'm back, baby! Whoo! X) Hope you enjoyed this Chapter and I'd like to apologize for the incredibly long wait (8 month, frag...). I know what it's like to wait for updates on Fics and I'm sorry that you had to wait so long for an update in this Fic. Feel free to let me know what you think about this Chapter in a PM or review, or if you just want to rant at me, that's fine too! If you spot and grammar mistakes or spelling errors, point them out to me via review! Thanks a ton!<p> 


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